Cthulhu Fhtagn - A Civilization 5 MP AAR
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:Cahoma and I will be doing dual AARsof the same Civilization 5: God and Kings. I will be playing as the “R’lyehian Expeditionary Force” or in the heathen tongue “Egypt”. Our goal will be to conquer the globe in the name of our dark master, Cthulhu, extinguishing the lives of all un-believers in our path.
4000 BC: The R’lyehian Expeditionary Force (REF) was blessed with an excellent landing site, and the capitol city of R’lyeh was founded where the mother ship crashed. Our people will rise out of the sand and envelop all nations.
3920 BC: The God Cthulhu blessed us with the secrets of archery.
3690 BC: The first R’ylehian scout was dispatched from our capitol to subjugate heathens.
3480 BC: We have sited our first major neighbors on this land. They call themselves “Indians” we will have to be cautious around them.
3400 BC: WE HAVE DISCOVERED THE CAHOMIANS. WAR MUST BE DECLARED.
3280 BC: Our first social policy was adopted. We chose Liberty to further honour Cthulhu.
3200 BC: We have encountered the third major neighbor in this strange land. The ones called “Ethiopians”. Not only are they of a strange skin colouration, but they have adopted a false pantheon of gods. This will not be allowed.
3160 BC: We have wisely chosen to adopt “republic” as our second social policy. All hail Cthulhu!
2560 BC: Under the advice of our leading council we have decided to adopt collective rule as our third policy. This will also grant us a free settler, something that will be very useful, he is immediately dispatched north.
2440 BC: Our second city has been founded for the glory of our dark lord and master, Cthulhu. It has been titled Thebes, named so in the heathen tongue to appease our neighbors.
2320 BC: R’yleh has completed our second scout, pushing us ever farther towards glory. We have dispatched him towards something the natives consider a natural wonder, but we consider nothing compared to the glory of Cthulhu.
2160 BC: The third city of Memphis has been founded, named after a famous warrior from our history. The REF grows steadily, each now territorial gain increasing the glory of Cthulhu.
1800 BC: The “American” civilization had been encountered. They seem like total pussies and must be crushed.
1640 BC: We have chosen Citizenship as our fourth social policy, despite the possibility of it implying our “Citizens” have freedoms.
925 BC: The first heathen “religion” has been founded. The followers of “Christianity” have begun spreading their heathen and totally silly religion throughout the world. They will be stopped.
850 BC: The social policy of “representation” has been adopted, giving all of our citizens freedom to be slaves or sacrifices. The pure magnitude of decisions they now have has caused a golden age to dawn on our empire.
800 BC: The religion of “Inflamed Loins” has been founded in the holy city of Rome. We thought the Romans our friends till this day, but now we know the truth. They will be purged like all the other heathens.
675 BC: CthulhuHenge has been completed in our glorious metropolitan capitol of R’lyeh. This structure has been deemed by many to be a world wonder.
[IMG]http://i.imgur.com/JoS8Uh.jpg[/IMG]
550 BC: We have founded a pantheon of gods! One god for each of our dark lord’s mighty dark tentacled appendages, our only hope is to be noticed by his greatness and to have blessings bestowed upon our people.
425 BC: Our forth city of “Heliopolis” has been founded near a beautiful river (The river is used to kill unwanted children) for the glory of Cthulhu.
250 BC: Our dark god’s will has been done! We have finally accomplished our foremost goal upon this strange new world. We have formalized our worship of the dark god Cthulhu into an official and well respected religion. Cthulhuism has been founded in the holy city of R’lyeh.
225 BC: We have finally finished the “Liberty” social policy tree, providing us with a free great engineer. Long Italian name has been born in R’lyeh, he will bring much glory to the REF.
75 BC: The Hagia Cthulhia has been completed in the capitol city. This structure enhances our people’s faith greatly, causing a great prophet to rise up and lead our religion to new heights.
300 AD: The national road network has finally been finished, linking all cities together, with the exception of the newest city, Elephantine.
740 AD: Centuries of peace and eventfulness has permeated the REF. But a great prophet has once again embarked forth to spread religion to the world, his first stop at Milan.
800 AD: The glorious metropolis of Memphis has begun production of the Mosque of Cthulhu, hoping to bring glory to the realm. If Cthulhu is willing, another civilization will not cheat us out of our glory this time.
960 AD: Cthulhuism has spread far beyond our holy city, going so far as to permeate the minds of the people residing within the city state of Sydney.
1000 AD: The great Mosque of Cthulhu has been completed in the glorious metropolis of Memphis, spreading the name of Cthulhu far and wide throughout the land. As if to commemorate this great event, a great prophet has risen up in R’lyeh to spread the word of the true lord.
1040 AD: The mercantilism social policy has been chosen, further increasing the wealth and science of the REF. (Yes I know I forgot to mention the other two policies in Commerce sorrrry )
1070 AD: Our brilliant great prophet has expanded the faith of Cthulhuism like none before him, but all great things must pass. He tragically died whilst spreading the truth of the dark prince in Geneva.
1160 AD: WAR WERE DECLARED. Rome violated our alliance by destroying one of our roads with its scouts. Therefor the REF supreme high god council voted and has decided to declare war on the treacherous Romans.
1170 AD: The Roman war machine moves inexorably towards Heliopolis.
1180 AD: The troops line up as the first shots of the war are fired.
1190 AD: The REF forces begin inflicting heavy casualties on the Roman legions, top generals suspect that the Romans won’t be able to hold out for much longer against the unlimited waves of REF soldiers.
1200 AD: Top generals were clearly wrong, as Heliopolis fell the next turn. Though the same top generals suspect it will be recaptured in no time.
1220 AD: After much blood shed and a failed Roman attempt to set the city ablaze, Heliopolis is once again in REF hands, albeit much smaller than before.
1240 AD: The REF are forced to surrender to the Roman Empire after a series of crushing defeats, ceding 1 incense and 200 gold to the heathens.
1250 AD: We have accepted yet another Commerce Social Policy, granting us +2 happiness per luxury resource, the people take to the streets with ecstasy!
1460 AD: With neither the REF nor Roman Empire having the upper hand in a direct war, both sides begun stockpiling arms on the border.
1515 AD: The leaning tower of Cthulhu completed in R’lyeh, a structure so tall and magnificent it leaned towards the ground, as if bowing to Cthulhu.
1565 AD: Upon orders from REF high command, REF forces began launching artillery shells over the border and into Roman lands.
1570 AD: After a half decade long battle on the front lines the REF generals begin to realize they are losing after they take heavy losses in most battles.
1580 AD: Much to the chagrin of the REF people, the government had concluded that the war would never end at its current rate, and therefor that it would be pertinent to sign a white peace with the heathen Roman Empire.
1590 AD: Cthulhuford University completed in R’lyeh, this “world wonder” will be a model of excellence in education for centuries to come. Rival civilizations can only dream of such a successful school.
1655 AD: The beautiful city of Alexandria was founded on the war torn border between the REF and Roman Empire, which will hopefully provide safe haven for REF troops battling on the front lines, and to provide artillery support should it be required.
1675 AD: Due to the great differences and the hatred welling up inside the REF civilians, the government felt it necessary to once again declare war on their hostile neighbor, the Roman Empire.
1690 AD: After years of fighting, REF and the Roman empire were forced to once again sign a white peace. In addition to the white peace, both sides agreed to dis-arm their borders and to place embassies in each other’s capitals.
Aaaaand, that’s it. Perhaps we'll pick this up later on.
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Originally Posted by Lord Oda Nobunaga
I want to see Cahoma's side of events. Or is the end of a very very short AAR?
