Football Manager Handheld 2012 Vauxhall Motors AAR: Crashing and Burning? Updated 1/08!

[Yojimbo]

Hey

This is going to be an AAR about me managing Vauxhall Motors, one of the weakest teams in fm 2012. I am very noob at the FM games. I’ve played a bit of fm2007 and 2010; got beat silly both times. I’m not really into soccer irl, although I do like the sport and more like the games because of the meaty management on offer. I have attempted two aars before this, and both fizzled out both because I lost the files. The peasant aar for mtw is probably worth a read however.

I think this aar about something never seen before rather than the upteenth skyrim aar might be interesting.

Im using the iPhone version of fm2012 which you can buy for $10 or so in the app store.

I chose Vauxhall because I’m pretty crap at this game so far it seems and they have no real expectations for me to win, or even do well, so I can feel free to screw up as much as I like and it shouldn’t get me fired. I had a brief game before this with the Newcastle United Jets, but I ended up getting sacked.

I’m writing this because I though it would be pretty amusing to read a story about me a crappy manger managing a team like this. As vfar as i know the players in this are the same as the pc, as they are all real.

I start by signing a few "good" players (read: less appalling), namely Theo Angus, Paul Gerald and Andy Burgess The team is all round weak as hell and theses three are much better than anyone in my side. The assistant manager tried to tell me Gerald isn’t as good as my starting goalkeeper, Lloyd Saxton but it sure doesn't look that way to me.

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Even the board agree, although he is very old.

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Of course after I sign him my bootlicking toady... er assistant agrees.

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Burgess wanted 950, but I gave him 850 and he agreed.

The first friendly against Carvey Island was won easily 3-1. I make a bid to free transfer Liam Head, a better attacker than Josh Wilson and he agrees!

After the Cray match, in a move that surprises no one Gerald announces his retirement. Who cares; I have a good goalie for the rest of the season!

The rest of the friendlies

Cray 0-1 (won)

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The next post will be much longer, but the end of the preseason seems like a good place to leave it. Expect a post later today or tomorrow!

[Yojimbo]

The first game in the season is a crushing loss to Worcester. I used a standard 4-4-2 formation with counter attacking and pressing, which, I assume is annoying the heck out of the guy with the ball by staying close to him.

The next match vs Harrogate mercifully ends in a 1-1 draw.

Bishops Stortford ends in another 1-1 draw.

I kick out Tom Jones for being useless and offer up a 100k player for 80k as he’s crap compared to some of my younger players, but I can’t really afford to buy out his contract.

We win the next game against Colwyn Bay 2-0. I guess the new tactical option “Send hitman> Maim” option added in the iPhone version works well!

I sub out Morgan and Mcgiverm, as they are looking a bit tired. I pep talk some of the guys, including Burke, my right midfielder with a negative, as he’s had a crappy form lately.

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You can get further with a kind word and a gun than you can with just a kind word.

I succeed in boosting morale, except for Mcgivern, who’s apparently becoming complacent with my praise. If he screws up more than is usual for this team he's still out on his ass.

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I’d better be meaner next time.

For the next match against Gloucester I switch to a 4-4-2 attacking formation to avoid becoming too predictable. I sub Holsgrove and Mahon in as my best players do not play well in the new formation.

I end up drawing. It was 2-1 but then they scored in the 89th minute, ending the match 2-2! Grr! Sam Mannix, my best MC suffers a broken toe and is out of action for three weeks. Burke is subbed in instead.

Next match vs Guiseley is lost 1-2 but I was slated to lose anyway. Wilson gets a 3 week twisted knee injury as well.

I sign a new left winger as a loan, Robert Lloyd as he’s better than Holsgrove.

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The next match vs Hinckley is ANOTHER 1-1 draw. At least I’m not getting beat silly. Theo gets banned during this match for somehow gaining 5 yellow cards in total. I sub Louis Horne in for him.

Hers how the league looks. Even though I can’t win a game I’m well clear of relegation!

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The board screen has nothing to see as they aren’t commenting on me yet.

My lineup

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The icons are how suited each player is to their position with bright green meaning they are a natural at it and will play the best they possibly c an and anything other than dark green which is nearly as good meaning they are bad in that position. The % under their name is how fit they are. Low fitness makes them prone to injuries and I assume perform worse.

[Chirurgeon]

Interesting. I will keep an eye on this. Although there are upteen skyrim AARs. only a few are actually active. Most people write for a while and then stop.

[Yojimbo]

Interesting. I will keep an eye on this. Although there are upteen skyrim AARs. only a few are actually active. Most people write for a while and then stop.

Thanks!

Vauxhall are proving themselves to be an artistic team. They never stop drawing.

First I get hammered buy Barwell. The media predicted I would be so I wasn’t expecting anything else.

Staybridge was another intimidating foe so I set my formation up as defensive and managed to hold them to a 0-0 draw.

The next match against Eastwood I was tipped to win, but it ended with a 1-1 draw.

Boston United was another tipped to lose game and it didn't disappoint. 1-2.

I decide to switch it up for the match against Solihull Moors. Having only two forwards seems to be making it difficult to score. I switch to a 4-2-4 formation. I lack competent forwards, so I have to use two guy who can’t really play the position on the far left and right and my normal tag team of great forwards in the middle. For this game its Mahon and Wilson, although I rotate them as they get tired. Hopefully I can retrain the other forwards to fit the position. The difference is immediate, as Vauxhall records their first win in about 6 games 2-0! This probably won’t work so great against teams with a strong offense however, as I have fewer players defending.

This of course is quickly followed by a 2-0 loss to Workington and then a FC Halifax loss of 1-0, although they are one of the top teams so it’s hardly surprising.

I manage to sign a hot new forward, Dave Nwaogu. He’s young, he’s fast and he shoots better than any of my forwards. He also works for just $100 a week! Lets just hope he doesn't spam me.

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I also sell off John Lawless, despite his cool name. He’s a supremely average forward and he’s also highly strung, which isn’t a great combination. He’s worth the 2k.

Selling him off frees up some wage budget, so I can offer more money for new players.

I manage to score first against Blyth and immediately take a defensive stance but they still manage to beat me, including a pathetic goal that somehow went in from like 30 meters away.

Corby is more of the same I get two goals, then they pile on two, including one ten minutes before the game ends to finish the game 2-2

Numeton is another game I managed to score first in before goals piled on.

Finally against Chelmsford I secure a 3-0 win, which is odd seeming as they are near the top of their league! Two goals at the start of the game put Vauxhall ahead early and they never looked like losing! This win qualifies us for the FA cup.

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We rack up another win against Altrincham 2-1. Nwaogu scores another goal. He’s proving to be a great purchase.

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This is an important win as it propels us to 17th place, once more clear of relegation.

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The board are happy, but apparently my players aren’t getting on

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I also really need a left forward to replace Mcgivern.

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[Ybbon]

Just came across this and it looks interesting. Personally I love Football, but last time I played one of these FM games (admittedly years ago on at least 3 or 4 PC's back from what I have now), I was absolute pants. I may get the incentive to give it another go.

[mehzel]

Im enjoying this AAR i ended up getting to league 2 with Droylsden another blue square north team but then i got bored and gave up.

[Yojimbo]

Hey guys! Finally back, but for some reason something has screwed up and a bunch of matches have different results. I’m not sure if I loaded the wrong file or not. I have an iPad now, maybe something messed up when I restored the backup onto it. But…

Nowagu is still as awesome as always.

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He’s the best player I have easily, and the only one that knows you’re supposed to kick the ball BETWEEN the posts apparently. I guess those new boots with laser sights were worth it after all!

Anyway, I kick off two useless players to try to fix my finance budget (can’t remember their names, but they were not good players and don’t fit with my formation anyway) and Lewis returns to his club, as his loan has expired, leaving me short a good forward.

Mcgiverms contract is expiring, but he’s horrible so I decide to just let it expire. More like Mctakeum.

Gerard is retiring, just like he said. He is easily the best goalie I have, so replacing him will be very difficult, especially when the board won’t let me offer any money. 39 isn’t that old!

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His replacement, who isn't even mine, but a loan, isnt even nearly as good...

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The final four matches of the season were Gainsbough and Hyde, which I tied against 2-2 and 3-3, a loss against Histon 0-1 and a tie with Droyson 1-1. I’m not sure what happened. Hopefully this won’t matter since it’s the end of the season anyway.

Here's what the league looks like at the end of the season. I might have done pretty horribly, but I avoided relegation!

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The board ended up being quite happy in the end.

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The club's fiances are just as bad as always.

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The player list, minus two since they don't quite fit! Those two are Theo Angus and the amazing Nwaogu!

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The team status. Nothing has changed here, as the board won't splurge for better training facilities, even though they are terrible. Its probably a tin shed full of soccer balls, a fridge of gruel, a drink machine and a square of grass.

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and my status

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So now there's a choice: should I stay with Vauxhall for another season, or should I see if I can manage one of these teams?

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Most of them don't have managers, so I should get the job. Vauxhall is much better than they once were, but if people would like to see another team I could switch to one of these. Vote now!

[Ybbon]

Well as Vauxhall won't splash the cash, try another team? Not an international one though.

[Yojimbo]

Ill just stay with Vauxhall for now.

I release Theo Angus as he has been red carded four times last season, injured a few times and really shown no reason why he’s as good as my scouts say he is. Chris Noone is also released for being useless and I terminate Cain Davies another loan player for just not being any good. I finish the pruning by kicking out Keith Smith, another not so great player.

I start trying to snap up decent loan signings before anyone else does.

The first is Bobby Reid, a far, far better midfielder than Mannix.

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I also manage to sign Mathew Bullman, a useful backup goalkeeper.

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and I get a loan of a hotshot goalie (Note: this pic is new his stats probably weren't quite as good when i got him.

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Luke Chambers’ loan expires, so I am lucky that I got these two new goalkeepers when I did.

I change Williams and bullman’s training schedules to fitness, as they both have bad stamina and strength.

The benefits are almost immediately obvious.

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Of course before the first match Bobby is out for three months with a hip injury. Great.

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Our first match against Maidstone goes quite well, although it really is a ridiculous amount of goals.

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We crush Concord Rangers 4-2 then tie with Stafford.

I tweak a bunch of training schedules to try to cover up player weaknesses such as a few merely average tacklers in defence and some less than stellar physical stats.

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We hammer Worcester 1-6 in the third friendly game of the season! For once Nwaogu doesn’t socre, but nearly everyone else does.

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We thrash Alfreton even more 0-6! I’m not sure if that training changes had such a massive effect but I hope this continues!

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The next match against droyson is lost 2-0 but that hardly matters since we belt Harrogate out of the park!
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An unbelievable 9-0 win against Harrogate! Josh Wilson scored FOUR times! What a difference another forward and a proper training schedule makes!

Dartmod asks for Darmes for 16k when he’s only worth 4k I accept, but the trade does not go through because of the trading deadline.

The board are still only satisfied with my management despite fact I’ve been killing every team in the league and eating their babies the last few matches.

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The next match against Workington looked bleak as they scored first. I changed my mentiality to attacking and quickly went from 1-0 to 1-3 at halftime. A defensive mentality for the second half secured a 2-4 win!

Vauxhall is first! Pride goeth before a fall, but let’s bask in it for now!

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Nuneaton is another bug squashed against the impossibly awesome windscreen of the speeding Vauxhall, as it careens to a 3-0 victory.

The morale indicators tell the whole story about what the mood is like in the locker room.

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The press thinks we can’t win.

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But…

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Funnily enough their tune changes drastically in the next match; Sheffield are massive underdogs.

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We win but it was 2-3 my way at halftime which was a bit of a scare.

Super annoyingly Mannix is out for a month with a sprained ankle, while Horne is out for a week with a damaged foot. I must play the game against Hyde with Reid and Hannigan instead, two inferior players. Not that it matters since I kick their butt 4-0.

We finally suffer defeat against Margate 3-2, who are in a premier league and thus completely outclass us, which knocks us out of the FA cup.

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Fortunately the loss isn’t too serious as we bounce back to beat Kettering 4-2

My win/loss migth be positive soon!

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Things are looking extremely good for Vauxhall!

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[Ybbon]

Can't knock that goal difference! Not sure what the press were thinking either, hardly see why they thought Corby such overwhelming favourites. Still, you showed them the error of their ways. I see your reputation hasn't improved much though, still obscure - so Barca won't be head-hunting you just yet!

Any way you can make the graphics a bit smaller? I have to scroll to the side to see them all.

[Yojimbo]

Can't knock that goal difference! Not sure what the press were thinking either, hardly see why they thought Corby such overwhelming favourites. Still, you showed them the error of their ways. I see your reputation hasn't improved much though, still obscure - so Barca won't be head-hunting you just yet!

Any way you can make the graphics a bit smaller? I have to scroll to the side to see them all.

Hey thanks for replying glad to see you;re enjoying it!

Yeah i was surprised too felt good to prove them wrong! And yeah I guess my rep will go up when I gain promotion, or just get a positive win%. Who is Barca?

As for the images its because I was using an iPhone now I'm using my new iPad. I chose to not re-size on imageshack I'm not sure what image size i should use? Maybe 1024x768?

[Ybbon]

How can you play a soccer game and not know who Barca is? You Philistine!! Barcelona

I use picasaweb for mine and I usually go for 640x800 or something like that, probably a case of trying a few in advanced mode and seeing what they look like?

[Yojimbo]

Oh right i should have known that

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Things don’t start off so well. While we manage to pull off a 4-2 win against guernsey, after being down 0-2 at halftime, Liam Head, one of my three strikers is injured for two months during training! This creates a gaping hole, in my attack and I have no other strikers to fill it, so I have to loan a player.

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Kyle Asante fits the bill well. He’s a good shot, he’s very fast and his other stats are mostly good. I get him till the end of the season.

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In the next match against Braintree, Asante is the first to score, but super annoyingly its disallowed because Mahon was offside.

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Fortunately soon after he nails it!

This is followed by four shots at goal in a row by Braintree that miss and 2 goals for each side. Vauxhall draw level in the 77th minute and it ends in a 3-3 tie.

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Somebody who is almost my namesake gets sacked! He gets another job offer sometime after however. I’m not really sure how to improve Asante. My scout tells me he’s “not good enough”, even though he has a better shooting stat than either of my star SCs and he’s very good in other stats. I decide to stick him on technical training.

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In the match against Hickney, which we win 6-3 Hannigan, a defender with 5 shooting skill somehow scores, even though he’s a centre back, way back in my territory. It’s his first ever senior goal and I’ve had him on my team since the start. Amusingly, the opposing goalie has a 4 match rating as we lead 4-1 at half time.

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I check Hickneys formation after the game and it’s a total mess. Injured players, tired players, players completely out of position, mostly awful morale Only a few players have decent morale. I guess Kerry has high morale because he was injured and thus didn’t see the game.

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Vauxhall is romping home by a street! Look at that f/a!

I praise a few of my players, including the injured Liam Head. Moogan has not been playing well so I criticize him for his crappy 4 match rating. He gets annoyed and his morale plummets.

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My goalie is lacking confidence, but since he’s a loan signing I can’t talk to him. I decide to sub Bullman in for a game or two to give Ritchie a chance to get his head back into the game.


Our next opponent, Gloucester is another team who is having problems with injuries and low morale. This should be a very easy win. Gloucester offer little resistance as I calmly proceed to rip their soul out and beat them with it in an epic 8-0 win, in which Nwaogu and Kyle get hattricks!!

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In the next game against Stalybridge Celtic I can’t use Nowagu, as he is playing in an international game. Head is still injured. Short a striker yet again I use Holsgrove, an AML. He’s not very suited to the position but I’m out of options. Happily, Wilson saves us again by booting three for a hat trick. Holsgrove also kicks a goal! We end up destroying them 6-2. Holsgrove has become a better midfielder than Burgess so I give him a first team place permanently.

Chester is brushed aside like a bug. They even manage to miss a goal while inside the penalty box! Reid is injured, but we thump them 5-1.

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Wilson is showing some insane form, as this is his fourth game in a row with a 10 match rating!

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I probably should stop telling everyone how good he is so I talk about how good Wilson is instead.

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Yes I ended to stop talking.

Gainsborough is ahead 2-1 at half time, but we come back for a 3-2 win.

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Ha..haha hahahaMUAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!! All the press did most of the season was call me underdogs…

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The board couldn’t be happier with the destruction I’ve wrought.

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Beating down all corners. That f/a is crazy.

[Ybbon]

let's hope your form continues, that's a heck of a goal difference ratio there! Now no snatching defeat from the jaws of victory and it should be promotion at the end of the season.