What to improve upon?

**Tigellinus** · May 27, 2014, 02:02 AM

Hello! Now, this question is more or less directed to those that read my writing, few of you as there is

Lately my writing for school has, apparently, been great. There is a problem with this, my teachers are failing to give criticism. I mean any criticism. While I love an ego boost, I do want to improve. So, for those of you that read my writing, what areas do I seem to do well (if any) and what areas should I improve upon and bring up to par?

Thanks all

Tigellinus

**Lugotorix** · May 27, 2014, 02:26 AM

You could give a little more focus to scenery. But truth be told, you have a knack for getting into place and character, wherever it is: A Sengoku Jidai psychopath reigned in by his tutor for example. Your cultural expression of each story seems to be appropriate, and someone already pointed out using the unit names: The ranks on the forums when Shogun II was out would be more appropriate ' ___ with a yari'

**Tigellinus** · May 27, 2014, 02:29 AM

Thanks mate!

I shall take this advice to heart and do what I can to improve

Thanks

Tigellinus

**m_1512** · May 27, 2014, 08:59 AM

One thing though, you start any post with a greeting, then the body, and with the signature. Nothing wrong as such, but highly uncommon here.

Right, to the topic, as Lugotrix correctly mentioned, it is the description which needs some looking into. I mean, what's the hurry? Take your time and feel absolutely free to drawl (not too much though) on describing the environment and what is happening. From what I have observed first hand, it creates interest than destroy it. Plus, you will also be breathing life into the tale, and you might not even realize when this happens.

**McScottish** · May 29, 2014, 03:48 PM

You're a terrible writer...naaaaaaah, I'm just kidding!

I actually have no sage wisdom for you, but I shall congratulate you on doing well. Just don't let it go to your head.

**Tigellinus** · May 30, 2014, 03:45 AM

Originally Posted by McScottish

You're a terrible writer...naaaaaaah, I'm just kidding!

I actually have no sage wisdom for you, but I shall congratulate you on doing well. Just don't let it go to your head.

Hahaha, no, no!I am, compared to you and many others!

Ha, it already has. I have become arrogant

@m - thanks for the advice mate!

so that is why I'm so good at essays! I'll take the advice and use it to teh best of my ability, which I hope you all notice n my next chapter

Nah, but thanks.

Tigellinus

**Tigellinus** · July 06, 2014, 03:04 AM

This will sound silly, I am sure.

But, I do believe I need teaching on describing the scenery, and limiting myself on character description.

I believe I describe the dialogue too much, and that my dialogue doesn't hold enough realism. Yet, after reading a few articles on dialogue, I am still at a loss of how to improve upon any of it.

How would you guys describe a scene? Any advice? What would you use to create realistic dialogue?

Thanks

Tigellinus

**Stívarðr Reynitré** · July 06, 2014, 03:11 AM

You must create a 'sense of place' for the reader that engages their visual imagination. Paint a picture with words. Imagine a camera floating across landscape and consider what your eyes would meet.

Do you want to create a sense of foreboding and ominous doom? Have the sky bruised and looming grey in the vast sky with tumbling clouds.

Do you want to create a genteel spring day? Have the listless blades of grass quivering at the kiss of a warm breeze.

**Boriak** · August 29, 2014, 03:36 PM

How to improve your writing? Write more. Possibly not AARs because that's a very select subgenre (if you can call it that) that requires a very select way of thinking and writing. If you want to really improve, get out of your comfort zone and start writing your own stories. It doesn't matter what genre, just that they're original work.