The Hobbit: An Unexpected Fail: Chapter 2, check my second post.

**Flinn** · March 26, 2013, 02:43 AM

"They closed down the Mirkwood Cannabis store?" said Gandalf sarcastically."

"This bad." said Radagast and pulled out a cloth. Gandalf slowly unwrapped it, took one look, and vomited.
"BAT FECES?" roared Gandalf.
"Whoops sorry, that's me lunch, I was saving them for later. I meant this cloth!"

thanks man, love your stories

**Lortano** · April 04, 2013, 06:53 PM

Chapter 6 is up, so comment on what you thought of Book 3! Book 4 will be coming up, hopefully by the end of next week!

**Flinn** · April 05, 2013, 08:01 AM

this chapter is one of the best so far, the Rabbits League made me laugh hard !

Thanks again

**Lortano** · June 06, 2013, 03:40 PM

And so...TWO MONTHS WITHOUT ANY LAUGHTER? Jesus, why have I not received death threats?

Anyway, Book 4: Chapter 1 is up, and naturally it's from the point of view of evil....and it's a nice long one too. (Joke intended)

Enjoy, post your feedback.

**Lortano** · June 06, 2013, 03:42 PM

Of course Twcenter doesn't register my first post....

**Flinn** · June 07, 2013, 03:42 AM

welcome back, I missed your stories

"Seriously, who gets beaten by the power of love and understanding?" he murmured as he rejected the form."

**Lortano** · June 07, 2013, 04:40 AM

I should've had Voldemort come in after he said that....

**Lortano** · July 26, 2013, 11:06 AM

Chapter 2 is up, after a very long wait.

I was given new confidence after watching Epic Movie, and coming to the conclusion that nothing in the entire world could be a worse parody.

**Lortano** · November 11, 2013, 06:46 PM

Chapter 3 is now up!

**Flinn** · November 12, 2013, 05:44 AM

oww mate, glad to see you back, I don't know why but I somewhat skipped chapter 2, my bad

very good entries, these two part made me laugh hard

"NO GANDALF! NO!" Throin slammed a fist down on the table. " We are NOT going through Moria."
"I agree with him." said Balin. Thorin glared at him.
"Honestly, this Moria fixation will be the death of both of you." Thorin rolled his eyes and carried on.

and in particular

"What of you Saruman?"
"Well I have to go and build up my army of darknes- I mean help plot the downfall of all evil and the saving of the men of Gondor."
"Galadriel?" Gandalf asked. In her mental voice she said,
"I must return to Lorien. Celeborn is a fool and liekly left the oven on, and has probably burned down half the forest."
"And you Elrond?"
Elrond stared at him as though it was the most stupid question in the world.
"Oh, of course, you don't do anything." Gandalf said sarcastically.
"I provide tactical moral support." Elrond said gruffly.

**Lortano** · November 12, 2013, 10:22 AM

Need to rush to get thiese bits out before Hobbit 2. I want to have a clear mind before the day of reckoning.

**Lortano** · November 16, 2013, 06:51 PM

Chapter 4 is up. A serious book, I honestly had nothing else to write, so I put in a scene with Bilbo and Elrond for them to have a little talk. So no laughs, well maybe one.

**quenya** · April 06, 2014, 07:52 PM

@Lortano I cant see chapters 2 and 3 and 4 of book 4. =/ Also, what happened?!?! are u not doing this anymore?

**Lortano** · July 25, 2014, 05:47 PM

And so I return, with Chapter 5 of the Hobbit!

**Flinn** · July 28, 2014, 03:07 AM

I would love to read it, if only I could find it ...

**Veteraan** · July 28, 2014, 04:19 AM

Originally Posted by Flinn

I would love to read it, if only I could find it ...

Try this LINK.

I was also surprised at where Lortano posted it (although your old man did find it by himself

). Shot a message to Lortano about it and was told the first post had reached the word limit, forcing him to post it where he did.

**Flinn** · July 28, 2014, 05:58 AM

tnx daddy

and now, go find a job

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

@ Lortano: glad to have you back, I missed your humor

"DAMN YOU GANDALF!" Bilbo cried as they were dragged into the back of the cave.

**Oneru** · July 28, 2014, 07:39 AM

Hilarious, thanks so much for writing this and brightening up this very grey & dreary day! Read through the whole thing at once, can't wait for the rest!

**Ngugi** · July 28, 2014, 08:34 AM

What on earth am I reading here...

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

**Lortano** · July 28, 2014, 11:30 AM

Cheers for the support. I'll get this section of the Hobbit finished over August and then start a new thread for part two, creating about six extra posts in that one to hold all of Part 1 (The part you see in this thread) and Parts 2 and 3 (Yet to be written)