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Thread: [R:TW]The Last Assyrian

  1. #21
    ReD_OcToBeR's Avatar Kihei
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    Default Re: [R:TW]The Last Assyrian

    So far this is an interesting concept, and quite different. You mentioned you would some advice and well I have a few pointers that jump out at me as I look at this.

    First I would start editing your pictures a little to get rid of the "game" stuff in them. UI's and the interface take away from the immersion honestly. It may take you a little longer to do things but in the end it looks cleaner and more believable. If you take a picture of something make sure its not highlighted to get rid of the green landscape or the green arrows( push enter to clear what you've got highlighted). After awhile you'll get good at it.

    Second, I would not wrap every single picture in a spoiler, maybe only the battles. I feel it interrupts the reader which is why in my AARs i never do it. Plus its a formatting nightmare.

    Lastly, get rid of the "Turn XXX" thing. This is a story not "bulleted" list, and this leaves you very limited and with not much room to change things around or expand upon. Give each update a chapter title to reflect what happened etc. Just let the action flow along and not worry about stuffing every single thing in because there is a turn to account for. Sometimes in my AARS something that actually happened before an event, I'll change it around and pretend it happened after something else to make the story better. In fact my current AAR has many of these tweaks that the reader will never know, but just works. Much like film editing if I dare say that.

    I look forward to the next update.

    +rep

  2. #22
    Tiro
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    Default Re: [R:TW]The Last Assyrian

    Thanks for the advice! I've already uploaded pictures (just trying to delay posts so not to over run the topic with updates too quickly) but once I've exhausted the 10 turns or so I've written and uploaded pics of I will cut off the bottom of pictures.

  3. #23
    Tiro
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    Default Re: [R:TW]The Last Assyrian

    ((Let me know if this new format is better. And please post more comments, I like knowing people are reading And a little advice on the campaign is kinda useful))

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    Antiochus greeted him warmly. They had left a little chilled and the Assyrian was afraid that it was a hint of things to come. Instead, the Great King had thrown a large party with dancing girls and the like. It seemed since the death of his wife the old man had learned to live a little.


    “My scouts report that a Parthian spy hangs from the gate of Seleucia. No doubt much to the determent of Parthia's invasion force. My Grandson will make a fine King.”




    Nergal nodded. He looked at the lavish room over the horizon of his hands as he leaned against the table. Music playing, women giving themselves freely. Food fit for his forefathers was hurried along the governor’s palace.


    “Also, the barbarian races seem to be uniting against this nation called Rome. Speak whatever you will, Assyrian, but one day, many years from now I see them as a fire cry in the night. They don't just conquest for conquest's sake but they change. Look at us, we're Greeks but we remember Persia. They? They would wipe out everything in pursuit of their 'perfect' civilization. A damned twist of fate the barbarians did not sack Rome fully a hundred years ago.”




    “You did not bring me here to speak of Rome nor just to welcome me I suspect.”


    “Indeed I did not my boy.” The Great King patted the immortal's arm. “My spy reports that Jerusalem is weakly defended and ruled by some fool Pathetic-hop-top or some equally strange Egyptian name. Bring your friend Hermeias and come. Its been more than a few seasons since we last saw action.”




    Nergal nodded conceding the wisdom, “I look forward to it.”


    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    Ambush of Bagabuxsha





    A few short weeks of hurried planning and the Seleucid cololm left the protective walls of Sidon. Armed with drafted levies instead of the militia rabble of just a few years ago.



    On a mountain ledge over looking the road the army was looked upon with envious eyes. “Gold, silver, and a pet God.” Bagabuxsha scorned each word. “They dance in halls of guilded joy while we ruck out a living in this land. Being God's chosen people is difficult indeed.”


    Bagabuxsha sat on top of the hill with the general body guard unit. Behind him his chosen army awaited. Each man representing one day of the calender. Trained in the arts of ambush, war, and the holy works they were ready to behead the head from the serpent to the north.





    “Men, we ride into destiny. Yaweh has granted us a boon unlike any Egyptian we've struck before. The whores of Babylon knew one man as the Great Sinner and his son is upon us. Sharpen your swords, ready your spears my beloved for God has granted us a test. We shall avenge Babylon!”


    The army broke with the smaller of the two zealots coming from one side while the larger and cavalry came from the other upon the soldiers.








    Nergal was quick to react not even bothering to speak to Antiochus who was reading a copy of the Illiad he had brought along He ordered his skirmisher horse men to rain upon the smaller of the two groups.







    While his heavy horses and chariots raced to the other ground skirmishers rained upon the larger force inflicting terrible losses.









    One unit of peltasts did not listen to orders despite repeated calls they were swamped and took losses before they could withdraw.







    Bagabuxsha pulled his horses to a stand still. There the generals gave out orders ignoring the incoming charge of heavy horses and chariots. They braced themselves knowing in their hearts that God would keep them safe as the infantry that had attacked the peltasts moved to aid them.






    The results were devastating and Bagabuxsha had his horse cut out from under him and then trampled to death.















    Seeing their supposed messiah fall the weaken smaller force began the long retreat under the hail of deadly barbs.






    Nergal spurred his elder King and friend forward quickly catching up to the last group and routing them.





    The victory was near total, with only one of the former followers of Bagabuxha left to tell the tale and warn others from attempting the same.










    News of this spread and once again Egypt demanded they become a protectorate.






  4. #24
    Tiro
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    Default Re: [R:TW]The Last Assyrian

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    While on campaign another sickly grandson came of age.





    But at least the other quit his hooting.





    Without anything of note the armies of the Assyrian and Great King moved to a large hill to entice the enemy to attack on more favorable grounds. And attack they did.








    First Battle of the Jordan







    This army represented a change in trends away from the Nubian slaves with only the littlest of training with perhaps a peltasts unit or two into hundreds of Nile born men of Egypt. Also, there were over three hundred horses brought into this army. The enemy army was also led by Psmuthis, a decorated hero of several battles against the Nubians further south of Egypt. This showed that the Egyptians were preparing for a large offensive.







    Though slightly out numbered the better forces were still in that of the Greeks.





    “Array the phalanxes on the hill,” The Assyrian told his king, “We will punch through and attack them from behind as we have done before.” The infantry were placed on a peak while the skirmisher cavalry on the left flank and the companions and chariots on the right.







    As the Egyptian forces moved forward the heavy attack force slammed into them quickly dismantling one of their cavalry segments and their peasants.


















    The Egyptians turned their spear men to intercept but the faster horses and camels drove past them forcing Psmuthis to split his forces.






    During this split a unit of slingers was separated and annihilated by the companions.





    On the Egyptian right flank the skirmisher cavalry had less luck against the enemies cavalry and ground troops though they scored many hits they were eventually pushed away.









    Psmuthis seeing the Greek skirmisher cavalry pull back gave chase.






    The Egyptian general's charge came to an abrupt end when the dreaded chariots intercepted him. Between them and the skillful companions the Egyptian desert cavalry were butchered.











    The last remaining cavalry force, though weakened by the constant barrage of spears attempted to save their General but were driven off with little worry.






    Psmuthis was thrown as he attempted to retreat. Before his body struck the ground another scythe on a chariot cut along his back leaving his backside leaving him to bleed out like a pig. It was a scene that Nergal would recall later in many camp fire stories.






    Though weakened the Egyptians pressed on sending their bow men to strike at the cavalry. My lord knows what folly this would bring and the duty of correcting the Egyptians for this over sight fell to the Bedouin camel riders. Their mounted forces quickly overwhelmed the poor trained archers.





    The desert cavalry regrouped shortly afterward and just as quickly were wiped out by the chariots.








    Meanwhile the camels took out the last range unit, a unit of skirmishers which had attempted to pelt at the companions nearby.









    The phalanxes, without any other order continued to press forward towards the Greek lines as the Egyptians lost all mobility.







    Despite this two forces of Egyptians, Nile spear men and Nubians moved towards the horses. Knowing the fear the Egyptians have in them Nergal orders his chariots near the Nubians but not to engage. It's successful and soon all one hundred and sixty break without a fight. They are quickly ran down completely leaving only screaming bloody stumps.












    A smaller weaker force of Nubians change direction towards the horse men and they too are spooked into breaking and running and are quickly ran down by the companions.










    One more force of Nubians attempts to flank the hoplites but the levy troops quickly reorganize and a hail of peltasts force them to withdraw.









    At this point a general withdraw is called. Antiochus orders his men to a ridge to watch them leave. “Now is the time to strike,” The immortal told his King.


    “They've given us the field of battle. We shall allow them to pass peacefully.


    Nergal growled and charged forward signaling the chariots with him. Soon an entire regiment of Nubians break as the chariots draw close and are ran down.












    The Assyrian orders them on moving on a Nile regiment forcing them to break and mostly destroyed before they descend the steep hill that chariots could not follow.












    It's a clear victory one worthy of any hero.










  5. #25
    Tiro
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    Default Re: [R:TW]The Last Assyrian

    First Battle of Seleucia
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    As Nergal and Antiochus gathered around the camp site sharing stories a messenger arrived with word from Cleitos,





    “My lord, I am pleased to report that the men and horse of solid metal are no more dangerous than any other foe. I fought Achaemenes, a member of the royal house hold. Though our forces out numbered his, his men were of a stock much greater than those we faced on the road to Susa. It is suspected this was the main Parthia army, which is grand news to our cause. His army was made up of large amounts of Cataphracts, very expensive units to be sure and the upper echelon of his forces.”









    “Achaemenes himself is but a few months my elder and rumor has it he has doubtful loyalties. Perhaps if we had a diplomat bloodshed could have been avoided all together. However, I rather enjoyed how it ended.”





    “I arranged my forces in three groups. The first was the bulk of my forces, including the totality of my hoplites and peltasts. They formed up around the town square. Here there was no where to run so their moral would not be questioned and with nearly eighteen hundred spears aimed towards the narrow road it was the best location to make our stand.”






    “We stationed our skirmisher cavalry at the point of entrance to exhaust their weapons before grouping up with myself.”






    “I and one unit of mercenaries chosen for their delight in slaughter were positioned at one of the other exits to the city.”



    “It was a clear bright day as the pink and green of the enemy began to move forward.






    “The skirmishers began to open fire upon the most densely packed group of enemy ensuring as heavy casualties as possible.”






    “Once their ammunition had been used they pulled back as the walls came crumbling down Parthia charged.”









    “On Parthia's left flank one unit of eastern spear men ran directly into the mercenaries and myself.”






    “Meanwhile, inside a small group of slingers attempted to attack the skirmisher cavalry.”






    “In the main road our men were prepared to meet the foes.”






    “I am pleased to report the right flank had success allowing our cavalry to sweep around the enemy.”









    “Parthia scarcely noticed the minor defeat and continued to move in on our forces in the center, raining arrows upon our brave defenders.”






    “While under fire from arrows the poorly trained slaves of Parthia attacked and were easily driven back by our spear men.”











    “The new levy troops encouraged the milita to stand tall and Parthia was forced to bring in more horses.”






    “They too were defeated but created some gaps that the cataphrats could arrive. These powerful men killed many a son of Achilles and Hercules.”












    “I, while this was happening positioned my cavalry and mercenaries to block any fleeing soldiers with great effect.”






    “The enemy in desperation began to round the formation only to meet more spears.”






    “But still they pressed on and for a moment it looked like they might win over sheer number of men.”








    “Peltasts drove off the horse archers in the rear.”




    “And the main attack seemed to taper off then fail.”











    “Like an avalanche they came Grandfather but many had dropped their weapons and were running in pure terror and were struck down.”









    “Even the enemy general, his courage finally tested charged our rear flank.”












    “They gave an account for themselves before the few who remained ran, including the general himself.”







    “I on the other hand was busy cleaning up the last of the ground troops. A local artist painted this picture I am sending along.”






    “The enemy and his few survivors made for a breach in the wall only to have our forces ready for him.”





    “He, however broke free and made into the open plains but our fast horses were much faster catching up and slaying him.”









    “My lord and grandfather, this is a glorious, heroic victory and our eastern province is saved.”




















  6. #26
    Tiro
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    Default Re: [R:TW]The Last Assyrian

    First Battle of Hatra


    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    A few days passed and another messenger from the important city of Hatra arrived. There Captain Akylos detailed a very gruesome scene. He had used the Cleitos Square tactic but with much less success.






    There the local militia organized against a much better armed force with range units and over a year of starvation to ravage the Greek forces. However, Armenia had proven one thing already by the time they declared war, their complete incompetence. They were pushed back by rebels once, and then just barely beat them the second time.


    They were led by Captain Tigranes, a large land owner who was known for the vast herds of livestock he owned. How he had managed to lead such an impressive army was unknown.






    Hatra militia were formed up in a Cleitos Square while the weaker peasants attempted to move to perform the task of hunting down retreating men. Akylos should have never trusted the peasants, many of them had only signed up for a free knife.





    Captain Tigranes showed his incompetence again by coming in at an odd angle which exposed his men to the few archer towers. Their unshielded right sides were only saved by the weak status of a wall which limited the amount of arrow fire the Greeks could throw.









    Once through the hill people rushed forward.






    The peasants were sent against a small group of archers causing them to break away but not kill them all, which later would be regrettable.




    The main force charged forward, driven mad by lust for land and power.











    Another force of horse archers charged down the peasants who despite being horribly under manned gave a good account of themselves.












    At the main battle lines the charge of horse archers gave way to the hard press of unwashed barbarians who cut deeply into the back of the line behind the front line before they took turned to shift towards the barbarians.








    Peltasts of the enemy added their hate unmolested by the slow heavy hoplites already engaged in the mortal fight.






    The hope of the peasants vanished as they were easily routed by heavier forces.





    Still the Armenians pressed on from both sides of the battle lines. The Armenians were pushed back and again charged over five consecutive times again and again and again.

















    Finally the archers were the only ones who remained and the hoplites were force to sit there while being bombarded. The enemy's melee forces had all fled from the battle.





    As Nergal heard this story he cursed the local garrison commander for not taking the initiative at this point. He supposed the captain felt that the enemy would run out of arrows before long.






    Over a hundred lives were loss before the horses charged and were driven back doing so twice before withdrawing from battle.






    The captain finally charged with his remaining forces in a relatively disorganized mass finally forcing the enemy into a retreat.









    This was hailed as another heroic victory though with more dead than men to replace them the town's future was in question.














  7. #27
    Tiro
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    Default Re: [R:TW]The Last Assyrian

    Battle of the Lycian Rebels
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    And yet another scroll arrived this one from Alexander in the north. His plan to starve out the rebels succeeded. The enemy had no where to go and they knew it.








    Their army was still formidable with some of the best archers in the world and many slingers to assist their professional army. They were led by King Epicyades, the Lycian ruler who first declared that neither Persia nor Seleucid nor Sparta would ever rule his nation again.







    As the rebel nation came out of their gates Alexander pulled his men aside allowing his slingers and archers a clean field of view onto the densely packed, poorly situated men who rushed out like starving wolves.









    Alexander, ever eager to prove his name, charged the disorganized Cretan archers slaughtering many of them before forced to pull back by the arrival of the spear men.












    The enemy peltas were wiped out as they attempted the long trek to the friendly Cretan archers.








    And the enemy's archers were assailed by Greek arrows and stones while their own men blocked much of their return fire.









    It was then that the hoplites moved out under the heavy fire of slingers who ignored much of their armor.









    Seleucid militia hoplites moved to meet them, on their own they would not be strong enough to break the foe.








    However, a few volleys of archers to the rear and the arrival of mercenaries routed the enemy formation. They were wiped out to a man.












    The enemy regrouped with their slingers but were under the constant hail of Imperial arrows and stones.









    To make matters worse for the Lycians Alexander charged once more into their force scattering the slingers as the archers struck the backs of one hoplite formation and the slingers struck the backs of another.






    The King of the Lycians, Epicyades drove on his militia as arrows and rocks struck them in all manners that broke bone and tissue in horrific ways.








    Alexander continued to pursue the slingers until every one of them were wiped out.









    The two groups of enemy hoplites at that point broke, including their King running not for the main entrance but for one of the side ones. Alexander quickly caught up and the son of the Great King Antiochus himself removed Epicyades' head from his body.









    They then moved around and wiped out the other group of hoplites.






    One of the formations of slingers were brought in and finished off the few men who had made it back to the square.






    Injuries were relatively light and the city was in the hands of the Seleucid Empire.









    Alexander then did something that pleased his father and surprised everyone. Despite holding out for over a year the city was allowed to be spared and only the leadership changed hands.







    ((Almost done posting my back logs. I'll change to the suggested writing style of not putting Turn X at the start of each turn once I am through with what i've written (That way I don't have to go back and establish the setting. I think I also got a hang of managing the posts-it's a lot easier with just spoiler tags. So I will try again at large posts, assuming firefox continues to behave.))

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