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Thread: The dyslexic proverbs game - let's have some fun!

  1. #1
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar Gatorade, is it in you?
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    Icon6 The dyslexic proverbs game - let's have some fun!

    Not to disparage the real people who actually suffer from dyslexia, which is a serious disorder that is no laughing matter, but I thought it would be fun to start a thread where anyone can posit their own altered, modified, corrupted, or otherwise bastardized versions of common or popular sayings, phrases, proverbs, etc. for our warped amusement.

    Clever suggestions will most certainly gain for you a +1 rep. I'll be happy to hand those out. However, incoherent chaotic rambling for the sake of incoherent chaotic rambling is also welcome.

    For example: A doctor a day will keep the apples away.

    A women's place is on my lap.

    All things come to those who hate.

    Behind every great man there is a gay one.

    Beware of Greeks bearing bears.

    Etc., etc., etc.

    You can make these as crazy as you want, but only the really clever ones will be given rep!

  2. #2
    Gatsby's Avatar Punctual Romantic
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    Default Re: The dyslexic proverbs game - let's have some fun!

    Seize the pay.
    You'll have more fun at a Glasgow stabbing than an Edinburgh wedding.

    Under the patronage of the mighty Dante von Hespburg

  3. #3
    Settra's Avatar the Imperishable
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    Default Re: The dyslexic proverbs game - let's have some fun!

    A bird in the hand is worth glue on the bush.
    Under the patronage of Squid Girl. I am here, click me!



  4. #4

    Default Re: The dyslexic proverbs game - let's have some fun!

    I saw, I conquered, I came.
    Eats, shoots, and leaves.

  5. #5
    Legio_Italica's Avatar Lost in Limbo
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    Default Re: The dyslexic proverbs game - let's have some fun!

    Abstinence makes the Church grow fondlers.

    Don't throw the bath water out with the baby

    Never put off today what you can do tomorrow

    Iffy language, but hey, points for originality and guts eh?
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    too many cocks spoils the brothel

  6. #6

    Default Re: The dyslexic proverbs game - let's have some fun!

    Anonymouse - the Furred Furry Fury, defender of internet freedom and hacktivists.

    Eats, shoots, and leaves.

  7. #7
    Lord Oda Nobunaga's Avatar 大信皇帝
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    Default Re: The dyslexic proverbs game - let's have some fun!

    Two prongs don't make it right.

    The penis; mightier than the sword.

    No man is the Isle of Man.

    Fortune favours the bald.

    Never look a gifted whore in the mouth.

    "Famous general without peer in any age, most superior in valor and inspired by the Way of Heaven; since the provinces are now subject to your will it is certain that you will increasingly mount in victory." - Ōgimachi-tennō

  8. #8
    Bo1Bo1Sha3's Avatar Ordinarius
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    Default Re: The dyslexic proverbs game - let's have some fun!

    Q. Why do dreams never come true?
    A. Too much to drink on drunken night is saltier than seventy saltine sacks.

    OK seriously:

    Stupid is as stupid as stupid as stupid is as stupid does.

    Hate your neighbors and love your enemies; and pray for those who persecute you.
    "牛鬼蛇神的文字" by Fu Sinian on Chinese characters.
    ("A Cow Demon and Snake God's Writing System")

    "汉字不灭,中国必亡" Lu Xun also on Chinese characters.
    ("If Chinese Characters don't die, China will perish")

  9. #9

    Default Re: The dyslexic proverbs game - let's have some fun!

    A stool that is runny is soon farted.

    (I typed this out whilst in the midst of a chunk of half-melted chocolate. Joke's on me. And my computer screen.)

  10. #10
    Acco's Avatar Дијана
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    Default Re: The dyslexic proverbs game - let's have some fun!

    This thread has potential.

    Beware of Greek-bearing lifts.
    На Запад масивно сиви облаци
    Од Исток сонце и вистина излези
    Macedonia

  11. #11
    Lord Oda Nobunaga's Avatar 大信皇帝
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    Default Re: The dyslexic proverbs game - let's have some fun!

    When I read that I swear it said "Beware of Greek-loving bears".

    "Famous general without peer in any age, most superior in valor and inspired by the Way of Heaven; since the provinces are now subject to your will it is certain that you will increasingly mount in victory." - Ōgimachi-tennō

  12. #12
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar Gatorade, is it in you?
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    Default Re: The dyslexic proverbs game - let's have some fun!

    Excellent work, gentlemen! I'm loving the twisted maxims thus far. Feel free to step up the craziness and depravity if you're into that sort of thing.

    http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/Confucius/

    Here are some sayings by Confucius, or Kong Fuzi, the philosopher of paramount importance to the Chinese. Too soon to defame him? Let's give it a try! Confucius says:

    Forget kindnesses, never forget injuries.

    The superior man seeks the small man in himself.

    When anger arises, think of revenge.

    When we see men of contrary character, we should look outward and never examine ourselves. Don't argue with me on that.

    He who speaks without modesty speaks awesomely.

  13. #13
    Bo1Bo1Sha3's Avatar Ordinarius
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    Default Re: The dyslexic proverbs game - let's have some fun!

    The old man the boat, down the tree and the man ran shops never opened.

    Garden-paths sentences!
    "牛鬼蛇神的文字" by Fu Sinian on Chinese characters.
    ("A Cow Demon and Snake God's Writing System")

    "汉字不灭,中国必亡" Lu Xun also on Chinese characters.
    ("If Chinese Characters don't die, China will perish")

  14. #14
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar Gatorade, is it in you?
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    Default Re: The dyslexic proverbs game - let's have some fun!

    To poke a little fun at the Bible:

    Depart from good and do evil.

    Or how about: two wrongs make it so right. Ooh, yeah...

  15. #15

    Default Re: The dyslexic proverbs game - let's have some fun!

    Eats, shoots, and leaves.

  16. #16
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar Gatorade, is it in you?
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    Default Re: The dyslexic proverbs game - let's have some fun!

    Nice one, Condottiere, albeit a wee bit racist.

    Here's one: all your us are belong to base.

  17. #17
    Ferdiad's Avatar Patricius
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    Default Re: The dyslexic proverbs game - let's have some fun!

    Channelling Xbox live isn't good for your health.

  18. #18
    Roma_Victrix's Avatar Gatorade, is it in you?
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    Default Re: The dyslexic proverbs game - let's have some fun!

    Late to bed, late to rise, makes a man strong, healthy, and into guys.

    I don't know what it is about gay homo humor, but the immature 13-year-old 8th-grader in me simply can't get enough. Sorry, homosexual people, for the wisecracks at your expense. Heard they got the right to marriage in France recently. Cheers to that, I suppose.

  19. #19
    LaMuerte's Avatar Senator
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    Default Re: The dyslexic proverbs game - let's have some fun!

    From Shakespeare : 'To be or not to be , that is a question'

    From Descartes : 'I think I am'

    From Caesar 'The cast is dyed'

  20. #20
    Lord Oda Nobunaga's Avatar 大信皇帝
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    Default Re: The dyslexic proverbs game - let's have some fun!

    Caesar: I came, I saw, I conquered

    Charles V: We came, We saw, God conquered

    Jan Sobieski: We came, We saw, God won us the victory

    This isn't really a dyslexic proverb but couldn't Jan Sobieski come up with anything new? Instead of plagiarizing from someone who already copied something.

    "Famous general without peer in any age, most superior in valor and inspired by the Way of Heaven; since the provinces are now subject to your will it is certain that you will increasingly mount in victory." - Ōgimachi-tennō

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