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Thread: [ETW] Georgia Still Hasn't Fallen? A Kingdom of Georgia AAR (Updated Feb. 2)

  1. #1
    Scottish King's Avatar Content Director
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    Default [ETW] Georgia Still Hasn't Fallen? A Kingdom of Georgia AAR (Updated Feb. 2)

    My first attempt at an Empire AAR with the minor faction Georgia, which I unlocked by modding the startpos file. This will be played on M/M. This meant to be amusing (though perhaps only to me), a departure from my usual so forgive me if its horrible (I know you will ). This be something I'll dabble with until I grow tired of it or run out of things to say. I hope you enjoy!

    Table of Contents 1700: Not the Best of Starting Positions
    1701-1703: Didn't See That Coming...
    1704-1706: Onward to Azerbai-what???

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    Scottish King's Avatar Content Director
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    Default Re: [ETW] Georgia Still Hasn't Fallen? A Kingdom of Georgia AAR

    1700: Not the Best of Starting Positions

    At the start of 1700, all is well for the kingdom of Georgia. Actually, that’s not true. Things are bad. How bad? For starters, all that makes up our kingdom is the city of Tbilisi.



    That may not seem so bad but then one realizes that Georgia is smack dab in the middle between the Ottoman Empire and the Russian Empire. Even so, that wouldn’t be so bad if we weren’t so weak and if they didn’t know exactly how weak.



    No matter though King Giorgi XI, is at hand to save the day.



    The only problem is that he hasn’t had the sense to put the right people in the right positions. For example, the three most important people in the Cabinet at this point are the Minister of State Valentines Kalogeraki, the Minister of the Treasury Konstantios Vandoulakis, and the Minister of the Army Kleanthis Menti. Yet Valentines is frugal and thrifty, just the person who should be treasurer. Konstantios is a tactician, a great trait for someone who should head the army department. Kleanthis is honest, better for the Head position or the Treasury. This is what you get when you promote favorites.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 






    Perhaps the situation could be salvaged diplomatically. A strong alliance should keep the other powers away. Who better than with Dagestan. This alliance will instill fear in the heart of the Ottomans and Russians.



    After signing the agreement, Konstantinos suggest more money inflow to fill the treasury. That means trade agreements with our arch-enemies: the Ottomans and Russians. Each received our diplomats and both to the Georgians surprise agreed. Perhaps they weren’t as bad as thought. Then just as our diplomats left:

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 



    How dare they!!! Angered by such disrespect, Giorgi summoned his general, Lazaros Kourtas.



    “Gather the troops and prepare to march! We will teach those blasted Russian and Ottomans a lesson they shall never forget!!!”

    “Um, sire…”

    “What is it?!”

    “Our army is a bit undersized but…”



    “But what!!! That’s it?! That’s all the men we have?!”

    “We have recruited a regiment of Provincial cavalry. That adds to our strength immensely. Where shall I Iead the men?"

    "Where to lead them? I don't believe this..."



    Giorgi immediately ordered fortifications to be built.



    By the end of the year, they were completed and Giorgi was content they were safe and well protected. No Russian or Ottoman could get through those walls. Imagine his surprise when he heard about a small invention called the cannon...

  3. #3
    Centurio
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    Default Re: [ETW] Georgia Still Hasn't Fallen? A Kingdom of Georgia AAR

    Nice start. I've played with Georgia one time. Russia and the Ottoman empire aren't the biggest threat's, as you might think. They are open for trade agreements and they are bussy with their own enemy's. The real threat is coming from Persia, as they are allied with the Mugals their only front is at your side and for some reason they rather invade you than the Ottoman empire. Keep an eye on them, because they are aggressive. I declared war on the Ottoman empire, but they did me almost no harm, but Persia kept me busy for almost 20 years, that's why I had to make an alliance with Russia, I couldn't risk war with them to XD


    But perhaps it's different for you Although I can garantee you that in the beginning you'll have to deal with Persia and that will be though


    Good luck, I'm looking forward to the next chapter

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    Scottish King's Avatar Content Director
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    Default Re: [ETW] Georgia Still Hasn't Fallen? A Kingdom of Georgia AAR

    1701-1703: Didn’t See That Coming…

    The year 1701 was a peaceful year with nothing happening except General Lazaros and Minister of the Army Kleanthis urging King Giorgi to wage war against the Ottomans.

    “Please, your majesty let me do this” exclaimed Lazaros.

    “Yes, your majesty,” chimed in Kleanthis, “let us fight the Ottomans. Do you know our motto?”

    “No,” replied the Giorgi clearly annoyed by their pleas. “What is it?”

    “Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night-”

    “That sounds oddly familiar…”

    The next year the king received some rather good news.

    “Sire, you are the father of a healthy baby boy.”



    “Well, um, tell the woman she will be well paid to keep this silent. We can’t let you-know-who find out about this.”

    “Um, sire, your wife has had the child.”

    “Oh…”

    However, the year would be darkened by death of the Head of State.



    The new Head of State, Petros Tsiari was better suited for the job anyway.



    It could not have happened at a better time. One day later, a Persian emissary arrived with a stern look on his face.

    “The Persian Empire has heard of the plenteous crops of rice and cotton plantations that grow on your fertile lands. We want them.”

    “What?!” declared Giorgi. “How dare you come here and…rice and cotton plantations?! We have no plantations here! You have got the wrong Georgia! The one you’re looking for is in America and they won’t be around for another thirty years!”

    “Do not try to trick us! Our seer’s visions are never wrong! And how do you know about a colony that does not yet exist?”

    “Well-”

    “If you will not give it to us then there shall be war!”



    Emissaries were immediately sent to Dagestan. When they came back Giorgi immediately met with Petros and Kleanthis.

    “So what did Dagestan say?”

    “They have agreed to join us,” said Petros. “They will build an army and sit back and watch as we fight.”

    “Why?”

    “Something to do with the A.I.”

    “Figures.”

    “Your majesty,” interjected Kleanthis, “the army is ready.”

    “Fine. Send Lazaros and his army.”

    The next year, 1703, the Georgian army consisting of the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th Tbilisi militia and the 1st and 2nd Horse set out for Persia with a big parade. Two weeks later they were back.

    “Lazaros, why are you back?” inquired an inpatient Giorgi. “I thought that neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night could stop you!?”

    “Well, your majesty you’re right, it didn’t. Two other armies did!”



    “If you don’t get your army back out there…”

    Lazaros’ retreat turned out to be a blessing in disguise as the new military encampment building allowed him access to new regiments of line infantry, the 1st and 2nd Tbilisi Regiment.



    With his new additions Lazaros led his men to battle against the Persians.



    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    “Equip your bayonets!” yelled Lazaros

    “We have no bayonets sir.”



    “Load the cannons!”

    “No cannons either.”

    “Then silence theirs!”



    “We are doing well! Push them back - 2nd Regiment where are you going!?”

    “Run! For your lives!!!!!”



    “Come back here-”

    “General look, our cavalry has killed the enemy general!”






    “Good, we’ll reward them with our best feed when we get back.”

    “Feed! That’s for horses!”

    “Who do you think did most of the work!”

    “Well, the enemy is on the run!”

    “Good! We’ll rest well tonight! As for the 2nd…”






    “..and the garrison here at Tbilisi dealt with the smaller army! All in all a great victory!”



    “Good, Kleanthis,” said Giorgi. “Now what punishment did Lazaros give to those cowards of the 2nd militia?”

    “Well…”

    “Come on! Out with it! Were they shot? Are they collecting seashells at the shore like Caligula had the Romans do? The cowards can’t still be on duty? I wouldn’t have those cowards on anything important. There are most likely to fail.”

    “They were sent here to protect at all cost the capital, sire.”

    “What!!!”

  5. #5
    Scottish King's Avatar Content Director
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    Default Re: [ETW] Georgia Still Hasn't Fallen? A Kingdom of Georgia AAR

    Quote Originally Posted by Swamidude View Post
    Nice start. I've played with Georgia one time. Russia and the Ottoman empire aren't the biggest threat's, as you might think. They are open for trade agreements and they are bussy with their own enemy's. The real threat is coming from Persia, as they are allied with the Mugals their only front is at your side and for some reason they rather invade you than the Ottoman empire. Keep an eye on them, because they are aggressive. I declared war on the Ottoman empire, but they did me almost no harm, but Persia kept me busy for almost 20 years, that's why I had to make an alliance with Russia, I couldn't risk war with them to XD


    But perhaps it's different for you Although I can garantee you that in the beginning you'll have to deal with Persia and that will be though


    Good luck, I'm looking forward to the next chapter
    Thanks! You were totally right! The Persians are going to pay

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    ♔The Lizard King♔'s Avatar Citizen
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    Default Re: [ETW] Georgia Still Hasn't Fallen? A Kingdom of Georgia AAR (Updated Jan. 19)

    Enjoying it so far, really like your use of pictures. To me, sometimes that is a big difference maker. Also, interesting nation selection. I'll be following this.

    +rep

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    Scottish King's Avatar Content Director
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    Default Re: [ETW] Georgia Still Hasn't Fallen? A Kingdom of Georgia AAR (Updated Jan. 19)

    Quote Originally Posted by ♔The Lizard King♔ View Post
    Enjoying it so far, really like your use of pictures. To me, sometimes that is a big difference maker. Also, interesting nation selection. I'll be following this.

    +rep
    Thanks! Ill have a update up soon!

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    Rex Anglorvm's Avatar Wrinkly Wordsmith
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    Default Re: [ETW] Georgia Still Hasn't Fallen? A Kingdom of Georgia AAR (Updated Jan. 19)

    I like the short and punchy style of your updates SK, plus the comedic elements.

    Rep+
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    Tomas.carney's Avatar Miles
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    Default Re: [ETW] Georgia Still Hasn't Fallen? A Kingdom of Georgia AAR (Updated Jan. 19)

    This is my first look into empire total war aar and it is good. Keep up the good job

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    Default Re: [ETW] Georgia Still Hasn't Fallen? A Kingdom of Georgia AAR (Updated Jan. 19)

    1704-1706: Onward to Azerbai-what???

    The year of 1704 was passed by in relative peace as Lazaros marched further into Persian territory. Meanwhile, Giorgi made arrangements to keep an eye on their allies, Dagestan. One never knows…



    Finally in 1705, Lazaros arrived outside the gates of Azerbaijan and immediately attacked.



    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    “No need for the cannons. Their range is too short.”

    “Sir, we have no-”

    “And equip the bayonets!”

    “Oh for the love of-”

    “Onward, men! The city of Azer- Azerbai-”

    “Azerbaijan, sir!”

    “Yes, that’s it! Their Persian rugs are for the taking!”



    The Georgian army quickly entered the city only to find its streets empty. Thinking that the city had surrendered they made their way to city hall.

    “Come on guys! The 1st will be the first to make it to the city square! Get it?”

    “Stop with the corny jokes sergeant! They are as bad as you smell!”

    “That’s not me! What the- Camels!”

    “Those idiots are riding our dinner boys! Get them!”



    After cutting thick camel steaks, the Georgian army finally engaged the Persians in battle.



    “We can beat them boys! Keep fighting!”

    “Wait-where’s the general!”

    “He’s right over-I don’t know!”

    “Well, if he’s not here we’re not fighting! I’ll like to enjoy my steaks before I die! Retreat!”



    “No, the army must fight! Look more camels! More camels means-”

    “More steak! Charge!”



    Fortunately, the desire for camel steaks kept the Georgians fighting long enough to break the Persian army. The victory gave the Georgians control over Azerbaijan.







    “General, where were you! The men needed you!”

    “I was looking for spoils!”

    “Sir, you do that after the battle!”

    “Why wait? I certainly wasn’t satisfied! Not one Persian rug could be found!”

    Azerbaijan wasn’t satisfied either. During the next year, 1706, the populace rioted but no harm was done. This was due to the fact that Lazaros was tearing the city apart looking for a Persian rug.

    “Want…Persian…rug…”

    “You know you can probably get one when we arrive in Persia, sir?”

    “Need…one …now…”

    Finally, in 1706 a full blown rebellion erupted in the Azerbaijan province. Lazaros quickly got his army together and marched to meet them.

    "Beat them soundly, sir. Would had been a greater victory and worth of a picture showing the end results had not most of the casualties been drowning while miles away from any open water besides a bath tub."



    “I don't care about that!!! Did they have my preciousssss?!”

    "That wasn't wierd at all. Your precious, sir?"

    "You know what I mean. The rug."

    “No, sir…”

    “NNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!”

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    Scottish King's Avatar Content Director
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    Default Re: [ETW] Georgia Still Hasn't Fallen? A Kingdom of Georgia AAR (Updated Jan. 19)

    Quote Originally Posted by Rex Anglorvm View Post
    I like the short and punchy style of your updates SK, plus the comedic elements.

    Rep+
    Thanks Rex! Thats what I was aiming for. With it short and punchy I can do a update in no time which allows me to keep at it even when school gets busy in one sitting.

    Quote Originally Posted by Tomas.carney View Post
    This is my first look into empire total war aar and it is good. Keep up the good job
    Thank you! Im honored to be the first Empire AAR you've read!

  12. #12
    Tomas.carney's Avatar Miles
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    Default Re: [ETW] Georgia Still Hasn't Fallen? A Kingdom of Georgia AAR (Updated Feb. 2)

    The story is still funny thats good.

  13. #13
    Libertus
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    Default Re: [ETW] Georgia Still Hasn't Fallen? A Kingdom of Georgia AAR (Updated Feb. 2)

    Sweet story, have some Rep ^^.
    1 little correction, in ''Didn't see that coming''.
    In the spoiler of that big battle, you posted the results of the small battle.
    But, also under the spoiler, the small battle results are to be seen.
    I'll keep tuned on this!

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    Jokern's Avatar A real :wub: vampire
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    Default Re: [ETW] Georgia Still Hasn't Fallen? A Kingdom of Georgia AAR (Updated Feb. 2)

    This is really funny, please keep this up. Have some rep+
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    Merchant of Venice's Avatar Certified Merchant
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    Default Re: [ETW] Georgia Still Hasn't Fallen? A Kingdom of Georgia AAR (Updated Feb. 2)

    Are it is soooo good to have a comedic AAR. You sir have a comedy gift. Loving this. Have some +rep!

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    Scottish King's Avatar Content Director
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    Default Re: [ETW] Georgia Still Hasn't Fallen? A Kingdom of Georgia AAR (Updated Feb. 2)

    Thanks everyone! Im real busy with school so this is on hold for the moment but not dead!

  17. #17
    Britannia's Finest's Avatar Shashu
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    Default Re: [ETW] Georgia Still Hasn't Fallen? A Kingdom of Georgia AAR (Updated Feb. 2)

    Hey, Scottish King! I read your Moor AAR a while back, glad to see you can still make them Looking foreward to this as I bought Empire a few days ago so I'm right in there with the game at the moment. + Rep!

  18. #18
    Sleeping Bear's Avatar Cornicularius
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    Default Re: [ETW] Georgia Still Hasn't Fallen? A Kingdom of Georgia AAR (Updated Feb. 2)

    I really enjoy your style of writing and the comedic elements, keep it up!

    +rep

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