I caught the dreaded oneitis

[Robertclive]

Some time ago I was on this section ******* about not getting girls. I decided to actually go out and try and I made progress. I got rejected by some girls, but I took them like a grain of salt and moved on. No big deal. Well, I eventually met this one gal and she showed high interest and I let my completely guard down. She also had an awesome personality and was cute which is my major weakness. She gave me multiple chances to make a move and I ******* it up and her interest lowered. I can't get her out of my head and I've tried to go talk to other girls, but it still won't work. I had a chance with this 3 girls the other night, but the oneitis got in my head. I've been really depressed about this and really want to get over this.

[Armatus]

Live and learn is all I can say, I'd put money on the likelihood there's nothing you can say or do to restore her interest.

Women (especially the smart cute ones) tend to move on fairly quickly as there's always another jerk standing in line.

[Nazgūl Killer]

Well, two options:

If you think this is truly 100% over... The only thing I can say is 'give it time'. Heck, maybe even stop trying to hitch up so often as this may simply spring up memories. If there is absolutely no hope for this, then it is best you move on and try to forget about her, whatever way you can.

Eventually you will indeed forget about her, it might be sooner and it might be later (That depends on who you are as a person and the things you went through in life and with her), but you will eventually. That much I can promise you.

However, if you're not 100% sure that this is over... Why not try and rekindle the flame?

...However... I have to support Arma here, I can't ignore the possible situation in which you might be able to rekindle the flame, however, these situations are quite rare... So rare in fact, that I've only seen them happen in movies.

Honestly, I don't fully believe in the second option, but I'm not a guy to say no to things like that. I think you're better off going with the first option of forgetting all about her. Go out with your friends, have fun, get drunk if you want to, just have mindless fun and goof around with the guys. That always helps.

Eventually, whilst you may think of her 5 times a day today, you'll think of her less and less... Before you notice it, you'll think about it once a day... Then once a week... Down to reminding yourself accidentally of the good times you've had after three weeks without thinking about her... And suddenly you find a gorgeous woman in your hands some time later. The only thing I can tell you is that this will pass. It will. I promise you, Robert.

But as for tips on how to get over her... Just stay away from women for time being perhaps? (Helped me), or, in fact, take it to the extreme and date someone. This might help also (This also helped me, honestly). But more importantly: Learn to draw energy from your friends. If they are truly your friends they will gladly give you some of theirs, they won't mind it. Have fun with them, goof around... Honestly, my friends are the main reasons I've gotten over my ex in the past. They've been tremendous. I'm sure this will be the case for you as well.

My final note: This is not the end of the world. With each so-called 'failed' relationship (I don't see any relationship as a failed one, and I'm just about to tell you why), you learn more. You're smarter now thanks to that relationship. You know better. You're a more experienced individual now... And as Armatus said: "Live and learn". You never learn from succeeding, you only learn from failing. However, don't view this relationship as a failure, because you did learn from it and you did have a good time while at it, didn't you? So it's not a failure in my book.

[Lord of the Drunk Penguin]

Oneitis? What's oneitis?

[Armatus]

it's a sickness

[Nazgūl Killer]

Otherwise known as 'Falling in love', 'Having a crush on someone' or, in extreme cases, 'Loving someone'.

[Lord Baal]

Ohhh I was worried about Robert, oneitis sounds like a really awful ear infection...

[Robertclive]

My oneitis for her keeps going on and off. I've been talking to other girls, but I can't get her out of my head. I really thought I was going to get a gf out of this.

[Armatus]

I really thought I was going to get a gf out of this.

#1 fail. Never assume anything.

[Robertclive]

I know, I didn't want to either.

College is over and I'm going home and I'm going back to my old self before I entered college. The dark ages are ahead

[Armatus]

Now I'm depressed...

[Robertclive]

You should be

[Armatus]

There is only one thing for you to do at this point.

Join the Blues social group.

[Robertclive]

Breaking point: She hates my ass now yayyy

[Nazgūl Killer]

You're better just letting her go mate. If she wants you, she will come chasing you. If she doesn't, she won't.

[Robertclive]

I know it sucks, I thought she was gonna be my first

[Nazgūl Killer]

It's aight mate. Don't worry about it. You'll have plenty of time to get your 'first'. I know quite a few people whose first real girlfriend came at 19, 20, 21 and I even know a guy that it came to him when he was 24.

Don't be pressured. By anything. Not by your friends, not by society... To each his own experiences and his own decisions in life, and eventually you have to live with those decisions, choices, mistakes and successes. Eventually you have to live your life, you don't live it for others.


Don't worry about it mate. There's no rush. It's better that you 'fail' with this one and find an amazing one (Perhaps better) along the road, with whom you won't 'fail'. It's a learning curve.

[Armatus]

And if all else fails by the time you're 40 there's still Russian brides well unless their economy improves by then, at which point you'd still have Amsterdam and Vegas.

[Robertclive]

Tried to go hang out with friends today and talk to other girls. Every little thing reminded me of her and I almost cried in front of friends. I was in a ***** mood in front of them and they probably think less of me. Can't get on facebook because I have pictures with her on it and it makes me feel like ****. I can't even watch porn anymore. Haven't done it in 4 weeks.

[Armatus]

Oh man you really got it bad, all I can say is that you'll grow out of this sort of thing in time, with more experiences your skin will toughen. As long as the sun rises there will be new opportunities, leave the past where it is.