Yōkai (Abandoned)

[Hitai de Bodemloze]

You know, I didn't mean it as a criticism. I think your format goes really well with the whole "excitement, adventure, and really wild things" overall style. Changing the major characters each act helps (along with the "really wild things") keep us a bit off-balance, but still gives us enough time to decide we like (or dislike) them.

I was really just commenting on the fact that it's become pretty obvious I shouldn't rely on any of this AAR's characters surviving more than an act. Which isn't a bad thing - it adds to the excitement. Or possibly the adventure. And - at least in some cases - it definitely adds to the "really wild things".

It's nice to know some of the characters we've met already will last a bit longer, though, if only because I want to know what happens to the bits of plot that would fall apart if they all died.

Looking forward to the next update (whenever it's convenient for you).

I know, don't worry! I was criticizing myself, since I'm not happy with some things in the story, since I know I can do better. But this format and this style works, inasmuch that it keeps me invested in writing it, so I'm learning to accept its faults for the better of the story in general.

But I definitely DO want an exciting story, where no one - not even I - know what's going to happen next, because it's fun to write and hopefully fun to read. The story is written very much off the cuff and off the top of my head. Although I have plans and ideas for future acts, they're actually only just single scenes (usually huge plot twists) that I want to write - everything else I make up as I go along, in order to reach those points. Take Act 2 for example. I knew it was going to end in Osaka on a train. Over time, my ideas of what I wanted to happen changed and eventually I had the idea of reintroducing Suzushi - something I wanted to do anyway. So I had the idea of Suzushi meeting Shinji on the train, pretty much that entire scene, planned out months in advance. Everything from Matsusaka to Nabari was just improvised. But without that improvisation, we wouldn't have Ryukei, the Red Rider or Mashira - they all just popped up out of nowhere in order to advance the plot. Hell, that's pretty much where Suzushi came from as well. I like this method though, since the characters just kind of naturally appear and write themselves. They also provide me with other ways and methods to reach the future scenes I want to write.

Of course there a plot holes to be filled in with this kind of format too, but I also try to work that to my advantage, so many of the twists and turns will be answers to questions people have nearly forgotten about, which adds to their impact hopefully, then everything gets explained one bit at a time, like a jigsaw puzzle. But I also know that even if the story and the logic seems clear to me, with the format it might not to you guys, so I worry about that sometimes.

Edit: We're also at 10 pages now! Crazy. Only 1,000 views until we surpass Kyoto too. I'll definitely do something special when we reach 10k views. Then we'll start catching up with that pesky Merchant fellow

[Hitai de Bodemloze]

The Greatest Victory
Okayama-han, January 1865

As the winter stretched on, they headed west once more, making for the city of Okayama. Purchasing a new horse for Suzushi in Himeji, they rode through the ever present snow, seeking shelter wherever possible every night.

Ryukei proved to be an exemplary companion. Although he quickly became cold hearted and ruthless on the subject of demons, he nonetheless afforded Suzushi nothing less than the upmost respect and courtesy. Only a few years older than she, he still had a boyish charm to him, despite his rugged manner and lifestyle.

“I don’t trust him,” Akashi told her one night, as they stayed in an inn a few days ride from the city of Okayama. Ever the gentleman, Ryukei had secured a second room for himself, giving her some much needed privacy. Spending the days riding and conversing with the demon hunter had left little time for Akashi and Suzushi savoured every spare moment she had with the necklace.

Some conversations were becoming particularly stale however. “So you say,” she sighed, as Akashi raised the same point once again. “I don’t understand why you can’t accept him. He’s helping us catch Shinji remember? The boy who killed you?”

Akashi made an uncomfortable sound. “We don’t need his help. He’s told us the boy is going to Nagasaki. Let’s just go to Nagasaki and forget about Ryukou.”

“It’s Ryukei,” Suzushi corrected him, although she knew the mistake had been a deliberate one. “Besides, there’s no guarantee we’ll be able to find him there without Ryu-kun’s lantern. Besides, what if the boy doesn’t go to Nagasaki? We benefit from keeping Ryu-kun around, so we’re going to keep him around.”

The captain murmured something about strangling, but was eventually quiet. Despite Akashi’s sour mood – something she was already well accustomed to anyway – she was quite happy with how things were going. Although she had failed to capture Shinji on the train, her mission was back on track. She did not know if she could corner the boy before he left Japan, but she was trying her best.

Her love for Akashi had not wavered either, despite now travelling with Ryukei, who kept her attentions away from the necklace. The former captain was as he ever was and just to hear his voice was enough to keep her happy and satisfied. No longer was she burdened or weighed down by her love; instead it liberated her, inspired her, drove her to continue on.

Akashi still didn’t understand it. Admittedly he was suffering from quite a drastic existential crisis, so Suzushi didn’t blame him too much. Yet he had not begun to understand his own feelings for her, nor understand hers for him. However much she might tell him she loved it, she knew it would be a long time before he could comprehend those feelings; to understand how and why they both blossomed and endured. He was never leaving her now though and she had all the patience in the world to wait for him to finally understand.

“What did he mean by ‘demon gathering’ by the way?” Akashi asked. Suzushi had yet to sleep and had instead simply been staring idly at the ceiling of her room.

“The yokaishuuketsu?” she qualified absently. “It was something started shortly after the assassination of Ii Naosuke in 1860. It was only just over a year ago that concerted efforts were made however. There’s going to be a war between the emperor and the Shogun – you know that much Kyo-chan. The emperor wants every edge he can get in the war. Although we have many weapons from the West, the Shogun does too. There are still powerful yokai roaming our lands – the emperor wants them for the war. Then again, I imagine the Shogun has his own agents searching for them too.”

Akashi was silent for a while. “I had no idea,” he spoke finally. “I thought it was only the boy the emperor wanted.”

“The boy is one of the strongest,” Suzushi told him. “You’ve seen that much for yourself. There are few yokai who can kill so efficiently, from such great distances and with such little effort. Needless to say, it’s doubtful there are many stronger than him.”

“How many others have we gathered?”

The ishin shishi shrugged. “I’m not sure. The time of the yokai ended long ago, there are very few of them left on our shores. Many were banished by hunters such as Ryu-kun, others simply left for their own realms. I heard rumours that other agents managed to secure the allegiance of some, but I don’t have numbers.”

“But Ryushi said that you were in charge of the operation?” Akashi reminded her of their first meeting with the hunter.

“I do not know where he got his information from,” Suzushi said slowly. “That’s not entirely true however.”

In truth, it was something that worried her. Although she would expect a demon hunter to be abreast of happenings in the ghostly sphere, to know the inner workings of the imperial court… That he knew of her and of the emperor’s plan was definitely something she could not forget; a constant reminder that their companion, despite his charm, was still a very dangerous individual.

“Do you think we can win?” Akashi asked her finally, his thoughts ever on the brewing war.

Suzushi smiled as she drifted off to sleep. As far as she was concerned, she had already won.

[Hitai de Bodemloze]

Man I meant to update this ages ago, sorry I got so side tracked. Will also get around to reading everyone's updates soon as well!

[Merchant of Venice]

Yet again another wonderful chapter and excellent accompanying screenshot. The relationship between Akashi and Suzushi is humorous to read though I'm not quite sure how it's going to work when they get more intimate.....

[Alwyn]

I agree with Merchant. I like the idea of the emperor and Shogun searching for the remaining yokai as the countdown to war continues.

[Hitai de Bodemloze]

Yet again another wonderful chapter and excellent accompanying screenshot. The relationship between Akashi and Suzushi is humorous to read though I'm not quite sure how it's going to work when they get more intimate.....

I agree with Merchant. I like the idea of the emperor and Shogun searching for the remaining yokai as the countdown to war continues.

Thanks!

Man I've been really slack with updates recently. I think I feel kind of bad updating faster than I read things Managed to read a few updates though, will get round to everyone else's as soon as possible. I have exams this week, then I have three weeks off to catch up with everything.

[Hitai de Bodemloze]

Compromise
Okayama-han, January 1865

“Are you going to tell me about him?”

Suzushi looked up absently, to see Ryukei looking at her curiously. They were riding together through the snow, perhaps not a few hours from the city of Okayama. She had been lost in her own thoughts; ones occasionally intermingled with Akashi’s own.

“Her?” Ryukei tried again. “It?”

“What are you talking about Ryu-kun?” Suzushi asked with a smile.

The demon hunter rolled his eyes good-naturedly. “The spirt in the necklace around your neck,” he explained. “I take it the two of you are friends?”

Suzushi was dumbfounded. “How did you know?”

“I have no idea why the emperor gives you so much responsibility…” Akashi complained again, but she ignored him.

Ryukei laughed and pointed to the lantern at his side. It was still glowing amber, just as it had done the first night they had met. “If you’re not a demon, something around here must be. I’m guessing it’s your necklace? You’re always fiddling with it when you think no one’s looking.”

Suzushi blushed deep red, hating the fact she wasn’t wearing her customary white powders and dyes. Usually she could conceal such reactions, but this time she had been caught. “Oh…well, I guess you could say we’re friends.”

“I think ‘friends’ is pushing it a bit too far. ‘Acquaintances’ maybe? ‘Kidnapper and hostage’?” Akashi suggested. She ignored him again.

“Is he another demon you’ve recruited for the war?” Ryukei asked. He didn’t seem inquisitive or interrogative, just innocently curious. Suzushi didn’t like it. It reminded her too much of herself.

She nodded. “Yes,” she told the hunter. “He has a very special part to play.”

Ryukei smiled for a moment, before his expression soured. “You should be careful Suzushi-san,” he warned her in a low tone. “Don’t get too close to a demon. They can never be trusted. If you even begin to think of it in the same way as a human, it will have complete control over you. They were fickle and wicked creatures. Do not give into their temptations.”

“He’s one to talk,” Akashi scoffed. “Did he wake up early to groom that hair of his?”

“It’s just a harmless tsukumogami,” Suzushi reassured the rider beside her. “I wouldn’t worry too much Ryu-kun. Thank you for your concern though.”

Ryukei nodded, before continuing. “Would you mind if I look a look at it?”

“No, no, no, no, no, no, no,” Akashi repeated frantically as Suzushi stared blankly at Ryukei. Even before Akashi had awoken inside the necklace, she had never been able to part from it ever since affixing it around her neck. There was no way she could hand it over to anyone else. Besides, what if they heard Akashi?

After a long pause, she shook her head. “I’m sorry Ryu-kun, I can’t do that.”

Ryukei looked concerned at this, as if perhaps it reinforced the earlier fears he had voiced. However, he made no attempt to force her to do otherwise. “It’s just my lantern,” he began to explain, pointing once again to the object at his waist. “It’s been flashing for months now because of your necklace. If I can’t at least learn something about that necklace, I’m not sure I can fix my lantern to stop picking up that signal. Then we’ll struggle to catch that Shinji boy.”

Hesitating, Suzushi tried to find a compromise. “Is there any way you can fix the lantern without touching the necklace?”

The hunter frowned, more in thought than in frustration. “I could try,” he guessed eventually. “But it would be more difficult. You would have to give me the name of the demon at the very least. Do you know it?”

“This doesn’t feel right…” Akashi warned her. She agreed, but it was a compromise she was willing to make; to keep Akashi with her and to find Shinji.

“Akashi,” she told Ryukei. “His name is Akashi Kyoumu.”

Ryukei didn’t say anything for a moment. Eventually he nodded. “Thank you Suzushi-san. I’ll get to work on the lantern this evening.”

As they rode on in silence, Suzushi did not know if she had just made a huge mistake or not.

[Caillagh de Bodemloze]

Oh, I like this chapter.

I think Suzushi's discomfort and her eventual decision to share Akashi's name are really nicely done. I think I'm getting to like Ryukei, too - that was a clever way to get the information!

[Merchant of Venice]

Tricky Ryukei, I don't think Akashi is going to have a great night now. Also, does this mean that he'll turn into some awkward third wheel because that would be some funny stuff.

[Hitai de Bodemloze]

Oh, I like this chapter.

I think Suzushi's discomfort and her eventual decision to share Akashi's name are really nicely done. I think I'm getting to like Ryukei, too - that was a clever way to get the information!

Cheers Why wouldn't you like Ryukei? He's a nice fellow! It's Suzushi and Akashi who run around cutting people up and killing them. Ryukei's trying to save the world from demons! I think you guys have a very skewed moral compass since y'all always seem to think all the horrible people are the good guys

Tricky Ryukei, I don't think Akashi is going to have a great night now. Also, does this mean that he'll turn into some awkward third wheel because that would be some funny stuff.

We'll see From my perspective he's already quite an awkward character to write, since it often feels like I have to shoehorn him into conversations and it breaks the flow at times. One of the many reasons I'm not super happy with these chapters. But alas, we're stuck with it now. It can only - and will (I promise!) - get better

[Hitai de Bodemloze]

Rumours from Edo
Okayama, Okayama-han, March 1865

They arrived in Okayama that January and decided to rest in the city whilst Ryukei attempted to reconfigure his strange lantern. However, it was not the simple or quick task Suzushi anticipated and before she knew it a spring sun shone overhead.

Despite the delay, Okayama proved to be a welcoming place. In the two months they spent there, Suzushi was able to tap into the shishi network once again and avail herself of the brewing war once again. The closer they were to the Tozama domains of Satsuma, Choshu and Tosa, the more friendly faces she saw. Using her influence, she was able to secure further funds for her journey as well as new information.

Unfortunately, none knew of Shinji or his whereabouts. Neither was there any information on the nun Nishina. However, she learnt that pro-imperial forces in the Mito domain to the east had failed in their uprising. They had begun their revolt in the spring of the previous year, but had finally been defeated around the time her and Ryukei had entered Okayama. It was unwelcome news, but Suzushi knew it would only spur them on.

There had been little success on the western front either. Although war had yet to fully erupt across the country, the domain of Choshu in particular had been particularly belligerent. Whilst Suzushi and Akashi had been hunting Shinji in Asahi, ishin shishi agents had attempted to seize Kyoto. Naturally they had been unsuccessful and the Shogun had launched an invasion of Choshu. Luckily, Saigo Takamori, the wily dog that he was, had managed to broker peace before any blood could be spilled. It paid to have friends in high places.

Suzushi also learnt of further fighting with European forces in the vicinity of Shimonoseki in September. This worried her perhaps more than anything else, as it was where she predicted Shinji to be. The bridge between Honshu and Kyushu was a treacherous one at this minute and was a constant flashpoint, as had been proven in the past few years. Shinji had chosen a dangerous road to freedom and Suzushi only hoped she could reach him before he was blown to pieces by cannonade.

“We’re getting close now, aren’t we?” Akashi spoke one morning. Suzushi was taking her morning tea in a small establishment off one of Okayama’s main boulevards. She was scanning a newspaper idly, but her thoughts were elsewhere; distracted by the ribbons on her sleeve. With financial aid from other shishi agents, she had finally rid herself of the grey kimono she had been wearing and had managed to purchase something a bit more vibrant. Many long baths, a haircut and a re-appliance of makeup saw her quite rejuvenated.

“What do you mean Kyo-chan?” she asked warmly, in quite a pleasant mood now she was living in her accustomed luxury.

“The war,” Akashi explained with a sigh, as if he were talking to a child who refused to pay attention. “Mito, Choshu, Shimonoseki…It would be long now until we’re at war.”

Suddenly, something caught Suzushi’s attention in the newspaper. “No,” she agreed softly as she read the page before her. “No it won’t be long at all…”

It was a small article, simply entitled ‘Rumours from Edo’. Suzushi read it aloud, for Akashi’s benefit:

“This month, sources surrounding the seat of the Shogun let secrets slip. Across the wild lands of our fair nation, it will come as no surprise to most that tensions are high. Old wounds from Sekigahara have not healed. No, instead the encroachment of foreign barbarians has only served to re-open old cuts and add oil to a long-slumbering fire. Many of you will know about the Shogun’s attempt to quell the revolutionaries in Choshu just a few months ago. However, we have received information that the Shogun is not satisfied. Perhaps not enough blood was spilled. Perhaps he wants to see the Tozama thoroughly eradicated. Perhaps he wants to take the fight to the Western powers himself! Whichever the case, there is rumour abound that a new army is to march on Choshu once again! The Shogun’s wrath shall be known to the world in these dark times. We can only wait to see just how angry he truly is.

Bringing you truth in a land of lies, Satetsugawa Sakka.”

There was silence for a moment. “Well,” Akashi finally spoke, “that was some awful writing.”

Suzushi did not disagree. She knew journalists – especially ones as bad as this – would embellish any small rumour and try to sell it as fact. However, what if this rumour was true? Was the Shogun really sending a second army to Choshu? If so, why? The year previous, Choshu agents had tried to seize Kyoto; of course the Shogun would retaliate. But now? Nothing had happened those past few months. Why send a second expedition against them now? She sipped her tea slowly, long into the afternoon and long after it had already gone cold.

[Merchant of Venice]

Liked the little quip about poor journalism, oh god do I know bad journalism.

War can't be far off now, mmmm I love the smell of brewing tensions across Japan.

[Hitai de Bodemloze]

War can't be far off now

Only three years to go! I'm not going to tell you if that's story time or real time

I would update this, but I'm away from uni at the moment and without a mouse for my laptop, so screenshots are a little tricky. I might just use the time to finish up Act 3 and just do daily updates next week or something.

[Merchant of Venice]

I don't know if I could handle daily updates. Might have an overload of writing goodness and superstitious stuff!

[Caillagh de Bodemloze]

Cheers Why wouldn't you like Ryukei? He's a nice fellow! It's Suzushi and Akashi who run around cutting people up and killing them.

I think if I met Suzushi and Akashi they'd worry me, for sure!

I know you said writing Akashi is difficult, but I think so far it's been working well. It seems to me that if you have someone speaking and most people can't hear them, the result should be odd.

[Shankbot de Bodemloze]

As I did it for Merchant I thought it would only be fair if I did the same for you.

I've read Act 1, and I have to say mate that it was some excellent story-telling. :thumbsup I got a bit confused here and there, and some of the names required more effort than usual to remember who they belonged too.

It is a shame to see Akashi and Norito dead, their relationship seemed really interesting... for the first couple of chapters at least, then it just became chaos - the plot twists were more than worth it though, and I'm looking forward to reading Act 2.

One question, where did Suzushi appear from? I read she was either dead or missing. Looking forward to hopefully finding out the answer.

[Shankbot de Bodemloze]

Oi reply to me, I've finished Act 2 now.

Holy , I was not expecting Akashi to come back, I think I actually wet myself with excitement. I'm really engrossed in this story, and the way you portrayed Nishina and Shinji and their relationship was excellent, I liked the latter's POVs and his unique view of the world. When Suzushi made a surprise appearance I was pleased as well, I liked her character - it is difficult picking my favourite.

+rep

[Hitai de Bodemloze]

I don't know if I could handle daily updates. Might have an overload of writing goodness and superstitious stuff!

Ahem, well luckily that kind of didn't happen, my bad Things have been a bit hectic recently, so please bear with me.

I think if I met Suzushi and Akashi they'd worry me, for sure!

I know you said writing Akashi is difficult, but I think so far it's been working well. It seems to me that if you have someone speaking and most people can't hear them, the result should be odd.

That's a good way to look at it! I'll try to stop worrying

As I did it for Merchant I thought it would only be fair if I did the same for you.

I've read Act 1, and I have to say mate that it was some excellent story-telling. :thumbsup I got a bit confused here and there, and some of the names required more effort than usual to remember who they belonged too.

It is a shame to see Akashi and Norito dead, their relationship seemed really interesting... for the first couple of chapters at least, then it just became chaos - the plot twists were more than worth it though, and I'm looking forward to reading Act 2.

One question, where did Suzushi appear from? I read she was either dead or missing. Looking forward to hopefully finding out the answer.

Oi reply to me, I've finished Act 2 now.

Holy , I was not expecting Akashi to come back, I think I actually wet myself with excitement. I'm really engrossed in this story, and the way you portrayed Nishina and Shinji and their relationship was excellent, I liked the latter's POVs and his unique view of the world. When Suzushi made a surprise appearance I was pleased as well, I liked her character - it is difficult picking my favourite.

+rep

You read too fast Sorry I've been a bit snowed under with work thee past few days.

Thank you so much for finally finding some time to give this a read, it means a lot I'm glad you're enjoying it!

With regard to Suzushi, she did disappear for a bit in Act 1. There's still a lot of questions left to answer regarding Asahi; we'll find out one day (hopefully it'll make sense!). I think I mentioned before that I did honestly intend to kill Akashi off permanently, but a combination of his character, plus some interesting story arcs won him a place back. However reintroducing Suzushi was by far and away the most fun I've had writing so far; I gave myself goosebumps writing that first chapter on the train.

At the rate you're reading I should probably update faster It's been nearly a month which is criminal, considering I'm meant to be doing three updates a week Loads of it is already pre-written, I've just been a bit lazy about sorting out screenshots for all the chapters

[Shankbot de Bodemloze]

I said the same thing in Merchant's AAR thread, a bit of a gap between updates suits me fine... more time to catch up.

[Hitai de Bodemloze]

So I haven't updated this is a month and a half. As some of you may know, at the end of June I'm heading to China, where I'll be staying a small village in the middle of nowhere, without much time to really continue work here. Before then, I have a roller-coaster two months of exams and study sessions as I prepare for my long sojourn to the other side of the globe. In light of this, I've had to make a tough decision. Sometimes in life, you have to take responsibility for yourself and your work; to be mature and to accept what comes your way with your head held high. What's meant to be is meant to be. So, it's with a heavy heart that I must regrettably announce...

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Daily updates from now until the end of June