Crossroads Saloon: OOC chat.

[Trot]

What sentence?

[Narf]

The table is already well furnished, cloth covering it, plates, glasses, silverware and food inhabit the four-legged structure. It is a feast with lit candles and steaming food. Four chairs besiege the table on two fronts same chairs as he noticed before with upholstered backs.
This one.

[Trot]

The table is already well furnished, cloth covering it, plates, glasses, silverware and food inhabit the four-legged structure. It is a feast with lit candles and steaming food. Four chairs besiege the table on two fronts same chairs as he noticed before with upholstered backs.
This one.

Their a couple of ways you could do it.
Here is the one I would personally use.
The table is already well furnished, cloth covering it, plates, glasses, silverware and food inhabit the four-legged structure. It is a feast with lit candles and steaming food. Four chairs besiege the table on two fronts; the same chairs as he noticed before, the ones with the upholstered backs.

[Dirty Chai]

Do Welshmen actually sheep?

That's like asking if all Southern Americans are inbred, Pink.

How would you make the sentence?

Here's the full version, with as little variation as possible:
"The table is already well furnished; cloth, plates, glasses, and silverware cover it, with food already inhabiting the four-legged structure.
It is a feast, with lit candles and rising steam. Four chairs besiege the table on two fronts, the same chairs with upholstered backs that he had noticed before."

First, note this:
"Four chairs besiege the table on two fronts, the same chairs with upholstered backs that he had noticed before."
That's not proper grammar, but is often found in writing regardless.
Proper grammar would look more like this:
"Four chairs besiege the table on two fronts; they are the same chairs with upholstered backs which he had noticed before."
Notice how the proper one seems more rigid, and does not flow as well? That is why it is often ignored.

Second, but less important:
Perhaps it's just me, but 'steamy food' may not be the best description. I imagine saunas, and well... other things when I hear 'steamy'.
Perhaps.. "warmth rising from the meal" would suit better?

[Pinkerton]

That's like asking if all Southern Americans are inbred.

The answer is yes.

Hey, I didn't know that stereotype.

On the grammar stuff:

I've realized that I used to write better. My level with the english language has decayed a lot

[Narf]

The table is already well furnished; cloth, plates, glasses, and silverware cover it, with food already inhabiting the four-legged structure.
It is a feast, with lit candles and warmth rising from the meal sharing a welcoming fragrance. Four chairs besiege the table on two fronts, the same chairs with upholstered backs that he had noticed before.

?

[Dirty Chai]

I've realized that I used to write better. My level with the english language has decayed a lot

Yeah, when you get a good portion, if not all, of your practice with writing from RPG's and creative writing, sometimes you get lazy.
This doesn't happen to everyone, but I've noticed that I've fallen into plenty of amateur uses of prepositions for example.

My writing straightens out when I have essays for school, though.

The table is already well furnished; cloth, plates, glasses, and silverware cover it, with food already inhabiting the four-legged structure.
It is a feast, with lit candles and warmth rising from the meal sharing a welcoming fragrance. Four chairs besiege the table on two fronts, the same chairs with upholstered backs that he had noticed before.

?

Yeah, that's much better. Very good.
Although I must stress that your original text wasn't bad at all.

In terms of actual 'writing flavor', they are both great.

[Trot]

I've been forced to think about grammar again recently. My English teacher keeps giving us gamer assignments, and then telling us the wrong answers. She told us clauses and prepositions are the same thing.
No mater what we all write better than this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SoXF03rzZ0A

[Dirty Chai]

As long as you don't write like this, the English-speaking world can tolerate you.

[Trot]

What on earth was that Sotha?

[Dirty Chai]

A horrible fan-fiction story written by a kid some years ago.
It became an internet joke, and that animation was made by Newgrounds.

[Narf]

Yeah, that's much better. Very good.
Although I must stress that your original text wasn't bad at all.

In terms of actual 'writing flavor', they are both great.

Thank you Sotha Sil. You made me smile.

[Pinkerton]

Poor -er

I hate fan-fiction

[Dirty Chai]

Fan fiction shouldn't be a thing.

On the other hand, what are we doing here, then?

[Pinkerton]

Fan fiction shouldn't be a thing.

On the other hand, what are we doing here, then?

If this subforum could be private I would totally be for it

It would be weird to think that people outside our circle read what we write

[Dirty Chai]

I meant that this RPG generally is just a giant fan-fiction.
I mean really, that is what it is.

My point is that it would be hypocritical of any of us to claim that we "hate fan-fiction."
It would be more accurate to claim that "most fan-fiction is bad/perverted/both," but that "there are good things here and there."
It's like DeviantART: a whole pile of covering some genuine masterpieces.

[Pinkerton]

Vaguely you are right

[Dirty Chai]

G.R.R.M. has however stated that he hates fan-fiction because it is the twisting and abusing of his and others' work.

That is what separates us from fan-fiction, apart from the definition of an RPG;
We aren't "using" his world to create and present "original works," like those thousands of fans on the rest of the internet.

So I take that back.
We're nothing like fan-fiction writers.
I on fan-fiction. Most of it is disgusting fantasies anyway.

[Pinkerton]

G.R.R.M. has however stated that he hates fan-fiction because it is the twisting and abusing of his and others' work.

That is what separates us from fan-fiction, apart from the definition of an RPG;
We aren't "using" his world to create and present "original works," like those thousands of fans on the rest of the internet.

So I take that back.
We're nothing like fan-fiction writers.
I on fan-fiction. Most of it is disgusting fantasies anyway.

We're playing a game here, that's the difference. We're having fun and all that crap, not writing a story

[Xion]

I view this more like a multiplayer game of CKII. We pick a historical start, our houses, and then watch/cause Europe(Westeros) descend into mass chaos, intrigue, etc. with no idea how it will end up.