The Early Modern English Only Thread

[Roma_Victrix]

Hail to ye, gentlemen and ladies of this electronic establishment of discourse concerning simulations of warfare on computational contraptions for the purpose of recreation and merriment.



For the very purpose of this my original post shall now be revealed to thee. On this day, the twentieth of November, in the year of our lord MMXIII, I shall establish here an open scroll for all members of our dearest public forum to maketh contributions in the written hand. Thou shalt originate discussion of any subject matter that pleaseth thee, and I shall go to great pains in addressing thee with clever riposte and proper reply.

So without further ado, thou shalt commence a dialogue of worth!

Might I posit a few suggestions for topics of discourse:

* Recent events concerning the political realm and the advancement of the sciences
* Analytical observation of the fine arts
* The methods of approaching ladies who possess posteriors most pleasing to thine eye
* Electronic games of warfare published and put forth into great circulation by the East India Creative Assembly Company
* The economic woes of nations following the crises that hath transpired in the year of our lord MMVIII

[mishkin]

Might I posit a few suggestions for topics of discourse:

* Recent events concerning the political realm and the advancement of the sciences
* Analytical observation of the fine arts
* The methods of approaching ladies who possess posteriors most pleasing to thine eye
* Electronic games of warfare published and put forth into great circulation by the East India Creative Assembly Company
* The economic woes of nations following the crises that hath transpired in the year of our lord MMVIII

* Kim Kardashian?

[Roma_Victrix]

If it pleaseth thee, we shall first discuss the lady thespian and socialite known as Kim Kardashian, whose bosom and buttocks need not be a matter for debate, but her talents - whether they existeth or not - shall now be explored!

[Lord Oda Nobunaga]

I canst speaketh thine olde tongue for it is not in mine vocabulary.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EyS3weMlxLA
But me thinks perchance that hither prose may be adapted to RAP. If RAP hath been adapted to Olde Aenglish prose, why dost the creative minds not maketh the opposite.

[Roma_Victrix]

My Japanophile Canadian friend of Latino persuasion, this would make a most profoundly brilliant endeavor indeed! Canst that raucous brand of music known to youths as Hip Hoppery adapteth itself cleverly to spew forth from a creative font the ballads of Notre Dame?

[Lord Oda Nobunaga]

She be ruining my swagger!
This be using hos and !
Why she make me trippin?
I see her all the time
like if she was strippin'

Like a heater!
Oh hail naw!
I be burning like a joint!
Inside me like LSDs!
My skin on fire,
Making me a blower like if I was trippin' !

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

[Bo1Bo1Sha3]

nvm edit out

[Roma_Victrix]

@Lord Oda Nobunaga, a most adept attempt at converting Judge Claude Frollo's song into thine modern Hip Hoppery, and in pithy fashion I might add!

@Bo1Bo1Sha3, what is this novel new acronym thou speakest of here, formed by the letters N and V followed by M? Do pardon my lack of comprehension, for I am unmindful of the latest advancements in linguistics!

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

[Bo1Bo1Sha3]

This is the correct place to post my message to the English masses!
Good Evening fellow mannen of English within thee Twcenter. And to all others listening in, please sit yeselves on the side and listen in as you may learn something, but this is mostly for my fellow English borne friends so leave if thou wanteth. Are you sipping your hot cups of neweth world coco? Then let me begin. Ik suppose you're wondering why I've summoned you this here afternoon. Well, I'm disappointed with thy performance. I'm afraid thy work's been slipping, and...and well, I'm afraid I've though of banishing our entire heritage to the stygian depths.
"Wah?? Whas dis?" the folk ask in empty staring.

Ahh, Ik remember: "Start talking and be creative," I said smiling like father knoweth best. "Let's do this." Well, we've certainly come a long way since then, haven’t we? And yea, yea, you're right, in all that time ye haven’t missed a day. Well done, ye good and faithful bretheren. Also please don't think I've forgotten about your out-standing service record, or about all of the invaluable contributions that you've made to the company... Phrasal verbe, animal group names, the saxon genitive ...Hit's a decent list, bretheren. It's real good, so don't get me wrong.

But our predicament Knowest you wherefrom I think such of hit stems? I'll tell thee... It's thine ignorance, thine unwillingness to heet forth greater expression and sooth creative. Ye don't seem to want to face up to any such. Lord knoweth, you've been given plenty of opportunities...We've offered you promotion time and time again, and each time you've said no: "We shouldn't be cool with philosophical tonsa stuff like Deits, man" Ye grunted. "Ya, screw all the stuff we could do" again ye grunted. Where did OUR mother tongue go wrong?

To be frank, ye don't care, do ye? Ye see, you've been tearing away at peasants level work and it's starting to show... And Ik mightest add, it's also in thy verbal capabilities. Then of course there's... Hmmmm. Well, Ik really wanteth not to have to bringeth this up, but...Well, ye see Ik've been hearing some disturbing rumors about thine IQ as a collective folke, my fellow Americans and Brits. Ik can forgive the others. They're, their, there, two, to, and too are unforgivable mistakes wheneth confused.

And what of oure pride? What's to do? And hit's no good blaming the drop in work standards upon bad management, either... Though, to be sure, the management is infernal. We've had a riverspan of Normans, Vikings, cometh. That is so! But who let hem do this? It was Ye! While I'll admit we all mess up, this is just annoying, to go on staying in the mud after falling in seems to me nothing short of devilry! Well, why can't we handle the being correct and complex?

Ye have accepted without question that it is what it is. All You had to say was "I'll be strong enough to impress and bring joy to my leed." Thou hast no bravery. Thou hast no pride. I will, however, give a last chance. You will be granted two yearhundred spans to show me improvement in the tungue used by thou. If at the end of that time you are still unwilling to make a go of hit... Then I shall becometh cross. But what I'll do, I know not.

-Me (cuz hit rhymes with V, get hit?)

[Vissewalde rex de Gerzika]

^Tl;dr, also, this one is great

[Vaðarholmr]

Hƿarfore arn ƿe nat alloued to ƿriten in þe schene Middle Englishe londspreche?

Fine. I ſhall to the rether boring early moderne Engliſh.

[Gatsby]

Thine jolly efforts at reproducing th' manner of speech thou discusseth dost rekindle my memorie of my academic studies o' th' venerable William Shakespeare.

[Roma_Victrix]

Hƿarfore arn ƿe nat alloued to ƿriten in þe schene Middle Englishe londspreche?

Fine. I ſhall to the rether boring early moderne Engliſh.

It would be most impudent, and might I add dangerous to my very person, to deny a lady of royal stature - a princess such as thyself - to speaketh in the manner she deemeth worthy! So, by all means, Princess Luna, speakest in Middle English here if it pleaseth thee!

Thine jolly efforts at reproducing th' manner of speech thou discusseth dost rekindle my memorie of my academic studies o' th' venerable William Shakespeare.

Please do remind my dearest friend and customer William that he oweth me eighty shillings for loaning him costumes for his gaudy stage performances. I do with great fear believe Shakespeare to be a better playwright than a mindful man committed to the repayment of coin!

[Sir Adrian]

Verily, it would be most apparent to any humble spectator not of of this place and foreign in thought and language that the fates were so inclineth to fill this threadeth of thine with many blessings of victory and triumph in regards to both ye musings and fine quality of its participants, for truly few other such gatherings standeth its equal in either aspect.

[Gatsby]

Please do remind my dearest friend and customer William that he oweth me eighty shillings for loaning him costumes for his gaudy stage performances. I do with great fear believe Shakespeare to be a better playwright than a mindful man committed to the repayment of coin!

William hath instructed me to communicate that he dost proclaim you a "flower-headed knave", and that he bites his thumb at you. He implores you to "cometh toward myself, brother".

[Sir Adrian]

Be of noble stature and urge William to rescind his declaration for verily such a confrontation can lead none to honor, only to the consumption of one's own headwear.

[Roma_Victrix]

Verily, it would be most apparent to any humble spectator not of of this place and foreign in thought and language that the fates were so inclineth to fill this threadeth of thine with many blessings of victory and triumph in regards to both ye musings and fine quality of its participants, for truly few other such gatherings standeth its equal in either aspect.

Aye, it is with great joy and exultation that I concur withe thine post. I tip my hat to thee!

William hath instructed me to communicate that he dost proclaim you a "flower-headed knave", and that he bites his thumb at you. He implores you to "cometh toward myself, brother".

I dare say that I canst hardly believe nary an assertion thou hast posited here, for William, known by many for such temperance and mild manner, is hardly the fellow to rant at me so. Certainly he quibbleth not over eighty shillings, for his dramatic productions set on stage produceth such a flow of revenue for his theater that surely his pockets swell large enough to remembereth his dues. The fellow strikes me as the kind to burn the candle at both ends, so perhaps the issue slipped his mind.

But if thy story be true and William Shakespeare desireth to exchange blows, let the scoundrel know that I do not quiver and fly from a fight! And if he be inclineth to settle the matter with blades, then let him draweth the first sword. I fear his career as playwright for our fair city shall to an end!

[Nesimî]

Was William not harrassed occasionally by London's finest, for a conspicuous lack of costumes in his theatrical performances? I hath said to him many a time: "If though wishest to appear in thine own plays, by God, do not neglect to don your leggings!" Foolish cur, talented as he was, never quick to recognize sense where he saw it. Perhaps that is why so many of his plays doth contain obscenity. His sight mayhaps was impaired.

[Vaðarholmr]

Alas, it appears quite few of you actually get the grammar for the forms correct.

It's:

First Person

• I-me-my/mine (am)
• We-us-our (are)

Second person

• Thou-thee-thy/thine (art)
• Ye-you-your (are)

Third person

• He/she/it-him/her/it-his/her/its (is)
• They-them-their (are)

Ye-You is used when speaking formally to 1 or more person. Thou-Thee can be used informally or when insulting "I thou thee thou scoundrel!"

When thou usest the second person singular, remember to use the correct ending.

"I see" "thou seest" "he/she/it seeth" "we see" "ye see" "they see"
"I saw" "thou sawest" "he/she/it saw" "we saw" "ye saw" "they saw"

-

Now to your enjoyment; 'tis a part of the Canterbury tales.

Canterbury tales

43: A knyght ther was, and that a worthy man, 44: That fro the tyme that he first bigan 45: To riden out, he loved chivalrie, 46: Trouthe and honour, fredom and curteisie. 47: Ful worthy was he in his lordes werre, 48: And therto hadde he riden, no man ferre, 49: As wel in cristendom as in hethenesse, 50: And evere honoured for his worthynesse. 51: At alisaundre he was whan it was wonne. 52: Ful ofte tyme he hadde the bord bigonne 53: Aboven alle nacions in pruce; 54: In lettow hadde he reysed and in ruce, 55: No cristen man so ofte of his degree. 56: In gernade at the seege eek hadde he be 57: Of algezir, and riden in belmarye. 58: At lyeys was he and at satalye, 59: Whan they were wonne; and in the grete see 60: At many a noble armee hadde he be. 61: At mortal batailles hadde he been fiftene, 62: And foughten for oure feith at tramyssene 63: In lystes thries, and ay slayn his foo. 64: This ilke worthy knyght hadde been also 65: Somtyme with the lord of palatye 66: Agayn another hethen in turkye. 67: And everemoore he hadde a sovereyn prys; 68: And though that he were worthy, he was wys, 69: And of his port as meeke as is a mayde. 70: He nevere yet no vileynye ne sayde 71: In al his lyf unto no maner wight. 72: He was a verray, parfit gentil knyght. 73: But, for to tellen yow of his array, 74: His hors were goode, but he was nat gay.

I must say I find it quite interesting to read.

[Lord Oda Nobunaga]

Who be this William? Be he the knave that wandereth the street corners and solicits coin for his consumption of the Rhenish flavours, in a most ambulatory manner?