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Thread: Tale of Rome - Book Two - Chapter 1 (Updated)

  1. #201
    Tigellinus's Avatar Citizen
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    Default Re: Tale of Rome-updated 06/11

    Quote Originally Posted by ybbon66 View Post
    Finished.
    Explanation?




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  2. #202
    Rex Anglorvm's Avatar Wrinkly Wordsmith
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    Default Re: Tale of Rome-updated 06/11

    Quote Originally Posted by ybbon66 View Post
    Finished.
    Well done mighty Buffalo! Hope it wasn't too painful for you

  3. #203
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    Default Re: Tale of Rome-updated 06/11



    I was going for the epitome of minimalist critique - see what reaction it would garner. A most epic tale, as all good pulp-fiction reviewers would say, a real page-turner, I like the style and substance.

    I thought at first that the Senator would prove to be a thorn throughout but he died off, then Manaugas (?), but he got killed, but seems his "father" is a real piece of work. It's one of the things I liked about Game of Thrones initially (before he got a bit Twin Peaks on it all) that those who seemed destined to be major characters are suddenly and unceremoniously bumped off. I'm wondering when Andronicus gets it next!

    Now to keep up to date with the updates.
    Last edited by Ybbon; November 08, 2012 at 03:04 AM.

  4. #204
    Rex Anglorvm's Avatar Wrinkly Wordsmith
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    Default Re: Tale of Rome-updated 06/11

    Quote Originally Posted by ybbon66 View Post


    I was going for the epitome of minimalist critique - see what reaction it would garner. A most epic tale, as all good pulp-fiction reviewers would say, a real page-turner, I like the style and substance.

    I thought at first that the Senator would prove to be a thorn throughout but he died off, then Manaugas (?), but he got killed, but seems his "father" is a real piece of work. It's one of the things I liked about Game of Thrones initially (before he got a bit Twin Peaks on it all) that those who seemed destined to be major characters are suddenly and unceremoniously bumped off. I'm wondering when Andronicus gets it next!

    Now to keep up to date with the updates.
    I'm very glad that you enjoyed it mate; I would think it took quite a bit of your time to get through it all!

    Regarding the ending of characters, its something that I have never been afraid to do. After all 'expiry' is part of the every day world, so why should it not exist in a fictional world too?

    Now you just have to read A Whale Rider's Journey and you will be up to speed

  5. #205
    Rex Anglorvm's Avatar Wrinkly Wordsmith
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    Default Re: Tale of Rome-updated 06/11

    Chapter Thirty Eight - A brother’s lament

    Numerius Farm, Near Capua – December 218BC

    As Aulus approached on horseback with the rest of his mounted men, he could see flames in the distance coming from the direction of Numerius’s Farm. He dug his heels in viciously into the flanks of his expensive stallion causing the animal to whinny and snort and then redouble its efforts.

    Aulus had ridden non-stop to get here, belying his size he was a naturally gifted horseman and athlete, though he normally pandered to the belief of his enemies that he was a typical fat merchant, that preferred carousing and overeating rather than any form of exercise. In truth he did not like the gymnasium, preferring not to break out in an unseemly and un-gentlemanly sweat; but he did like hunting and riding, the pursuits of a real Roman after all. He had given orders to Marcus to bring up the rest of his men on foot as soon as possible as he did not wish to be slowed down, instead had taken just over twenty riders with him as a flying column to intercept the Carthaginians.

    Now however it seemed he was too late.

    As Aulus drew near he broke out in a nervous sweat; he felt a knot of anxiety sitting uncomfortably at the bottom of his stomach, the spy master was both nervous and fearful; not for his own skin but that he would have lost his beloved brother. His anguish only increased tenfold as Aulus and his men neared the main farmhouse and its outbuildings; they could see very clearly where the Carthaginians had already laid waste to the Farm.
    Not a brick or tile remained unbroken or un-burnt; every single animal had been cruelly slain, cereal crops had been burnt to a cinder, the orchards had been burned and their fruit yields had been pulped by both man and beast.

    Worst of all not a soul remained standing on their feet. Aulus took in the horrifying sight that greeted him, men, women and children all butchered, and by the looks of some of them they had not died quickly or easily. Although a hard man and not at all squeamish, he preferred to fight only those who were capable of offering resistance, which palpably these people had not been. Aulus drew the reins back on his horse and took a deep breath to steady his taunt nerves; the smell of blood, smoke, urine and faeces assailed him; it smelt worse than the Tiber in high summer.

    Of the Punics he could see no sign, but nor could he see Numerius.

    Aulus issued his orders, ‘Split into two groups, the first ten to scour the farm for signs of life; as for the rest I want you to see if you can pick up a trail of where these swine have gone, do not engage them! If you pick up their trail, double back here and leave a couple of men on them. When the rest of the lads get here we shall be pushing on to deal with them.’ Aulus swung his right leg over the horse and dismounted; he stretched his back after the long ride and then patted the neck of his beast, he felt the heat and the lather radiate from skin of the horse; he had pushed him hard but it had been necessary.

    He knew he was stalling, all this nonsense with the horse, he knew he would have to look for his brother’s body; he closed his eyes and very slowly composed himself he then re-opened his eyes, he breathed out slowly and steadily, and then scanned the area in front of the farmhouse; by the look of it the area of the fiercest fighting. His legs felt wooden, his mind jaded, he walked as if in a fog; his men around him seemed to blend into the night; he may as well have been alone because at the moment that was exactly how he felt. He stumbled on to a clump of bodies, slaves, freedman and their attackers all jumbled into an unseemly tangle of limbs. Aulus slowly passed over each face, his eyes locking onto the features of each face, but recognition did not come.

    As he finished looking at the face of the last corpse, an African and a pirate by the look of him, who had taken a nasty looking fatal wound through the armpit, his peripheral vision caught on a body laying face up and alone. It lay slightly further into the corn field that abutted the farmhouse than the others. Aulus gulped down a feeling of rapidly approaching apprehension, he walked over towards the body; his legs felt as if they were treading water, feeling wobbly and uncertain he looked at the face of the man and instant recognition hit upon him.

    Numerius! My brother what have they done?!’ Aulus could feel wet hot tears running down his cheeks; their saltiness running into his mouth. He cared not who saw his pain. Aulus dropped to his knees and pressed his wet face against his brother’s chest, an aching groan came from his brother’s still form. Aulus lifted Numerius’s head his own eyes wide with amazement; he took Numerius into his arms and in a single glance noted his brother’s multiple wounds, he pleaded with Numerius, ‘You’re alive! By the Gods you’re alive! Numerius, dear brother! Can you hear me; please stay awake, you must stay awake! You have lost a lot of blood! I need you to stay with me brother; we must have revenge on these animals together!

    Numerius turned his head towards his brother and saw Aulus’ anguished expression with his one remaining good eye. Numerius gave a weak smile then spoke, ‘Aulus…it was Jason…Manugas’ father. He won’t stop till he has….’ Numerius shuddered in pain and then with a supreme effort got the rest of his words out, ‘..he has crippled then killed us all! You have to….stop him…he will go for Lucius next…he is a madman…but too good with a sword.’ Numerius gave a weak laugh and then passed out.

    Aulus watched his brother grow faint and shouted out angrily at the two men nearest to him, ‘Get me a doctor from Capua now! Find a cart and use our horses! Move unless you want to join the corpses!!’ The man scuttled off to do as he was bid, Aulus scowled at the man who had been standing next to his compatriot and who had turned to run after his comrade in the search for a cart, ‘Not you; you blithering idiot! You mount up and get after the patrol; tell them I am heading back to Capua and that when they return here Marcus is in charge until I get back. Nobody is to attack is that clear?!’

    The man responded without hesitation ‘Yes Master I will do exactly as you say!’

    Aulus waived him impatiently away and turned back to look at his unconscious brother. ‘I promise you this brother; Lucius will have word of this. Your boy can look after himself of that I am sure, but I will make sure he gets some added protection. As for ‘Jason’ he will not get away with this, I will chase that man back to Carthage or to the very ends of the earth if need be, no man will do this to you and live!’
    Last edited by Rex Anglorvm; December 19, 2012 at 08:38 AM. Reason: new format

  6. #206
    Ybbon's Avatar The Way of the Buffalo
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    Default Re: Tale of Rome-updated 08/11

    "Numerius issued his orders," - spotted your deliberate mistake!

    I hope Jason has a comeuppance that is both savage and final.
    Last edited by Ybbon; November 08, 2012 at 10:18 AM.

  7. #207
    Rex Anglorvm's Avatar Wrinkly Wordsmith
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    Default Re: Tale of Rome-updated 08/11

    Quote Originally Posted by ybbon66 View Post
    "Numerius issued his orders," - spotted your deliberate mistake!

    I hope Jason has a comeuppance that is both savage and final.
    Whoops, have fixed that

  8. #208
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    Default Re: Tale of Rome-updated 08/11

    As I suspected! Leading us along then wham! the man is still alive. Jason either has a life expectancy close to none now with Aulus after him or he will be unstoppable! Good job!
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  9. #209
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    Default Re: Tale of Rome-updated 08/11

    Quote Originally Posted by Scottish King View Post
    As I suspected! Leading us along then wham! the man is still alive. Jason either has a life expectancy close to none now with Aulus after him or he will be unstoppable! Good job!
    I'm still hoping to have a twist or two in the plot; I am trying not to make things too obvious

  10. #210
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    Default Re: Tale of Rome-updated 08/11

    Aulus didn't strike me as the squirmish type but I cannot wait to see his revenge, for it will be brutal.

    Although I still can't get over he is called Jason.
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  11. #211
    Rex Anglorvm's Avatar Wrinkly Wordsmith
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    Default Re: Tale of Rome-updated 08/11

    Quote Originally Posted by Shankbot de Bodemloze View Post
    Aulus didn't strike me as the squirmish type but I cannot wait to see his revenge, for it will be brutal.

    Although I still can't get over he is called Jason.
    No Aulus is not that squeamish, but he has a deep love for his family and does not like waging war on women and children, I guess you could call him an old fashioned gangster with principles (if ever such a thing existed).

    Ah yes, but that is just his 'artistic name'

  12. #212
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    Default Re: Tale of Rome-updated 08/11

    AULUS!!!!! This will be intrigueing to say the least, let alone exciting and vicious

    EDIT. sorry it's taken me a couple days to comment I have been distracted




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    Default Re: Tale of Rome-updated 08/11

    Quote Originally Posted by Tigellinus View Post
    AULUS!!!!! This will be intrigueing to say the least, let alone exciting and vicious

    EDIT. sorry it's taken me a couple days to comment I have been distracted
    Thanks Tig

  14. #214
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    Default Re: Tale of Rome-updated 08/11

    Quote Originally Posted by Rex Anglorvm View Post
    Thanks Tig
    Anytime




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    Default Re: Tale of Rome-updated 08/11

    Love the updates...keep em coming and you can be sure that i am hitting the little green button at the end of every one of them...What a cruel fate for a veteran!!! Rex have you no heart???

    BUT...

    You all know what happens when you mess with Aulus's family right? The guy who tried to harm his nephew was stripped and skewered (egyptian style)...now lets see the odds of survival for Jason shall we:
    1. He burned down Numerius's estate...
    2. ...Killed off his houshold workers...
    3. ...Cut off his sword hand...
    4. ...blinded him...
    5. ...cut of his Achilles tendons...

    ....yep! Jason is as good as dead alryt...
    Last edited by Ambiso; November 17, 2012 at 12:34 PM.

  16. #216
    Rex Anglorvm's Avatar Wrinkly Wordsmith
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    Default Re: Tale of Rome-updated 08/11

    Quote Originally Posted by Ambiso View Post
    Love the updates...keep em coming and you can be sure that i am hitting the little green button at the end of every one of them...What a cruel fate for a veteran!!! Rex have you no heart???

    BUT...

    You all know what happens when you mess with Aulus's family right? The guy who tried to harm his nephew was stripped and skewered (egyptian style)...now lets see the odds of survival for Jason shall we:
    1. He burned down Numerius's estate...
    2. ...Killed off his houshold workers...
    3. ...Cut off his sword hand...
    4. ...blinded him...
    5. ...cut of his Achilles tendons...

    ....yep! Jason is as good as dead alryt...
    Ambiso, good to have you drop by my friend

    I do have a heart, its just a little bit Muwahhhh....that's all

    As for revenge and who will triumph between Aulus and Jason.... well you will just have to wait and see.

  17. #217
    Rex Anglorvm's Avatar Wrinkly Wordsmith
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    Default Re: Tale of Rome-updated 08/11

    Chapter Thirty Nine - A moonlit surprise

    The coastal road leading from Numerius Farm, Near Capua – December 218BC

    Jason smiled to himself for a moment he was lost in the happy thoughts of the revenge that he had just carved into the hide of the veteran Roman First Spear. He had admired the Roman’s spirit, but not his rudimentary swordplay, which he had found sorely lacking after all.

    He hoped that the younger Verres man would provide more of an obstacle; it seemed from the intelligence reports that had been garnered that Lucius had a growing reputation as a warrior. There was after all only a little fun to be had in beating a man who held a blade like an eating implement. However it was the Thracian’s bitter and almost sole experience that most men were indeed inferior to him when it came to the use of steel, something that he had always excelled at. As for the night’s entertainment, the timing of the assault on the farm had been perfection; he had needed to hit Numerius lands just before the inevitable arrival of Aulus’s henchmen. Now Jason was sure that Aulus would come haring after him in the dark and walk straight into the trap he had laid carefully for him.

    Demetrious stalked towards Jason with a purposeful look on his face, although Jason still found his incessant bleating annoying, the man did have his uses, a sound leader of men and a first class sailor, Jason though still tempted to run him through, had felt that he should save his energies for the rotund merchant. The Greek captain inclined his head in a respectful gesture and spoke ‘My Lord the attack on the farm has cost us a few of the lesser men of the crew and a couple of our veterans, but we are in good shape for the next engagement, the rest of the men from the Moon Star have joined us as planned, and have taken up their positions. We should be able to deal with anything that the Verres men chuck at us.’

    Jason stroked his left cheek with his index finger and nodded. Good, things were still going to his schedule, he had crippled one brother, he would soon deal with the next, and then he would finish the son. Perhaps then his mind could rest from its thirst for revenge and he could concentrate on the business in hand, that of defeating Rome. ‘Excellent captain, please take the left flank and await my command.’ As Demetrious turned and left for his own position, once more the Thracian studied the lay of the land intently; he was sure that when Aulus came that he would have to come the same way through the ravine that Jason had now stationed his men in, he had deliberately ordered his men to create a trail that even the now one-eyed Numerius could follow.

    He was sure that in Aulus’s eagerness to close with his brother’s tormentor, that the merchant would forget his usual careful and well thought out approaches to a problem and gallop head long into the trap. Fingering the hilt of his blade, he titled his head as he thought he heard the tell-tale sounds of mounted men approaching in the darkness. It had been a perfect night so far, the ground was only illuminated by the pale gleam of the moon and a sea of stars, the sky above a clear but cold canopy, for a moment Jason found himself transported back down the years to when he was a small boy in the mountains of his native homeland.

    A faint smile crossed his features; he had been a happy boy, a simple boy from a shepherding family, then the smile vanished in an instant, as memories of his enslavement pushed the happy times from his mindset. Why think of such a time now? It had been years since he had pondered the events that had led to his slavery, his abuse and his shame. Why, when victory was so close at hand was his thinking along these disgusting lines?!
    The grip on his sword tightened, he could feel heat in his cheeks as his temperature rose, in times like these he wanted to wield his sword and destroy everything around him, the cool control that he maintained for the world outside he could feel slipping from his mental grasp, he needed action, and he wanted it now.

    His wish was soon to be granted.

    From the periphery of his vision, he saw Erhard watching him, the German’s face locked on Jason’s, a quizzical frown pressed into the brow of the big man, just as Jason was ready to snarl something nasty at the northern barbarian, the sounds of horses intensified, keeping at a pace that seemed to match that of a walking man. That meant one thing to the Thracian, Aulus had brought more than a few cavalrymen for a fight, Jason’s anger faded almost immediately to be replaced with a tenfold delight in its place.

    The time had come, more revenge would be wrought this night and then he would sail north for the boy, yes, cripple them all, and then kill them all. And then a final revenge on his most hated enemy… Rome.
    Last edited by Rex Anglorvm; December 19, 2012 at 08:45 AM.

  18. #218
    McScottish's Avatar The Scribbling Scotsman
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    Default Re: Tale of Rome-updated 10/12

    Love it! Especially that he seems to think Erhard is a 'northern barbarian'...oh, hypocrisy. In all seriousness though, I really do like it. Can't wait to see what's going to happen and am, oddly, supporting Jason in this. Well, +rep when I can! Keep going!

  19. #219
    Rex Anglorvm's Avatar Wrinkly Wordsmith
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    Default Re: Tale of Rome-updated 10/12

    Quote Originally Posted by McScottish View Post
    Love it! Especially that he seems to think Erhard is a 'northern barbarian'...oh, hypocrisy. In all seriousness though, I really do like it. Can't wait to see what's going to happen and am, oddly, supporting Jason in this. Well, +rep when I can! Keep going!
    Glad you are still following our Thracian friend, I am hoping to have another 'longer' update out for the end of the week...maybe

  20. #220
    Tigellinus's Avatar Citizen
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    Default Re: Tale of Rome-updated 10/12

    DAMN Aulus better be careful! A good chapter mate!




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