With the first "expansion" a couple of weeks away (assuming the DLC will be launched on Sept. 1st) last night I did some searching to see what I could find on the era. While shuffling through pages on Google I found a gem by the name of Saito Musashibo Benkei, and quite possibly the most bad ass last stand ever recorded in Human history.
To give you a quick overview I am going to quote Ben Thompson's article mostly because, while his depictions are obviously over-exaggerated and at times childish, they make me laugh and I feel that ironically it gives SMB the most justice. I would also like to tag a little "disclaimer" if you will. There isn't much recorded about Benkei's life and his famous last stand. It is safe to assume that his life and the events surrounding his death were exaggerated long before Ben Thompson was born. But from what I understand, exactly how he died is very true, and that is what makes me laugh the hardest.
Benkei was said to be a large and very ferocious looking man who had an attitude to match. To find his path in life, he joined a Buddhist monastery but either quit due to the life style, or was kicked out for his attitude. Either way, he left the monastery and went into some nearby woods where he constructed a one-man shrine to Buddha next to a bridge, and allowed no one to cross alive.
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
Benkei was a Buddhist priest, but he wasn't the sort of Buddhist priest that spends all day in their sanctuary praying, thinking about peace, and not going around smashing people in the groin with a bladed poleaxe until they cough up their prostate. He joined a monastery, but that was a little too tame for him, and he was eventually kicked out because of his recklessness and general balls-outitude. So, in true badass fashion, Benkei went out into the woods, built a one-man shrine to the Buddha next to a bridge over a quiet, peaceful stream, and dedicated his life to beating the holy living :wub::wub: out of any insolent jacknuts who tried to cross his bridge. During what must have been a rather successful and lengthy career as a moderately-holy highwayman, Benkei won 999 duels without suffering a single defeat
One day a man who went by the name of Minamoto no Yoshitsune came upon Benkei and his bridge. When Benkei would not let him pass the two duked it out, and to Benkei's suprise, he lost. After losing, Benkei swore his life to Yoshitsune sealing his fate.
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
The 1,000th man who attempted to cross the bridge was a samurai feudal lord named Minamoto no Yoshitsune. In an epic, Soul Calibur-esqe deathmatch between the two men, Yoshitsune somehow managed to emerge on top, disarming the hulking behemoth with some crazy Princess Bride :wub:. Benkei, totally in awe of the man who somehow just rocked his face in hand-to-hand combat, immediately swore a Wookie Life Debt to Yoshtisune. He followed his new lord through the entirety of a massive war that swept across Japan, kicking asses wherever he was able to find them, and helping the Minamoto Clan of neck-slashing samurai achieve victory over their hated rivals, the Taira Clan.
After the Minamoto Clan had beat the Taira clan in the war Yoshitsune, and by default Benkei, sided with Emperor Go-Shirakawa against his brother Yoritomo. (While I didn't find any evidence, I would say that these were the events leading up to Yoritomo establishing the first Shogunate, but I didn't really try. Don't Hate.) After suffering what would be his last defeat, Yoshitsune retreated to Fujiwara no Hidehira in Mutsu or Koromogawa no tate.(Not sure the difference, but wanted to note it anyways) to begin the process of seppuku. Realizing this was going to take some time, he ordered his last surviving retainer to hold off his brothers army while he completed the process, and Benkei happily agreed.
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
Benkei went out to the drawbridge leading towards the castle, clenched his naginata in his fists, and dared the army on the other side to :wub:ing :wub: with him. A couple punk-ass :wub: thought they wanted a piece of SMB, but Benkei slapped the fail out of them with the blunt end of his bladed axe, knocking their brains out and sending crumpled remains splashing into the moat. The enemy army stood across from him, trying to figure out how the balls they were going to get past him, and whenever some dumbshit managed to find the cojones required to step foot on the drawbridge Benkei made sure the last thing he saw was a foot-long hunk of razor sharp steel.
Now, here is where the story gets a little crazy. Frustrated by his Army's inability to dislodge one man in a close quarters situation, Yoritomo ordered the his archers to unleash volley after volley of arrows on to Benkei. Now it is noted that the arrows didn't seem to effect Benkei at all, not for quite some time. It is said he just stood there. Some people believe that the arrows in fact killed him, and with the amount of them sticking through him, they propped him up, and others believe that, as Ben Thompson so hilariously put it, "Was so defiant and pissed off that he died standing up". Either way, it is generally accepted that (and really this is the part that makes me weak in muh knees) for whatever reason, SMB did die standing up, and the opposing army was so sacred to approach him that they did not realize it for quite some time, giving Yoshitsune enough time to finish the ritual.
Spoiler Alert, click show to read:
Realizing that any attempts of fighting Benkei like a man was going to result in an eviscerated brain pan, the opposing army just decided to shoot a bunch of arrows at him instead. Amazingly, this didn't even seem to faze him all that much – he just stood there, weapon at the ready, his armor bristling with a couple dozen arrows. Legend has it that he was so defiant and pissed off that he actually died standing upright, and that the dumbass retards he was fighting didn't seem to pick up on it until he'd already been dead for some time. Whatever the case may be, Benkei was eventually killed by a gatling gun barrage of arrows, but by the time the rival hordes broke into the inner sanctum of Yoshitsune's castle it was too late – the proud warrior had already completed the ritual and died with all the honor due a samurai of his stature. So I guess that's worth something.
After reading Ben Thompson article, I thought I would come over here and share it with you all. Please, do not mistake me for someone who feels I know all on this subject. I did very little research and would welcome someone with more knowledge on the subject to correct any errors I have made. I would like to close by saying that Benkei is my favorite person from the Genpei era, and welcome any comments anyone has (barring negative trolls) and if anyone has a person of interest they would like to share then please do.
Enjoy
P.S. The Bad Ass of the Week article is worded for an adult audience. If any of that offends you I put a Wiki link up as well, you have been warned.
Well, the sad thing is pretty much everything about Benkei was created decades, or even centuries after his death. AFAIK there's not a single primary source that even proves he existed, and even in secondary sources he is only mentioned briefly in Azuma-kagami as being part of Yoshitsune's retinue.
Saito Musashibo Benkei
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