The Helios - Issue VI
A dusty ray of light filters through the grimy window of Menander's moodily-lit apartment as our hero angrily smokes a cigarette. He crumples up another page of sub-standard, angsty poetry and decides to write the next issue of the Helios instead. As he sits down at the antique typewriter, a bird coloured with all the flavours of the rainbow begins to tap at the window. Thinking it just another hunger-induced hallucination (his self-imposed 'spiritual fast' - in which he is allowed to eat seulement spirituellement - is approaching its third week) he curses colourfully and attempts to concentrate on his craft. When the bird refuses to leave, Menander moves warily to the window and lets the bird in and removes the message tied to its leg.
* * *
"My dear Menander," he reads, "I know that I have imposed many demands on you over the years, but I have one more favour to ask. As I approach the Uttermost East, it becomes increasingly clear that I will never be able to reach the Earthly Paradise unless the People of TWC respect their Signature Rules. These rules govern the allowable size of signature images and the number of lines of text allowed for different user groups. The rules affect the flow of the Telluric Currents - without which I will never be able to discover the Kingdom of Presbyter John. I must therefore ask you to bring these rules to the attention of the People of TWC. Thank you, dear friend, and goodbye.
* * *
As the bird becomes more and more tame, Menander breaks out of his introspective reverie more often, to teach it phrases like:
"In modding news, Archer has made a bit of a breakthrough in the WIP Blood Mod click here for details.
Chivalry TW has announced that they will probably be releasing a beta with a campaign in a few weeks' time.
There are a number of fixes and patches for any issues with the Rise of Persia beta. You can get them in this thread.
The Fourth Age's giant preview has finally made it to the front page! Scroll down..."
"In Total War news, the 3D Unit Profiles have been revived for Medieval II: Total War. This week's preview is a German Zweihander unit. A New MIITW Gallery has also been opened. Both these new features will be updated weekly."
"In other news, Lord Rahl has released some pre-made sigs. You can request the text of your choice be added to them.
Darth Wong is back and at his provacative best with the thread entitled "Why do Puritans hate sex toys?" and seems to be getting it all his own way...
In the Political Mudpit, a discussion of Colonialism is underway - keep it respectful, please!
On a lighter note, have a look at The Ultimate Showdown.
Polly want a cracker."
* * *
In an opium den in Shanghai, Giacomo waits.