Results 1 to 7 of 7

Thread: TotW 148: Back down south - WINNER

  1. #1

    Default TotW 148: Back down south - WINNER

    Back down south



    Confederate Jeb makes it twice in a row as he storms to a convincing victory over worthy foe. Is this the start of a prolific run? Congratulations to Jeb and a big well done to all of our participants!

    The Winning Tale The sound of other human beings entering my car awoke me from my deep sleep. A young couple, British tourists, took their seats at the table across from my location, not noticing my presence. The woman was spouting such nonsense as "Oh darling, Rome was simply beautiful, I wish we could have stayed another month or two! But I found the locals to be simply unwelcoming" and "The hotel was simply marvelous, but the service was simply dreadful." Simply this, simply that. Insults about Italia, her king, and her people. I felt the need to tell her to "simply" leave Italia and go visit other countries, but my good manners prevented me. Sadly, she continued on with her complaints for a good fifteen minutes.

    "And this train! Darling, it is simply not to my liking. The train is simply of poor design, and the cars are simply too old to be used to transport vacationers around this country."

    "The locomotive is state of the art, a model 4-6-2. Or a Pacific, as most people call them." I blurted out sharply, as if on reflex.

    "I beg your pardon?" The woman appear quite flustered to learn that someone else was in their car. Their car, ha!

    "I know a great deal about locomotives, madam. I worked on the railroads in my youth, serving simply wondrous visitors such as yourselves with simply delightful food."

    "Are you making fun of me? You have some nerve." Her face was turning a very vibrant red.

    "No, madam, you have some nerve for visiting Italia and insulting her good people. I suggest you simply leave my car and simply make your way back to Britain." I couldn't stop myself, it simply felt too good.

    "Your car? Why on earth is this your car? I don't see your name engraved anywhere."

    "Madam, let me be straight with you. Tomorrow I will board a boat to Tripolitania where my days will be spent dodging bullets and praying to God that artillery shells do not land on my head. If this is the last day that I will ever have in Italia, then I will not spend it listening to your complaints about Italia or her people."

    The woman stood up, appalled by my remarks, and had begun to open her mouth when her man leaned over and whispered something into her ear. A look of confusion and rage overtook her face as she made her way outside of my car. Presently the man slowly headed towards the door, but not before staring deep into my eyes and saying those words. Words I would never forget.

    "I know your pain. When I had one day left until my deployment to South Africa, I felt a hollowness inside me that could not be mended by words or time. Only my return to Britain would cure me. So I resolved to live and return to my native lands. Do not lose faith; rather, endeavor to see your beloved Italia once more."


    You can see the submission thread and poll thread here and here respectively.
    Takeda - a Shogun 2 AAR (Completed) Reviewed by Radzeer
    My writing | My art | About me | MAARC | TotW



    ~~~Under the proud patronage of Radzeer, Rogue Bodemloze. Patron of Noif de Bodemloze and Heiro de Bodemloze~~~

  2. #2
    Rex Anglorvm's Avatar Wrinkly Wordsmith
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    1,256

    Default Re: TotW 148: Back down south - WINNER

    Congatulations to Confederate Jeb (again)

    Rep+
    Rex Anglorvm's Pile of dusty books - A collection of my writing.
    A Whale Riders Journey |A Dark Ages Viking Saga
    Rich man, Poor Man, Beggar Man, Thief | A 1930s Gangster's Story





  3. #3
    Paraipan's Avatar Yari-hei
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    143

    Default Re: TotW 148: Back down south - WINNER

    Congratulations Confederate Jeb. Very good story and the fact that all the voters voted (voters voted???) your story proves this.

  4. #4
    Confederate Jeb's Avatar Picks the Wrong Hobbies
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    North Carolina
    Posts
    19,289

    Default Re: TotW 148: Back down south - WINNER

    Quote Originally Posted by Paraipan View Post
    Congratulations Confederate Jeb. Very good story and the fact that all the voters voted (voters voted???) your story proves this.
    Wow, thanks guys. I just noticed that. And here I thought it was humbling enough to win just once.
    Last edited by Confederate Jeb; July 24, 2012 at 07:00 PM.

  5. #5

  6. #6
    Shankbot de Bodemloze's Avatar From the Writers Study!
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Midlands, UK
    Posts
    8,118

    Default Re: TotW 148: Back down south - WINNER

    Congratz mate, a great tale - and now there is no need for me to review it. +rep

  7. #7
    Boustrophedon's Avatar Grote Smurf
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Belgium
    Posts
    3,185

    Default Re: TotW 148: Back down south - WINNER

    Good tale and pretty picture ^^


    The Travel Lodge TotW MAARC/BAARC Creative Writing

    Under the patronage of the magnificent General Brittanicus

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •