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Thread: The Hobbit: An Unexpected Fail: Book 5 Is up!

  1. #41
    Flinn's Avatar A Modern Man of Old
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    Default Re: The Hobbit: An Unexpected Fail: New chapter 25th march

    "They closed down the Mirkwood Cannabis store?" said Gandalf sarcastically."

    "This bad." said Radagast and pulled out a cloth. Gandalf slowly unwrapped it, took one look, and vomited.
    "BAT FECES?" roared Gandalf.
    "Whoops sorry, that's me lunch, I was saving them for later. I meant this cloth!"



    thanks man, love your stories
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  2. #42
    Lortano's Avatar Hastatas Posterior
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    Default Re: The Hobbit: An unexpected Fail: Book 2!

    Chapter 6 is up, so comment on what you thought of Book 3! Book 4 will be coming up, hopefully by the end of next week!
    Sauron's Miseries: My tale of heroism, glory and of utter failures that ruin the Dark Lord's plans:http://www.twcenter.net/forums/showthread.php?t=542268
    The Hobbit: An Unexpected Fail: A story of true friendship, a quest to destroy a dragon, and references all around! http://www.twcenter.net/forums/showthread.php?t=584031
    And see where it all began in: Three Jewels, One Valar. http://www.twcenter.net/forums/showthread.php?t=555203

    My Youtube, where you can see my Let's Plays! http://www.youtube.com/user/LortanoTheDuke?feature=mhee

  3. #43
    Flinn's Avatar A Modern Man of Old
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    Default Re: The Hobbit: An Unexpected Fail: End of Book 3 5th April

    this chapter is one of the best so far, the Rabbits League made me laugh hard !

    Thanks again
    Fan and supporter of Third Age: Total War and its Submods
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  4. #44
    Lortano's Avatar Hastatas Posterior
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    Default Re: The Hobbit: An Unexpected Fail: End of Book 3 5th April

    And so...TWO MONTHS WITHOUT ANY LAUGHTER? Jesus, why have I not received death threats?

    Anyway, Book 4: Chapter 1 is up, and naturally it's from the point of view of evil....and it's a nice long one too. (Joke intended)

    Enjoy, post your feedback.
    Sauron's Miseries: My tale of heroism, glory and of utter failures that ruin the Dark Lord's plans:http://www.twcenter.net/forums/showthread.php?t=542268
    The Hobbit: An Unexpected Fail: A story of true friendship, a quest to destroy a dragon, and references all around! http://www.twcenter.net/forums/showthread.php?t=584031
    And see where it all began in: Three Jewels, One Valar. http://www.twcenter.net/forums/showthread.php?t=555203

    My Youtube, where you can see my Let's Plays! http://www.youtube.com/user/LortanoTheDuke?feature=mhee

  5. #45
    Lortano's Avatar Hastatas Posterior
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    Default Re: The Hobbit: An Unexpected Fail: End of Book 3 5th April

    Of course Twcenter doesn't register my first post....
    Sauron's Miseries: My tale of heroism, glory and of utter failures that ruin the Dark Lord's plans:http://www.twcenter.net/forums/showthread.php?t=542268
    The Hobbit: An Unexpected Fail: A story of true friendship, a quest to destroy a dragon, and references all around! http://www.twcenter.net/forums/showthread.php?t=584031
    And see where it all began in: Three Jewels, One Valar. http://www.twcenter.net/forums/showthread.php?t=555203

    My Youtube, where you can see my Let's Plays! http://www.youtube.com/user/LortanoTheDuke?feature=mhee

  6. #46
    Flinn's Avatar A Modern Man of Old
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    Default Re: The Hobbit: An Unexpected Fail:Book 4: Chapter 1 is up!

    welcome back, I missed your stories

    "Seriously, who gets beaten by the power of love and understanding?" he murmured as he rejected the form."
    Fan and supporter of Third Age: Total War and its Submods
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  7. #47
    Lortano's Avatar Hastatas Posterior
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    Default Re: The Hobbit: An Unexpected Fail:Book 4: Chapter 1 is up!

    I should've had Voldemort come in after he said that....
    Sauron's Miseries: My tale of heroism, glory and of utter failures that ruin the Dark Lord's plans:http://www.twcenter.net/forums/showthread.php?t=542268
    The Hobbit: An Unexpected Fail: A story of true friendship, a quest to destroy a dragon, and references all around! http://www.twcenter.net/forums/showthread.php?t=584031
    And see where it all began in: Three Jewels, One Valar. http://www.twcenter.net/forums/showthread.php?t=555203

    My Youtube, where you can see my Let's Plays! http://www.youtube.com/user/LortanoTheDuke?feature=mhee

  8. #48
    Lortano's Avatar Hastatas Posterior
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    Default Re: The Hobbit: An Unexpected Fail:Book 4: Chapter 1 is up!

    Chapter 2 is up, after a very long wait.

    I was given new confidence after watching Epic Movie, and coming to the conclusion that nothing in the entire world could be a worse parody.
    Sauron's Miseries: My tale of heroism, glory and of utter failures that ruin the Dark Lord's plans:http://www.twcenter.net/forums/showthread.php?t=542268
    The Hobbit: An Unexpected Fail: A story of true friendship, a quest to destroy a dragon, and references all around! http://www.twcenter.net/forums/showthread.php?t=584031
    And see where it all began in: Three Jewels, One Valar. http://www.twcenter.net/forums/showthread.php?t=555203

    My Youtube, where you can see my Let's Plays! http://www.youtube.com/user/LortanoTheDuke?feature=mhee

  9. #49
    Lortano's Avatar Hastatas Posterior
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    Default Re: The Hobbit: An Unexpected Fail:Book 4: Chapter 2 is up!

    Chapter 3 is now up!
    Sauron's Miseries: My tale of heroism, glory and of utter failures that ruin the Dark Lord's plans:http://www.twcenter.net/forums/showthread.php?t=542268
    The Hobbit: An Unexpected Fail: A story of true friendship, a quest to destroy a dragon, and references all around! http://www.twcenter.net/forums/showthread.php?t=584031
    And see where it all began in: Three Jewels, One Valar. http://www.twcenter.net/forums/showthread.php?t=555203

    My Youtube, where you can see my Let's Plays! http://www.youtube.com/user/LortanoTheDuke?feature=mhee

  10. #50
    Flinn's Avatar A Modern Man of Old
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    Default Re: The Hobbit: An Unexpected Fail:Book 4: Chapter 3!!!!!

    oww mate, glad to see you back, I don't know why but I somewhat skipped chapter 2, my bad

    very good entries, these two part made me laugh hard

    "NO GANDALF! NO!" Throin slammed a fist down on the table. " We are NOT going through Moria."
    "I agree with him." said Balin. Thorin glared at him.
    "Honestly, this Moria fixation will be the death of both of you." Thorin rolled his eyes and carried on.
    and in particular

    "What of you Saruman?"
    "Well I have to go and build up my army of darknes- I mean help plot the downfall of all evil and the saving of the men of Gondor."
    "Galadriel?" Gandalf asked. In her mental voice she said,
    "I must return to Lorien. Celeborn is a fool and liekly left the oven on, and has probably burned down half the forest."
    "And you Elrond?"
    Elrond stared at him as though it was the most stupid question in the world.
    "Oh, of course, you don't do anything." Gandalf said sarcastically.
    "I provide tactical moral support." Elrond said gruffly.
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  11. #51
    Lortano's Avatar Hastatas Posterior
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    Default Re: The Hobbit: An Unexpected Fail:Book 4: Chapter 3!!!!!

    Need to rush to get thiese bits out before Hobbit 2. I want to have a clear mind before the day of reckoning.
    Sauron's Miseries: My tale of heroism, glory and of utter failures that ruin the Dark Lord's plans:http://www.twcenter.net/forums/showthread.php?t=542268
    The Hobbit: An Unexpected Fail: A story of true friendship, a quest to destroy a dragon, and references all around! http://www.twcenter.net/forums/showthread.php?t=584031
    And see where it all began in: Three Jewels, One Valar. http://www.twcenter.net/forums/showthread.php?t=555203

    My Youtube, where you can see my Let's Plays! http://www.youtube.com/user/LortanoTheDuke?feature=mhee

  12. #52
    Lortano's Avatar Hastatas Posterior
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    Default Re: The Hobbit: An Unexpected Fail:Book 4: Chapter 3!!!!!

    Chapter 4 is up. A serious book, I honestly had nothing else to write, so I put in a scene with Bilbo and Elrond for them to have a little talk. So no laughs, well maybe one.
    Sauron's Miseries: My tale of heroism, glory and of utter failures that ruin the Dark Lord's plans:http://www.twcenter.net/forums/showthread.php?t=542268
    The Hobbit: An Unexpected Fail: A story of true friendship, a quest to destroy a dragon, and references all around! http://www.twcenter.net/forums/showthread.php?t=584031
    And see where it all began in: Three Jewels, One Valar. http://www.twcenter.net/forums/showthread.php?t=555203

    My Youtube, where you can see my Let's Plays! http://www.youtube.com/user/LortanoTheDuke?feature=mhee

  13. #53
    quenya's Avatar Hastatas Prior
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    Default Re: The Hobbit: An Unexpected Fail:Book 4: Chapter 3!!!!!

    @Lortano I cant see chapters 2 and 3 and 4 of book 4. =/ Also, what happened?!?! are u not doing this anymore?
    Droma: :Rosa

  14. #54
    Lortano's Avatar Hastatas Posterior
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    Default Re: The Hobbit: An Unexpected Fail:Book 4: Chapter 3!!!!!

    And so I return, with Chapter 5 of the Hobbit!
    Sauron's Miseries: My tale of heroism, glory and of utter failures that ruin the Dark Lord's plans:http://www.twcenter.net/forums/showthread.php?t=542268
    The Hobbit: An Unexpected Fail: A story of true friendship, a quest to destroy a dragon, and references all around! http://www.twcenter.net/forums/showthread.php?t=584031
    And see where it all began in: Three Jewels, One Valar. http://www.twcenter.net/forums/showthread.php?t=555203

    My Youtube, where you can see my Let's Plays! http://www.youtube.com/user/LortanoTheDuke?feature=mhee

  15. #55
    Flinn's Avatar A Modern Man of Old
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    Default Re: The Hobbit: An Unexpected Fail: Book 5 Is up!

    I would love to read it, if only I could find it ...
    Fan and supporter of Third Age: Total War and its Submods
    My Guide: Turtling in TATW and MOS, completed May '14
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  16. #56
    Veteraan's Avatar Hastatas Posterior
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    Default Re: The Hobbit: An Unexpected Fail: Book 5 Is up!

    Quote Originally Posted by Flinn View Post
    I would love to read it, if only I could find it ...
    Try this LINK.

    I was also surprised at where Lortano posted it (although your old man did find it by himself). Shot a message to Lortano about it and was told the first post had reached the word limit, forcing him to post it where he did.
    Last edited by Veteraan; Yesterday at 05:22 AM.
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    Wait for an official answer from Sir GED (site owner)

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    What are you talking about? Who is him? Some kind of oracle?
    I've never heard about this, hope my head will not roll over.


  17. #57
    Flinn's Avatar A Modern Man of Old
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    Default Re: The Hobbit: An Unexpected Fail: Book 5 Is up!

    tnx daddy

    and now, go find a job

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    @ Lortano: glad to have you back, I missed your humor

    "DAMN YOU GANDALF!" Bilbo cried as they were dragged into the back of the cave.
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  18. #58
    Oneru's Avatar Cornicularius
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    Default Re: The Hobbit: An Unexpected Fail: Book 5 Is up!

    Hilarious, thanks so much for writing this and brightening up this very grey & dreary day! Read through the whole thing at once, can't wait for the rest!
    ~~ Happiness lies in contentment ~~

  19. #59
    Ngugi's Avatar TATW Local Moderator
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    Default Re: The Hobbit: An Unexpected Fail: Book 5 Is up!

    What on earth am I reading here...

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 



    Many good laughs prior to it, but when I appeared it was huge surprise
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  20. #60
    Lortano's Avatar Hastatas Posterior
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    Default Re: The Hobbit: An Unexpected Fail: Book 5 Is up!

    Cheers for the support. I'll get this section of the Hobbit finished over August and then start a new thread for part two, creating about six extra posts in that one to hold all of Part 1 (The part you see in this thread) and Parts 2 and 3 (Yet to be written)
    Sauron's Miseries: My tale of heroism, glory and of utter failures that ruin the Dark Lord's plans:http://www.twcenter.net/forums/showthread.php?t=542268
    The Hobbit: An Unexpected Fail: A story of true friendship, a quest to destroy a dragon, and references all around! http://www.twcenter.net/forums/showthread.php?t=584031
    And see where it all began in: Three Jewels, One Valar. http://www.twcenter.net/forums/showthread.php?t=555203

    My Youtube, where you can see my Let's Plays! http://www.youtube.com/user/LortanoTheDuke?feature=mhee

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