The Helios - Issue X
This is a very special edition of the Helios, readers. (All 310 of you. In a site of 11,952 members, you'd think there'd be more Helios afficionados...)
As I said before moving into the dangerous no-man's-land of self-pity, this is a wonderful and special edition of TWC's favourite and most regulary-released newspost. This is, in fact, the tenth edition of the Helios. One could say that it is a kind of birthday...
...A PARTY!
As they say, it is "going off". As far as a party full of gamer nerds and wannabe-philosophers can "go", at any rate. Which isn't all that far. Regardless, everyone is having a whale of a time.
* * *
Soundgarden is on the stereo, but no-one is dancing. In fact, talking and boozing seem to be the only things going on in the eternal party-zone that is TWC.
Atheist Peace is proving to be a rather unlikely Agony Aunt, as supplicants gather around him, trying to find solace from their problems in the cruel, cruel world that is Real Life.
Standing around a fluted corinthian pillar, the philosophers are discussing - over their non-alcoholic punch (remember, kids, that just because you are on TWC dones't mean you should imbile unhealthy amounts of alcohol. It is not compulsary) - subjects from the Bible to "Bible Blastin'". All the while, Garbarsardar is flitting around like a man on speed, making trenchant comments all over the place.
The only sounds interrupting the musings of these great men are the tearful farewells of Kscott ("Just call me Buddha") Chormaqan and others as they bid the newly-renamed Dorian Grey, (he was imb39), one of our best-loved moderators, farewell. So moved is he by the love shown by the tough, masculine TWCers that he pledges to return soon, to once again take up the mantle of Modship. As I sneak into the adoring throng to get myself a cheeky goodbye hug, I wonder if he wil ever return... only time will tell.
* * *
As I walk out into the garden, where the wine and insults flow a little more freely, I notice that Atheist Peace has donned his oppression-figthing garb and appears to be challenging Tom Cruise over his moderation policies. I shrug at the strange sight and move on to the never-ceasing brawls that are the Popular Debate Threads.
I see the Grim Squeakus Maximus running from the philosophers' comfortable hideaway to the popular debates and back so fast that he becomes nearly a blur. Bemused, I go to stop him, but before I can a fearsome-looking Pirate strides up to me.
"Do there be servig wenches here lad? With luscious bosoms? Arrrrr?" he demands.
"There are - I mean be - but few." I reply, "If it be ladies ye're after then perhaps real life be kinder than TWC."
"'Tis true." remarks the pirate, "This be a right german sausage festival. A fleetin' visit this must be, then!"
With that, he strides off.
* * *
I shake my head and decide to follow the sound of applause.
I re-enter the elegant classical building by another door, to see a huge crowd seated in a circle, admiring the Titans in the centre, showing off ther modding skills.
As Razor attemps to catch the attention of the fickle community, Zhuge_Liang unveils hot skin after hot skin.
Suddenly, the two are disrupted as he door is thrown open with a great crash, and the prodigal returns! All eyes are turned to Atilla Reloaded as he shows off his latest two-finger salute to CA's latest RTW expansion.
In the corner of the theatre I notice a small altar to "Caius, god of skinning. Check out the Crusades". A peculiar advertisement. The smell of Caius' sacrificial bull being roasted makes me hungry, so I adjourn to the kitchen.
* * *
In the kitchen I notice Spiff and guilt hits me like a freight train full of guilt.
"Oh no, Spiff, I'm so sorry!"
"What is it, Menander?" he asks, puzzled.
"That brilliant Curial article you wrote... I haven't published it yet! It's all old news now..." I sob into the punch bowl. "I'm a terrible journalist. I'm not worthy of Grim's journalist-type-chap award."
"Don't say that, Men." Spiff says, "There's no harm done. You can still put it into this issue."
"But how!?" I howl, "How on earth can I work it into this outlandish scenario I've got going here?"
"It's easy," says Spiff, "Just put in one of those spiffy dividers I made and slap in the article!"
"See? It's easy!"
"Thanks Spiff. It means a lot to me."
- THE CVRIA -
* * *
This has been a somewhat troubled time for the poor old Curia, in the past few weeks a lot has happened - some good, some worth debating, and fortunetly, some delicious. Unusually, all of the events directly affect everyone on the forum, not just the Civitates.
* * *
First of all the pretty good news is this - a new institution has been set up within the Curia of our fine site. The Consilium de Civitate, as proposed by Wild Bill Kelso, will be tasked with relieving the staff of the time consuming duty of determining who can and cannot become a Civitate of the forum. Following a large majority of support at 75%, at the time of writing it's been up and running for a single day, and has so far voted on just one candidate... which way did they vote? the suspense!
Anyway the following members of the forum have been chosen to participate by the most senior staff within theTriumvirate:
Senatorii
Siblesz
Fabolous
TBN
Seleukos
Patricians
Kagemusha
Grim Squeaker
Spiff
El Guapo
Moderators
Justinian (Curator)
Mimirswell (Pro Curator)
Asterix (Master of Ceremonies)
What does this mean for the forum? Essentially, for the first time admission to the rank of Civitate is to be determined by the Civitates themselves - senior staff participation does however remain optional.
* * *
The second piece of news concerns our precious precious Syntagma. This document, which determines how the site is effectively run and organised, has been re-written after a lot of discussion between moderators and administrators. When it comes into force, the most noticeable change, in the words of Consul Justinian, will be this:
Originally Posted by
Justinian
The Staff names have been moved to new Byzantine ones (this does not effect how the Curia or the site goes):
* Imperator -> Basileus
* Consul -> Exarch
* Praetor -> Strategos
* Quaestor -> Tribounos
* Urbanis Legio -> This rank has been merged into the new Tribounos (ex-UL's will face a ratification vote before they join the Tribounos rank)
That's a right Mario, TWC appears to be going for the Byzantine theme in light of the Total War series shifting to the Medieval period once again with Medieval Total War 2. Since Byzantium is viewed by many as the medieval version of Rome, perhaps it's the most obvious choice? Names have yet to be finalised, and it's still to be revealed whether the appearence of the forums will also change, though the people who are generous enough to host this forum had some things to say on the matter..
Network Administrator Besim had this to say regarding a possible forum skin change:
Originally Posted by
Besim
All I can say is that in the end I will pick a design which looks good and would go with the game theme. Mithras almost has no say in the design process, so please take it easy on him.
Anyways...why are you guys worried about change? Change is good...we got to brighten things up in here a bit...perhaps even darken if it comes to it.
...once again, please try to understand that posts like this will not make things better. As I have mentioned before...I will choose a design which seems fit for the site and game.
While Mithras had this to say:
Originally Posted by
Mithras
WE DO NOT KNOW WHAT THEME WE ARE GOING WITH. WE NEVER SAID IT WAS GOING TO BE MEDIEVAL, WE NEVER SAID BYZANTINE
Indeed.
* * *
Also worth noting is that an open vote was held in January - though it had no binding force, the results were interesting; apparently Medieval England is the peoples choice.
Opinion Poll: TWC Make-over
* * *
Finally, in light of the fact that a new Syntagma is going to be implemented relatively soon, the majority of discussion relating to new bills and such has been pretty much suspended for the time being. That being said though, a number of proposals and votes are on-going.
* * *
Firstly, the front line moderators known as the Urbanis Legio have been removed from service and merged with the existing higher rank of Quaestor. The Civitates are currently voting for which of the current ULs will join the existing number of Quaestors - any UL who fails to achieve a 51% vote will be demoted.. a bit harsh perhaps, but then again its nice to see the Curia consulted on such matters.
Continuing discussions include:
The Patricians Act - Proposed by Sinuhet
Proposing that the higher Civitate rank of Patrician not be awarded automaticaly after three months activity, but instead be decided by the newly created
Consilium de Civitate. The downside being that all existing Patricians would lose their rank pending approval by the
CdeC
The Councils Proposal - Proposed by Asterix
Proposes the creation of councils consisting of Civitates which take on an advisory role to the staff who could benefit from a fresh perspective from time to time. Also has the potential to allow the Senatorii to become more active again. Argued by some however to simply add more bureaucracy to the system.
New Greek Names - Proposed by Simetrical
In response to the new Syntagmas proposed Byzantium theme, we would require similarly themed names for the rest of our ranks at the same time - such as the rank of
Civitate becoming the rank of
Polites
* * *
And thats all for this week, be sure to read future issues for the continuing drama.
-Spiff
Well, that went pretty well. I'll leave you with my quote for the day:
"No mention shall be made of coral, or of pearls: for the price of wisdom is above rubies." - Job 28:18
Menander