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Thread: RESTITUTOR BRITTANIAE- An IB2 AAR. Updated 5/5/12

  1. #21

    Default Re: RESTITUTOR BRITTANAE- An IB2 AAR. Updated 5/4/12

    The Bodyguard


    Julian felt as if a man had driven a spear through his body. He writhed in pain upin the floor as The Doctor pulled the arrow out of his shoulder.
    Julian gritted his teeth as the doctor struggled with putting the ointment on. The battle had been long, Julian recalled, and the looting afterwards had not been kind to the populace. hundreds of bastard children were fathered this day, but just as many children are now dead in the dust. Forgotten. Just as the Saxons would be. Julian hardened his heart when he saw that woman looking at him pleadingly as one of his comrades beat her after she satisfied his lust. Julian could have killed that man, but he didn't.
    The soldiers had made for the town square, where the chieftain of the village had surrendered. If it wasn't for Julian, the general wouldn't have survived, as one of the saxons had taken position on the rooftops with a bow. He tried to kill Julius, but found his mark in Julian's shoulder instead. The saxon had escaped before they could catch him. But they took revenge for the soldiers killed and the assassination attempt, by flaying the chieftain then crucifying him. Th rotting corpses stood in the centre of the city to mark their victory, and now the commander had taken up his quaters in the chieftains longhall.

    "Sir, the General wants to see you"
    Severus said as he limped into the tent, he had taken a spear wound in the leg.
    Julian barely noticed his presence, his vision sluggish due to the effects of the medicine.
    "tell the Dominus hes welcome to come in"
    Julian waved his hand in a sluggish gesture, Severus saluted and Julius walked inside with his bodyguards.
    "I have come to thank you for saving my life, soldier. you have done what my bodyguards are paid to do for free"
    Julius smiled
    Julian returned with a weak smile, his lips felt dry and his head groggy.
    "Thank you, Dominus. I was only doing my duty."
    Julius smirked
    "yes, but you did it better than most. thats why i'm extending an offer to you. I want you to become part of my personal bodyguard."
    Julian was shocked. he did not expect this to happen. He could ride well, he knew, it would suit him better than command.
    "of course, Dominus."
    Julius nodded
    "Good. Come to my quaters to collect your pay and your armour. you wear a soldiers garb. The armour that my bodyguards wear is meant for the best. You are one of the best."

    Julius left the tent in a hurry, and Julian watched him go. the soldiers stared at him in shock, and he recalled that he was about to say something, but he drifted off into sleep before he could open his mouth to speak.
    ***********************
    Julian walked slowly towrds the commanders quaters, clutching his shoulder. he cursed silently in pain as he approached the entry. The huge Frankish bodyuard of the general stood agisnt the doorway with a huge two-handed battleaxe. He let him pass into the longhall. Obviously his presnce was known. A tight knot formed in his stomach as he approached the Quatermaster. The huge bear of a man looked at him contently. "Ah, the new recruit. Lets get you the armour that the general wanted to give you so much."
    His tone was not unkind, and he led Julian to the armoury, a small dingy hut which was know the home of the blacksmith, and it contained all the armour that the army had.
    The quatermaster told Julian to wait outside as he entered the Smoking building, coming out with a suit of fine mail armour and a polished iron helmet. he clutched a cavlry spear and a sword in his other hand. He passed the weight onto Julian.
    "Custom made, should fit you. Your new quaters await."
    Julian thanked the man as he led him to a large room, which was now the quaters of the Candidati. The quatermaster pushed Julian's pay into his hands and left him in peace.
    The room was filled with bedrolls and bunks to sleep on, and Julian picked out the one that was his and colllapsed onto it, getting some sleep before he took up his new duties.

    Last edited by Gandalfus; May 05, 2012 at 02:33 AM.

  2. #22

    Default Re: RESTITUTOR BRITTANAE- An IB2 AAR. Updated 5/5/12

    Continue this AAR ! Put more screenshot and continue to write the way you are doing it ! This is a good AAR.

    Envers et contre tous...et c'est tant mieux ainsi ! Ze political profile



  3. #23

    Default Re: RESTITUTOR BRITTANAE- An IB2 AAR. Updated 5/5/12

    It's still breathing. Just got my exams up and coming. After this fortnight or so the next chapter will be up. And with screenshots.

  4. #24

    Default Re: RESTITUTOR BRITTANAE- An IB2 AAR. Updated 5/5/12

    I like the story, concentrating on Britain is very interesting and adds a focus to the AAR! Also, your writing style is good but I don't like the new font, too big and italic-y

    Also, there are small errors (bolded) which a spell-check could sort and your dialogue can be confusing, maybe it would read better more like below, with each character getting one line? That is just a suggestion though and the story is great as it is, have +rep and I hope your exams go well!


    The rotting corpses stood in the centre of the city to mark their victory and now the commander had taken up his quarters in the chieftain's longhall.

    "Sir, the General wants to see you" Severus said as he limped into the tent, he had taken a spear wound in the leg.

    Julian barely noticed his presence, his vision sluggish due to the effects of the medicine. "Tell the Dominus hes welcome to come in" Julian waved his hand in a sluggish gesture, Severus saluted and Julius walked inside with his bodyguards.

    "I have come to thank you for saving my life, soldier. you have done what my bodyguards are paid to do for free"

    ~

    RESTORING ROME - CHAPTER II: TRAGEDY OF THE KOMNENOI
    bitte sehr
    SCHRÖDINGER'S CAT - A VERY SPECIAL FELINE


  5. #25

    Default Re: RESTITUTOR BRITTANAE- An IB2 AAR. Updated 5/5/12

    Thanks. they've gone great so far

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