Part 1- Mandatory Exposition.
Whereupon I start establishing a narrative. Union rules. What can I say?
"Row row yer boat, gently down sea.
Merrily merrily merrily merrily
Life is like a dream"
Pirate First Mate- If yer dont mind me be a askin' captain, why you be so merrily a-singin' today.
Pirate Captain- 'Cause the tide has changed. Arr!
Pirate First Mate- Well considerin' that we're on a boat close to shore, if the tide be a-changin', we be a-screwed.
Pirate Captain- Arr! That was what you might be callin' a metaphor sonnie. What I be sayin' is that the wind has turn'd.
Pirate First Mate- Still screwed.
Pirate Captain- Yet another metaphor flies over yer head like the dishes yer wife throws when ye be a-comin' home late at night.
Pirate First Mate- Knowin' that I be a hard drinking man, 'tis possible that I may indeed have, in the midst of a rum-fueled drinkin' binge, tied yee olde knot wit' some bonny lass. But I do not be a recallin' no dish throwin' wife.
Pirate Captain- To use this a-refined language on yer wax-clogged ears is the very definin' o' futility. What I meant to be a sayin' is that our luck be a changing'
Pirate First Mate- How so captn'?
Pirate Captain- We are no longer a-relegated to the obscurity of side-charactership, the utilitarian exploitation of our colourful personalities for the sake of comic relief in measured installments to alleviate the tedium of plot. We my scallywagging friend are now protagonists.
Narrator- And indeed they were. The lovable (and dare I say, handsome) pirates, known for their crazed antics and futile publicity stunts, were moving up in the world-
Narrator 2- Indeed they were Narrator 1. No longer amusing bugs scampering atop the exquisite robe that is Broken Crescent, these pirates were now to be protagonists.
Narrator 1- Who are you and what the flying **** are you doing here?
Narrator 2- I, my confused friend am your co-narrator. We are the narratorial (not a word) equivalent of a slightly less homoerotic batmen and robin.
Narrator 1- This is ********.
Narrator 2- ******** it may be, but thats when you get when you let Vizier 2.0 write your contracts. And to be honest, considering his track record, you got off light.
Narrator 1- Point taken. So where were we?
Narrator 2- I believe we were to do that most pointless of AARs rituals, initial exposition.
Narrator 1- Where we expound upon the the starting situation of the faction boring our readers to death?
Narrator 2- Yep.
Narrator 1- Complete with pointless and poorly framed screenshots?
Narrator 2- Correcto-mundo.
Narrator 2- The kingdom of Oman, composed of a single fortress and not-a-****ing-thing-else. A place so isolated even they don't where they are.
Narrator 1- A kingdom which, for narrative reasons, was run by pirates.
Narrator 2- Even though in actuality it was a fundamentalist state.
Narrator 1- Which is like, totally not rock'n'roll.
Narrator 2- Unless you count jihadist death metal (author's note- yes it actually exists. Save yourself and do not look it up. I'm warning you)
Narrator 1- And that was the author interrupting my flow
Narrator 2- He does it from time to time.
Narrator 1- Inconsiderate prick.
Narrator 2- And here we have our ruler, Great Imam Mushed.
Narrator 1- Except we're ignoring the fact he's an Imam.
Narrator 2- And his traits.
Narrator 1- Aspiring Commander? Religiously Devout? Noble in Battle? This man is the anti-pirate.
Narrator 2- Actually its best we just make up an entirely new bio page for him.
Narrator 1- To the paint-mobile.
Narrator 2- You ain't batman and I certainty ain't no robin, kid.
Narrator 1- It was your metaphor.
Narrator 1- At least we kept the name
Narrator 2- Yeah I thought that was a nice touch.
Narrator 1- So... more exposition?
Narrator 2- Its an AAR, not insomnia medication.
Narrator 1- Guess the rest will have to wait.
Narrator 2- For what?
Narrator 1- Part 2, of course.