P***** Off

[Tom Cruise HAWK]

No matter what i say or do with some people in a certain group of people i cant win.Everything i do and say is wrong and yet if others do and say the same as me they are right.
Should i find a new group?Should i isolate myself?
Even if i do something great they only see the bad in the situation.

[Nutsack]

It has to do with social hierarchy and you don't seem to be faring too well. Since they don't treat you with respect you should look for other people to hang out with. If they treat you with disrespect then don't hesitate to point that out. Such as, whenever I encounter someone who frequently interrupts me when I'm talking I usually bring a very serious tone to my voice and ask them "why do you feel the need to keep interrupting me when I talk, it's very disrespectful". And depending on how far I want to push it I can usually build upon that to make my point more aggressive and dominant. Most people will fall for that, admitting to themselves that they've been rude in interrupting someone who was talking. And of course I try to make sure I don't interrupt people myself because otherwise I'd be a hypocrite.

If what you say has no value then you simply don't have respect. And respect has to be earned. And respect does come from fear, but not exclusively as a lot of other other different factors play a role in determening where respect comes from. But it would be easier for you if you would just change social circles. Because once established, power structures are extremely hard to move.

[Nazgūl Killer]

I do agree with Nutsack here, this sounds like a social hierarchy issue, but I wouldn't advise switching friends so quickly. Instead, I would try and earn their respect because, well, if they disrespect you then it's just a matter of time until the next social circle will too - Unless you learn how to prevent that in the first place, don't you think?

As for how to make them respect you, that's up to you and them (You know them better) - But one thing I will tell you: If they are the sort of people who need violence for respect, then you need to steer way clear of them... However it doesn't seem like they are that sort of bunch.

[Lord Baal]

I'll say go Last Samurai on them! That worked out well for you... no, wait, wasn't that the time you got riddle by a gattling gun?

Ok, new plan. First find out if they have access to gattling's. If not go all samurai on their rears!!! Hahahaha....


Now, in all seriousness, are this group of people from the internet, your neighborhood, you school, some sports club, your family?

[Tom Cruise HAWK]

Well its in laws but they only do nasty things on face book and by txts as they can't do it to my face as they are cowardly.I also think some people are jealous as i am doing well and every time i get something they don't have they freak out. If my tv is bigger or my sofa better or car newer and more expensive i see on their faces they are not happy about me being happy.I put on some weight and it was non stop nasty comments about it even though some of the people calling me fathead etc are now bigger than i was? I mean why when they get drunk in the middle of the night do they have to pick my mobile to ring?They would not do this to any other people just me?I was too nice to begin with and i think they saw me being nice to them as a weakness and think they can victimize me now. I gave up face book over them yesterday.I am keeping my distance from them as i feel i will get into less hassle if i just do my own thing.They are also back biting people who say terrible things about each other then are all pally when they see each other.Real 2 face people so it makes me paranoid.Maybe i do not have the social skills to keep up with these people. But the rest of my life is perfect so i should not be feeling like a outcast.

[Lord Baal]

At risk of sounding rude, and hoping no moderator ban me, but ING IGNORE THEM! Of course no need to be rude with them but there's also no need for you to be specially nice to them, just treat them with polite indifference and try to avoid sharing with them.

I did not catch if they are in laws from your girlfriend/fiancée/wife or your brother/sister/mom/dad/cousin/uncle or some one else. In any case sit down and talk to the one that's making them in law with you and explain what's going on, so you don't leave this person wondering about why you suddenly dropped communication channels with her/his family.

Cases like this make me thanks to the heavens for my in laws, they are a crazy, yet loving and fun band of people. Specially my mother in law, she's a really fine person!

[Tom Cruise HAWK]

That's the thing i wish i had in laws like you have.I mean i don't have a mam or dad so i believed having a mother in law and father in law would be good but they are nuts.The mother is a recluse who never leaves the house to even visit her kids.And some of the others are jealous i have a car and a house and go on holidays to Spain a lot.But they also are often jealous of each other as well.When there is a occasion where we all have to meet up i cringe at the thought of being asked 20 questions by nosy people or have to just play like we all get along.My wife knows how i feel and she is ok with me not going to some of the party's as i have told her i feel like i am standing in a room with people that don't even like me.

Am i normal to feel like this.....
Am i making the right decision to try to keep people at arms length??

[Lord Baal]

Oh dude, sorry to hear you didn't have a mom or dad.... well there's the catch of life, you never know what to expect from people. I say to bad for them since they are the ones that are loosing. Setting the my little pony and killing desires things aside you sound like a fine dude.

[Nazgūl Killer]

I think you're making the right call with keeping your distance from them, it's a decision that will benefit you in the long-haul. I find it better to be left without friends, than to be friends better fitting as enemies.

You have nothing to prove to anyone, you're better off finding real friends than wasting your time on people like those. They sound like quite the poisonous bunch.


Generally speaking: If something in your life doesn't feel right, makes you feel bad or the likes... Change it. If you don't like how your friends behave, and I doubt you can re-educate them, remove them from your life. Find a new social circle. That's what I'd do, and I have done so in the past.


You're making the right choice mate.

[Nutsack]

Yeah you're definitely making the right choice, as friends like you describe them can't be trusted, and can't be relied upon to help you. They might feel like friends, but that's what they want you to think, when in fact they're probably talking about you behind your back. I've had the friends who did this to me and I can relate, and we're no longer friends because a lot of trouble had gone down when money came into the picture, because they valued money above our friendship.

And besides, by not giving you proper respect and still being friends with you puts them in a dominant position where they are more attractive to females for simply being above someone else. They can probably rely upon you to help them too when they need it.

To be honest you shouldn't trust what they say, I must have made that mistake a million times. I still trust people I shouldn't (and whom I know I shouldn't trust).

[boofhead]

Grow up and don't do ''groups''. Forget schoolyard cliques.

[Dean Martin]

Respect for each other in friendships is one of the most important things, without it it's even hard to call such relation friendly anymore, I remember that when i was younger I meet some people through a friend( we are not friends anymore ). I was young and naive I had told him about some of my problems and he pass them without my knowing to his friends, then when they saw me next time they laughed at me and i realised that a person who i entrusted personal information passed them to some people that i even didn't know to good. I got a harsh lesson and from that incident I've learned to better pick up new friends. Now I'm middle aged guy with some real good and close friends many off them I know from "the old times" and i know that i can trust them. Time, patience and respect of each other is the key for making real friendships in most cases.

[Ishoss]

Grow up and don't do ''groups''. Forget schoolyard cliques.

Only read the first post, have we mister Boofhead?