Ibiza!

[Sknit]

So i'm going to Ibiza today on a lads holiday, first time going, and there's 15 of us. Also i've got my Union Jack morphsuit, and my England '96 shirt packed since i'm gonna be over there for group games. So what i'm getting at is; Anyone been to Ibiza? places to go? places to avoid? best nightclubs etc etc? Shed some light on this party island?

[Thorn777]

Buy lots of condoms while still in Britain.

[Sknit]

Buy lots of condoms while still in Britain.

Don't quite have time to get any now, already got some packed, But depending how my luck and drunken charm plays out, could need a couple more.

[Aru]

Please remember that you represent your country and must act accordingly in front of foreigners. Be loud, insulting, arrogant and spit on them while you talk. Take any opportunity to intimidate smaller groups or individuals by swarming them with your 15 friends, and if chance presents itself, embrace tribe mentality and beat up some innocent fool.

As for clubs and condoms, if you intend to do a proper party holiday then you'll be so pissed that clubs won't matter and girls won't come near you, except prostitutes who will steal your wallet.

I hope I helped.

[Watercress]

Ibiza...never will you find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.

[Ishan]

Thread moved from TD to The Travelers' Lodge.

[Atterdag]

places to avoid?

Ayup.

[nce_wht_guy]

Please remember that you represent your country and must act accordingly in front of foreigners. Be loud, insulting, arrogant and spit on them while you talk. Take any opportunity to intimidate smaller groups or individuals by swarming them with your 15 friends, and if chance presents itself, embrace tribe mentality and beat up some innocent fool.

As for clubs and condoms, if you intend to do a proper party holiday then you'll be so pissed that clubs won't matter and girls won't come near you, except prostitutes who will steal your wallet.

I hope I helped.

This.

[neoptolemos]

Ayup.

LOL
A lot of saints in a very sinful place

[Azog 150]

Remember to shout at the locals until they understand you, have sex in public and of course throw up and/or piss on any monuments or any other places of pride.

[Boustrophedon]

You can tell this thread was moved from the TD nothing but spam and nonsense. Does anybody have real advice? If not then don't post and try to be mr. comedian or something

[the_mango55]

I'm American so I don't know a lot about this place, but from what I gather am I correct in assuming it's like the Cancun of Europe?

[Ishan]

You can tell this thread was moved from the TD nothing but spam and nonsense. Does anybody have real advice? If not then don't post and try to be mr. comedian or something

Hey, Brother Aru is cool, our homie, our turf leader and compadre!

Anyways Gary on lol yahoo says:

Its the party capital of Europe.

Get yourself over there and find out. Everyone should go at least once.

It is also a nice place for families too as long as they steer clear of San Antonio.

So San Antonio it is.

For millions of British tourists, San Antonio has been the gateway to the nocturnal delights Ibiza has to offer.......

^Source

And perhaps this website might tell you about the place that might catch your interest.

Googling is all i can do as i haven't been there myself. I'll PM 2 Portuguese members perhaps they can find the time to tell you something about it.

[Vítor Gaspar]

Never been there, although I have a reasonable number of friends who've been there during Summer.

I can't really say much about the nightclubs (because I haven't been there and I can't remember any names they might have told me) but here's a few recommendations I can tell you:

You'll be shocked with the amount of people selling drugs out in the open. Now they aren't pushy, so I was told, but you should never, ever, buy stuff from them. Most of the sellers aren't Spanish and will most likely try to rip you of. Not to mention that whatever you buy from them may be "mixed" and that is even worse than consuming drugs alone.

It is rampant in Ibiza, especially in the clubs avenues. That goes for pretty much every Iberian city with a large club scene (Ibiza, Barcelona, Madrid, Lisbon), but due to its size and nature it's much worse in Ibiza.

If you're really into that stuff you better know a local. Something you don't. So keep to the alcohol.

Food is really expensive in restaurants over there. If I'm not mistaken last year one my friends ended up wasting away 25€ in a single meal, with a jar of wine, in some trendy restaurants. My advice is to actually ask a policeman where to eat lol. Usually they speak English, but sometimes they don't. They're locals and wherever they go to eat you'll get the best price/quality, because it's not a tourist trap. In case they don't speak English, just practice some basics in Spanish. It will be easy enough.

My friends asked one of the Mossos d'Esquadra guards and they told them a great place (after they told the cops they had been ripped of in a tourist trap). I can see if I find out the name.

And that's pretty much all I know. Do go, next time, to the Algarve, because the beaches are nicer, everyone speaks English (and you guys like that) and Portugal has been ally of England since pretty much its inception. You've got to help our economy

[Boustrophedon]

My friends asked one of the Mossos d'Esquadra guards and they told them a great place (after they told the cops they had been ripped of in a tourist trap). I can see if I find out the name.

I wouldn't trust them that much though. Those cops probably have friends and relatives who own a restaurant so they will probably direct you there instead of the best/cheapest one they know.

[Vítor Gaspar]

Well they fared out well out there. And so have I whenever I went abroad and used that tactic. It's almost a sort of tradition now for me, asking the police where to eat.

[Shneckie]

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Ibiza...never will you find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.

This. Attempt to smuggle firearms, knives ect ect. If this is not possible then improvise. I hear deodorant + lighter does wonders on would be muggers. Either that or find a drunk lass to cast off as decoy.