Page 10 of 13 FirstFirst 12345678910111213 LastLast
Results 181 to 200 of 252

Thread: [SS 6.4] To Change our Fate: Reforging Sicily with Steel and Heart ~Chapter 24, 1/2/13~

  1. #181

    Default Re: [SS 6.4] To Change our Fate: Reforging Sicily with Steel and Heart ~Chapter 20, 15/1/13~

    If you keep updating chapters for me to read I'll never finish my AAR. Grrrr!

  2. #182
    Paragon's Avatar Senator
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Granada, Spain
    Posts
    1,232

    Default Re: [SS 6.4] To Change our Fate: Reforging Sicily with Steel and Heart ~Chapter 20, 15/1/13~

    I liked the Emir's scene too, although I don't know if having a similar scene in my AAR helps

    Anyways, despite being a great job as always, a few things ticked me off:

    I laughed so hard at this noble's delusion. Sure, he had indeed won a crushing victory that I would gladly accept to my credit any day, but I could care less about that now. To think that he actually executed the prisoners for being unable to pronounce his name! Did he even think about whether the Fatimid population could speak English in the first place?
    Is this just something more that you translate? I guess the language that Bartolomeo actually speaks would fit better.

    And well, it's just my opinion and others probably think otherwise, but I liked how you made the pics before better. Maybe it's the unbalance between length and width?
    This is my Aragonese AAR, One Single Man

    If you read and comment, there WILL be cake!

  3. #183
    Swaeft's Avatar Drama King
    Content Emeritus

    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    2,307
    Blog Entries
    8

    Default Re: [SS 6.4] To Change our Fate: Reforging Sicily with Steel and Heart ~Chapter 20, 15/1/13~

    Quote Originally Posted by Paragon View Post
    I liked the Emir's scene too, although I don't know if having a similar scene in my AAR helps

    Anyways, despite being a great job as always, a few things ticked me off:
    Thank you for that. I haven't read far enough into your AAR to even know if you have a scene with an Emir, but I guess that's up to you to believe, eh?

    Quote Originally Posted by Paragon View Post
    Is this just something more that you translate? I guess the language that Bartolomeo actually speaks would fit better.
    I'm sorry, but I don't understand what you mean by this. Bartolomeo speaks and wrote his report in...English. Do you by any chance mean Bartolomeo's native language--Italian?

    Quote Originally Posted by Paragon View Post
    And well, it's just my opinion and others probably think otherwise, but I liked how you made the pics before better. Maybe it's the unbalance between length and width?
    Yes, unfortunately you are spot on with this one. I've been having trouble re-sizing my images lately, I have no idea why. I use imageshack to upload my pictures, but even when I select the 800x600 option it still comes out like this. I'm exploring all available options to solve this problem, but I guess the pictures that are up will have to (sadly) remain in such a state.

    Thank you for your clear and honest feedback, and I hope to hear more from you soon--both here and on your AAR!

    Swaeft's Scribblings (Library)| Swaeft's Snaps (Gallery)| My Blog (The Lensation)

  4. #184

    Default Re: [SS 6.4] To Change our Fate: Reforging Sicily with Steel and Heart ~Chapter 20, 15/1/13~

    I thought the English thing was a bit weird. Italian would have made more sense.
    The Wings of Destiny - A FotS AAR (Chapter 12 - Updated Apr 24)
    Takeda - a Shogun 2 AAR (Completed) Reviewed by Radzeer

    My writing | My art | About me | Sekigahara Campaign - Developer

    ~~Under the proud patronage of Radzeer, Rogue Bodemloze. Patron of Noif de Bodemloze, Heiro de Bodemloze, and Hitai de Bodemloze~~

  5. #185
    Paragon's Avatar Senator
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Granada, Spain
    Posts
    1,232

    Default Re: [SS 6.4] To Change our Fate: Reforging Sicily with Steel and Heart ~Chapter 20, 15/1/13~

    Quote Originally Posted by Swaeft View Post
    Thank you for that. I haven't read far enough into your AAR to even know if you have a scene with an Emir, but I guess that's up to you to believe, eh?
    Seems you got me wrong, buddy, forget it.


    Quote Originally Posted by Swaeft View Post
    I'm sorry, but I don't understand what you mean by this. Bartolomeo speaks and wrote his report in...English. Do you by any chance mean Bartolomeo's native language--Italian?
    Well I don't know if it was 'Italian' or some dialect back in the 12th century, but yeah, that's what I meant. Why does he write it in English then?


    Thank you for your clear and honest feedback, and I hope to hear more from you soon--both here and on your AAR!
    You say it as if it was something special. Whatever, same.
    This is my Aragonese AAR, One Single Man

    If you read and comment, there WILL be cake!

  6. #186
    Swaeft's Avatar Drama King
    Content Emeritus

    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    2,307
    Blog Entries
    8

    Default Re: [SS 6.4] To Change our Fate: Reforging Sicily with Steel and Heart ~Chapter 20, 15/1/13~

    Quote Originally Posted by robinzx View Post
    I thought the English thing was a bit weird. Italian would have made more sense.
    Ah, so it is the Italian language that plays the Devil. So the question now...shall I change it, or leave it as a reminder to pay attention to the little details?

    Swaeft's Scribblings (Library)| Swaeft's Snaps (Gallery)| My Blog (The Lensation)

  7. #187
    Swaeft's Avatar Drama King
    Content Emeritus

    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    2,307
    Blog Entries
    8

    Default Re: [SS 6.4] To Change our Fate: Reforging Sicily with Steel and Heart ~Chapter 20, 15/1/13~

    Quote Originally Posted by Paragon View Post
    Well I don't know if it was 'Italian' or some dialect back in the 12th century, but yeah, that's what I meant. Why does he write it in English then?
    According to Wikipedia..
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    The standard Italian language has a poetic and literary origin starting in the twelfth century, and the modern standard of the language was largely shaped by relatively recent events. However, Italian as a language used in the Italian Peninsula has a longer history. In fact the earliest surviving texts that can definitely be called Italian (or more accurately, vernacular, as distinct from its predecessor Vulgar Latin) are legal formulae from the Province of Benevento that date from 960–963.[8] What would come to be thought of as Italian was first formalized in the early fourteenth century through the works of Tuscan writer Dante Alighieri, written in his native Florentine. Dante's epic poems, known collectively as the Commedia, to which another Tuscan poet Giovanni Boccaccio later affixed the title Divina, were read throughout Italy and his written dialect became the "canonical standard" that all educated Italians could understand. Dante is still credited with standardizing the Italian language, and thus the dialect of Florence became the basis for what would become the official language of Italy.


    What it actually is saying is that (correct me if I'm wrong) it started being widely used from 1100-1200, however in the Italian Peninsula alone it started as early as 960, but that was a little-known, early version of Italian. The most widespread and most recognized version started anywhere between 1300-1400 until now.

    So in the interest of not dedicating a large portion of a chapter to how the Italian language evolved, and because Italian was not really developed during 1100-1200, the language would have been in English.

    Case closed.


    Quote Originally Posted by Paragon View Post
    You say it as if it was something special. Whatever, same.
    It is special. To me. Because its the first criticism I have received.

    Swaeft's Scribblings (Library)| Swaeft's Snaps (Gallery)| My Blog (The Lensation)

  8. #188
    Paragon's Avatar Senator
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Granada, Spain
    Posts
    1,232

    Default Re: [SS 6.4] To Change our Fate: Reforging Sicily with Steel and Heart ~Chapter 20, 15/1/13~

    I don't know, English has no reason to be that widespread back then. I don't know too much about the history of Sicily, and it's up to you if you leave that or not, but maybe some Norman language makes more sense to me. As I said, no idea, but I wouldn't pick English.

    Also, I gave you more criticism before. Remember the stuff about how easy social climbing is for your character? And the stuff about the oh so very evil cheating? And the part you edited seemingly because of my comment? I'm the cracking old man complaining about stuff. That's special, maybe. Not good.
    This is my Aragonese AAR, One Single Man

    If you read and comment, there WILL be cake!

  9. #189
    Swaeft's Avatar Drama King
    Content Emeritus

    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    2,307
    Blog Entries
    8

    Default Re: [SS 6.4] To Change our Fate: Reforging Sicily with Steel and Heart ~Chapter 20, 15/1/13~

    Quote Originally Posted by Paragon View Post
    I don't know, English has no reason to be that widespread back then. I don't know too much about the history of Sicily, and it's up to you if you leave that or not, but maybe some Norman language makes more sense to me. As I said, no idea, but I wouldn't pick English.

    Also, I gave you more criticism before. Remember the stuff about how easy social climbing is for your character? And the stuff about the oh so very evil cheating? And the part you edited seemingly because of my comment? I'm the cracking old man complaining about stuff. That's special, maybe. Not good.
    I figured that perhaps the Normans would impart some of their language, part of the Anglo-Norman language and then English to the Sicilians over time. But that time is not yet. The ruling nobles may speak Italian at home, but they do speak English mostly, especially on crusade when crusading Knights and Pilgrims that join are not necessarily Italian--in fact most of the crusader knights and pilgrims were from France and England.

    And about the last part--I should have clarified. I meant you were the first person to give me criticism. Thanks you kindly.

    Swaeft's Scribblings (Library)| Swaeft's Snaps (Gallery)| My Blog (The Lensation)

  10. #190

    Default Re: [SS 6.4] To Change our Fate: Reforging Sicily with Steel and Heart ~Chapter 20, 15/1/13~


  11. #191
    Swaeft's Avatar Drama King
    Content Emeritus

    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    2,307
    Blog Entries
    8

    Default Re: [SS 6.4] To Change our Fate: Reforging Sicily with Steel and Heart ~Chapter 20, 15/1/13~

    Sorry for the delay, but I've been spending a considerable amount of time trying to find a solution for the images I've posted. I'm saddened to report that I have not yet found a solution, but that the update MUST go on. I'm working on it right now, expect it to be up in like...4 hours or less?

    Thank you all for your patience.

    Swaeft's Scribblings (Library)| Swaeft's Snaps (Gallery)| My Blog (The Lensation)

  12. #192
    Swaeft's Avatar Drama King
    Content Emeritus

    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    2,307
    Blog Entries
    8

    Default Re: [SS 6.4] To Change our Fate: Reforging Sicily with Steel and Heart ~Chapter 20, 15/1/13~

    Character Background Information
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    Sir Fallen/ Romano de Corleone: A middle-aged man from Palermo, Knighted at the Chapel of Palermo. He never knew his parents as they abandoned him when he was much younger. He was brought up by a veteran Knight who adopted him, and almost everything he knows about swordsmanship, fighting and the like was taught by his guardian, the Knight. He enjoys adventuring and freedom, and dislikes authority, especially nobles that rule unfairly with an iron fist. Has good knowledge about swordplay, but other than a wooden spear, he knows nothing about other weapons. Has grasped a slight amount of knowledge about farming after observing the Peasants work in their fields. Has also developed a reputation for defending the Peasantry from unreasonable people of higher status. After being adopted into the Royal Family and granted the title of Duke of Naples, he has been promoted to Lord High Chancellor. He also serves as the Royal Historian of the Kingdom, recording down important events and battles that happen into the archives.

    Saphirra: An angel-faced woman, but behind that face of innocence lies a deadly desire to rule the world as a queen, superseded only by her desire for pleasure. She leads a hitherto unheard of cult, and inherited her position as cult leader from her now deceased mother. Her cult believes in what Sir Fallen believes in-to save the Kingdom of Sicily, Sir Fallen must become King. She is willing to go to any lengths to ensure that happens, but may have her own motives as well...

    Captain Bartolomeo: A Knight appointed by Duke Guiskard to lead the army towards Al-Mahdiya. A staunch supporter of the Duke, he always obeys Duke Guiskard's orders to the letter, seeking to gain promotion and higher status. He does not care much about the life of the common man in the army, something that tells in his battle tactics and haste to attack.

    Bartolomeo de Policastro: The only son of Captain Bartolomeo that Romano encountered many years ago. Captain Bartolomeo’s feud with Romano continues to this day, but his son’s hatred towards Romano is born only out of his father’s preaching, and is unsure of whether he really detests Romano. Deep down, he hides a chivalrous personality.

    Lamberto Filangieri: A young noble recently promoted to the post of Duke of Palermo. A loyal and dependable commander, with but one flaw: The constant need for alcohol.



    One last city lay in the way of God's crusade--the target itself, the large city of Cairo. An opulent and well defended city, but one that would have to fall to the might of the crusading armies. Mustering the remnants of my forces, which were by no means small, I trudged towards Cairo with a determined spirit blazing within me. It was time to finish this and to find Timothy. He had hid from me for long enough.

    The First Battle of Cairo

    The enemy general in command of this city was none other than its Caliph--an Emir named Khayr al-Fatimiyyun. He had with him a sizable force that on any other day would have terrorized the many crusaders in the Holy Lands, for it comprised of a good mix of cavalry, infantry and even had a balista!



    However, this was not just 'any other day'. This was the day Cairo would fall to the combined might of Sicilian and Crusader armies.

    In my army I had a fantastic variety of soldiers. I had mounted skirmishers, archers, spearmen, and heavy cavalry. All in all, it was a good mix suited to all sorts of battles, and it was obviously led by me.


    The Crusader State's army however, was led by a very old general. He was none other than the famed Bohemond.


    I surprised that he was still alive at this stage, for the average life expectancy of a crusader wasn't very high. Nevertheless, I was thankful for the additional forces he brought with him, for it made destroying Cairo's garrison a much less daunting task.


    My army alone outnumbered the Fatimids hiding behind their walls, but those very walls could well negate the advantage of numbers in battle, and so Bohemond di Taranto's additional numbers may well tip the scales in our favor.


    I met him just before the battle commenced, and out of courtesy for his seniority and age I was the one who made the five-mile ride to his siege camp. He received me graciously enough, but around him lingered an ever-present aura of fear and dread, characterized by the way he spoke and his battle tactics. I cautioned him against the idea of entering battle personally, for his old age may be his downfall in this decisive battle. The only reply I received was 'God will guide me', and I had to be content with this cryptic response.

    Our discussions came to a close before midday. General Bohemond's army had not yet constructed any siege equipment, so I would be sending some over to his side to allow his men to attack the city from behind. My own forces would simultaneously box the Fatimids in and slowly push them back to the city square, where we would finish them off in a bloody fight. The battle lines were drawn, the siege equipment were aligned, and the battle was about to begin.

    As per our agreement, I sent a siege tower and a battering ram towards General Bohemond's army. They had to skirt around the large city walls for fear of being shot, so it took quite some time before they arrived at the Crusader General's location.


    The stubborn Fatimids followed the siege tower's every move, and pursued them from wall to wall, refusing to let the tower out of their sight. That was exhausting work on their part, and to see them scurry from wall to wall like rats brought a lopsided smile to my face. If not for their magnificent armor, my smile would have been a wide grin.


    As I waited for the rams and other siege equipment to get to their assigned positions, I admired the view of the city. The Masjid inside was so big and awe-inspiring I had to spend a whole minute to completely admire its glory. The golden-yellow hue that reflected off its top was an indomitable sight indeed.


    Just then, many runners approached me. They reported the readiness of the siege equipment and their current locations. From this information I was able to put together in my mind a mental map of the proceedings.


    Satisfied with their positioning, I turned to the runners and sent them back to their respective companies with various messages--hold position, prepare for assault or attack immediately. First to reach the large walls of Cairo were the peasants that I ordered to man the ram. They battered down its great iron doors, but from the opening came a flood of monsters, devils and heathen. The Arab cavalry stormed through the broken gates, taking the peasants completely by surprise and slaughtering many of them.


    I smiled sardonically. Everything was going according to plan. These bastards would pay for their impetuousness. I ordered our skirmishers forward--our Desert Cavalry. They more than earned their pay by hurling accurate, painful javelins at the enemy cavalry. They completely decimated their opponents without losing a single man.




    With the Arab cavalry in full flight and their numbers down to less than a tenth of their original strength, I ordered the general advance into the city. I hoped that our siege equipment on the other side of the city had breached the walls by now. The better our timing and the more well-coordinated our combined assault was, the more lives we could save and the more enemies we could kill. We streamed into the city in an orderly manner, looking out for any signs of conflict.




    Just then, a lone Muslim on horseback approached our lines. From his flag I could tell that he was on our side and was in fact from one of the three companies of Desert Cavalry I had sent to aid General Bohemond's army. To my astonishment, he rode right past our lines, a wild and demented look on his face! Startled, I apprehensively prepared for phase two of our plan, hoping that the Muslim was just corrupted by the delirium of battle, and not the sole survivor of General Bohemond's assault.


    As it turned out, the fleeing Muslim was not a sign of things to come--General Bohemond had successfully entered the rear of the city with minimal fuss after my rams broke down the doors.


    We approached the city square, and my eyes were met with a picture of wanton destruction and pandemonium. The enemy had been pushed back into the city square, but were holding fast and unwilling to budge. There was an enormous amount of dead on the floor, and a pathetic, bloodstained Fatimid banner lay in the midst of things. General Bohemond needed help.


    And we provided it. Ordering my infantry to create a distraction, I maneuvered my cavalry to the flanks of the Fatimids and repeatedly drove into their lines, creating mass confusion and casualties.


    Even though my grasp of battlefield tactics had improved by leaps and bounds over the past ten years or so, my skill with a sword had not. My first strike was parried by a Fatimid spearman, and I groaned in dismay.


    That abruptly evoked in me memories from way back, when Ethan and I had the chance to ride together side by side and attack our enemies together. Suddenly a flood of emotions seized control of my brain, and all my movements ceased.

    I reminisced about the glorious, happy days near the coast of Syracuse, where I happiness was never in short supply, where Ethan and I were the best of friends, and when I had foolishly endangered my life by falling off my horse.


    I still remembered Ethan picking me up and handing me my spear, and then helping me mount up before we chased the routers down side by side...


    A tear rolled off the bottom of my eyes, swathing through my grim, dirty face. The tingling sensation I felt was the prelude to my madness. Why didn't I save Ethan? Why wasn't I good enough? Why did he have to die? I still felt joy racking my body when captain Andrea had named me fallen, and how we had laughed together, our friendship--

    Thud. I fell off my horse unceremoniously. Someone had lunged at me. My perpetrator was none other than the enemy general himself, the Caliph of Cairo. While the rest of his bodyguards held my spearmen at bay, he himself had lunged towards me in a feral rage. And I, dreaming drearily about the past in the middle of battle, was about to pay the price.


    The price of death. I watched incredulously as my opponent smirked behind his helm and drew back his arm to finish me off. I would never reach my sword in time.

    Then a silhouette blotted out the light from the sun, and a choked cry of surprise was uttered once from the Caliph. Still coughing up globules of blood at me, he slumped to the ground with a sword in his back. In his place stood Bohemond di Taranto, the new savior of my life. He had leaped off his horse to assist me, and he now sheathed his sword and proffered his hand to me. Lying stunned on my back, I gratefully accepted.


    As I was hauled to my feet I looked around. Everywhere I looked I saw only Crusader or Sicilian flags. The battle was going to be ours, I just knew it.


    But then one final twist in the the battle simply had to throw itself upon Bohemond and me. I was helpless to stop it from happening. An enterprising Fatimid spearman had the audacity to sneak up behind the two crusading commanders in an attempt to kill us.

    Outrageously, he succeeded in part.

    General Bohemond's face twisted into one of pure agony as a spear protruded from his chest. I held him by the shoulders to prevent him from falling. However, it was too late.

    He was already dead. His head drooped slightly and he slumped forwards onto me. I staggered back, but the Fatimid spearman pressed forward, egged on by his success. My own sword was on the ground where I had fallen, and once again I faced the threat of a premature death.

    And once again, I escaped the Devil's claws. Clamoring out their war cries, by company of bodyguards rushed to my aid and trampled the Fatimid spearman into dust.

    But it brought no joy to me.


    We had won a major victory, crippling the seat of the Fatimid Caliphate's power, and driving them back into the vast deserts where we could hunt them at our leisure.


    But the angst, the consternation, and the sense of guilt was all too overbearing. Because of my foolishness once again, Bohemond had become another Ethan, dying to protect me.


    My conscience tormented me over and over again, refusing to grant me solace even when alone. I vented my anger on four thousand innocent civilians, and stripped the coffers of Cairo by at least ten thousand florins.


    Yet I still did not feel satisfied. My actions were repugnant, and I knew it. As the many soldiers in my army gave thanks to God, I wallowed away in self-pity and sorrow somewhere in Cairo. The city that was now ours, and part of Christendom.



    **


    An hour passed. Then another. And another. By the time I regained the moral courage to stand, the sacking of the city had long finished. My bodyguards had stood guard outside my chambers for three hours straight, not drinking any water or consuming any food just to protect me. Was I really this hopeless, selfish, and inept?

    A knock on the door interrupted my infuriated reverie. "Come in." I muttered. I was surprised my guards even heard it. The wooden door groaned upon, matching my despondent mood, but the man who entered had none of my current feelings. He was garbed in black armor, and I instantly recognized the insignia on his breastplate.


    He had come to serve me. Me, the incapable swordfighter. Me, the useless friend. Me, the victorious loser.

    "Why me?" I had questioned.

    "Because you serve God and carry out His will." The knight had replied. I dismissed him immediately when he said that, and continued to mourn my loss through the starless, unsympathetic, torturous night. I would begin my search for Timothy tomorrow, whatever the cost, and whatever my mood. Time was of the essence now, and I wasn't about to let myself slip up again.


    **


    The morning glare of the Sun did not bring warmth to my heart, but I dragged myself out of bed to meet the cruel world. I ordered my bodyguards to stay at my room--I would only attract attention if I brought them along. A fleeting thought about what almost happened to Princess Maximilla when Ethan and I accompanied her without her guards passed through my mind, but I banished the thought immediately. This was the future. This was the now.

    The sprawling city of Cairo was so large, I did not know where to start. Everywhere I looked, an endless street would present itself to me, the numerous buildings creating an impression of a gaping hole that would swallow you up the moment you stepped in.


    Having no other recourse or lead, I decided to head to the local inn. An inn would have the latest rumors flying about like wildfire, and it was the best bet I had in this enormous, sprawling city. On my way there, I walked by many Sicilian guardsmen. The takeover was proceeding smoothly under my deputy, a captain more efficient at administrative work than I was. I decided to recall the situation in the Holy Lands now.


    We had control of Alexandria, Cairo and Damietta, all important strategic locations that could reinforce each other when needed. One concern was a large Moorish army skulking around the outskirts of Alexandria, but our kingdoms were not at war, so I did not fret unduly. I would address the problem when it grew large enough.

    Cairo was more than safe for now, and the priests that had accompanied us on this venture were already preaching our ways to the civilians of Cairo under the leadership of Cardinal Niccolo. Hungarian and Crusader armies guarded the roads to it temporarily, in exchange for food and supplies of which were aplenty in Cairo. All was well. Now I needed to find Timothy.

    I halted outside the inn. A sense of forbearance overcame me, but I pushed onward. Swinging the doors open, an intoxicating aroma of exotic drink and spices wafted into my nostrils. I ignored it. Loud, blaring music was blasting into my ears, courtesy of a group of Muslim troubadours playing in the corner of the inn. I ignored them. Staring straight ahead, I saw something that I could not ignore, something that bamboozled the mind and shocked me to the core.

    Saphirra and another man were sitting at a table, chatting happily amid the boisterous crowd.

    That man was my son. Raimondo.
    Last edited by Swaeft; January 21, 2013 at 06:22 AM. Reason: Changed the crazy name of the Muslim band.

    Swaeft's Scribblings (Library)| Swaeft's Snaps (Gallery)| My Blog (The Lensation)

  13. #193

    Default Re: [SS 6.4] To Change our Fate: Reforging Sicily with Steel and Heart ~Chapter 21, 20/1/13~

    What on Earth is he doing there? Wasn't he supposed to be in....I don't know, Naples or something?

  14. #194

    Default Re: [SS 6.4] To Change our Fate: Reforging Sicily with Steel and Heart ~Chapter 21, 20/1/13~

    Nice update! Poor Bohemond! This is how a legend departs.... But now your Outremer territory is larger than your home.
    I liked the cliffhanger with the son too, but I'm not sure what the Muslim band does there. Was there such thing as a Muslim band at that time?
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    Bad nitpicking!

  15. #195

    Default Re: [SS 6.4] To Change our Fate: Reforging Sicily with Steel and Heart ~Chapter 21, 20/1/13~

    How dare you....you let Bohemond die! The Bohemond that saved my character! You...shall...die!!!

    Only kidding, wonderful update and great cliffhanger! I wonder what Raimondo is doing there....

    Quote Originally Posted by Radzeer View Post
    I liked the cliffhanger with the son too, but I'm not sure what the Muslim band does there. Was there such thing as a Muslim band at that time?
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    Bad nitpicking!
    I agree with Radzeer. Maybe you should have said something along the lines of troubadours, instead of the modern 'band'.

    Other than that, impressive effort!

  16. #196
    Swaeft's Avatar Drama King
    Content Emeritus

    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    2,307
    Blog Entries
    8

    Default Re: [SS 6.4] To Change our Fate: Reforging Sicily with Steel and Heart ~Chapter 21, 20/1/13~

    Quote Originally Posted by Seraphic View Post
    What on Earth is he doing there? Wasn't he supposed to be in....I don't know, Naples or something?
    Quote Originally Posted by Radzeer View Post
    Nice update! Poor Bohemond! This is how a legend departs.... But now your Outremer territory is larger than your home.
    I liked the cliffhanger with the son too, but I'm not sure what the Muslim band does there. Was there such thing as a Muslim band at that time?
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    Bad nitpicking!
    Thank you for nitpicking my nit. It feels oddly good to have criticism directed at me again. In fairness to you, you are probably right. The word band was quite...out of place.

    Quote Originally Posted by Seraphic View Post
    How dare you....you let Bohemond die! The Bohemond that saved my character! You...shall...die!!!

    Only kidding, wonderful update and great cliffhanger! I wonder what Raimondo is doing there....

    I agree with Radzeer. Maybe you should have said something along the lines of troubadours, instead of the modern 'band'.

    Other than that, impressive effort!
    Right....the second guy to notice that in quick succession. Thanks for pointing it out. A change is in order!

    Swaeft's Scribblings (Library)| Swaeft's Snaps (Gallery)| My Blog (The Lensation)

  17. #197
    Paragon's Avatar Senator
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Granada, Spain
    Posts
    1,232

    Default Re: [SS 6.4] To Change our Fate: Reforging Sicily with Steel and Heart ~Chapter 21, 20/1/13~

    Our main character truly is cursed, if he can cause the death of a 73 years old CRUSADER
    This is my Aragonese AAR, One Single Man

    If you read and comment, there WILL be cake!

  18. #198

    Default Re: [SS 6.4] To Change our Fate: Reforging Sicily with Steel and Heart ~Chapter 21, 20/1/13~

    I've only just discovered this AAR but what an AAR this is! You have truly made us both love and hate the characters the way only a great author could.

    One question though his love for his wife waning? Because I think I would be truly sad if it was. But then not everything ends happily ever after!

  19. #199
    Swaeft's Avatar Drama King
    Content Emeritus

    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    2,307
    Blog Entries
    8

    Default Re: [SS 6.4] To Change our Fate: Reforging Sicily with Steel and Heart ~Chapter 21, 20/1/13~

    Quote Originally Posted by Paragon View Post
    Our main character truly is cursed, if he can cause the death of a 73 years old CRUSADER
    Well...in a sense...yes.

    Quote Originally Posted by Merchant of Venice View Post
    I've only just discovered this AAR but what an AAR this is! You have truly made us both love and hate the characters the way only a great author could.

    One question though his love for his wife waning? Because I think I would be truly sad if it was. But then not everything ends happily ever after!
    Thank you for the generous comment. I'm seriously happy that you love and hate my characters, but I know my way of portraying them is still under-improvement. Nevertheless, I thank you for the encouragement. And you may or may not be right about happily ever after, but for now I can say that his love for his wife has indeed waned...

    Expect the next update in...48 hours. Yeah.

    Swaeft's Scribblings (Library)| Swaeft's Snaps (Gallery)| My Blog (The Lensation)

  20. #200
    Shankbot de Bodemloze's Avatar From the Writers Study!
    Citizen

    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Midlands, UK
    Posts
    14,834
    Blog Entries
    2

    Default Re: [SS 6.4] To Change our Fate: Reforging Sicily with Steel and Heart ~Chapter 21, 20/1/13~

    I don't know what all the fuss is about... it is okay I guess....



    A great AAR I must say. I'm still on catch-up, I've just go to the point before that major battle outside Alexandria. Looking forward to reading your latest updates.
    THE WRITERS' STUDY | THE TRIBUNAL | THE CURIA | GUIDE FOR NEW MEMBERS



    PROUD PATRON OF JUNAIDI83, VETERAAN & CAILLAGH
    UNDER THE PATRONAGE OF MEGA TORTAS DE BODEMLOZE

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •