Helios II: Promotional Issue
That incredibly sexy publication known as the Helios has risen anew like a phoenix from the ashes of something or other, and this time it’s even sexier, without even visiting the plastic surgeon. The Helios has a new editor, Justinian, who refers to himself continually throughout this article in the third person, but hold back your weeping and gnashing of teeth for now — much of the team still remains, like that incredibly masculine fellow King Henry V and sex T-Rex Gaius Baltar. I have even enlisted the legendary Siblesz to write us articles, but you’ll never know when they’ll appear ... so you’ll just have to read every article to find out which one features his deep thought, orgasmic philosophy and, well, steamy prose.
The first step in the new Helios is new people. If you want to join the Helios, send me a PM as fast as your feverish fingers can furiously force the fateful message to my fabulous inbox (say that ten times fast and someone will tell you to stop cursing). But don’t type too fast, we don’t want anyone getting carpal tunnel syndrome (it reduces productivity by 25% and the hive mother/father/pimp will have nothing of that).
We need reporters for:
- Thema Devia
- Politics
- Religion
- Sports
- Curial News
And pretty much everything else that could possibly be fit into a newspaper. What are you waiting for? Sign up now, for fame, glory and free beer, not that I have any.
- Justinian
TWC Content Manager and Helios Editor