A Time Of Troubles - The 1861 IH

['Gunny]

The Prussians wait out the winter in Tahiti, and reinvade in the spring, surrounding the Russian Armies

[Dan the Man]

Impossible, your population is far smaller than mine. Russian troops gallantly push back the Germans (but it's not hard, since they'd have to be stretched in a straight line one man deep in order to completely surround the Russians).

[Jingo Eugene]

Austria takes over Antartica. Creates army of killer attack penguins with flamethrowers. Melts Russia. (y'know, cuz it's so cold. )

[Dan the Man]

The penguins, finding the frigid temperatures of the Russian taiga to be more than comfortable, choose to permanently settle in Siberia and defect to the Russian army.

['Gunny]

A Nuclear bomb is dropped on each Russian armies

[Dan the Man]

God spares the Orthodox.

[Jingo Eugene]

Dan does not tell God what to do. So he flicks him to Siberia, where he is attacked by Penguins.

[Dan the Man]

Penguins who are on my side?

['Gunny]

They left your side after the nukes heated russia up so much

[Jingo Eugene]

Penguins who are on my side?

God told them to attack you. Penguins are not about to disobey God.

They left your side after the nukes heated russia up so much

That too.

[Dan the Man]

And you can't tell God what to do. Therefore, by the Treaty of IH (which I am enacting now), the penguins and all other forces of nature are declared neutral.

['Gunny]

A Prussian assasin kills Tsar and Family

Meanwhile The Empire of Germany is announced, formed out of much of teh Western Hemisphere

[Dan the Man]

A horde of Russian peasants some seven million strong, whipped into a frenzy by this act of cowardice, arm up with whatever firearms they can get their hands on and charge into Germany, leaving miles and miles of scorched Earth behind them. They are also accompanied by the formal Russian army, something like 500,000 strong.
EDIT: Can we move this to the Bar? Also, I'm making a comic about it.

[Pericles of Athens]

The Turks drop more nukes on Russia

['Gunny]

The peasants of the Western hemispher mobilize as well, accompanied by nearly a million professional soldiers from every western country, save for Russia, as well as a large Polish freedom fighting contingent

[Dan the Man]

BAR!

[Dave Strider]

How about you all just shut up.

[Dan the Man]

Jeez Fred, lighten up. We moved it to the bar.

[Agamemnon]

I would rather play this than rb...

[Dave Strider]

You're the only one who seems to think so.