April 23, 2014
Roma_Victrix, TWC Field Reporter
Paris, France - The Paris Police Department was met with jeers today from Parisian crowds and gypsies when the department's leaked memo was revealed to support plans of having Russian homophobia formally legalized in the United States. US officials were outraged by the suggestion, as US-Russian relations hit a new low with the Ukrainian debacle and the pullout of McDonald's franchise restaurants from Crimea. The constitutionality of such a bill coming into law could be immediately challenged by the US Supreme Court, which has recently made headlines for its landmark decisions to uphold Citizens United, ridiculous firearm legislation in Georgia, and the capital punishment by hanging of Indian rapists along with their alleged female victims.
Support for the Russian homophobia bill is increasing, especially among disgruntled Nevada burger farmers, Ft. Hood Shooters, and anti-Semitic ex special forces operators, all of whom represent a significant part of the US electorate. President Obama has acknowledged this could signal trouble ahead for Democrats and moderate Republicans in this year's midterm elections.
White House Press Secretary Jay Carney was reached for comment by the
TWC Post at a recent White House press corps event. Asked to clarify the Obama administration's stance on Russian homophobia, Carney replied: "President Obama has made it clear that he will veto any such bill that lands on his desk. Quite frankly, he and Vice President Biden are appalled that Speaker of the House Boehner would support this measure. We are doing everything we can to rally GOP members still sitting on the fence of this issue to scuttle this bill, which is an obvious Hollande-Putin machination designed to distract the public from the ongoing events in Ukraine."
Carney declined to comment further on the point of French President François Hollande and Russian President Vladimir Putin, although social media sites such as Twitter are already buzzing with conspiracy theories. France, along with many EU countries, rely on the supply of Russian gas via GAZPROM. With the crisis in Venezuela, oil and gas imports from Russia are expected to increase, solidifying the EU's already cozy relationship with Russia that the US finds alarming.
To counter the proposed US legislation, a secret White House memo has recently revealed that the US is engineering support for sexism to become a legal offense in multiple EU countries. This move, as some analysts have observed, could divert Europe's attention away from the Euro Crisis and refocus the attention on Russia, which is, according to EU opinion polls conducted by Irish President Michael D. Higgins over the past two decades, both very sexist and sexy.
NSA leaker Edward Snowden was reached for comment on the proposed US legislation, but he declined, explaining that he was done with the political theater and now devoting his energies to the Catalan separatist project of building memorials to Korean "comfort women" in Australia.
Yesterday at the Kremlin, Russian President Putin, during his lavish wedding to an Iraqi child bride, was also reached for comment on the proposed US legislation, saying that President Obama was, quote, "a faggot" for opposing it and the Greek neo-Nazi Golden Dawn Party.
With gay marriage recently legalized in England and Wales, Prime Minister David Cameron spoke to a press conference yesterday in London, announcing his opposition to any such bill introduced to Parliament and standing firmly united with President Obama against Russian homophobia. Cameron also announced legislation to combat Putin's clandestine initiative to 'Islamise' secular UK schools.
-- A person severely inebriated on powdered alcohol contributed to this report.
French Cops ask for Russian Homophobia to be legal in the US
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Originally Posted by Lord Oda Nobunaga
The short answer? Yes. 
ing love the french (even though they hate me)
