England AAR

[The_Judge]

I have just started a campaign with England. I want to make an AAR, but to give the story a more authentic character, I would like to use a few non-English words. To be sure everyone can follow, I will put an English translation at the bottom of every (small) chapter. I hope you will enjoy it, although it is not meant to be flashy.

Purely technical information:
* ChivTW version 1.07
* RTW version 1.5
* modifications: changed faction colors and no province borders on the mini map
* unit size: large


Chapter One: Le Roi est mort; vive le Roi! [1]

Guillaume le Conquérant [2] did not like what he saw: the north of England was treatened by Welsh and Scottish troops, the French king showed too much ambition to be blindly trust, the economy was ruined and the treasury was almost empty.
After many sleepless nights he decided to do what nobody would expect him to do: to order his oldest son to commit treason and to attack the so-called ally in the south.

The first city to be besieged was Paris, the French capital and the residence of le Roi Philippe Capet [3].
In a ferocious battle the young king killed many Norman soldiers, but eventually lost his own life, leaving his country in despair.
His even younger brother became the new king, although he would never be coronated at la cathédrale Notre-Dame de Reims [4].


[1] The (old) King is dead; long live the (new) King!
[2] William the Conqueror
[3] King Philip I of France
[4] the Cathedral of Notre-Dame of Reims

[The_Judge]

Extra historical information is included between parentheses.


Chapter Two: Hon(n)i soit qui mal y pense! [5]

Guillaume le Conquérant [*] suddenly realised he wasn’t the best chess player in the world.
By conquering Paris he had created a common border with the Holy Roman Empire, an ally of France.
His only chance to survive this terrible mistake, was to destroy the French economy (and military) as soon as possible.
At that moment he could not afford to attack Reims, as this would have created an even larger border with the French ally.
Sacking the distant and well guarded city of Clermont would make no sense at all.
He chose to siege the rich city of Poitiers, known for its harbour to northern Spain (the Castilian cities of Leon and Burgos) and its mineral mines.

After the capture of Poitiers, the Norman troops sacked Angers.
During the bloody siege of Angers, le Roi Hugues Capet [6] was slain by Norman and Flemish mercenaries.


[5] Shame be to him who thinks evil of it! (King Edward III of England, founder of the English chivalric Order of the Garter)
[6] King Hugh II of France (fictitious numbering because in real life he would never become king; King Hugh I of France was the founder of the Capet dynasty and the only French king called Hugh)

[The_Judge]

Two screenshots of the current mini map are added.


Chapter Three: Un roi, une loi, une foi! [7]

Very alarming storries were told about Guillaume le Conquérant [*] ‘s oldest son.
Corruption and heresy would be his second and third name…
Robert of Normandy received the instruction to personally take care of the siege of Reims, the new capital of France since the fall of Paris.
If the Normans were victorious, the English king would win. If his oldest son died, the English king would win also.

The preparations for the siege took a very long time and the battle itself was as gory as the siege of Angers.
Le Roi Robert Capet [8] proved to be a very good commander, but he is said to be killed by Robert of Normandy himself.

Immediately after the fall of Reims, Guillaume le Conquérant [*] was crowned king of France at la cathédrale Notre-Dame de Reims [*].
From this day on he was going to rule England and almost the entire northern part of modern day France.
The Occitanes, the inhabitants of the last remaining French city of Clermont, declared their independence before the already nearing Burgunder were able to siege their city.


[7] One king, one law, one faith! (Regentess Catherine de’ Medici of France, promulgated the Decree of Saint-Germain concerning the Huguenots)
[8] King Robert III of France (fictitious numbering because in real life he would never become king; King Robert II of France was the son and successor of King Hugh I of France)

[The_Judge]

A screenshot of the current mini map is added.


Chapter Four: Dieu le veut! [9]

Guillaume le Conquérant [*] thought his emissary had gone mad.
Could the independent cities of Geneva and Toulouse really be that weakly defended as the emissary wanted him to believe?
They were and during the siege of Geneva – as an act of God – several trees and pieces of grass refused to comply with the laws of gravity [10].

The sack of Toulouse, on the other hand, was a matter of family honor.
William IV of Toulouse, Count of Toulouse, Margrave of Provence and Duke of Narbonne, was married to Emma of Mortain, Guillaume le Conquérant [*] ‘s niece.
In normal circumstances the Normans would have had no reason to attack Toulouse, but at that moment the city was controlled by a powerful usurper.
Rene de Toulouse’s troops managed to kill 1.2 Normans each, before they met their Saviour.


[9] God wills it! (sentence used during the Crusades)
[10] nota bene: this is not a joke at all, it is a flaw in the mod (no offense intended)

[The_Judge]

Chapter Five: Il n’y a plus de Pyrénées! [11]

After the fall of Toulouse, Robert of Normandy’s bloodthirst was not over yet.
He noticed the city of Barcelona to be much less defended than the capitol of Aragon.
By taking advantage of it, he created a new and strong enemy in the south.

After this act of stupidity, he was ordered to retreat to Poitiers, where troops were mobilized in order to face multiple stacks of independents.

[11] The Pyrenees have ceased to exist! (King Louis XIV of France, when his grandson became King Philip V of Spain)

[The_Judge]

Chapter Six: Et pour les Flamands la même chose! [12]

The first large scale battle took place near the city of Fougeres, where the bulk of the English continental army was cowardly attacked in the back.
One enemy cavalry unit pierced the Norman shield wall, causing the archers and crossbowmen to panic.
The tactical reserve reacted too slowly and many lives were lost.
The Norman cavalry was sent to the rescue and solved the problem.
In the end not a single soldier of the independents managed to escape the slaughter that followed.

On the other side of the Channel, the British Isles army fought (and won) an uphill battle against the pesky Welshmen who could not stop maneuvering.
The subsequent siege of Aberffraw was decided on the donjon slope.

Then came the most feared battle since the start of the campaign: the field battle near the city of Gent.
The Flemish brought more archers and more crossbowmen to the fight.
The Norman shield wall was maintained, but the English archer and crossbow units fell like flies.
When the Flemish eventually started their mass rout, the English were already too tired and too few in number to kill them all.


[12] And for the Flemish the same! (sentence used during World War I; 60% of the Belgians speak the Flemish variant of Dutch, only 40% speak French)

[The_Judge]

A screenshot of the current mini map is added.


Chapter Seven: Je maintiendrai! [13]

The battlefield near the city of Utrecht was billiards flat and that made Wenzel Merode overconfident.
Without any support of his own troops, he tried to attack the English crossbowmen.
His unexpected death caused a massive attack that almost pierced the Norman shield wall.
When the first independent soldiers started to rout, they were followed by the English cavalry, causing their entire left wing to desintegrate.
Only a few minutes before the end of the battle, the enemy right wing collapsed.

Immediately after the battle, Robert of Normandy was ordered to go back to central France.
Year after year the independent full stacks near Bordeaux and Clermont had made Guillaume le Conquérant [*] look like a fool.
Their bare existence was an insult.


[13] I will maintain! (Prince William I of Orange)

[The_Judge]

Two screenshots of the current mini map and the siege of Clermont are added.


Chapter Eight: Le Massacre du Tympan! [14]

The city of Clermont was taken in two stages.
First there was a field battle near and inside a small forest west of Clermont.
The English cavalry destroyed most independent archers and crossbowmen… and then seemed to leave the battlefield without any reason.
The two infantry lines collided and many men lost their lives.
Only one enemy unit noticed the danger: the English cavalry came back trough the small forest in the back of the independents, causing a mass rout in all possible directions.

This field battle was followed by the first full stack siege since the start of the continental campaign.
All available infantrymen were sent to the well defended city of Clermont.
The walls were breached at three different places, but only the northern troops managed to pass the defenders.
Rains of arrows poured down on the English infantry until the enemy archers and crossbowmen were all slain.
Eventually the defenders retreated to the town center where they all met their Lord.


[14] The Massacre of the Eardrum! (said about Igor Stravinsky’s Le Sacre du Printemps, The Rite of Spring)

[The_Judge]

One screenshot of the current mini map is added.


Chapter Nine: Rien ne va plus! [15]

Instead of going back to Poitiers, Robert of Normandy chose to attack an independent army stationed at the border.
In a very atypical field battle, two infantry lines without significant support from archers, crossbowmen or cavalry engaged.
For no known reason, the independents broke up their line and signed their death sentence.

Being a smartass, Robert of Normandy pushed forward and attacked an even bigger independent army near the city of Bordeaux… and a second independent army showed up.
At least five units routed and the rest of the continental army was almost annihilated.
Eventually the battle was won, but Bordeaux could not be taken before summer [16].
Both Castile and Aragon claimed to be the rightful owners of the city and asked the Pope to settle the dispute.

A little later Robert of Normandy made another mistake and managed to let escape the future Aragonese faction heir in the field battle near Huesca.
Eventually four breaches were needed to take Huesca and to destroy the kingdom of Aragon once and for all.
Without any hesitation Guillaume le Conquérant [*] accepted the crown of Aragon.

On the British Isles things also started to run a little more smoothly.
Guillaume le Conquérant [*] sacrificed more than half of his army in order to beat two independent full stacks in the Scottish forests and to sack the not that well defended cities of Edinburgh and Stirling.


[15] No further bets! (sentence used at the casino)
[16] nota bene: this is not a joke at all, it was not even possible to take the city with a newly recruited mercenary unit, it is a flaw in the mod (no offense intended)