Short story : The King's Cousin & The battle of Mbindizi River
I am preparing this for the writers competition, and would you any kind of input about the style and the story, it is just a short about a famous battle in XV century Angola.
This is the first half were I try to set the setting and characters, I still need to finish the second half and maybe need to add some more characters.
Here you go then :
The King's Cousin : Mbindizi River rematch.
It is often said that time is money, however saying so doesn't say how cheap or expensive it is. What is half-day worth ? Sure a laborer would know because his pay depended on, but the stares of his colleagues gave to Miguel the impression that being a day too short cost him his honor, as the shame of being the captain of the only pristine batallion on the now retreating Soyo forces was crushing his shoulder. The Count and his Fidalgos had already departed in the morning with the pieces of artillery and the heretics, leaving his close adviser X to orginize the retreat of the rest of the force and prevent them from melting away in the landscape. Dozens of his colleagues were carried by their servants in makeship stretches, those who could walk had their shirts, armor and weapons stained in blood, not of the enemy but of their fellow fidalgos and retinue, while some had been captured by the enemy to an uncertain fate, and further away a priest was administering the extreme auction to a few damned souls before they were put to the ground. The commoners had all but evaporated, some fleeing north deeper into Soyo and others marching south to beg for the mercy of the heathen portuguese and their dogs. It was certainly painful to remain unscanted in this sea of grief, anger, and despair, so He had his servants melt some more bullets and his captain practice swordplay with some of green among the retinue, maybe to give some semblance of being in a war, but soon the charade was interupted by a mensager as the Prince requested him at once.
The weapons and armor became progressively heavier as the climate went from the sweet breeze of the morning to the crushing weight of the sun as it sat on the peak of the sky, but by then they had reached their destination and overlooked the valley below. Miguel was given command of the rear action as Captain of a force of four fidalgos and their retinue, partly because of his lord confidence that his education in Sao Tome would allow him to deal with the cavalry said to be part of the raiding party, however He knew that the cost of shipping the animals from Brazil meant that they wouldn't use be used against such small sardine as him but this being his first command it would be innapropriate to contractidict his Lord. But as the these and and others thought run trough his mind for a couple of minutes the enemy finally emerged from across the valley , and moments later a messenger run across asking for talks with the captain.
Roughly equal forces sat at the top of opposing hills as their captains, accompanied by a handful of body guards, met at the bottom of the valey under a imbondeiro for palaver.
I, Joao da Silva, Capitan under order of Don Y, by the Grace of the Lord Almighty, King of Portugal, Brazil, and Angola, as the portuguese gesticulated with all sorts of maneirism mimicking spanish etiquete, and I hereby came to request that you repent from your actions and denounce the depraved actions of the prince of Soyo.
I, Miguel da Cabra, Capitan under order of Don X, by the Grace of the Lord Almigty, rightful King of Kongo, declare to you that no man puts arms and armor to surrender, but the solemnity of the speech was lost in the last syllabes as one of the opposing bodyguards was attracting His eyes. For some reason this particular one was different from the other, his height, his skin paintings and then a convulsion ran through his body when the nature of the bones pendant he was wearing became clear in Miguel's mind. I see that you brough your dogs along, He said refering to the spear wielding men.
Well you must understand that I cant' always controll them, his counterpart remarked as a smirk ran across the face as he presented a shield to Miguel, we got a few of those from those surrendered to us at Mbidizi river and I think that you will need it.
Keep it, Miguel shortly interrupted, as you will need it when I will come for your head after I gut these dogs of yours. The smirk became a wide smiles before asking if this was a challenge to a duel, but no more words as muskets and swords would now settle the day.
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Originally Posted by Dance
