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Thread: Helios II: Promo Issue

  1. #1

    Default Helios II: Promo Issue



    Helios II: Promotional Issue

    That incredibly sexy publication known as the Helios has risen anew like a phoenix from the ashes of something or other, and this time it’s even sexier, without even visiting the plastic surgeon. The Helios has a new editor, Justinian, who refers to himself continually throughout this article in the third person, but hold back your weeping and gnashing of teeth for now — much of the team still remains, like that incredibly masculine fellow King Henry V and sex T-Rex Gaius Baltar. I have even enlisted the legendary Siblesz to write us articles, but you’ll never know when they’ll appear ... so you’ll just have to read every article to find out which one features his deep thought, orgasmic philosophy and, well, steamy prose.

    The first step in the new Helios is new people. If you want to join the Helios, send me a PM as fast as your feverish fingers can furiously force the fateful message to my fabulous inbox (say that ten times fast and someone will tell you to stop cursing). But don’t type too fast, we don’t want anyone getting carpal tunnel syndrome (it reduces productivity by 25% and the hive mother/father/pimp will have nothing of that).

    We need reporters for:

    • Thema Devia
    • Politics
    • Religion
    • Sports
    • Curial News


    And pretty much everything else that could possibly be fit into a newspaper. What are you waiting for? Sign up now, for fame, glory and free beer, not that I have any.

    - Justinian
    TWC Content Manager and Helios Editor

    Patron of Felixion, Ulyaoth, Reidy, Ran Taro and Darth Red
    Co-Founder of the House of Caesars


  2. #2

    Default Re: Helios II: Promo Issue

    Yeah!
    “"The robber of your free will," writes Epictetus, "does not exist”
    .

  3. #3
    Mr Tuna's Avatar Senator
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    Default Re: Helios II: Promo Issue

    And that means ???
    Drinking does to life what turning the radio up does to a car's engine problems.

    -TnC

  4. #4

    Default Re: Helios II: Promo Issue

    That means, if you can write news, interview people and entertain our delicious, I mean, wonderful ... beautiful ... intelligent ... erm ... gracious, there we go, our gracious viewers, send me a PM.

    Patron of Felixion, Ulyaoth, Reidy, Ran Taro and Darth Red
    Co-Founder of the House of Caesars


  5. #5
    Omnipotent-Q's Avatar All Powerful Q
    Content Emeritus Administrator Emeritus

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    Default Re: Helios II: Promo Issue

    Helios changes sound good, but where the feck is my beer!!!??

    Under the patronage of the Legendary Urbanis Legio - Mr Necrobrit of the Great House of Wild Bill Kelso. Honoured to have sponsored these great warriors for Citizenship - Joffrey Baratheon, General Brittanicus, SonOfOdin, Hobbes., Lionheartx10, Mangerman, Gen. Chris and PikeStance.

  6. #6
    Libertine's Avatar Neptune eats planets
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    Default Re: Helios II: Promo Issue

    sounds funky dory.

    i keep on wanting to help but i dont know what i would do
    Heir of Kscott
    Proud Patron of the lost Fable and Proud Patron of God
    Spurs Fan?
    Member of the SG Fan Club
    Finland had unusually little to do with the whole New World gig. - Watchman

    Helios News Monkey
    Knight of the Lulz

  7. #7
    Evariste's Avatar We are one, we are many
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    Default Re: Helios II: Promo Issue

    The Helios used to be the highlight of my day at TWC. I can't wait to see what else you guys have in store for us!

    Come on potential reporters, it's The Helios, not some high school news paper, for god's sake! Sign up already!

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