Issue X.5

[imb39]

Helios - Issue X.5

Evening all, it's me, Menander. Quell your gasps of incredulity - I am indeed back once again, for another issue of our estimable news-rag: The Helios. However, my function in this issue is in a somewhat less official capacity than normal.
This issue, I am no more than a herald, introducing my royal majesty, King Henry V who has sweated behind the scenes to produce yet another flawless issue.
Without further ado, I hand over to King Henry V!

Upon hearing the consternation of my devoted fans such as the Grim Squeaker when there was no contribution on my part in Issue X of the Helios (which was frankly due to my laziness: only this morning I told Perikles that I “seriously need to write my bit for the Helios”, at that moment I did not even know that Issue X had come out four days ago), I resolved to deliver my usual round of interviews, jokes, articles and the latest goings on in the VV. So here I am, joined for the first time by Perikles , who will be writing his roundup of the latest M:TWII music and the not-so-latest music of Pink Floyd.

Interview with Tacticalwithdrawal

King Henry V closes the door to his office behind him with a sheaf of papers in one hand and an attaché-case in another. He walks up to the secretary’s desk in the hall and places the papers on her desk.
“If you could type those up for me, Miss Briggs, please and forward them to Menander’s office, if you please. Oh and call a taxi, please.” KHV glances at his watch. “Never mind about that, I’ll hail one myself.”
He puts on his trilby hat and exits the office. Outside in the street, there is the usual post-rush hour traffic lull. KHV searches for a taxi, spots one and hails it. He clambers into the back of the cab.
“To the Imperial Consul’s Palace,” he tells the driver.
The cab drives down the long, elegant boulevards of TWC, one of the most important cities in the land of Total War. The city was divided into three sections, each separated from each other by the river Tee that ran through the city. On the Western side was the Total War area, a bustling community full of workshops, and on the Eastern Side was the area known as the Common Community, a district where forums, taverns, libraries, clubs and restaurants were plentiful. Between these two districts lay the island of the Curia, where the laws of TWC were passed by the meritocratic aristocrats, the civitates, and government decided. Certain districts were open to non-civitates; however, most areas were limited to those who wore the distinctive coloured strips of braid around their sleeve hems.
The taxi drives onto the great five sided-square where the power in TWC was centred. On the left was the Curia, next to which stood the Republican Consul’s Palace. Further down the square was the Hexagon, a six-sided building with a great dome. Though technically it was the name of the government formed by the four Praetors, the Two Consuls and the Imperator, the Hexagon building was the headquarters for all members of staff, as well as the meeting place for the newly created Consilium de Civitate. Directly opposite the Curia building was the grand Palace of the Imperator, the Regent who ruled supreme in TWC in the name of Ogres Net, the overlords of the city. It was attached to this magnificent edifice that stood the Imperial Consul’s Palace with its own grounds and gardens, adjacent to that of the Republican Consul. The taxi stops in front of the palace gates. KHV gets out of the cab; pays the driver and walks up to one of the guards on duty.
“King Henry V of the Helios to see Consul Tacticalwithdrawal,” he says to the guard. The guard scans through a piece of paper, nods and tells KHV to go to the reception where he will be given directions to the Consul’s office. KHV proceeds down the tree-lined avenue and enters the palace’s hall, which is abuzz as clerks and secretaries run from room to room, dealing with all the new paperwork caused by the new Syntagma. KHV goes to the reception to ask for directions and then ascends the magnificent marble staircase to the first floor, and walks down one of the long corridors until finally arriving before the Consul’s office door. He knocks and enters.
“King Henry V of the Helios. I believe Lord Tacticalwithdrawal is expecting me.”
The secretary goes into the Consul’s office, announces KHV’s arrival and waves him through before closing the door.
“Please excuse me for my lateness,” KHV apologises, “an interview took rather longer than expected.”
“Never mind, KHV, but I would be grateful if you could make this quick, I have an appointment with the Imperator at noon,” Tacticalwithdrawal says. “Oh, and please, take a seat.”
KHV sits down and opens his portfolio, takes out his notebook and his pen and leafs through the pages.
“So…”

1. So, for the readers of the Helios, newcomers and people who simply don't have very long memories, how did you come to TWC, and how did you rise through the ranks?

I came to TWC because I really enjoyed playing vanilla RTW but wanted more of a challenge. I found Rome Total Realism (which was still at TWC in those days), moved on to the Roma mod (which still has one of the hardest battles ever) and SPQR. Then I got hooked on the discussions in Thema Devia and the Mudpit and haven't looked back since.

Seleukos offered to be my patron and I accepted and got elected. I then got onto the decumvirate council re-writing the syntagma (now that was a challenge and a half). From there I got approached to be a UL, but turned it down a couple of times (didn't feel I was ready) before accepting and then found myself being elected a Quaestor and then promoted to Praetor and now Consul.

2.What has been your most memorable experience so far here? Have done any actions that you now regret?

The most memorable is definitely getting elected as Civitate and making my first post in the Curia, I can still remember the joy of getting the civitate badge, and I the terror I felt waiting for a reply to my first Curia post, luckily they were gentle.

Things I regret? I suppose I should say what I did to pwn LV last month as that got my knuckles rapped hard by Archer, but no, it was worth it LV almost had a heart attack (but I have promised to be good and not do it again).

3.Tell us a little bit a about yourself. What do you do in your spare time (outside of TWC)?

I'm married with two kids, both boys, aged 2 and 5, so there's no such a thing as spare time. I'm teaching the oldest boy to ride his bike (he needs a shove to start and crashes to stop) and we've just moved to Stirling in Scotland so all the fun of settling into a new area and organising work on the house has to be done.

When I get time I want to go back to Paragliding and sailing, and learn to ride horses.

4. Do you have a favourite holiday destination? Would specifically like to go somewhere?

Okavango Delta in Botswana, the most amazingly beautiful and peaceful place I have ever visited (if you ignore the lions walking past your tent in the middle of the night).

5. Do you have any personal ambitions for the future?

Get a pay rise, with two kids I need the cash

6.What do you like most about TWC?
The people. It's one of the friendliest and most helpful sites I've ever visited. New people don't get flamed or hassled for being new, requests for help are always quickly answered and the standard and variety of topics discussed is amazing.

7. Which moderator do you most admire or respect? Do you have a favourite poster for whose posts you always look out?

I always liked the way Ardeur, TBN and Seleukos moderated, calm and simple. Of the current staff I don't think I really could pick one as we have a really strong team in place and all the moderators, particularly the UL's, are brilliant.

I like Cluny as his posts are always amusing, Garbarsardar, Wilpuri, Nihil, Manji, ThiudareiksGunthigg, gigagaia are always good, and there are loads more who I'm sure I'll remember the instant I send this reply.

8. Why the name?

I used to play wargames a lot and I was renowned for feigning retreats to draw people into traps and for running away so I could fight another day. I've been using the name for years and did a mod for the battle of Albuhera (Napolionic Peninsular war) which you can still find if you google my name.

9. Which, for you, is the most important forum at TWC (is it the forum you spend the most time in).

My 'home' at TWC is probably the SPQR forum followed by the Curia and the mudpit. For some reason Staff forum seems to be a regular point of contact as well

10. Do you have any plans at TWC for the future? Do you have a vision of TWC in the coming years?

In the short term I want to fix the current disconnect between what Ogre's Net and the Curia view of the site. I don't think people really realise how serious this could be and how close the Curia came in the last month or so to losing all of its rights and powers. Hopefully the new Syntagma will go a long way to stopping this happening again.

Longer term I want to start getting all of us to focus a bit more beyond TWC. We are one of the biggest sites for RTR there is (probably the biggest) but we need to build on that. Interviews with CA, exclusives for their new games, expansion into looking at other games, new things for people to get involved in, all these need to be thought through. As a site I think we tend to navel-gaze a lot in the Curia and that also sucks in staff focus. We need to change that and start focussing on improving TWC and growing it as we go forward.

King Henry V walks out of the Palace with his portfolio in hand. He stops and takes his diary out of his pocket.
“Lunch with Garb at 12 o’clock,” his next appointment reads. KHV glances at his watch. Five to twelve. “Damn!” he exclaims and runs out of Curia Square.
“Taxi!”

Helios Writing Competition Winner Announced!

This week Americ and I decided the winner of the Helios’ May Writing Contest, and we both reached the same conclusion that the best entry was that of Keresztes! Here is his piece of writing:

Thursday Night


Rick looked out his window, like he always has. He marked off the day on the calendar with a red pen a little early, just like always for the last four years. After going through this routine, he calmly shut off the lights, locked the door, and stepped outside to do what most people don’t do. The time was 10:30 P.M., and he was going to take a car that wasn’t his.

He’d gotten into the repossession business five years ago, after earning a general studies certificate at a local technical school. Despite having some schooling under his belt, he had still felt as lost and hopeless as he had felt in high school. He needed to move out of his parent’s home, and he needed some work. He needed something to anchor his life to, and it was by freak chance that somebody mentioned the phrase “Repo Men” to him. After doing some looking on the internet he became intrigued, and had decided to try it.

His best friend and business partner, Sean, was sitting in the driver’s seat of the red Ford Focus parked in front of the apartment. They’d stuck it out through high school and beyond. Quick witted and calm, Sean was a natural first choice when it came to a partner. Plopping down in the passenger’s seat, Rick grunted out a quick “Hey man,” and buckled up as the car began cutting forward through the cool night air.

“How’re things going on the home front,” Rick asked. “Carla’s not riding you TOO hard?” His raucous giggle was accompanied by a sharp ‘whipped’ hand gesture.

“Pssht. Yer just jealous ‘cause the women don’t like your catcher’s mitt of a face. I don’t blame ‘em either.”

Despite Sean’s best attempt to keep a straight face, his trademark lopsided smile slowly crept over his clean shaven face. The only notable difference between the two was Rick’s beard. Both were around six feet tall, had dark brown hair, and had a similar medium build. Hell, they even had the same birthday, down to the month, date, and year. Incredible coincidence, really.

“Alright,” Rick said, “The bank says that the debtor lives at 303 Albertson Street. You’ve got the key, right?”

“Yeah. Had them made this afternoon.”

“Great. If we do this one quickly we’ll probably have time enough to do another job tonight.”

Albertson street was on the other side of town, four miles away. They didn’t speak much as they rode, and Rick began to get the feeling that something was bothering his partner. It was probably nothing though. When they pulled up, Sean parked across the street from a small, run down blue house with 303 on the door. A red Chevy was parked in the driveway, since the house lacked even a garage.

“Look at that,” Rick breathed, “Just sitting there. This is going to be a snap.”

Walking right up the side of the car, he checked the VIN number on the dashboard, matching it with the one provided by the bank. It was the right car. Rick already had his key in the car door when he heard the house’s door open. A man stepped out, and Rick knew at first sight that this meant trouble. While there was nothing outwardly wrong with him, Rick could tell by his body language that he was going to be aggressive and somewhat unbalanced. He needed to calm him down quickly before things escalated.

“Sir? Hi. I’m Rick Langer, and I’ve been contracted by the Bank of the West to repossess your vehicle. Apparently you’ve been somewhat behind in your payments. If you’ll let me show you the…”

“What?” yelled the man. “You can’t do that! You ****ing car thief. I swear I’m gonna…”

Rick decided then and there that showing the bank contract and his ID wasn’t going to solve anything. Even before the man finished drawing his hand out of his pocket he knew that he had a knife. He turned and sprinted for the Focus, hearing the man’s footfalls chasing after him. To his horror, the car was already pulling away. It was only by incredible luck that he managed to get a hold on the door handle. The car stopped, but he had the feeling it was only to avoid dragging him. Throwing himself inside, he screamed “GO” and they sped up, leaving the knife-man behind in the night. He settled into his seat and turned to face Sean.

“You *******. What the hell were you thinking? I could’ve broken bones if I’d been dragged, not to mention what that nut would’ve done to me.”

“I’m the ass now, eh? Right. You can just screw my woman, and you’re faultless, isn’t that right? Of course the great benevolent Rick can do no harm. No, never.”

“Screw your woman? What the hell are you talking about, Sean? You know I’d never touch Carla.”

“Never? Right. So I didn’t see you flirting with her at the grocery store, then? I know when she’s hiding something.”

“Last week? Yeah, I talked to her. You know how her parent’s anniversary came up? You know how they’re in Paris?”

“Yeah, so?”

“So think about it, man. My father is a travel agent. She was talking to me because she wanted to set that trip up as a gift to them. And since my dad handles that kind of stuff…”

Sean stared straight ahead, staying silent for a short while.

“Oh god, Rick, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I should’ve known. Sometimes I get this feeling about her… I just went crazy for a bit. I’m so…

“Look man, its alright. I can forgive you. Really, just…” Rick gave out a nervous laugh, “just talk first, okay? It’s alright.”

The car pulled up outside Sean’s apartment.

“The other car’s keys are inside,” Sean said sheepishly, “I forgot them. I’ll be right out.”

Rick watched Sean walk up to the apartment door and open it. Carla was framed in the doorway, her brown sweater pulled up to reveal her ample breasts. She was down on her knees, her beautiful lips wrapped around the neighbor’s member.

Also very good was Rez’s entry, a tale of the betrayal of one’s beliefs.

“Declan was a good man.” That’s what they said at his funeral, and it was true. His friends mourned Declan with grave and passionate anguish, Declan’s wife cried in lament for true love lost.

“The world is a worse place for losing him.” The priest had also said this, again he spoke the truth. Declan had touched the hearts of almost everyone he met, his sense of self sacrifice was surpassed only by his repeated self-depreciation. Depression aside, Declan had made every attempt to be a selfless man and he was loved for it.

“He is with God now.” The oration had finished with these five simple words. They were however, entirely incorrect. Declan was an Atheist…

Read the rest of Rez’s entry and the others’ here.
A big round of applause for the all participants in the thread and to our volunteer judge, Americ, who willingly read all those magnificent pieces of…. writing. Don’t be afraid to give them some reputation, they deserve it.

Joke of the Week

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. This being a big event, the girl tells her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and "do it" for the first time. Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never done it before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some protection. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about protection and doing it. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many he'd like to buy; a 3-pack, a 10-pack, or a family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be very busy, it being his first time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parent's house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in." The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer with his head down. Ten minutes pass and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to her boyfriend, "I had no idea you were so religious." The boy turns and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."

This week in the Vestigia Vestutatis

This week in the VV there appeared four very fine articles by two posters on two very different subjects. scottishranger began by posting his almost neglected History of the Medieval Cannon, and continued with his very fine article on Greek Fire, What Is It?. Simultaneously, Turnus posted his beautifully done first articles on the House of the de’ Medici, the Renaissance rulers of Florence, first with Cosimo de’ Medici and then with Piero de’ Medici. There would be no surprise if these two become Civitates before the end of the month.
Continuing in the footsteps of the Lithuania and Balts from 1000 to 1600 AD thread, Eastern European History threads seem to be surprisingly popular, notably this week with a topic on Viktor Suvorov, the controversial Russian historian. Also popular this week are With which side do you sympathise, North or South? on the causes for which the Union and the Confederacy were fighting in the American Civil War, Your country’s greatest victory and Coins of Rome and the Ancient World, where people post pictures of ancient coins and others have to identify them. There is also fierce debate in Myths and facts of the Holocaust, where the atmosphere is getting heated. Moderators are standing by.

Featured Article of the Week

The 4th June marks the 67th anniversary of when the S.S St Louis and the 963 Jewish refugees from Germany on board were refused entry to the United States, forcing the ship to return to Europe, where Belgium, France, Holland and Great Britain each agreed to take a share of the refugees. Unfortunately, all except Britain were overrun in 1940, and thus most of the refugees would perish in the Nazi concentration camps. This even would later be represented in the film, the Voyage of the Damned.

I now give the floor to the “spamtastic” Perikles !



Music Reviews

Welcome to the Helios' first ever music review. I have way to much free time now that my exams are over, and this is Total War Center so I thought I would talk about the new M2TW Soundtrack and one album you should all know for good measure....

Medieval 2: Total War Music review

Some clips of the music for the forthcoming Medieval 2:Total war have been relesed, I'm sure you've heard of it, and they can be found here...Yup that's it click me! Then just click on the 'SoundTracks' link.

The first clip, 'Going Home' has a bit of a Scottish theme. And includes lot's of cheering, I would imagine this clip to be used after winning a battle, with you been Scotland or another similar nation. It is very similar to a piece in RTW, where you had won a abattle with a barbarian nation.

The Second excerpt is entitled 'Euro Lose', no prizes for guessing when they this clip shall be used. It is almost entirly an instrumental piece and has quite a sombre feel to put you down after losing to them pesky Brigands!

The next clip called 'Euro Battle' opens with a spine chilling organ piece. It has a definite marching beat to it in parts and then speeds up towards the point where the battle would be taking place. It makes good use of the Choir and is in in my opinion a very good piece of composing. You could just imagine your knights charging down a hill to the sound of this.

The last piece, 'Lakota Lambada' has a good drum beat and sounds very 'American Indian'. This will most definitely be played when you cross the Atlantic and try to civilise and conquer the Aztecs, and steal their riches.

Verdict: I would say this soundtrack is very promising, I just can't wait to play the final thing!

Pink Floyd - Dark Side of the Moon

Definitely one of the best and most well-known albums of all time. It is close to musical to perfection to many, me included. There are 10 tracks on this album:

1. Speak To Me
2. Breathe
3. On The Run
4. Time
5. Great Gig In The Sky
6. Money
7. Us And Them
8. Any Colour You Like
9. Brain Damage
10. Eclipse

They all stand out in their own right. But the best songs are 'Money', 'Time', 'Great Gig in the Sky' and 'Us and Them'. I think most people will have heard 'Money', and would agree that it is an excellent song, but the others I mentioned are just as good if not better.

Verdict: You must own this already? Right?

KHV: Nope, can’t say that I do. So folks, that is all from us! Must say one thing though, it’s lucky that I’m posting this myself, as this is already 6 pages on Word. This would explode the PM limit if I sent it…

Brought to you by: Menander, King Henry V and Perikles .

[King Henry V]

Oh, and a thank you for Dorian Gray for posting this issue, when all others who had contacted failed.

[Tom Paine]

Excellent, we get an interview this time, now we just need to hope that communications ensure one in issue XI too...

[Spiff]

Nice, very interesting read.

[Perikles]

Oi You! Yes you, my patron! Why am I always 'Spamtastic'? It now seems KHV has caught the disease.... :wink:

I only wrote that today too.....

...when all others who had contacted failed.

And he does mean everyone.....

[Sétanta]

I liked this article very much, especially the description of TWC...exactly how I pictured it.

[imb39]

Actually, it was a very good read. Should anyone want to rep me for that post, feel free...

[Perikles]

Actually, it was a very good read. Should anyone want to rep me for that post, feel free...

*cough* He didn't do any work.... *cough*

Rep this way, that's it this way!

(j/k)

[Saint-Germain]

Dammit! I have given out too much rep!

Umm, do we want this on the front page or what?

[Sétanta]

Yes you do. Its that good.

[Saint-Germain]

It's up!

[Obi Wan Asterix]

Sorry could not post it earlier lads... fixed some minor formatting errors!

Fantastic read... still reading. In fact will have to print and take it on the metro to work with me

[Kara Kolyo]

Wow a thread that i started is mentioned in The Helios!!! Viktor Suvorov is the thread if anyone wonders very nice edition generaly

[scottishranger]

What's this! My name has been mentioned in the Helio's for not one article, but two. I am honored to have been included in this paper. Check my two articles out for a good read. (in my humble opinion)

[Hub'ite]

Hmmm I never knew we had articles like this. Interesting read, keem em coming.

[Saint-Germain]

Hmmm I never knew we had articles like this. Interesting read, keem em coming.

[Hub'ite]

I know its sad that I've been here forever and didn't know. Well at least I know now. Looks like alot of work is put into them. I'm gonna have to go back and read them. At least you got a new reader.

[King Henry V]

Yes, we certainly need more publicity, I think. Quite a few regulars in the CC don't frequent the TW section, so they aren't so "near" and often miss such things as the Helios, and the front page is not often seen as most frequenters of TWC have it as their homepage anyway.