Tern-aders!

[Ulf]

-Do you live in the great plains of the U.S.?
-Is your life boring?
-Would you like to take a wild ride soaring through the air with nothing to support you other than the atmosphere with a 50/50 chance of either landing softly enough to get just a bruise on your bum or land so hard that your heart flies from your chest (literally)?

If you answered yes to any of these, you need the new and improved Spring Tornado! With our product you'll cower in your cellar, you'll scream from fear, and you'll lose your house! GUARANTEED!
The only choice you must make is what version you want. choose from the humble F0 Tornado which is hardly exciting at all. The F1 will have you pondering what else is out there. The F2 is for you girly men who like excitement outside of your bedroom but are afraid of a real challenge. The F3 will blow your socks off then smack you in the face with them! The F4 is up your alley if you fear little and have an empty bladder.
But for you 1337 men with the testicular fortitude to take on anything, God will personally send you a magnifecent creation that eats even the earth... THE F5!!!! Nothing will stand in it's path, Nothing will stop it, It will destroy you!

Do you have unwanted annoying neighbors? Send them an F5 Tornado! They'll run to their mommies or your money back.

For only 14 easy payments of $99.99 all this could be yours! But WAIT! If you call within the next 22.5 minutes, we'll give you a free subscription to welfare. FREE! And we'll lower the number of payments to 13! This is quite the deal folks, I would never turn this down.

ACTUAL CONSUMER TRANSCRIPTS:

I love my F3. We take long walks in the park and we rip down trees for fun. nothing is better than my F3

This is WILD, I was out one day enjoying the nice relaxing sun, then my Spring Tornado came from the UPS guy and blew my house away. I love this thing!

This is the most consumer friendly product on the market. It is definetely worth waiting through summer, autumn, and winter for this baby

So call now! Just dial 1-800-TORNADOSROCK. That's 1-800-TORNADOSROCK! Call NOW!

From Heaven, The makers of Earthquakes and Hurricanes.

all telephone numbers are false and should never be used...ever.


serious note: I live in Indiana, I had a tornado pass about 2 miles from my house last Friday. On Sunday, I spent the whole night in my basement because of Tornado warnings. There are more warnings out for tonight. Isn't nature awesome http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tornado

[Avgvstvs Octavian]

-Yes
-No
-Yes

I have lived in the plains my entire life and never been anywhere close to a tornado.

[MaximiIian]

I was near a tornado when I had to go to the hospital when I was 18 months old. Urinary blockage and kidney infection. Nearly killed me, too. The infection, not the 'nado.
Floods are more of a danger than tornados around these parts (Louisville, KY).

[orange slice]

OK, was the first part really needed? I mean what the heck was that....

On to a serious note, we don't get many Tornados around here were i live. I love living on the west coast

[MaximiIian]

OK, was the first part really needed? I mean what the heck was that....

It was somewhat connected to a tornado...and I nearly died, I mean, that's...inter...esting....

On to a serious note, we don't get many Tornados around here were i live. I love living on the west coast

Eh, you west coast bastards...
East Si-eeede!
For seriously, though, lucky you. Tornados do craploads of damage all across the midwest.

[orange slice]

It was somewhat connected to a tornado...and I nearly died, I mean, that's...inter...esting....



Eh, you west coast bastards...
East Si-eeede!
For seriously, though, lucky you. Tornados do craploads of damage all across the midwest.

yeah, but you guys don't have to worry about earthquakes.

[Mímirswell]

This thread is slightly humorous but not really material for the Science Forum. If you want to remake this thread with a greater focus on the science and/or impact of Tornados - that would be great.