If corporations were evil, what would be their new slogans?

[Roma_Victrix]

Well, by evil I mean more evil than they already are.

So what would be their new slogans, based on their well-known slogans, market niche, customers, and history of behavior?

I'll suggest a few:

McDonalds --> Go ahead, I DARE YOU to touch the Ronald McDonald statue.

Bank of America --> YOU. It's our money now.

GE --> Go ahead, plug it in to the socket, I DARE YOU.

IKEA --> The customer is always wrong, !

Macintosh --> You should have read the licensing agreement. Now you are our slave. To the laboratory with you!

Microsoft --> You think what happened to that guy in Tron was bad? Wait until you see what we have in store for you, mother er.

[Ciciro]

IHOP - Come hungry, leave without your kidney.

[Sir Adrian]

EA - Too late, already got your money.

[Lord Oda Nobunaga]

Morir es vivir

[Roma_Victrix]

IHOP - Come hungry, leave without your kidney.

An instant classic; +1 rep.

[Roma_Victrix]

EA - Too late, already got your money.

"This has been really educational and all, but now let's part with that old EA Sports saying...GET THE OUT OF MY BUILDING!"

[Ferdiad]

EA Sports isn't even the bad part of the company. FIFA games are pretty good.

[Sir Adrian]

Fifa games are the only good thing made by EA sports. Madden is , Nba live is pretty crappy too, Fifa manager was so bad they cancelled it.

[Ferdiad]

Ya but Football Manager has that market cornered so there was no real loss.

[Roma_Victrix]

Nike --> Just do it. And by "it" I mean enslave little brown children in our shoe factories.



AT&T --> LOL. You think you have freedom of choice?

Safeway Inc. --> The only safe way for you to ensure that we let you live, is if you prove your loyalty by not shopping at Kroger. Or God forbid, Food Lion!

Walmart --> Come here, small businesses, I just want to be your friend! Don't you trust me?

[Stavroforos]

No evil motto required.

[Lord Oda Nobunaga]

We use sweat shops and we don't give a , we know you don't either and we're that sure that you are so needy that you will still buy our product.

[Sir Winston Churchill]

Verizon: You don't need food when you have an iPhone.

[Derpy Hooves]

​mfw people acknowledge the evilness of EA but still buy their games

[Lord Oda Nobunaga]

CIBC Bank: because paying us back is more important than buying food.

[IZob]

Australian Daily Telegraph - "We're for Rupert Murdoch".





(FYI they are technically already evil and their actual slogan is: "We're for Sydney".).

[Thorn777]

Goldman Sachs - Doing Godswork

[sabaku_no_gaara]

"This has been really educational and all, but now let's part with that old EA Sports saying...GET THE OUT OF MY BUILDING!"

there's an EA episode of South Park? Please tell me which one

Nike --> Just do it. And by "it" I mean enslave little brown children in our shoe factories.



AT&T --> LOL. You think you have freedom of choice?

Safeway Inc. --> The only safe way for you to ensure that we let you live, is if you prove your loyalty by not shopping at Kroger. Or God forbid, Food Lion!

Walmart --> Come here, small businesses, I just want to be your friend! Don't you trust me?

Food Lion, that name sounds so weird, considering the real name of that chain of stores is: Delhaize

I hear they are quite big overseas in the states?

[Roma_Victrix]

Australian Daily Telegraph - "We're for Rupert Murdoch".





(FYI they are technically already evil and their actual slogan is: "We're for Sydney".).

To that we can add Rupert Murdoch's Fox News: --> "Only the faithful shall be saved...only...the viewers of Fox News."

Goldman Sachs - Doing Godswork

Or you could go this route: Goldman Sachs - "We've got sacks of gold, man, and we're certainly not sharing the proceeds with you, !"

Also, Goldman Sachs: "Sad day for you, head. We've got your money."

there's an EA episode of South Park? Please tell me which one

It's from episode #5 of Season 15 (aired back in 2011), entitled "Crack Baby Athletic Association." Fantastic episode, one of the better episodes from the newer seasons.

Food Lion, that name sounds so weird, considering the real name of that chain of stores is: Delhaize

I hear they are quite big overseas in the states?

Food Lion is certainly big, but not as big as Kroger and Safeway, who have a bigger share of the market / greater number of grocery stores throughout the US.

Living in Northern Ireland, I've had to get used to Spar, Centra, and Tesco instead.

[Lord Oda Nobunaga]

Goldman Sachs: "Give us your sack and we'll give you back your paper"