Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 20 of 31

Thread: The Critic's Quill: Issue 34

  1. #1
    Juvenal's Avatar love your noggin
    Patrician Content Emeritus

    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    The Home Counties
    Posts
    3,465

    Default The Critic's Quill: Issue 34


    The Editor Speaks
    Hello and welcome to Issue 34 of the Quill. Now this was intended to be the June issue of the Quill, but due to my sloth it seems to have somehow lurched into July.

    Luckily the team have been very productive and as a result we have a substantial issue comprising six reviews and seven articles, as well as the normal news coverage.

    While I have been snoozing in the Quill Pressroom, the world of TWC has been progressing and evolving. I notice that the Writers' Study has become a bustling well-run flagship for communal activity at TWC, it even has its own News service! (which I shall be plagiarising shamelessly from now on).

    You will find links to all the reviews and articles directly below.

    Juvenal (Editor)

    Table of Contents

    Monthly AAR Competition Section

    MAARC XXXVII
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

    1st place: Takeda - A Shogun 2 AAR by robinzx

    Winning once again robinzx and his Takeda prove that they've got what it takes to win in a largely RTW and M2TW environment. Well done. The AAR is drawing to a close, but how it does remains a mystery. There are a few loose ends, and we are all looking forward to seeing how robinzx pulls it off in one masterful stroke. Will Takamasa achieve his dreams, or perish like so many others? Will Shingen untie Japan, or fail like so many others? Will the Uesugi be true to their alliance, or commit treachery like so many others? You'll have to read to find out!

    2nd place: The Nowhere Legion by SeniorBatavianHorse

    The mastermind behind the AAR anthology proves he is as good at writing AARs as he is at editing them. SeniorBatavianHorse and his Nowhere Legion prove that the old warriors of Rome are more then a match for the competition. An AAR subject to much acclaim, we are all wondering what fate will befall the Nowhere Legion next. Read on! If you can't wait 'till you log on to TWC this AAR is also available to download as an electronic format, so if you're interested PM Mr Senior, I'm sure he'll be happy to point you in the right direction.

    3rd place: Restoring Rome by Schrödinger

    The dark horse of the competition. Schrödinger achieves third place once again in the following month, and shows that Rome is really being Restored. Volume 1 has ended with the death of a ruler, and we're itching to find out how Volume 2 will begin - but with questions over succession it can only be interesting. The AARs on a bit of a pause at the moment, so it is the perfect time to catch up. Read it, comment, and read it again. All that remains is to come first next month!

    Creative Writing:
    Not all writing at TWC is for competitions. The Creative Writing forum is a place for you to express yourself just as the mood takes you. Please go over and check it out, a lot of the stuff is brilliant and we've got a host of new writers who need some comments.

    STOP PRESS! Voting for MAARC XXXVIII began on the 2nd July, so don't forget to get over there and vote!

    Coverage by Shankbot12



    Tale of the Week Section

    Tale of the Week: May/June News
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    This month in TotW has seen a host of new writers, as well as some old veterans returning. Alongside some interesting pictures and key-words on offer, the selection of tales this month has been exemplary, and although there has been only ten winners everyone has made a huge effort. It is people like ybbon66 and ΩDerpy HoovesΩ (who have only missed one and two weeks respectively) that keep TotW as one of TWC greatest contests. Of course it is also the new regular writers like Time2Kill, Mr Harold, SamWarrior, Yeepeep and many more that have kept the number of submissions very high. I'd like to take this moment to thank all of you guys for competing, it has been a great month.

    The winners have already received their accolades, so I thought I would feature some of the non-winning Tales that stood out for me this month. Fate may have denied them victory, but I feel they deserve some extra love:

    TotW 133 - A Brief Respite:
    This tale by EvilNelson666 is about a man who loves the night, but hates where he is, and is asking the night to take him away. It ends with the man's realisation that he needs a wife. It stood out to me because, and I'm being honest here, it's layout. It looks like some-sort of poem, and whether or not that is what the author intended I do not know, but whilst reading it I often found myself chuckling at some of the lines and I thought the structure was good. There are a few small errors, but that didn't stop it being an enjoyable read. With a few minor tweaks it would have been fantastic - and it is a shame it didn't win.
    Spoiler for The Tale

    Ahh…the night is sweet mistress, who smiles upon me during my time in this wretched place.
    I for one appreciate her, and cherish these moments together.
    I however do not appreciate this desolate rock.
    Ugh, why must I be place here?

    Never had our enemies venture this far into our realm, let alone heard of this place.
    I look around the environment on the top of my watchtower, after all… It’s was my job.
    The ocean slowly crashes the rocks at the beach with such calmness.
    The sound when it makes, such a soothing sound!
    Always put my mind at ease.
    The sky with its stars and the beautiful moonlight, rival the shine of my sword.

    Never had I felt so in solitary, when on this place.
    I thought about it. Alone?
    Hah! I have the night mistress.
    Oh, mistress how I love you!
    Like a spider enjoying it preys after devouring it, as one odd American soldier would say.

    Oh, night mistress!
    Whisk me into your arms; wipe my troubles, loneness, hardship from the sweat of my brow to the cold depth of me’s aching body.
    Take me and show me the stars and planets with your infinity knowledge of the universe.

    Let us dine in the moon, have a radeo-I think that how the Americans would pronounce that strange word- on a rouge Asteroid.
    Let us make love till the sun come up, even invite the moon to join in.
    Let us….Err…Let us…. Oh, what a SHAMEFUR DISPRAY!

    *Sigh*
    I need a wife.


    TotW 134 - Sound the Horn:
    Time2Kill's tale follows the build up to an almighty clash, focusing on how the men prepare for the inevitable. It is a particular good tale by one of the newer writers, as in 248 words the author has captured the emotions of the men before they march off to battle, which I'll wager is more difficult then you think. My only critique would of been that he could of made use of the 500 word limit to really develop the story, but after all that is the authors choice. Another submission worthy of winning, it's a shame there is only one winner. Keep submitting mate!
    Spoiler for The Tale

    Through the night the sound is soft. There are always a few horses stirring. There are always riders securing the camp. The sound doesn't stop, it is the heartbeat of the gathered host.

    The horn echos through the valley; the first assembly call.

    Warhorses begin to pace. The great beasts paw the earth as they stand for tack and armor. Men hear the sounds of the camp, but not the rising drum of hooves. Like their own hearts quickening to wakefulness, it is a constant background, present always beneath their awareness.

    Again the horn; the second call.

    Riders climb into their saddles. Units gather. The sound of a hundred hundred hooves rumbles in the still morning air. Miles away the enemy knows they are coming. In the camp the riders joke as soldiers will, or utter quiet prayers. They do not raise their voices. It is louder, but it is no more for them to speak over it than it is for them to speak over the beating in their own breasts.

    The final call.

    Units form into columns. Flankers extend to their posts. Bands of outriders gallop ahead. Like a mighty beast the host begins to move. The sound rises to a roar that shakes the hills. Still it is not heard by the cavalry. It is their heartbeat, their background.

    The cavalry doesn't notice the sound as long as it continues. Like their own heartbeat, they will not be around to notice if it ever stops.


    TotW 135 - The Governor's Daughter:
    For this weeks contest I have picked Schrödinger's tale of a dockside whore whose plans go askew. What I liked about this tale was the line of dialogue at the beginning, as the author went to some effort to try and make it sound realistic, and also the description which is pushed across to the reader, you really get a sense of 'being' there and what the atmosphere is like. In my opinion the plot all happened a bit quick, but I guess that can't be helped in under 500 words.
    Spoiler for The Tale

    "Oi! Darlin'! Choo fancy a red silk? Lavverly silk, just choor colour! Genuine kosher!"

    The hollers of hawkers filled Michelle's world as she moved through the dockside hubbub, slipping her slim way through the hustle and bustle, ignoring the raucous rapscallions of the riverways who ended up at the dockside, basking in the sunshine like absurd flea-ridden sea lions. Like on a noxious turd, a greenish miasma was exuded from the much-abused surface of the river, shimmering in the air and making the ships that rocked in the gentle swell semi-invisible. Swathed in their unearthly mystic shrouds, they could perhaps be the abodes of the Gods.

    As one shook to a familiar rhythm, Michelle wondered if there was a God of Whores.

    There was a scream from the smog-ridden central districts that did not break the general hubbub for a moment. She concluded that probably not. Tripping gently up the stairs like a sand-fly on a rock she made her way round to the Isle of Dogs and the small harbour on the westside there. Down the humped otherside of the bridge and onto the little isle in the middle of the slow river, which moved like a slowly rotting fishskin in the broiling heat.

    Outside the ship, she could hear the faked platitudes and groans that suggested a sister.

    Staring the young boy in the eye and biting her lower lip, she told him to bring the captain. Satisfied by his swift obedience and reddened cheeks, she briefly checked the hilt of the dagger in the back of her belt. Not allowing a trace of her thoughts on her face, five minutes later she was laughing on the inside of a cabin with her head (and body) in it's best position in dark shade. Her eyes did not close for a second, but the captain's did and he stretched his aims out to grope her. Long her nerves had been dulled, but she did not expect him to be so quick. A brief tussle. She was lying panting on the bed, with the wrong kind of blade at her throat.

    "Once I was like you, a young bladewhore who gave a cut for every thrust. Better than you, of course, for now I have a ship. Yes, I am no man. My ladies have been watching you for weeks, you will do well here... will you turn your dagger to my service?"

    Gulping indelicately, she nodded, the captain smiled but did not move

    "I hope so, for I am a God of Whores and should you cross me I shall cut you."


    TotW 136 - For the Emperor:
    A TotW regular has had their tale picked for this weeks viewing. ybbon66 has competed in all but one of this month's TotW competitions, and in this case it is quality and quantity. His story for this weeks is a conversation between an Admiral and Captain, about how they are too deal with an enemies fleet. What makes this tale stand out is that is is entirely speech, whilst this may deter some people, the author manages to pull it off brilliantly. Being entirely made up of speech, the use of speech marks may have made it easier to follow, but it doesn't take away the enjoyment of the tale. Great work mate, now try and compete in all of next months ones.
    Spoiler for The Tale

    Admiral-General Sir!
    Report Ensign.

    We have sighted the Kyrinians Fleets sir. 1 million km off of the Kessel twins. Their first fleet has deployed in a spray formation, the heavy cruisers surrounding the capital ships with destroyer and corvette squadrons to the front. General Okobo has asked to use his own pursuit squadrons to harry and remove them from our path.

    Very well, let him know he can continue with that plan but to be aware of the particle beam and rail cannons from those Capitals. I'm not stopping to pick up pieces if he gets blown apart.

    Aye Sir.

    Captain LaFleur, to me.

    Sir.

    What about their other fleet?

    Best estimates are that it is smaller than the main fleet and behind it, we think..

    Best Estimates! You think!
    Captain, I'm not sure which fool came up with that intelligence but I swear they will be living a life of darkness in some deep dungeon if we survive this!

    Sir? But Sir, how..?, what..?

    Captain, I will repeat this once and once only. I expect my flag officers to need but a single briefing. Their efficiency and ability is a reflection of my abilities and command and I will not be taken for an idiot. Got it?

    Sir!

    Not once, in 200 years of war have the Kyrinians ever put a large fleet, or ship or even a larger damn Kyrinian in front. They always lead with a small fleet. That second fleet is going to be larger and worse than that sad little cat's paw they have out front.

    Sir.

    So you better get some backsides kicked into gear, we need to smash through that front line like a good old fashioned cavalry charge. Get those ion cannons fired up, all shields to the front and push them out by 100,000 km. We're going to use them to disrupt their ranging, and when they adjust to the extended range, drop shields and give them a good old-fashioned broadside as we pass by. They can feel the heat from our exhaust, by the time they get their ugly faces around that we'll be closing on the 2nd fleet.

    Sir, got it!

    Admiral Cato is to follow 500,000 km behind us, when that first fleet gets it in their heads we're past them and they need to turn, he can wipe them out and then come rescue us if we need the help.

    Admirals Roberts and Chang will swing out left and right respectively and pincer that 2nd fleet.

    Sir.

    And Captain?

    Sir?

    For the Emperor of Kardasia, send him a message, exactly as I say:

    Sir?

    Up Yours, LMAO.

    Sir!


    TotW 137 - Tea Party:
    This tale was SamWarrior's début, and what a début it was. It is about a son trying to find his father amidst the Boston Tea Party, and trying to stop him before he does something stupid. Sadly, although the son eventually finds his father, he blacks out before he can stop him. This was another tale where the dialogue really was superb. It got you feeling as if you were there, and the man was speaking to you. I'd of liked a bit more information, like why it would be a disaster - but considering it was the authors first tale it was excellent, and anyway what do I know, the author went on to win next week.
    Spoiler for The Tale

    Waking up to musket fire is never a good thing. Scratching myself, I slowly get out of bed. “I hope father didn’t leave again,” whispering to myself. I quietly open the door and look in to see my mother is crying with my father gone. Thinking radically I quickly decide I have to find him and save him from himself. It’s the only way to keep him from leaving us. He can’t die! Quickly turning away before I’m seen, I rush to the door to get my jacket on.

    I run outside the door hurrying to the docks. “Why is he trying to get make trouble for our family” I thought.” I saw him stash his Indian clothes away, I should have stopped him.”

    I start sprinting harder, trying to push the tears back. “Just a few more blocks” I say to myself. “God please keep it from being a slaughter.”

    Slowing my pace I turn around the corner. Stopping, out of breath I slowly move the gaze at the horror unfolding. “This can’t be happening; my dad is going to ruin our lives!”

    Before me I see the British tea ships my dad was angry about. Sure we had to pay taxes, but that was better than the British laying waste to our city! My heart starts pumping rapidly as I try to thing what to do next. The only thing to yield the pain is to get my father out of there. I must get to him at once.

    On the old wooden boards I see some of my father’s friends smashing a box full of tea with a tomahawk. One of them looks up at me.

    “ ’Ello young Michael, ‘ere to join your ol’ father in the party?” says a greasy grey man with a ragged beard. “No Eager, my Mother just fell down the stairs and smashed her head,” I lie with my mind racing fast. “I need to get him home as soon as possible!”

    “Wha?! Oh yo’ father is on that ship over yer, hurry with god speed!” Eager quickly spat out as he threw a box over board.

    Running off the ship I run toward the area where my father is. Before I reach there I look farther out the horizon and I see armed British ships. Running as fast I can try to prevent a disaster I run to where my father is.

    “Father quick come here we need to go, Mother is in danger!” I scream. My father looks at me suspiciously, then he lets out a hardly laughter. “ Ahh Junior, I know your worry about me but this isn’t about you or me, it’s about our liberty,” he says with loving eyes.

    “No!” I say feeling dizzy, my brains not working. Too much is going on, why can’t I think? I stumble back feeling the air, water, then before I black out I watch my dad catch me as darkness floods in.


    TotW 138 - Age of Assassins:
    Mr Harold, who I believe is a relatively new face to TotW, tale is about a man and a women who are searching for an Assassins tomb in the desert, long story short the man is betrayed by the women (it's always the way...) and the women brings back loads of Assassins. Sounds good? I thought so too. It is a great tale, the dialogue was good, as was the description. He could of made full use of the word limit to give some further information to the plot, but that is just a minor thing.
    Spoiler for The Tale

    "I can hardly believe we found it." Said a staggered and amazed John, pulling the rag from the lower half of his face, revealing the clean skin around his jaw - a staunch contrast to the rest of his dirty features.

    "I told you it’d be in here, the legends aren’t just children’s tales you know John." Elizabeth’s voice was softer than John’s, but her delicate skin was just as filthy.

    Hunched over what John had in his hands, they studied its surface. The jewel in the center had a sheen and luminance so royally blue, it was as if it had been polished everyday for millennia, not lying in a tomb.

    "Well, the first part of the story is true. The Pharaoh’s Amulet does exist. If the second part is true, I’ll eat my ruddy hat." John looked up at Elizabeth with a vivacious and self sure smirk.

    "If only you had knowledge as bountiful as your arrogance, my dear John."

    ~


    "Is this it?" Demanded John, with deflation in his voice. "This is The Assassin’s Crypt? This is what we've been traipsing around the desert for?" Before them was a circular slab of stone in the sand, no bigger than a wagon wheel.

    "John, my love, you must learn to look before you cast doubt." Elizabeth said in a patronizing tone, bending over to dust off the slab. Underneath the sand, there was a network of intricate etchings in the stone, that all seemed to gesture towards the center, where there was a deep, peculiarly shaped gouge.

    "It seems a mere layer of sand was enough of a disguise to throw you off the scent." She said, smiling over her shoulder at an embarrassed John.

    "Enough mocking, what does it say?" He questioned excitedly.

    "Here shall Ptah be cursed to roam for an eternity. Let this be a demonstration to those who defy the Pharaoh." Elizabeth read, whilst pressing the amulet into the gouge. It was as if she was taught how to open the seal. The slab rotated and split into two, revealing a staircase. The sand poured in before settling.

    "Lizzy! How did you–" John’s question was cut short by the presence of a blade at his throat – with Elizabeth at the hilt.

    "Sorry John." Were the last words that John would hear before his demise at the tip of his spouse’s dagger. Elizabeth turned and walked remorselessly into the crypt, sheathing her blade. She descended the stairs, before walking into the small and dusty room at the bottom, holding the amulet in front of her like a torch.

    "Ptah! Rise, my ancestor, my creed brother! The creed has been preserved, the prophecy fulfilled! The power of the Pharaoh’s Amulet has broken the seal, and you are freed of your curse." There was a crumbling, cracking, and then groaning noise in the darkness.

    And thus, the Age of Assassins was reborn.


    TotW 139 - The Avengers:
    This weeks contest sparked some... interesting, to say the least, discussion in the commentary thread. Maximinus Thrax's tale is the one that stuck out to me, and rightly so. It is a classified report, so read at your own risk, about a special agent who is observing 'The Avengers', I found some lines rather funny, but whether that was intended or not I don't know. It ends with this agent requesting more money for food, as people have started wearing tinfoil hats! My only 'problem' is that it is somewhat of a fan fiction story, and whilst many people enjoy this type of genre, it is something I don't always like. Fear not though, the author has pulled it off brilliantly.
    Spoiler for The Tale

    CLASIFIED INFORMATION



    To the glorious Council of HYDRA,

    Our worst fears have been finally confirmed. Acting faithfully according to your wise instructions, I’ve been shadowing continuously the flashy headquarters of the Avengers (the only detail missing is a neon sign atop the roof…) for the last two weeks, using my infallible telepathic superpowers. Two days ago, while controlling the mind and body of one of their janitors, I succeeded at infiltrating him inside the secure communications room, the place where the operations plans and all manner of dossiers are being stored for safekeeping purposes. Unhindered on account of being a familiar face, the old man snatched several informal notes laying on a table. After having browsed through the papers, I must report that every one of those do-gooders is convinced that an imminent danger is looming over the entire planet. I’ve been able to figure out several pieces of the puzzle and it seems that Loki, the brother of that Asgardian mindless brute, plays a prominent role in this affair. The background is unclear but he somehow managed to secure the aid of a powerful alien race, in order to achieve planetary domination. I highly suspect that this event would be only the first stage of his nefarious plan.

    Yet, despite such an obvious threat, the do-gooders do not appear to care as much about it, at least for the moment. How unfortunate that the common citizen is not aware about the degree of depravity residing in the minds of the so-called epitomes of righteousness! For example, Tony Stark’s primary thought is that his physical prowess is waning as he ages, ultimately affecting his relationships; since he’s not a fan of pharmaceutical products, he works day and night to develop a high-tech device which would eventually enhance a certain body part of his.

    Meanwhile, Thor the Asgardian is head over heels in love with Natalia Romanoff, the latest addition to the team, also known as Black Widow. The fool even commissioned a painting depicting her as Venus emerging from the sea in an oyster shell. Little does this inane boy know that the cunning Natalia is used to manipulate the males like they were simple toys.

    Captain America still struggles to adapt himself to modern times. His grumpiness annoys the rest of team, especially Stark.

    My task regarding the activity of the Avengers is not yet completed (much to my dismay…). More likely that I’ll remain at my observation post for another week. With these final words I conclude my present report.



    Special Agent Mentallo


    PS: The population of New York has been thoroughly informed about a possible alien threat. Now, even the hot-dog vendors are wearing tin foil hats, therefore I can no longer manipulate their minds for the purpose of obtaining some food for free because my mental powers are rendered useless because of that ridiculous headgear. Please dispatch me some money as fast as possible at the usual location. I haven’t eaten a decent meal in days.


    TotW 140 - That Day. That Fateful Day.:
    ΩDerpy HoovesΩ's tale is set in the authors own fantasy world, and is about a battalion of men preparing to siege a fortress. What I like about this authors particular submissions is the fact that they are all set in a separate world, and whilst this may put some of you off, helpful titles detailing when it is taking place, and the authors natural writing ability makes none of that a problem. My problem with this tale, however, is the one mark, and whilst it is a minor thing, it doesn't really fit into the tale. But, after reading it you'll realise why Derpy has won twice in this month.
    Spoiler for The Tale

    “Did you hear? Our cannons made a breach in the walls last night.” Donovan told me. I could hardly believe it. I had always heard that it was impossible to take Fort Theodoric, much less to even make a hole in walls. It would take the power of a god to break through those walls. It could be true though, so I asked “Donovan, who told you this?” Someone had to have told him, our battalion was nowhere near the walls nor did we have a view of them; or he could be making this up. To be honest I had no idea why we were attacking the fort instead of attacking Theodoricopolis. Our battalion is camped more close to the city than we are to the fort.

    “I overheard the colonel talking to Brig Shortstuff. They were saying how today or tomorrow the general wanted to send a number of those battalions that throw those exploding balls…what are they called again?”

    “Oh you mean grenades? Donovan you should be careful about using that name for the brigade commander. If he heard you call him that, he might have your skin flayed from your back. That is, if you’re lucky. ”

    “Yeah those things. I’m not worried about that useless putz finding out. As I was saying, the two were arguing over how effective those grenade guys would be and if the soldiers could even make it to the walls.”

    “Well, I guess you convinced me. Boy, I wish our battalion was one of those chosen to storm the breach. I can see it now, years after the battle a painting is made depicting the flag of the famous 24th Battalion storming the breach cutting down the cowardly Westmarkans.”

    “Sorry to burst your bubble John, but do you think it is even possible for anyone to make it to those walls unharmed and then make it into the fort? Those ‘cowardly’ Westmarkans would rain musket fire down on anyone approaching the walls, and then in that small hole we made they would bunch guys up and fire at anyone trying to get in. It is suicide to try and take those walls.”

    What Donovan said might have convinced me, had he not told me that a hole was made in the walls. It was said that making any hole in those walls was impossible. Back when Regia owned the fort, Westmarkan artillery failed at making holes in those walls, but now Regia has made holes in the walls and so it is now very much possible for Regia to win.

    “I don’t know Donovan, we have already done the impossible by making a hole in those walls. Taking that fort doesn’t sound that impossible anymore.”

    “Doesn’t matter to me. You can go on that suicide mission if you wish John; me I’ll stay back and guard us against any Westmarkan counterattack. I doubt that will happen, so instead I’ll just pleasure myself in any way I see fit.”

    TotW 141 - Inner Piece:
    This week had some intentionality difficult key words... who picked them? So it was great to have 8 submissions, and for this weeks contest I have picked our very own m_1512's tale. It is about a Captain, reminiscing about previous events and his promotion, and his feelings for a battle that is going to happen sooner of later. The description is great, and the author really makes you feel as if you were there with the Captain. My 'advice' would be to try and make use of the word limit fully, to further flesh out the plot and further improve another worthy winner.
    Spoiler for The Tale

    Another day dawns, bringing with it the morning mist. From some inexplicable reason, I have found the chilly mist extraordinarily refreshing. Indeed, to stand on the deck with a cup of tea was a guarantee of an excellent morning, but not today. For today, we anticipate battle in the high seas. The commodore said so yesterday. The enemy was seen last evening, floating steadily and slowly towards us.

    The message had brought with a strange change in the general atmosphere. The first mate had put on his best suit, or rather his cleanest dress before he went to bed. Now in this early morning, he is pacing around the ship, with a foolish grin on his face. Amusing really, is his way of showing nerves. Our navigator's way was even more amusing. Yesterday, as I sat on deck with my customary after-dinner peg of brandy, he came up to me with a most singular pronouncement.
    'Mars is unusually bright tonight. Tomorrow might bring battle to us, with its violence and chaos' he said and tottered off to bed. As I walked to my cabin, I noticed that the crew on night watch seemed oddly distant too.

    Honestly, even I could not sleep well last night. I simply lay on my bed pondering. Memories poured out in front of my open eyes. The first memory was of the day I received my commission as the captain of a ship. Mother was all tears as she looked at me in my new uniform. Then in the evening, a ball arranged for the occasion by the local squire. Father kept puffing his chest with incompressible pride. He told anyone and everyone that his son has been made a Captain of a ship. In the mayhem of the ball where people kept congratulating and offering drinks, I never really remembered what I spoke that evening. But soon, the chains of memories were replaced by a bout of nerves. Lying on the bed, my insides started churning, like some horrific cannibal meal. I had made a resolve to have only a vegetarian dinner on the eve of battle thereafter. Mercifully, sleep came at last.

    The ships draw near; one of them steers towards us. I cannot help but wonder about its captain. Is he young like me, eager and restless? Or is he a veteran, calm and confident? I shall soon find out. There goes the bell, to rouse the ship. Although my mind is half wishing to have selected another profession, I know that it shall eventually find peace.

    James Scott,
    Captain - HMS Eagle
    Royal Navy.


    TotW 142 - The Old Guard:
    Another début tale, this time by Princess Cadance, who is a bloke before any of you start asking. It is the story of a scout, and how he is making sure the enemy aren't sneaking up on them, sadly for him - they are. The description is excellent, considering how short the piece is, the author really got the mood and atmosphere across, although some dialogue would've done wonders to improve it. Also, more distinction between the change in view point would've been nice, but overall this author is of to a great start, and I'll look forward to their future submissions.
    Spoiler for The Tale

    The Calm of War
    The air blew through the field of wheat slowly, the breeze ever so gently ruffling the sheaves of grain and ever so barely disturbing their existence. This was the life of the plains. Unmoving, unchanging, untouched. Untilled by the hands of man these wild plants simply grew as they wished and pleased. It was enough for them to exist. What more could they want? What more was there? Yet it was fated to be this day that there seemingly eternal rest would come to an end. Running swiftly through there stalks, uncaring of the heads of golden wheat that it crushed beneath it a white stallion ran swiftly through them. This stallion and the rider decked in scarlet cloth and silver armor upon it would bring to these golden fields something they had not seen for a thousand years. War.

    Thasius Dresen stared keenly at the treeline before him. His eyes scanned there length looking for something, anything of interest. The scout, whose rank was more accurately grenadier ran the words through his head over and over again, anything of interest, anything of interest. There was nothing of interest out here. The trees were as quiet as the fields. There was no sign of the enemy army, no clank of their armored troops in movement. The air carried with it no trace of the lilting, sharp tongue the soldiers of the opposing army spoke. No smoke burned in the sky, signaling the placement of camps. The plains and forests before him were as empty as the heads of the idiots back at the fort who had sent him on this fool’s errand. However just as he turned his eyes away from the forest ahead he noticed something. High above him the faintest spark glimmered in the light and a large, black bird swooped in the sky circling the ground beneath. He gazed for a minute as its form moved through the air and pass a cloud, before looking forward once more and starting off. It was only after he had begun to ride away; only after he had turned his back to the creature did he realize something. Feathers don’t reflect the light. Metal armor does.

    Dross watched the white horse run swiftly through the fields of grain. He hesitated for a moment. Would it reach the Imperial lines? Would it even head back to camp? He fluttered his wings in thought, a nervous habit of his. It was only now that he deemed it appropriate to wrench the blackened lance of his from the spine of the soldier beneath. A second’s resistance and the vertebrae snapped the lance’s point tearing out the bodies’ side. He once more turned to the horizon and smiled at what he now saw. The scarlet-clad troops of the Immperia could be faintly seen at the edge of his sight. There pace was slow, he would know, but why let the enemy come to them? The Empereur would be pleased. The Crystalline army was ready.


    That brings us to the end of our coverage, please bear in mind these are just some of the tales we picked out, I strongly suggest clicking on the week to view the submissions, you won't be disappointed.

    Now to all you winners, this month you ain't gonna get a review because... well you won! And that is one point towards a MAARC medal, plus all the rep you get. I will, however, offer my congratz to all of you. As I've said earlier the submissions for this month have been outstanding, and it is a shame there can only be one winner. So will you all join me in giving a round of applause to this months winners. They have all written brilliant tales, not just in their winning weeks but throughout, and it is great to see many of the new writers gaining some recognition. Special congratulations go to Schrödinger, ybbon66, and ΩDerpy HoovesΩ. All three of these guys managed to win not once, but twice. Well done! Of course, the biggest thanks has to go to all the TotW writers this month, without you guys I wouldn't be writing this article. You've all done a splendid job, and I'll look forward to seeing you around next month. Please get round to repping all these guys, they deserve it.... and who knows, maybe I'll get some tales written as well.

    Editor's Note: As he mentioned, Shank has reviewed his own selection of TotW submissions, not necessarily the winners. If you find yoursalf enthused by his scribblings, then here (courtesy of Mega Tortas) are links to the winners, and to the submission threads where you can find all of the entries.
    Winners:Submission Threads:Coverage by Shankbot12



    AAR Review Section

    Heaven's Descent, Cyprus Reborn: A Crusader AAR
    A Sicilian Vespers AAR by Thokran
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

    Today I'll be reviewing an AAR by an author that needs no introduction, so I'm tempted not to give him one - although I will say this: do you know anyone else who is on their sixth AAR?

    You got it! It's Thokran! (and if you didn't shame on you...)

    I've only just joined in on this AAR, and I have to admit it got me hooked almost immediately. Heaven's Descent started way back in 2009 when Thokran was a young tyro on just his 2nd AAR, but unfortunately, "For a number of reasons, most notably technical difficulties and a lack of desire," the original AAR never got finished. This review will focus on the new and revised version 'Heaven's Descent - Cyprus Reborn.' It uses the Sicilian Vespers mod on the Renaissance Campaign. Thokran is playing as the Kingdom of Cyprus and retells the story of the diminished Crusader Kingdom at the hands of the rising Islamic powers in the east, and how the Kingdom tries to regain the Holy Land - of course alongside all this is the strife, turmoil, and internal politics that only a master AARtist can create.

    In the authors own words as too why he restarted this AAR:
    Recently, I've been inspired to see through the legacy of this AAR's initial story, by continuing it nearly 200 years into the future. While this means that none of the characters in the first part of the story are alive in the second, that does not mean that their actions had no effect on the new characters playing their parts from 1400 AD on. I will be doing my best throughout this AAR, to sort of tie in elements of the original story into plot devices that fuel the story I'm currently working on as I update this AAR. However, they won't be such major elements that require you to read the first part in order to understand the second.
    Thokran makes use of some amazing out-of-game pictures to help illustrate the story, in addition to the usual screen shots. What's different about this AAR is that the non-game pictures predominate. This is by no means a bad thing, especially as his choices are usually fantastic, but more of the games actual pics wouldn't hurt. The in-game screens could be better graphics wise, but knowing the restraints of a not-so-good computer I can't really complain.


    An example of an amazing out-of-game pic selected by Thokran.


    A more traditional, in-game, picture - illustrating crusader forces fighting on a castle wall. The hills in the background are a little 'fuzzy' but we will just have to blame his computer for that.

    Story-telling is where Thokran really comes into his own. With its multiple viewpoints, this AAR really captures the imagination of the reader, and with stand-out characters such as the Evil Queen, we're constantly wondering what is going to happen next. This particular example is from a scene in the Sahara (I'm not going to say how they got there) and shows, how even in the vast emptiness of the desert, clashing opinions alone are enough to bring progress to a halt.
    “None of my business!? It’s my damn business to keep everyone of us alive through this, damn it! I bear the burden of this journey. I am the liable one here. Every death, every loss we’ve suffered…that blood is on my hands! How dare you say this doesn’t concern me!!”

    If it were not for their general weakness and heat exhaustion, they would have surely come to blows. Instead, they continued to bicker, while everyone else merely watched on, too drained to intervene. This was what the desert had led them to…disorder with no means to set things right. The air of defeat and resignation hung heavy in the air as they continued to argue. Still, the Tuaregs remained silent…
    The overall style of Thokran's writing is one of intrigue and plots, and he effectively portrays people's thoughts and feelings towards others and themselves. He also goes against the norm (for AARs) by frequently writing from the POV of female characters. This is not only fairly unique, but allows a lot of leeway in terms of what to write about, and Thokran fully exploits this. He also, diverting from his previous AAR, makes use of dialogue as the main means detailing information to the reader. It works well, and the conversation flows nicely. As you can see it is clear and concise about who is speaking, and we are given a good idea about the character's mood, and how they're feeling.
    "Ugh, I wish you had. I can’t stand that woman you brought along; such naďve stupidity and incompetence! Never mind, I guess it can't be helped. Tell me what you have learned from the West."

    "Sicily and Naples continue to wage their war, and the conflict has only intensified with the disappearance of King Ladislao." Laurence began, only to be cut short by Isabella once more.

    "I could have a peasant mongrel tell me that, you idiot! Tell me something I don't already know!'"

    "Well…" Laurence gulped. Isabella was a very dangerous woman. He had to be careful with his words, lest he suffer for them. "The Venetians have come to a decision, and they firmly support John’s ascension to the throne. They are at your bidding." He hoped that this good news would placate the tempestuous woman’s irritable nature.

    "Good, just as expected." She replied flippantly, standing up to pace around her bed in a slow, deliberate fashion. "Once everything is in order, I'll have my agents take care of my uncle as they took care of my father, so that I may rule through my beloved brother’s reign."

    "I take it you have John firmly under your control?" Laurence inquired, hoping inwardly that his question wasn’t too brazen.

    "Of course, what do you expect of me?" Isabella shot back, laughing haughtily as she made her way towards Laurence. She ran her hands across his shoulders and pressed her chest against his back, leaning in to whisper into his ear. "He's my little puppet, and with him on the throne, I'll be able to do as I wish. Now tell me one more thing, my dear. What can you tell me of my future husband? How has he taken to the city?"

    "Milady…" Laurence stammered, clearly flustered by the princess’ advances. Her sultry and voluptuous figure was a lot to take in from afar, much less pressed up against him. "L-Lord Richard seems...underwhelmed with his accommodations, but is pleased nonetheless to be your guest. He looks forward to meeting you again!"

    "Hmph, I don't blame him." Isabella mused, pushing off Laurence’s back, which forced the diplomat to his knees. "This place is a dump. I'd give it freely to the Ottoman rabble if I could. Sadly, it seems like Sultan Bayezid’s on his last legs, so there’s no point to make a deal with those heathens yet."
    To conclude, you might be expecting an author's sixth AAR to be well polished, and you are unlikelt to be disappointed with one as well-written as this. My only critique is that I wanted more battles, but that is a personal thing, and with how things are going I feel there might be a few approaching from the horizon. If you aren't already reading this fine work then I strongly suggest you hop on board, before our travellers find out what awaits them.

    Coverage and Reviews by Shankbot12


    The Account of Outremer
    A Stainless Steel 6.4 AAR by Viva Espana!
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

    Here I bring you a review of a unique AAR.

    Unique, Sir? My mind's ear catches your disbelieving tone. Well, yes I think it is. This is an AAR started over a year ago, abandoned and now possibly about to be resurrected even though the author will have to recreate the campaign due to having lost all his old save files!

    Unique also because of its mode of presentation. It is the account of one Fratello Benedetto Giusetti de Firenze, an Italian monk commissioned by the Pope to provide an appraisal of the Crusader Kingdom of Jerusalem.

    The opening post quickly and efficiently establishes the context, giving the historical setting and the game settings, then it goes on to explain how having Brother Benedetto as narrator gives allows the author to shape a better and more rounded story, free of the restrictions imposed by using a character from the game.

    Our protagonist immediately endears himself to me in his preface:
    Quote Originally Posted by Brother Benedetto
    I do not deign to believe that my work shall live up to the writings of Fulcher of Chartres or William of Tyre, and my work is thankless, but I hope that from what I write, some poor souls in the future may be enlightened to the plight of Christendom.
    The Story
    Being a report to the Pope, it is possible to include plenty of exposition while still preserving the suspension of disbelief necessary to for immersion in the story. This really helps as the period will be a strange one to many, with the Latin Kingdoms being a small blip in history, soon to vanish without trace. They are strangely cosmopolitan, in the words of the narrator:
    a motley assortment of soldiers, merchants, and pilgrims, all seeking the Holy Land for one reason or another. German mercenaries brush shoulders with Venetian pikemen who drink with Spanish cavalrymen. Indeed, many Spaniards, Germans, and Italians occupy the holy lands now, left from the failed crusade on Damietta, of which His Majesty was a part. I wait to see whether this collection will lead to success or failure
    Just to give an idea of the overall shape of the AAR so far, here is brief skim over the action:
    • The First Chapter gives an account of the Kingdom and of the royal family, it is both well written and rich in detail.
    • The Second Chapter: a year has passed and Benedetto has decided to visit Antioch hoping to see Prince Alphonse. However before he arrives, the head-strong Prince takes off on campaign against the Ayyubids, much to the chagrin of his Father.
    • The Third Chapter: Benedetto continues failing to catch up with the Prince while hearing news of more battles.
    • The Fourth Chapter sees Benedetto trapped in a recently conquered city as its former owners try to reclaim it (the Prince is of course long gone), while the Pope calls for yet another crusade. What would be the outcome? Well, you will just have to read the AAR.

    Writing Style
    Benedetto has a personal story that revolves around his mission, his personal gripes, his analysis of the political situation and assessment of the characters of the nobles he meets. The campaign story is viewed at a distance in both space and time, being relayed through the accounts of people he meets in his travels (meaning that we the readers get these events at third-hand!).

    I think the journal style works very well, it makes the world portrayed feel much more convincing. It is closer to real events we have learned by word of mouth rather than the clear-cut fiction it would have been in the third-person.

    The AAR is beautiful to look at and free from dastardly typos. But the effect of the journal style leaves gaps in the story that the reader yearns to learn more about. It would have been really nice to have more information about the characters and their lives, it really feels like a story that is crying out for foot-notes!

    Pictures and Art
    The visuals are well selected, with a good mixtures of screenshots and artwork from the internet. It is a shame that the author allowed selection markings to remain in the screenshots and they would have been better cropped, but they are still impressive.

    If I had to choose the two best pictures, in-game and out-game, then they would be these:
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    In-Game


    Out-Game


    But I'm not so fond of this.


    The End or a Fresh Start?
    The AAR petered out in March 2011, but then almost exactly a year later the author returned with the intention of maybe resuming it. Unfortunately all of the original save files, together with three chapters are lost due to a computer crash so he is in two minds whether to replay the campaign or start something new.

    Whatever he decides, I think it is going to be worth reading, so why not take a look at The Account of Outremer and judge for yourself?

    Review by m_1512


    The Wolf Among Dogs - The Latin Empire
    A Sicilian Vespers AAR by Radzeer
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    Radzeer has done it again. The author of two classics, namely The Chronicle of a Hungarian Freeman and Primus Inter Pares, has released yet another masterpiece. His AAR is full of life and of the kind of descriptions that pull you out of your seat and into the story.

    Radzeer plays as the Latin Empire and his protagonist is Robert de Loup, a Frankish knight. Robert is the third son of a duke in Picardy. He knows he will not get lands and fortune by his birth so when his older brother, Arnulf, arrives to recruit knights to go to Greece, Robert joins him and they start on an incredible journey.

    The prologue features an introduction to the character and the journey Robert and his brother take to Greece. He tells of his arrival in Athens, and a lively description of the cities of Greece. They then make for Thessalonica in the north. When they arrive however, they find that the city has recently been under siege. During a ride between the corpses and broken siege machines, Robert spots some dogs sniffing at and eating the dead bodies and is repulsed. His brother tells him that this is war, but Robert leaves, fearing he will vomit with disgust.

    In the first chapter, Robert and his company leaves Thessalonica behind to go to the city of Adrianople. They are warmly greeted there, but soon news of a Bulgarian army reaches them. Robert readies himself and they are ready to fight. Robert fights with courage, but lacks the bravery and skills of the veterans. The enemies lose their general in the battle and are soon routed. The chapter ends on a cliffhanger with news of another army coming to Adrianople.

    And that is all I will talk about the story with this review, so as not to spoil it. The AAR has gotten a lot of attention from the readers of TWC, which is natural as it is a great piece of AARtistry, perhaps one of the best I have ever read.


    An example of the beautiful and well set pictures of the AAR.


    Another lovely picture, this one taken from just outside the city of Adrianople.

    So, on to the reviewing part. Radzeer is an amazing storyteller; he captures the moment beautifully and somehow manages to get it down in words. The tale is lively, and the feelings of Robert are well described, especially his concern with having never been in battle.

    Good as it is, Radzeer's English isn't perfect (but then again neither is my Hungarian). If I must quibble then I could point out some inconsistent tenses and the occasional odd word-choice.

    Example:
    But it was not until years later when we learned that he is alive
    Mixed tenses.

    Example:
    but my father expected me to seek fortune in the east too when my time comes
    The idiom is mis-used. It should say "my fortune" since it aludes to success as well as cash and must therefore always have a specific subject.

    The only other thing that struck me was the choice of a safe and clear, but uninspiring font. A tale such as this just cries out for an extrovert font awash with serifs and swooping curlicues to complement the wonderful pictures. It's a shame that TWC doesn't offer anything suitable.

    So, for those who just want to cut to the bottom line:

    Plus: The story is conveyed with confidence and skill, full of detail and life. Emotion is also portrayed well, from the fierce passions of battle, to the longer-term frienships and enmities that define the relationships between the characters.

    Minus: Maybe the English could be more polished and the font could be more exciting, but there is nothing that is going to spoil your enjoyment of this accomplished AAR.

    Review by HeirofAlexander


    An Orc in Skyrim
    A Skyrim AAR by Chirurgeon
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

    I was an adventurer once, till I took an Orc in the face. Now I have no face...

    Today I bring you the work of an old man. And by old we are all assuming that 30 is the new 60. And before anyone actually bothers to think of arguing with me, just accept it. Anyone over 30 is ancient in my eyes and you all belong in a nursing home. As for me, I will never turn 30. I intend to stay 23 forever by the simple expedient of never having a 24th birthday, because as we all know, that is how it all starts.

    I am completely nonplussed why someone that surely must by now need help with basic daily functions is playing video games, let alone Skyrim (I still have only like two hours on it, OMG I KNOW) But then I do know someone else who is apparently 50 (I know, right, even thouh he so doesn't look it) who has played the game in some depth and seems to think I enjoy actually talking about with him. Thankfully I was his boss (as in being deputy stage manager when he was a mere assistant stage manager - a rank I referred to as Bagel Summoners, though we didn't have bagels, we had beer), so that I could stop his old timer ramblings when they became too elaborate for my booze-addled brain. Anyway, the reason why I am slightly excited is that someone of this man's caliber surely has experience, is mature, and slightly smells (like any good cheese).

    I havn't actually bothered to read any of his other work because as I am typing this up I am on pretend holiday. I don't have to work today and the sun is out. So I am outside gently drinking myself into contention and ignoring the idiots of the world. Until I go on facebook. So I apologise for the laziness.

    Our tale begins with Grodash's rule set: basically he cannot go shopping, plays on ninja difficulty and like has to make everything himself with super slow skill progression. Easy there Gramps . Jesting aside with an open ended game you really do have to have a super-tight goal in mind, otherwise it just fails. You end up being distracted or forgetting your own rules. Mad props. Have a neatly mown lawn and a bunch of children to yell at to keep off.

    The introduction concludes with the start of the game proper and we have established that Grodash is no normal Orc. There is no RAEG, or head smashing or breaking rocks apart to eat their babies. In short I was intially dissapointed. I wanted ANGER and mutilation. But I felt compelled to keep reading. I'm glad I did. As the harrowing escape from the rebel alliance ensures that Grodash's inner RAWR ME ORC SMASH finally gets unleashed and he kills the bad guys. Just like how it should be done.

    He is actually dual-wielding maces! Proof here.

    The combat description is fairly flawless and features enough use of a thesaurus to stop me complaining. Well at least I would have had to use one, but maybe he's just old enough to have a better vocabulary then me, if not better spelling at the very least. (Editor's Note: you really don't want to see what this piece looked like before I started guessing what Stealthie had intended to write...).

    As the story progresses Chirurgeon's narrative doesn't feel weak or forced, he keeps it refreshingly smooth and maintains a sense of character and consistancy, which is a rare sight. Perhaps it's the age difference between him and his peers, if peers is the right word? maybe contemporaries, but not in the age sense. Perhaps it's because he's spent a longer time reading good material, or perhaps he's just a stonkingly good writer. Whatever the explanation, his writing flows much better then the majority of the AARs that get thrown onto my lap to read through.

    So as the dour tour de force (in this case a literal tour of Skyrim) continues, the writing and the narrative seem to be evolving in tandem... who knows where it might end?

    (Editor's Note: Stealthie's piece ends abruptly at this point in a large blot that smells suspiciously of Tequila).

    Review by StealthEvo


    The Price of an Empire
    A Napoleon Total Combat AAR by Comrade Chernov
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

    In many cases, popular AARs tend to have complex plots and characters, using the game as simply a backdrop to tell a story. This is particularly true for RTW and MTW2 AARs, because these games have been around for a long time, and simpler, walkthrough-style narratives generate less excitement among the readers. The ETW/NTW field, however, is different. This is partly because these genres have smaller crowds to follow the stories and they have fewer AARs as well, therefore the pressure to write epic plots is less intensive and from an AAR perspective there is still much to discover in the games themselves.

    ETW/NTW AARs seldom reach ten or more updates, because the smaller size of the crowd often destroys enthusiasm after a few chapters. Limited gameplay variation because of fewer mods and a number of bugs that persistently plague the game also hinder sustained storytelling. This is why I was somewhat surprised, but also glad to see Comrade Chernov's NTW campaign as Russia, using the Napoleon Total Combat mod. His OP has a detailed list of options he used for the campaign (most of which I had no idea what they mean - but I don't have NTW so it's no surprise), and also an updated list of links to the individual chapters which is always a nice way to make the navigation easier for the reader.

    The narrative is quite simple, mostly one liners with an ample amount of cursing, CAPS and contemporary puns. The text may be short, but it is nicely complemented by plenty of screenshots that make it fairly easy to follow both the campaign and the battles. In some ways, the storytelling is actually done by the pictures, and the one liners more often than not are just setups for the screenshots. Some of these setups and puns are better than others, but they actually fit to the general style of the AAR. I also like how the chapters start, for example: "Welcome back. When we left off, this was about to happen." This creates continuity, which is particularly important in AARs like this where there is no actual story plot linking the updates.

    In terms of visual aids, Comrade Chernov uses unedited screenshots, both for the campaign and the battle shots. The pictures are in spoilers, which is very important for this AAR style, although I would use more than one picture for one spoiler (for example putting all pictures from the same battle in one spoiler). The campaign screenshots are carefully selected and informative, and work with the text very well.

    The battle screenshots are more mixed, and I have two comments here. The first is that when the graphics settings are set to low(er), which seems to be the case here, one may want to avoid close-ups that highlight the non-detailed textures, especially parts of the vegetation that from close view tend to be the weak point of TW graphics. The second is that it is very important to capture the battle in motion to illustrate the intensity of combat. This is true for the ETW/NTW style warfare too, where a lot of the battle is about marching and battle lines firing at each other. Some of the difficulties of such "motion capture" are probably related to the limitation of the game itself, because combat animation does not allow such dynamic scenes as the melee in RTW or the cavalry charges of MTW2.

    Normally, these issues with the pictures would be less important. The reason I brought these up here is because pictures are vital for following this AAR, as they are supposed to tell the story to the readers and are the main vehicles of immersion. I liked the birds' eye view shots at the beginning of the battles, and the minimap also helps to orient the reader on the battlefield - this is one of those occasions when unedited screenshots work quite well. Below are a few pictures from Comrade Chernov's collection.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 








    In summary I would say that it is important to recognize those AARs that are outside the conventionally preferred epic narrative style and yet are still updated frequently by determined and motivated authors. I encourage everybody to give this a chance and read it. ETW/NTW seems to be the neglected stepchild of AAR activities, which I hope would change some day. Until then, we have those writers who venture there and experiment with various styles. Sometimes it is useful to go out of our comfort zone, and this AAR may be a good place to start.

    Review by Radzeer


    Fry those Furballs!
    A Video AAR for Wing Commander Saga by Aikanár
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

    From the scribe
    If the uninitiated were to take an amble through the halls of the Writer’s Study, he could be forgiven for thinking that the AAR is less “report” and more “historical fiction”. Riddled with prose, these stories cater for the more literary-inclined among us, but they do distort the concept of an AAR. Being a writer of the longer form of AAR myself, my past reviews for this publication have focused on those who are of like minds. It was my realisation of this bias then that has made me return to the roots of AAR-dom. Fry those Furballs! is a work which represents the “reporting” aspect of AARs but simultaneously brings elements to the genre that few others have done with such prolificacy – namely the use of video. The fact the game reminded me of an old personal favourite – Homeworld – added to my intrigue.

    For those unfamiliar with the game series, this is as good a place as any to start:


    A word with the author
    I don’t often place emphasis on the author of AAR’s, preferring to focus on the writing itself, but in this case given the unique format and unfamiliar settings to yours truly I felt it more appropriate for Aikanar himself to give some background to the story and expression his passion for the piece.

    Without further ado:
    1.What attracted you to the Wing Commanders game/series?
    Oh nostalgia kicks in; back in the day, 1990 that is, I was just twelve and was playing games like Leisure Suit Larry or Indiana Jones, UFO X-Com, Civilization, Monkey Island (a likewise revelation of the same year), Battle Isle and other that have not seen the light. Wing Commander then came out of nowhere and completely blew me away. You have to imagine that Wing Commander basically was the first space flight simulation. It drew on a concept yet unknown. It was in space, it was fighting from a first person perspective and it set standards in graphics, gameplay and hardware requirements. You just had to love it.

    2. What motivated you to start an AAR?
    Joy, I waited for this mod to be released like forever. I felt like a little boy again when the download was finished. Since TWC is a mostly focused on, well, TW games obviously, I thought why not present a game whose genre has basically ceased to exist in the early years of the last decade.

    3. The style of your AAR is quite different from other AAR's - almost a video-AAR in a way. Any reason why you chose this format?
    The approach itself came by accident. I desired to present the game, but how to do so with a genre a lot of younger members might not even know about anymore? I just thought it to be the best way to try to suck the reader into the game and maybe enable him to get a feeling of how it might feel to play it.
    Besides, I’m not that much a writer anyway, except when answering questions

    4. What challenges have you faced when doing the AAR?
    First there was Fraps. In my first attempts I used the 30-second freeware version and thus actually played one mission like thirty times to get all the footage needed … it was horrendous.
    So I purchased the licence and it was totally worth it considering my saved lifetime. After this there was only calculating time needed for video rendering and time for uploads which drove me nearly insane sometimes. The AAR is, till now, about 19Gb of vids and pics of published material and it’s not even half done yet.

    5. Where do you see the AAR heading in the future? A sneak peek if you will?
    We’ll see David, the player’s alter ego, fly mission after mission against worsening odds until all seems futile. Those who know the ending(s) of Wing Commander III basically know the ending(s) of this fanmade mod –but from another perspective. Thus it’s still totally possible that, in the end, mankind might lose. I’m playing without reloading if I fail a mission and I’ve not finished the game yet.
    Writing and presentation
    The AAR currently has a prologue and its first arc – The Dark Dawn – which is then further broken down into five chapters. It depends largely on graphical material and videos, and as such writing is kept to a minimal, mainly to bridge gaps in the pictures and explain the plot. The presentation on the other hand is consistent, maintaining a professional look to the AAR. It is the videos that really separate this AAR from any, telling the story of the protagonist as he braves on despite increasingly difficult circumstances.

    Critique
    Given the unique nature of this AAR giving critique becomes a rather different challenge for yours truly, but here are three I’ve cobbled up:
    • Image size – should be kept the same size – or width – to maintain consistency
    • Typos – understandable given the English language isn’t the author’s first, but a spell check could have helped in places. Perhaps this is the purist in me speaking though, since they do little to detract from the experience which is largely visual
    • There are some screens which contain large swaths of text. While the faithful reproduction of game imagery works well I felt these in particular could maybe have been summarised in writing


    Conclusion
    It is the author’s stated goal to dedicate the AAR to his love of the Wing Commander Saga series of games, and his tireless dedication has made for a fascinating piece. Being focused on a non-TW game it clearly hasn’t received nearly the attention such a volume of work deserves. For the uninitiated I recommend you go check out this most unique of AARs.

    Review by robinzx


    Last edited by Juvenal; July 11, 2012 at 03:56 PM. Reason: Fixed ybbon36
    imb39 ...is my daddy!
    See AARtistry in action: Spite of Severus and Severus the God

    Support the MAARC!
    Tale of the Week Needs You!


  2. #2
    Juvenal's Avatar love your noggin
    Patrician Content Emeritus

    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    The Home Counties
    Posts
    3,465

    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 34


    Article Section

    TWC Role Playing Games and Writing
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

    This is a topic into which I have never forayed before. For those unfamiliar with what TWC RPGs are, I'll give a short explanation. I'll also provide brief examples from selected RPGs too.

    RPGs as the name suggests are Role playing games. However, they differ from the general term by a number of fine distinctions. In general sense, role playing games are video games where the player takes control of a character and plays through the story. The TWC version is also similar. However, all these is done by members, and by posts. And most importantly, there is no AI involved, just pure member interactions.

    Now, we come to the important aspect. That is, it's relevance to writing. I can wager that you might be a wee bit surprised by reading this. TWC RPGs are played by posts and replies, and hence writing is a prime feature there. Although, not many who visit might notice. As with writing, the RPGs too have certain key aspects that constitutes it.

    The Characters
    The players when they register create a character which is their identity in the game. The character creation usually consists of 3 things:
    1. Basic descriptive information about the character,
    2. A background story (histroical account) of what the character did before this story begins,
    3. Information such as Strengths and weaknesses, and of course Pictures (if any).

    I'll leave you with examples of Basic description and background story. The two examples are done by Lucius Malfoy and yours truly. Both examples belong to the RPG Beyond Potter.

    Basic Information
    Quote Originally Posted by m_1512
    Percival Lysander Black
    Age: 31
    Occupation: Head of Auror Department & Justice

    Physique Ethnicity: Of Indo-Aryan origin
    Height: 5 feet 11 inches
    Build: Strong and Athletic
    Hair: Black, Shoulder length
    Color of Eyes: Green


    Wand Length: 15 inches
    Core: Dual, Phoenix tail feather intertwined with Dragon heart-string
    Wood: Yew, fashioned from the wood taken from a Staff of a Druid
    Finishing: Finished with a handle resembling that of a dagger hilt

    This wand is perhaps the only wand which has a history of being passed down through generations of a wizard family. The wand makes allegiance to the bloodline, rather than the victor. Should the current master be utterly defeated in a duel or in event of death, the wand immediately shifts it's allegiance to the next kin related by blood.
    Background Story
    Quote Originally Posted by Lucius Malfoy
    One of the former Pure-Blood Lieutenants of Lord Voldemort himself, Viktor Ulf Sverre went into hiding after the fall of the Dark Lord in the end of the Battle of Hogwarts. He began to gather various Death Eaters and Dark wizards into a group that is code-named Knights of Nagini, in honor of the prized snake that belonged to Voldemort...as a sign of his lasting loyalty to the deceased Dark Lord. It is noted that Viktor was originally born, in 1958, under the name Harald Hemming in Hamar, Norway into a family with a great past in the Dark Wizard community. Harald, around the age of 20, was wanted by the Norwegian Ministry of Magic for mass murder of Muggles in the 1970s (including the murder of his family and a few relatives) and imprisoned twice before he was pardoned after a series of rather long trials. After these events, he would change his name to Viktor Ulf Sverre and leave for Great Britain where he would eventually join Voldemort's banner. Since he was a rather low-profiled Death Eater as well as his great knowledge of various creatures and valuable skills as a wizard, Viktor is able to lead a successful secondary life and became Head of Department for Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures; using this position to keep an eye on MoM and seek ways to bring down the Ministry...and as a means of contacting old allies of Voldemort's army.

    Known as a violent and ruthless Death Eater, he is a highly disciplined and patient tactician with a known cunning in his methods. It is hard to read this man's face and know everything about him. Within the Ministry and his department, Viktor is seen as a veteran in the knowledge and handling of Magical Creatures and highly respected for his work and dedication.

    Viktor's hair is of a whitish-blonde color with defined wrinkles upon his face. The Norwegian respects those who utilize power to its fullest potential and serve the will of Voldemort, even in light of his death. His dark eyes are indeed a menacing trait but despite his aged appearance, the Death Eater remains a great threat and highly skilled Dark Wizard among his comrades.
    For detailed view of those threads, visit the following:

    Still wondering what this has to do with writing? Why, this is precisely what any writer would do when he would start making characters for his tale/AAR. For those new writers who are going to start with their AARs, following the above simple points would bring depth into your characters, and also enhance reader involvement.

    The Plot
    This one, I must bow my head down in agreement. There cannot be a definite plot in a game, as it is more of a continuous story spun by the players of the game. But interestingly, sub-plots are quite a feature there.

    Sub-plots
    In the game, sub-plots are known as Events. Events are way to build up the character in the game. They bring rewards and penalties depending on how the player plays it. Events are set by the moderators who act as impartial arbitrators when deciding whether the actions performed by the player succeed or fail.

    Now, for an example of one such event made by Severus Snape in the same game.

    Quote Originally Posted by Severus Snape
    Blackthorne stood on a deserted street corner in downtown London. The plan had worked, and through a combination of charms and discreet spell work, a large number of wizards and even some trolls and giants had escaped detection in the heart of London. This was a feat even Voldemort would gape at, Blackthorne thought to himself. it has been over a year since his last appearance, but in that time he had not been idle. Blackthorne had convinced a good number of dark wizards to follow his leadership, and even a few other beasts of note. His faithful lieutenant, Hildegard, had proven most useful as well. Now the pair stood poised to execute a master stroke. An attack on the ministry itself.

    Usually infiltration or covert means were used to access the ministry. A battle of this scale would be unthinkable, even since Lucius Malfoy led a small group of Death Eaters into the Department of Mysteries all those years ago. This battle would be brutal. This was a battle for control of the wizarding world itself, and Blackthorne felt confident in his chances.

    Hildegard shuffled up next to the man dressed all in black and cackled "It worked! Not a soul in sight! A few security wizards, but they were no much for a quick killing curse. Shall we begin?"

    "Have patience, Hildegard." Came Blackthorne's rough reply. "We need to get the giants and trolls in position near the entrances first. And it must be quiet."

    The blasted trolls had been a nightmare. They wanted to kill, of course, but they didn't quite grasp the concept of a surprise attack or stealth. It took no fewer than ten death eaters casting continuous spells to keep them concealed. Nero and Ferin were on troll duty.

    "Muffliato!" hissed Nero, as he pointed his wand at the troll who had begun to sneeze. "Damn these things! They better be worth all the trouble!"

    "Keep your voice down, Nero." Ferin hobbled across the street on his wooden leg, a gift from an auror more than two years ago, who had severed his leg. He fired a quick charm that repaired a broken wall a giant had crumbled by kneeing it. "I wonder if they can hear this racket"

    The dark procession continued until a large crowd was gathered in front of Blackthorne. He gave the prearranged signal and the host jumped into action. Different groups with fearsome creatures in each darted in different directions. Some filed into a phone booth, others into public restrooms. It had taken some spying, but Blackthorne was confident he had become aware of every secret entrance into the ministry. Soon his Death Eaters would be pouring into the main hall, taking the workers within completely by surprise. Several known werewolves strode past. They were all too eager to avenge themselves on the institution that had kept them dienfranchized. Werewolves were among the easiest to recruit, lepers of society though they were, they were usually very hard people. Their uncomfortable condition strengthened them as fighters. Why couldn't the ministry see their use? Once he was in control Blackthorne would change these policies. The strong must always be favored over the weak.

    Blackthorne's voice bellowed over the eerie silence. "ATTACK"

    At his command cackles and whoops and the deep throated war cries of giants and trolls mingled in the air as they flushed or teleported their way into the ministry's foyer. Death Eaters poured into the main hall, a group at least one hundred strong. Among them fought Hildegard, Blackthorne, Nero and Ferin. A lone ministry employee had the misfortune of getting in the way. Hildegard leveled her wand with an evil smile and shouted "Avada Kedavra!"

    A jet of green light shot across the foyer, reflecting off the black marble of the floor. It struck the employee killing him instantly. Nearby security wizards responded immediately and started attacking. Somewhere, an alarm sounded. Soon sparks were flying in all directions as the battle commenced. Some explosions could be heard at different areas and the columns and various decoration of the foyer were soon either burning or being pummeled into dust by various spells.

    Some lucky ministry officials were able to escape into the floo network before the Death Eaters locked them down. Would they be able to bring help from Diagon Alley, or even farther abroad?
    Right, now its relevance to AAR writing. As I read the narration, I could not help but nod approvingly at the level of detail included in it. Had I realised it earlier, I could had implemented it in my writing early on. The above narration has all it takes to make it interesting -> Detail, Dialogues, and creating a feel of what is going on.

    Legendary/Personal Quests
    This is a feature that I personally like in RPGs. The players can embark their character on various quests. They are soon joined by the moderator who continues the RP with the player. Take this as something like Duels and Challenges of the Writer's Study. Two people spin a story purely from interactive writing.

    I wish I could put the examples as spoilers and quotes here. But due to the lengthy nature of such quests, I have to again put the three quests from Beyond Potter as the following links:
    1. A Headmasters Hunt by Dark Storm, moderated by Severus Snape
    2. To hunt a mockingbird... by Raglan, moderated by m_1512
    3. Trail of the Serpents by m_1512, moderated by Lucius Malfoy

    Battles
    Where there are heroes, there's bound to be battles. After all, everyone likes a bit of action. What I'd like to point out about battles in RPGs is that they are well calculated. The moderators keep track of who is fighting, and who have already yielded. Following this in an AAR might be a good idea. This will make the battle feel more realsitic and also avoid questions like how the unlikely happened. For example, a wounded knight facing 20 men is seen surveying the aftermath of the battle.

    As an example: The Battle for the Ministry

    Conclusion
    So, now we come to the highlight. The point of it all.

    Role playing games gives ample practise in a form of writing what I'd like to call Situational Writing.
    I know, similar to the Tale of the Week, but there is a slight difference. Unlike TotW, there is no winner or loser here. The point here is to interact with other members, and have a fun time. Something as writing for fun.

    But in all seriousness, I would advise writers to try it out. It does gives practice to your writing.

    Some TWC RPGs
    The Consulate: Visit here for news about upcoming RPGs and also propose your own.

    The Roman Struggle: A late Roman Republic RPG.

    God Save the King! (A Medieval RPG): A Medieval English RPG. Also happens to be one of the oldest on TWC.

    Beyond Potter: RPG based in Harry Potter Universe.

    The Final Frontier: A Star Trek RPG.

    A Game of Thrones: A Westeros RPG.

    By m_1512


    How to Write a Battle
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    Writing a battle? (I hear you ask.) Why would we need to know how to do that? Well, whether you're writing an AAR or a piece of historical fiction, writing a battle is usually a key component, especially for the former, and some people find it the most difficult 'scene' to write about. So this is what the article's aim is, to help you write a battle. I plan to cover some different techniques, and to describe situations they are useful in.

    When writing a battle you first need to ask yourself; do I want to compromise information for intensity, or vice versa? The techniques you should choose will depend on your answer and of course, how you use them. You can always decide to go your own way, perhaps to deliver a particular emotional effect, but it is still important to know the rules you are breaking so that you can do it deliberately as part of your overall plan. There is always a third option, which is to find a balance between information and intensity - and whilst this often, but not always, yields good results, it can be difficult to pull off effectively. This technique will be covered towards the end of the article.

    Choosing which path to follow will depend on several situations, though mainly the setting of the story so far, and your personal preference. Alongside each example I will provide a list of suitable uses for the technique in question, these will by no means be set in stone - but will be what I think are good situations to use them. To make comparisons between the different techniques easier I will use the same 'background' for each example, this will be information that usually the reader will have previously gained from the story so far.

    Background Information example:
    • The battle will be written from an English perspective.
    • England v France on a plain somewhere in Normandy.
    • The weather is good, but heavy rain the night before.
    • The English are commanded by Lord Eustace Radcliffe.
    • The French are commanded by Roi Philippe Capet.
    • A young man, Robin, is newly part of Eustace's personal guard.
    • A old veteran called Edward is fighting as a part of the infantry.
    If you want to write an intense, emotion-filled battle description then writing in first-person will be the easiest way to get across such feelings and emotions. Writing from the perspective of a common solider is a good place to start, as it allows you to get down to the nitty gritty details of the fighting, and in the case of AARs, what happens doesn't have to tie in with the game, because the game doesn't focus on the front-line man, the common peasant so to speak. You can recount the battle in a number of different ways, if your story has been focusing on that man it could be a description of what is happening 'now' . If not, then it could be him recounting it back to someone, of course who he is speaking to may affect how he says it! You can still write in 'the now' in the latter case if you wish, just 'switch' to what is happening.

    1st Person example:
    I charged towards the French, the blood-lust finally taking over. Letting out a mighty roar I hurled myself towards the lines of awaiting spearmen, crashing into an unexpected enemy. The momentum helped drive my sword straight through his arm, his warm blood spraying all over me, as he tried to put up a feeble resistance. I saw another spear being swung towards me, ducking, I thrust my shield out and heard the resounding crack as it smashed into his skull, shortly followed by his body crumpling to the ground.

    I recovered my balance from the blow, panting as I wiped the blood off my face. Looking around I saw two more of the enemy approach me, their eyes filled with fear. "Come on then you mothers!" I heckled at them. "Do any of you have the balls to face me?"

    This got the reaction I wanted as they both charged towards me. I turned and the faced the one on my left, and as he approached I stepped back, swinging my sword at him. But before contact was made I felt the whack of a shield as it collided into my ribs, and then my nose. My vision blurred as I let out a cry of agony and spat the blood out of my mouth. The pain was excruciating, and before I could recover my poise the enemy that I had let passed stabbed his spear into my gut, with a grin on his face. I looked down and saw the rush of dark blood gushing out of my stomach, I tried to swing my sword, but a final smash on my head brought to the floor with a cry...
    Using this technique allows you to get an intense, limited view of the action - and I feel it can create a more emotive reading experience. Similarly you could write the same type of description in 3rd person. To be honest there isn't much difference between the two, the main factor affecting your choice will most likely be personal preference.

    3rd Person example:
    Edward charged towards the French, the blood-lust inside him taking over. Letting out a mighty roar he hurled himself towards the line of awaiting spearmen, crashing into the unsuspecting enemy. The momentum helping him to drive his sword straight through one of the French, even as he was trying to put up a feeble resistance. Edward ducked as he saw an oncoming blow, and thrust his shield out, hearing the resounding crack as it smashed into the enemies skull, which followed with the body crumpling onto the floor.

    Edward recovered his balance from the blow, panting as he wiped the blood off his face. Looking around he saw two more of the enemy approach him, their eyes filled with fear. "Come on then you mothers!" Edward heckled at them. "Do any of you have the balls to face me?"

    This got the reaction he wanted as they both charged towards him. Edward turned and the faced the one on his left, and as the man approached he stepped back, swinging his sword at the man. But before contact was made Edward felt the whack of a shield as it collided into his ribs, and then his nose. His vision blurred as he let out a cry of agony and spat the blood out of his mouth. The pain was excruciating, and before Edward could recover his poise the enemy that he had let passed stabbed his spear into Edward's gut, with a grin on his face. Looking down Edward saw the rush of dark blood gushing out of his stomach, trying to swing his sword, but a final smash on his head brought him to the floor with a cry...
    I apologise for the above example, third person isn't my strong suit. Another benefit of third person (not shown above) is you can utilize the narrator as a way to give more information to the reader. However, doing this may also lose some of the intensity of the above examples. A quick word on tenses, although both of the above are writing about what is happening at the moment, a lot of the time the past tense is used. The reason for this, I think, is because as the author you are writing about someone who is reciting what is happening to the audience, thus an element of present tense is present, because you're not writing to about something that is happening to the reader, rather something that is happening to someone the reader is following. This probably doesn't make sense, and honestly, I don't really know why it happens - I'm just theorising.

    Now, Shankbot12, what happens if my AAR isn't focused on this one particular person, how do I get the intensity of what you've just shown across then? I hear you ask. Fear not, this is where recounting events back to someone comes in. You can do it through a letter to a loved one, reporting to a superior etc. The possibilities are endless. By doing it this way you can include some extra information that would be gained from hindsight (which really is a wonderful thing) and also get across the intensity of the battle via the person describing what has happened. The example below will be of an officer reporting, as one of the few survivors, to a superior about an ambush on there force by the French. I won't include a third person example as well, because they are pretty similar, and also I'm no good at writing in the third person anyway.

    Verbal Reporting example:
    We... we were part of the scout party sent out by Lord Eustace, sir, to try and catch the French napping, but it things went astray and it was us who were caught with our backs turned. Sir, they sprung upon us out of nowhere, the bastards. We were marching down the valley road, struggling with the mounts, you see sir the rain last night had been horrendous. This w-was why our outriders had been called in. We needed every man available, I know now that was a mistake.

    They rushed out of the trees, charging down the slopes, spears flailing about. Sir, b-b-before we could react they were upon us, and a score of the men were already dead. I wheeled my mount around charged towards the nearest group of enemy, trying to breakthrough. These men followed me, sir, and we drove through the spearmen. One of the mounts got skewered and the rider toppled off. So I wheeled back and swung my sword down at the enclosing enemy bastards, slashing off one of their heads, his the blood spraying everywhere, determined not to leave anyone behind.

    Sir, I tried to get him, but we were too few and they too many. I couldn't do anything...
    You get the idea, it is not a very good example. Basically, you are allowing the reader to gain information on what lead up to the battle. the battle, and its consequences. Note how the officer is speaking, this is because he is addressing a superior and is shaken, angry even at what has happened. This is a major thing to watch out for when using the above technique, trying to write authentically will give your piece a more immersed feel. The beauty of this technique is your story doesn't have to be about the person the battle is in, which allows a lot of freedom on what to write about. Of course, you can always use the first technique and simply switch to a different character if your AAR is focused one one person - which is what I did for one of my AAR battles. Another good use for this particular technique is for those AARs that focus on a faction as a whole as it allows you to report multiple battles in detail, without your character actually having to be there.

    Now onto those of you want to achieve a more informative view. This technique, whilst far less intense and personal, is useful for certain situations such as an account from a book, a neutral report, a report filed by the commander to the faction leader etc. (Skantarios made effective use of the latter in his first AAR) etc. Although this may well be your least used method, in the right situations it can be as good, if not better, then the more personal ones. The example below will be a written report filed by Eustace to his superiors in London.

    Written Reporting example:
    Sir,

    We met the enemy about ten miles south of Mont Saint-Michel, they had positioned themselves along a ridge with a defensive line of Spearmen blocking our passage towards Paris. Roi Philippe was present in person, alongside him was his personal retinue of Knights, squires and the likes. Thankfully, there was heavy rainfall last night so the ground wasn't easily traversable, negating the power of their Knights.

    I ordered our men-at-arms to form up opposite their spearmen with our long-bowmen behind then. My token force of cavalry were on the flanks, ready to cover any form advance or retreat, whilst the Serjants had been placed at the rear, ready to fill in any holes. The French had placed their crossbowmen on the flanks, and a handful of dismounted knights were located in the centre. The core of their army, the cavalry, were located into groups on both flanks.

    At about ten in the morning I had ordered the advance, and our men-at-arms began the march forward, under the covering fire of our archers...
    *Sorry for any geographical accuracies

    This was my first time trying that technique, and I quite enjoyed it. It gives a lot of information for the reader, but lacks in any form of emotion, quite useful if getting emotion across isn't your strong suit. Again the example is in first person, that can be changed depending on your preferred style.

    Now, onto the finale, for those madmen amongst you who want both information and intensity, do not fear - there is hope. Hope in the form of writing as the general, the King even. This way you can get across some of the extra information as tactics are discussed, and then when the general makes that heroic charge to save the day, that is when you get get across your emotion and intensity. In this example I'll be writing in the first person from the point-of-view of Eustace Radcliffe. This technique really is the best of both worlds. Although there isn't as much added detail as the previous one, there is some - which coupled with the intensity of the latter part, allows for quite a lot of leeway in terms of what you write about.

    Putting it all together:
    "What's their strength Robert?" I asked the scout.

    "It is hard to tell, sir. They've got a line of spearmen along the ridge, and crossbowmen on the flanks, sir," he replied. "The King is in the centre, with his entourage of Knights spread out along the flanks. A company of what seems dismounted Knights are also positioned in the centre."

    I sighed. "Thank-you. Now leave us."

    "Ye sir," he bowed, retreating out of the tent.

    I turned to the assembled captains behind me. "Gentlemen, our options seem clear. We'll have the men at arms placed opposite to their spearmen, and our archers behind, at least they'll be protected from the frogs horse. Any questions?"

    "Yes sir," questioned one man from the back.

    "Ahh, Stuart, go ahead." I prompted, the commander of our cavalry always had questions.

    "What of the Cavalry, sir?"

    "What of them?"

    "What shall we do with them?"

    "Well considering they only consists of my bodyguard, and the few remaining scouts we have they can go on the flanks. Hopefully they'll be able to counteract someone of the French's mass of horse"

    etc.

    * * * *

    I looked down and saw our men at the gate were getting the full works. Oil was being poured onto them causing blood-curdling screams to rip through the air. That was it! Bloody Frenchmen using oil to kill our men. "Cowards!" I roared charging into the enemy's shield wall, causing the fighting - which had been stopped by the screams - to resume.

    Some of them must've of grown a pair because this time the resistance was stiff. They weren't cowering away from my hack and slash like they had done. I picked up a few scratches here and then, each one sending me into another fit of rage. I launched myself into them, but this time they stood their ground. I thrust my sword out at one of them and swung my shield round to his head. There was a resounding crack, as his skull broke from the blow and he collapsed onto the floor. In the corner of my eye I saw another one stab out towards my chest. I parried and feinted left, my opponent fell for it so I swung my shield around again. This time though my opponent blocks the blow with his own shield, the impact reeling me backwards. He brings his spear and stabs out at me before I can recover; I go to block the blow with my sword, but move to slow and his spear stabs into my thigh. I howl in anguish as the pain shoots down my leg, I fall down onto one knee, and I see the little grin on my opponents face as he withdraws the spear, that's all I needed. With one last effort I lift up my blade and plunge it into his gut. The grin forms into an 'O' as his faces changes from triumph to shock. He spasms and falls to the ground.

    I manage to pull myself up and retreat back a few paces, away from the fighting. Panting I look around and see some of our men have gotten off the wall and down onto the streets.

    (taken from my AAR)
    Gentleman, and any of the fairer sex amongst you, that brings us to the end of my battle article. You'll notice not all the background information at the start was used, it doesn't have to be - as long as your reader generally knows what is happening it is fine. I hope you have learnt something, even if it is just not to ready any of my articles again. If this is the case, your comments would still be much appreciated. If you take away anything from this let it be: At the end of the day, pick whichever technique you prefer, or fits the scenario you're writing it in.

    You could always write out a few examples...

    By Shankbot12


    Duels and Challenges (The TWC Writer's Study way)
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

    What do we picture in our minds when we read the word Duel?




    Be it with sabres or with pistols, it is a fight that goes on until one or the other yields. But no, this is not purely about dueling. It is about Duels and Challenges, the TWC way. This may not be like a regular review or article, but a wee bit like a request/proposal.

    The Ecstasy
    For the benefit of new readers, I shall venture to give a brief account of Writer's Study Duels and Challenges. This was a form of competition started during the tenure of Mega Tortas. Imagine this, you challenge somebody to beat you in round of writing. And yes, a picture was involved here too.

    So how did this differ from the Tale of the Week? Well first and foremost it was a competition between just two writers. They were allowed some time to taunt each other, then came the actual entries. The winner was declared on basis of a vote by the onlookers. It was an excellent way to sharpen writing skills, with a bit of fun thrown in.

    Duels and Challenges also made quite an enjoyable feature. Just consider, two writers take up a challenge. But they don't just go for a decision straight away, they have a go at each other first (clarification: "having a go" as in "clean and friendly jesting"). After a decent interval of rivalry has elapsed they draw up their entries, and the winner is decided by their peers. Quite enjoyable, no?

    Looking through the archives I am disappointed at how short the list of duels is. There have been only a dozen or so, almost all moderated/hosted by our very own Mega, the only exceptions being two duels hosted by Radzeer and Skantarios respectively. But wait; do I see a pattern here? Why indeed, there is a pattern. And that comes under the agony part.

    The Agony
    Whilst Mega was performing his clown/cheer-leader/mentor role at Tale of the Week, his enthusiasm kept the duels running. But after he left, the critical mass of community attention was lost and they fizzled out. Then at the start of this year Tale of the Week was relaunched, the Writer's Study became a lively place once more and even Mega returned (though not in his original role) and I thought that restoration of the Duels was bound to follow. But somehow in the general commotion it failed to find a champion for its cause.

    So what is the point of it?

    The point is that I miss the old duel thread, the jests, and the healthy one-on-one competition. Also the list of people I'd like to challenge keeps getting longer.

    The Restoration
    But all is not lost. Duels could still be restored, or we could even start afresh. Here are a few key things that might help revive it.

    1. Bring Duels out of its den. The past glories of Duels and Challenges are curently hidden away in its subforums. Active duels would need to be put somewhere better travelled, perhaps alongside the TotW threads.

    2. Create a points system for Duels.

    3. Bring Duels under the MAARC/TotW awards system if possible.

    So, a final thought as I conclude this small article. Should the Duels return (my fingers are crossed), I would like nothing better than to be able to give you blow-by-blow coverage of them here in the Quill.

    Thank You.

    By m_1512


    On the Trials and Tribulations of a Writer. Part I
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

    Foreword
    It has come to my attention in reading the many many articles that we here at the Quill produce, that there is a great deal of telling you what to do and how to it. Now that's all well and good, however what these 'how to' guides fail to mention is that writing isn't actually as easy as my fellow workers would have you believe. In fact even while attempting to write this guide about distractions I'm constantly falling prey to effects of the very things I'm trying to write about. So naturally, being me, I have taken it apon myself to actually do something half-way useful and give you a guide you can... well, use! I wanted the working title: Of the boobies; The writers cruix. But apparently that's innappropriate [Editor's Note: you bet it is!].

    Work
    In the interest of making this a semi-legible piece of writing and somewhat of use. I will start with the useful parts, not least because my subconscious informs me with its usual unrelenting accuracy that the majority of you will have have stopped reading by the next paragraph if I don't. Should you find yourself regretting your rash decision to read through to the end, I'd like you to include the word, "diabolic" in your reply (it will help me to re-affirm my faith in you all).

    Having dealt with that unwarranted distraction (SEE already we are learning how to deal with distractions. In this case I have used sheer force of mind to stop a rant from forming) let's move on.

    Perhaps the most difficult thing to wrangle with the Total War Center and gaming in general (LET ALONE trying to produce decent content for you all to ignore)... is work. If you are in fact under the working age, unemployed or simply too lazy to graft like the rest of us then please skip to the next sub heading. Off you go; this has no relevance to you. Personally I do not have a desk job, I spend 8-14 hours a day standing up watching everyone else have fun whilst I serve them ever-increasing amounts of booze. I do this 6-7 days of the week. I reckon it a hard job for the simple reason that the majority of you have jobs where you can sit down; casually munch a packet of doritos while you idly type something. You've got it easy!

    So when I come home, the last thing I feel like doing is to sit down and produce stuff that ultimately will be ignored, I would rather be drinking. But since it's often 2 a.m. when I leave, nowhere is open. I also feel my most creative when drunk, it's an escape from that unyielding cycle of lack of inspiration. So, my advice to anyone else in my position is simple; change jobs. Remember Total War Center ALWAYS comes first. Find a job that requires the absolute minimum effort at nearly part-time hours so as to leave the maximum amount of time for dorito stuffing.

    Over inspiration
    Plain and simply, I drink to inspire myself. And since I am well ahead of the curve in the fields of clarity and trend setting, chances are you will too. Sometimes however if I have started drinking at a reasonable time (9 p.m.), I'm feeling smart and I've finished up around 3 a.m. then the next morning I tend find that I've over-inspired myself.

    Side effects include:
    • Tiredness
    • General Irritability
    • Inability to stand up/talk/function as intended
    • Hungry
    • So not hungry
    • The ability to vomit at will while ingesting food
    • A headache
    • Gut rot
    • Dry throat
    • Sharing a ginger person's bed
    • Not knowing how you got to bed, or with whom

    In layman's terms. Thou art Hungover. Whilst this is a good time to catch up on your thinking as you will not be able to do much else, chances are you will not remember it. Remember not all heavy inspiration sessions are good for you.

    Boobies and the Secrets within Significant others
    Continuing with the theme of using one's personal experience to help further the rest of one's limited talent I have recently acquired what appears to be a long term female companion who seems to be of the opinion that I am sexy. Well we all knew that anyways, but this has had some long term side-effects. When I'm not at work my presence is required. My only solace is that we live in opposite ends of a rather large city; and she also works in bars. So for the moment when it is simply too much of a mission for us to share the bus/tube/magical carpet of choice I have some time to myself. However that time is filled up with other things. Like sleep. And oddly a lot of huddling in the shower whimpering about being dirty...

    My overall point is that the opposite gender (or same gender should you be that way inclined) should be avoided like the plague. I quickly found my remaining free time disappearing, ironically like my remaining bank balance. All my gaming time evaporated and I have only just been able to find enough time to put this guide together.

    But on a serious note, if you do decide to enter into a relationship then expect to find that this becomes a serious source of distraction. Unless of course you find someone that's into the Total War Center. In that case you will have a begrudging slice of my respect.

    Having fun
    Sometimes you get too much into the game and lose track of everything. It happens.

    Wildlife
    Having not so long ago had a bad experience with a Llama which I do not wish to go into here, just understand that sometimes Wildlife will interfere with everything. It hurts and does not lead itself to the best of inspiration.

    Closing
    Naturally this only serves as a mere introduction to the fabled art of being able to write more efficently. In the future we will cover the bug bears of frustration with life, the sudden need to be labelled an artiste, and ego inflation. Now instead of reading the rest of the Quill, please proceed to send me fan mail. Each one will be awarded a hand written response featuring my personal signature and phone number.

    Because I am an artiste!!!!

    By StealthEvo


    The Importance of Editing
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    Before proceeding with the article, I have a question to pose for our loyal readers: Have you ever, either in your creative or intellectual writing endeavors, not been satisfied by a certain turn of phrase, individual words, the way your character or thesis is being developed, et cetera? Well you aren’t alone. No one has ever produced a perfect piece of art without substantial self-editing, which is why I posit here that the most important stage in any writing process is the editing stage; and outlined below are some strategies, reasoning, and the odd-anecdote as to why editing your work is quintessential to producing quality fiction (or nonfiction).

    To begin editing, it is prudent to have something already written, something that, you know, needs to be edited. I point out the obvious here for one major reason: many people have a tendency to edit as they write, and this is often unproductive. Think about it this way: there is something different about you every time you write (hormonal balances, mood, perception, etc.); and with you at the time of first writing is a set of ideas and feelings that cannot be replicated again, reconceptualized perhaps, but never truly regained. While this may sound a little depressing to you, really, you should feel the exact opposite. After you commit, say, a short story to paper (without editing along the way), and begin to make corrections, you will find things you did that may not have been effective, and new ideas will form as to how to correct them and create a better piece of fiction. It is in this light (the light of hindsight) that many of the best works of fictions were edited by their authors and eventually submitted for publication.

    One of the most effective strategies for editing one’s work is to read your work aloud (I’m reading this aloud as I write). I realize this will probably make little sense to most people because, when they read, they (as I do) read in their heads. While you don’t need to change this (except perhaps on that off sentence that sounds strange in your head, but actually fits), I advocate reading your own work aloud for the simple reason that it allows you to identify word and sentence patterns that may or may not fit (or ones you may not have noticed), which, later (I sometimes read my work aloud when I write. You don’t have to do this) you can change in order to create a more cohesive narrative. The cohesiveness of a narrative, it’s poetic flow, is (and this is my opinion) the most important component in producing great art, and it can only be achieved through severe editing.

    If you are anything like me (god help you), every word of every sentence makes all the difference; the number of syllables in the word, the sound of the word, especially in consideration of those surrounding it, all concern you. I’m not sure how many of you are familiar with Gustave Flaubert, but he was, in many ways, the most important novelist of the 19th century. An obsessive stylist, he followed the principle of ‘le mote juste’ (the right word) and would spend days, weeks, years, editing (Madame Bovary, his most well-known work, took him approximately four years to write). This compulsion to perfect their work is what every writer should, more or less, possess. A more relevant example to Americans (and the British) would be the poet T.S. Eliot, who, in comparison to many of the poets of his time (and before) published far fewer poems, though, arguably, his were of greater quality. Now, I’m not saying go and spend 10 years writing and editing a novel. As with all things, writing becomes easier with experience. Just keep at it.

    By this time, many of you have probably already posited questions or statements like this: ‘What’s the point of editors in publishing houses if not to edit? If I provide the next big idea, they can just edit my work,’ and in some ways this is true. If you are interested in writing novels like The Hunger Games, and publishers see a way to make money off of it, then, yes, they will edit it to death. And I want to add that, despite what people will tell you, there is nothing wrong with writing novels like Collins’, if that is your wish. Is it great art? No, not by a long shot. Do the ideas in some genre fiction have merit and, by a talented writer, can be made into great art? You bet. But that’s for a different article. The importance of editing your work to the fullest, agonizing over every word of every sentence of every paragraph of every page of every chapter, is your integrity as an artist. To paraphrase Hemingway: your gifts as a writer are by the standards you set and meet, not an editor’s. And while literature is in many ways a collaborative process, I find myself agreeing with Hemingway, not for the sake of honor, but because to write (as he would put it) one true sentence is essentially the mark of, not merely a writer, but an artist. And what all great writers seek is to create art.

    While many advocate this (including contemporary novelists like Brian Evenson), I cannot attest to its effectiveness; but I give it to you anyway: when you stop writing for the night, you should end in the middle of a sentence, so that you when you write next, you will always have something to continue. And the advice is actually quite logical. But for some reason, and I’m speaking from experience, I feel the need to close ideas neatly at the end of my writing sessions, to end a thought so that another may begin the next day. I’ve often found myself wondering what other people’s thoughts are on the matter; and since we started this article with a question, I think it poetic that I close this piece with another: how many of our readers can attest to ending their sessions mid-sentence? Does it affect your ability to write the next day? Feedback on both of these questions is appreciated below, or, if you prefer, in a PM or VM to me. Until next time –

    By Absalom, Absalom!


    The AAR Anthology
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    The AAR is a relatively new genre. Ancient man scrawled in the dust, the Greeks wrote plays and every early culture had their writers. Sun Tzu and Plato have merits, but neither played Total War- although one suspects Sun Tzu would have won that particular battle. When writers craft delicate plots, the AAR forces the writer to change tack at the whims of a capricious advanced number-generator. Planned for the Prince to ascend to the throne, only for him to die in a pirate attack in the Channel? Planned for a 20 year alliance with the Venetians only for them to pointless blockade the port to a minor town that doesn't trade anyway? You might be an AARtist. Plans go awry and that is part of the magic of the AAR.

    Encapsulating a huge number of disciplines, from story focused AARs with the game as a backdrop to game driven report-style updates, the AAR Genre has worthy, but has never quite achieved the status of other genres. The new endeavour lead by SeniorBatavianHorse looks to change that, however. A Tiger's Leap is a collection of some of the best AARs around and is on Smashwords, available for online download. The hope is that enough downloads (and reviews!) will mean the collection will become available in print form. A sequel is planned for release in July, with all of the AARs featured to be serialised.

    So, the AARs themselves. Prefaced by an excellent essay on the genre by SeniorBatavianHorse that really must be read as a whole. A joy to read to any writer or fan of AARs, it is also a good explanation and exposition of AARs to anyone who is unfamiliar with the breed. The AARs themselves are all of highest quality-

    Spite of Severus: "I am Octavius Severus Alexander, and let it be known that I am destined to follow my ancestors on the road to greatness."

    An intriguing story of a noble in the outermost reaches of the great Roman Empire- Britain. Written with verve and a knowing quality that is intriguing, good to have a lead character who is also perhaps less than sympathetic.
    ____________________

    An Eastern Jewel in a Western World: "Here I am, Philippe Capet, one of the sons of the Holy Kingdom of France. I had the sovereign name but I just was allowed to be the equal of the other French nobles. Nothing more... I knew that this start would lead me to the stars."

    Written with charming Gallic quirks, the opening sequence provides us with another interesting character, a French royal who feels very definitely Eastern. The juxtaposition of cultures looks set to keep this fresh through later updates.
    ____________________

    Takeda: "These were dangerous times, but we had no reason to fear anyone, for we are the Takeda."

    The only Shogun 2 offering and very atmospheric, really conveying the Japanese ambiance. A young arrogant Takeda tells us the story of this rising star and we get an insight into the courtly workings that are great for fans of political tension and wranglings.

    ____________________

    Heaven's Descent: "But Philip did not waver. This was but another of God’s tests, one he looked to pass with flying colours. Together with the young Marie, they would play their part and see about a brighter future for both Cyprus and Christianity in general... If only he knew then what was in store for them."

    15th Century Cyprus is certainly a novel setting but originality merely augments this story, following usually neglected AAR characters - princesses, merchants, diplomats. Promises to be an interest treat.

    ____________________

    Serving Your Oppressor: "What is it to be in the service of those who kill your kindred, who take your land and your freedom and to serve them as if they were your own chieftain? What manner of resentment, bitterness and thoughts of vengeance must we harbour towards them?"

    A Dacian in the service of the Roman army and his somewhat philosophical ponderings - never fear though, for he is not just a man of ethics, but there shall be blood and gore too. Enjoyable for both.

    ____________________

    Restoring Rome: "Autumn leaves tumbled down in the Epirote woods as Ioannis stood naked in his tower room, gazing outwards. The cool breeze pleased him as it riled through his cropped warrior’s hair, the long heat of summer had lasted for too long. Only bloodletting could relieve the monotony of summer, he had found."

    Following various members of Alexios Komnenos' Byzantine Empire, intrigue, discontent and rebellion will be major themes as we follow the course of history from the view of the characters within it. Told in vignette style.

    ____________________

    These have been but the briefest of reviews, for the AARs have, I believe, all been fully covered by the Quill. I would simply urge you to read them! And if they grab you, to sign up to Smashwords and review them, which is the route to the Anthology becoming available in paper form - which would be a huge step for the AAR Genre.

    Here are a some words on the philosophical basis for the Anthology from SBH, mastermind of the project:

    Excerpt from Introductory Essay, Volume 1, 'A Tiger's Leap'.
    Why an anthology of AARs? What has struck me most over the last few years is the sheer quality of the writing and the genre itself. So I began to wonder on the validity of this whole AAR thing. Was it just ‘fan-fiction’ or was something far more interesting happening here? As a writer who had studied Creative Writing at University and indeed studied narrative theory to post-grad level, I soon realised that as a writing medium the AAR occupies a unique ground: it is a primarily text-based medium illustrated with in-game shots which is born out of a reactive medium, i.e. the game-play itself. Unlike a traditional writer who is able to shape and control his or her narrative, the AAR writer - no matter how expertly he sets up the opening story - must at some point deal with what the AI will do and then incorporate it into the narrative. Battles may be lost. Characters assassinated. Fleets drowned in a sudden storm. In other words, the AAR genre itself lays out-with the control of the writer to some degree - and this last element brought a certain tension into the reading in that one never knew for certain what was going to happen next no matter how conventional the narrative was.

    Narrative has rules. It has conventions. It has expectations. All of which can be subverted wilfully, of course. Narrative is also adaptive and reflexive. It can comment on itself in the moment of its vocalisation or what certain theorists call the enounce. It can wink at the reader and make him or her complicit in its codes even as it breaks them. Narrative is a shared discoursed between writer, reader and that wider cultural mesh we live in which sets up expectations. I suppose what I am trying to say here is that all story-telling by definition is grounded in a certain set of shared assumptions which may then be subverted or not.

    These rules allow the story to be understood and therefore need to be respected to a certain degree - or else the reader is at sea as to how to read the story. There is an old adage in the aesthetic theory that the reader/viewer completes the text. Without a reader, the story does not exist. Without a viewer, the painting will not be seen. These theories of narrative imply a triadic structure in which the writer/reader/structure intertwine in an endless M. C. Escher like revolve, moving inside and then outside each other, never standing form or absolute. Because also at the end of the day reading and writing is pleasure, too, and that pleasure is always bound up in the eternal guessing game of what will happen next.

    And this strikes to the heart of the AAR genre and why I as a writer find it so fascinating to both read and write it. It introduces a super-structure into the mix beyond the triadic form mentioned above. The Fourth Partner, that of the AI game itself, that unpredictable player who lives on only in the digital ghost world of binary code and luminescent pixels. That flawed broken unseen hand which moves the characters and the armies and the fleets and the weather despite our best narrative intentions.
    Thank you all, and I do urge you to make your way to read the Anthology, it is just a click away!

    By Schrödinger


    "A Few Matters of Form"
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

    Another article Shankbot12? Really? I can almost hear you moan from behind your computer screens. Fear not, this will be a short one. Readers of the last Issue will know of my reading of "The Elements of Style" (a great book by the way). If you don't, well... I'm reading it. The title of this article is taken from a chapter in this book, so if any of you particularly like the title, please give all credits to William Strunk Jr, wherever he may be.

    The purpose of this article is lacking somewhat, mostly it'll just be things that I find people do wrong whilst writing on this site, or just things I find annoying. If stuff like this doesn't interest, please save yourself the bother and read on. Although I will be taking a trick from a fellow writer of this issue. If you do read this, when commenting on how brilliant it is (yeah right...) include the words "shockingly bad" in your response, most preferably after the words: Shankbot12, your second article was not...

    Now you've got the general 'feel' of this article it's time to begin. "No! Please no more!" I fancy I hear you shout, sadly I'm already sat typing this up now, so I'm just going to have to continue.

    I'll start off with the biggie, a crime I too am guilty of committing on occasion, and that my friends is... centre aligning! I used to think it was the bees knees when writing, to be able to have my text perfectly in the centre seemed like a godsend. I've recently realised how blinded I was. I hate the damn thing. Please, please if you burden your mind with remembering anything form this article, let this be it. Do not use centre aligning. Titles are an exception, they look great in the centre, sub-headings are okay, depending on the situation but not whole bodies of text. It looks more professional having the text on the left, and frankly it is easier to read.

    Another one that really pushes my buttons is inconsistent text and formatting. If you plan to write something can you, for my sake if nothing else, make sure your text sticks to the same font, size, colour etc. Titles are, again, an exception to the rule. Remember the saying, "StupidSimple is as stupidsimple does" (name the film*). Maybe "Simply the best" would have been better. Never mind, the point is that the more simple something is (in my eyes) the easier it is to read, and hence the better it looks. This is not to say a bit of style isn't good, in fact used properly it is great, but when writing I think sticking mostly to a basic font, size and colour is a lot more effective.
    *Forest Gump - a great film.

    My final gripe of this article is, and I know this often can't be helped, but it is unfinished stories. I know, I know, these things happen, but nothing annoys me more then getting into a really good story, getting to the chapter before the final, massive clash, when suddenly it just ends. God it is annoying. I mean you read it, you come to love the characters, and then it just ends. Now I'm not having ago at the authors, I love the fact that they write these brilliant pieces, and I understand fully that for many valid reasons they can't be continued, maybe just write not-so-good things?
    ^This would not have been possible without the great help of HeirofAlexander aka Heiro, all men salute him!! (I was told to put this in)

    Right, now that is all off my chest onto the article proper. This article is somewhat of a follow-up to my speech one. Also, what I've said since should still be taken into account when next writing; well if you want to please me it should.

    Below will be a list of cautionary marks, subtle dangerous hints. They are presented in the form of rules, but they are in essence mere gentle reminders; they will state what most of us know and at times forget. Every writer, by the way he uses language and how he writes, tells us (the reader) something about him. His spirit, habits, capacities, his bias. This is inevitable, yet also enjoyable. When becoming a writer, one does not stay incognito for long. All of the headings are taken, in some form, from "The Elements of Style", but the text underneath is rephrased and rewritten by me. I've taken the 5 most suitable, for me anyway.

    1.) Place yourself in the background:
    Try and write so the reader is drawn to a sense of what is happening, not your mood. If it is a good piece the mood you want to get across will become apparent as the reader reads on. To become a good writer, not that I know, the books says "begin by affecting none." (Your writing that is).

    2.) Do not explain too much:
    Here the book says don't tell the reader what is happening, imply it to him. Let the story explain what is happening, you don't need to. The examples given are used in my speech article, for those of you who read it, but the main one is don't over complicate sentences and dialogue with adverbs, as although it may feel as you're giving more information, it often clutters the sentence and makes it annoying to read.

    3.) Make sure the reader knows who is speaking:
    This one is a biggun', which is why I'm including it again. Please, please make sure your dialogue is concise and clear - in a long passage you run the risk of the reader losing track and being forced to go back and solve the puzzle of who is speaking. Following the rules laid out in my speaking article will help you to avoid this problem.

    4.) Write naturally:
    It is all well and good reading these articles we write, and even better if you take the stuff on board, but you always write in a way that comes naturally to you, as an author. Use words and phrases you know and are comfortable using. The same is true for techniques, of course trying new things is good, but use the techniques you are familiar with and trust. I know it sounds silly, but
    your writing will be better if you are using techniques you really know how to use.

    5.) Avoid 'fancy' words:
    This has to be my favourite one. As the book says "Do not be tempted by a twenty-dollar word when there is a ten-center handy, ready and able. Anglo-Saxon is a livelier tongue than Latin, so use Anglo-Saxon words." Don't overcomplicate sentences and phrases with complex words, please. I find it is more difficult to read, and follow, if every-other word is something like 'beauteous'. Now there is nothing grammatically wrong with that word, and using it would be quite within your rights, it just doesn't sound as good. That is the key word, sound. Let your ear be the judge, speak the sentence out loud, and go with what sounds right, even if it means overcomplicating things. A classic example is President Lincoln, he started his speech with, "four score and seven years ago," why though? What would have been wrong with starting with "eighty-seven"? Nothing, but would the speech have been as good? He used his ear, and picked something that sounded right.

    That folks brings me to the end of my article, remember those five rules and you'll be fine. Enjoy the rest of the issue.

    With thanks to William Strunk Jr.


    By Shankbot12


    From the Editor's Desk


    Well, that's it for another month(ish). I am very pleased with the gang and their contributions, here is the roll call: m_1512, Shankbot12, Radzeer, Absalom, Absalom!, StealthEvo, robinzx, Schrödinger and HeirofAlexander. Please send some rep their way for their efforts.

    I would like to say a special word of thanks to Shankbot12. He has been unfailingly helpful and enthusiastic all through the dreary process of trying to get me to do my editing job after everyone else had already submitted their work. Apart from his pledged pieces, he has also stepped in at the last moment to provide MAARC coverage together with an extensive review of TotW. All hail the mighty Shank!

    Don't forget that you too could write for the Quill. If you have the desire to bring news of good writing to the community here, and you can spell at least as well as Stealthi, then you have a good chance of adding your name to the Hall of Fame! Please send me a PM if you feel your vocation might be with the Quill.

    So until next time, happy reading.

    Juvenal



    If you find yourself at a loose end, then why not consider sampling some of the TWC publications or creative forums. It's easy, just click through the picture!


    imb39 ...is my daddy!
    See AARtistry in action: Spite of Severus and Severus the God

    Support the MAARC!
    Tale of the Week Needs You!


  3. #3
    Boustrophedon's Avatar Grote Smurf
    Citizen

    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Rome, Italy
    Posts
    3,158

    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 34

    Looking very fine! Sadly I couldn't contribute to this one but you guys produced some quality reviews and articles here!

  4. #4
    Shankbot de Bodemloze's Avatar From the Writers Study!
    Citizen

    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Midlands, UK
    Posts
    14,834
    Blog Entries
    2

    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 34

    A great Issue guys, really well done. I hope everyone enjoys reading it. I especially liked On the Trials and Tribulations of a Writer. Part I, a great article.
    THE WRITERS' STUDY | THE TRIBUNAL | THE CURIA | GUIDE FOR NEW MEMBERS



    PROUD PATRON OF JUNAIDI83, VETERAAN & CAILLAGH
    UNDER THE PATRONAGE OF MEGA TORTAS DE BODEMLOZE

  5. #5

    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 34

    I'm the winner of TotW 137, not 139...
    Last edited by Maximinus Thrax; July 07, 2012 at 05:41 PM.

  6. #6
    Rex Anglorvm's Avatar Wrinkly Wordsmith
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Workaholicville
    Posts
    1,467

    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 34

    Great issue guys, nice to see a plug for the creative writing board

    Perhaps for new additions of the Quill, a story could be reviewed every month from the CW board? It may encourage new writers to post if they receive more recognition.

  7. #7

    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 34

    Just read through the article section, found it great, very informative, light-hearted and well-written. +Rep to all!


    Under the patronage of the formidable and lovely Narf.

    Proud patron of Derpy Hooves, Audacia, Lordsith, Frodo45127 and Sir Adrian.

  8. #8

    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 34

    Woo it's finally out!
    The Wings of Destiny - A FotS AAR (Chapter 12 - Updated Apr 24)
    Takeda - a Shogun 2 AAR (Completed) Reviewed by Radzeer

    My writing | My art | About me | Sekigahara Campaign - Developer

    ~~Under the proud patronage of Radzeer, Rogue Bodemloze. Patron of Noif de Bodemloze, Heiro de Bodemloze, and Hitai de Bodemloze~~

  9. #9
    Juvenal's Avatar love your noggin
    Patrician Content Emeritus

    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    The Home Counties
    Posts
    3,465

    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 34

    Quote Originally Posted by Maximinus Thrax View Post
    I'm the winner of TotW 137, not 139...
    Shank was actually reviewing his personal selection of non-winning entries. To avoid confusion I've added some extra clarification on that to the article, and also a full list of winners with links at the end.
    Last edited by Juvenal; July 08, 2012 at 11:58 AM. Reason: cursed spelling mistake
    imb39 ...is my daddy!
    See AARtistry in action: Spite of Severus and Severus the God

    Support the MAARC!
    Tale of the Week Needs You!


  10. #10

    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 34

    I see. Excellent work guys, and kudos to Shankbot12 for his outstanding articles!
    Last edited by Maximinus Thrax; July 08, 2012 at 04:30 AM.

  11. #11
    SeniorBatavianHorse's Avatar Tribunus Vacans
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Glasgow, Scotland
    Posts
    5,160

    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 34

    Great issue, everyone - congratulations to all involved!

  12. #12
    Derpy Hooves's Avatar Bombs for Muffins
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    My flagship, the Litany of Truth, spreading DESPAIR across the galaxy
    Posts
    13,399

    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 34

    SOme of these articles look quite interesting. I shall have to browse them later.

    FYI, I don't remember why exactly I had the in there. It was either because I forgot was not acceptable or that I just could not think of a different word that could fit there.



  13. #13

    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 34

    A great issue, good job guys!

  14. #14
    StealthEvo's Avatar Campidoctor
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    London
    Posts
    1,644

    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 34

    I would like to point out that I was infact right. I am not seeing a single special word within a response.

    Juvie you owe me a coke!

  15. #15
    Shankbot de Bodemloze's Avatar From the Writers Study!
    Citizen

    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Midlands, UK
    Posts
    14,834
    Blog Entries
    2

    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 34

    I've just noticed the same thing. (I borrowed your idea. )
    THE WRITERS' STUDY | THE TRIBUNAL | THE CURIA | GUIDE FOR NEW MEMBERS



    PROUD PATRON OF JUNAIDI83, VETERAAN & CAILLAGH
    UNDER THE PATRONAGE OF MEGA TORTAS DE BODEMLOZE

  16. #16

    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 34

    Excellent issue as always, thanks for the hard work everybody! Happy reading!

  17. #17
    Ybbon's Avatar The Way of the Buffalo
    spy of the council

    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    locally
    Posts
    7,234

    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 34

    What the...! There is someone muscling in on my fame! "It is people like ybbon36 and ΩDerpy HoovesΩ" At least they are only Ybbon36 and not the full 66, sort of like a 003 1/2 and imitation is a form of flattery after all - that and I don't have any fames of course

    Excellent issue, rep all round in a moment or two..

  18. #18
    Aikanár's Avatar no vaseline
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Sanctuary
    Posts
    12,516
    Blog Entries
    3

    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 34

    Great work everybody!


    Son of Louis Lux, brother of MaxMazi, father of Squeaks, Makrell, Kaiser Leonidas, Iskar, Neadal, Sheridan, Bercor and HigoChumbo, house of Siblesz

    Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts.

  19. #19
    Borissomeone's Avatar Citizen
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    1,784

    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 34

    Very nice issue! I'v enjoyed reading it when I should be working.

    Under the Patronage of TheFirstONeill.

  20. #20

    Default Re: The Critic's Quill: Issue 34

    Interesting summary of my AAR I liked it. Although if you saw me you wouldn't think I'm 38. I still get carded when I go out! Good luck to everyone! I will try to read through the rest of the nominees. I am actually the kind of guy that votes for other people even when I am nominated

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •