Quinta Macedonica Legio - completed and retitled in honour.

[Knonfoda]

Or a clipeus with the flower on it, in a desert of red sand...perhaps. OR that ruined fort that's still there, can't remember off the top of my head.

Indeed, the acanthus clippeus at the front, perhaps half buried in the sand, with spatha and obsidian shards in the sands of the harra, endless dunes in the middle, and then right at the far back in the distance, either left, central or right, the fort/watchtower?

[SeniorBatavianHorse]

I think you are all correct about the cover design - I need to work on that some more.The signature image is a Renaissance artist's copy of one element from the Column or Arcadius (or Theodosius, I forget). It is an accurate representation of Late Roman soldiers as done by Roman sculptors at the time - re-drawn through Renaissance eyes. The desert/broken draco or shield is interesting but I am no artist alas.

But the title is bugging me. I like it. She doesn't. I need something neat and simple - not too long in order to catch the eye. 'The Lost Legion' is already done and obviously is similar and very successful. But do I like 'The Nowhere Legion' because I know what 'nowhere' means (it is crucial to the ending of the story) whereas in fact to someone browsing Amazon it will read as 'nothing'???

[Ybbon]

I'm no artist either, but one thing suddenly struck me which would be relatively simple, take the image you have and colour in parts of it, as if the paint has flaked off, so a bit of colour here and there. There are some talented artists here, I'm sure if you asked you could probably get someone to help?

I'll think on the title as well, you never know, inspiration could strike any time! Oh I downloaded that book by Peake last night - his scribe is called .... Diocle! He gets everywhere!

[SeniorBatavianHorse]

I know! Freaky isn't it!

[SeniorBatavianHorse]

To March And Sing No Song At All . . .

‘You cannot die by drowning from a serpent’s bite, Felix. It is nothing but a madman’s boast, I tell you.’

I shrugged. ‘The Saraceni think otherwise.’

We stood, Octavio and I, on a low rise of red as the Exercitus Euphratensis toiled slowly past into the haze of the south and the unknown Nefud. It was late afternoon on the day we marched away from the plain and the tiny billow of smoke that was the funeral pyre of Angelus. The Dux Ripae had ordered us to march through the day and put as much distance between us and that plain as we could. Before the other Saraceni columns could fall on us. Before they could unite and destroy us. We had suffered a night of battle and now, without respite, a day of marching in the full heat of the red sands. Below us, men and animals drifted past, listless, limping, supporting one another as best they could. Many had stripped off their armour and helmets to pile them on the century carts or on the back of mules - despite the orders and discipline drilled into them over many years. Water skins were being passed up and down that strung-out column and the men who grabbed them did so as if that water was the last they would ever drink. Those who had suffered grievous wounds and now allowed their shades to expire in that day-time march were unceremoniously dumped by the side for the rear-guard of a score of numeri to attend to. These dirty and ragged irregulars buried them without a backward glance, posting look-outs atop the slopes of the great scarlet dunes as they did so. Further away, along the rim of the distant dunes rode the Arab camel riders under Tusca, scanning far out to the shimmering horizons. To my tired eyes, they seemed like vagrants or scavengers waiting for us to lay down in death so that they could drift in and rob us all . . .

The little Umbrian swore under his breath by my side. ‘The Persians revel in magic and superstition, Felix. Their magi priests are as bad as these Christian ones under our own Augustus.’

I squinted hard up into the cobalt blue sky, shading my brow with one hand. ‘Are you saying then the gods do not favour their own?’

‘Not at all -'

‘Then what is so hard to believe? This Anusharwan is immortal, is he not? He can only die if a serpent bites him so that he drowns.’

‘Serpents can live in the rivers -'

I laughed at that. ‘This is a desert, Octavio! That greatest desert of them all! What river lies out here, eh?’

He swore again silently and turned away. He was angry at me but I knew it was not our talk about this Sassanid lord who ruled over the Saraceni here west of the Euphrates. It was something else which angered him and I wanted to find out what it was. A cry from below made me look away from him and I saw yet another body tumble into the dust. Two legionaries moved out from the files and picked it up to carry it a short distance. They tossed it onto a drift of sand and rejoined the column - one of them stripping a spatha and a crested helmet from the body.

I frowned at that dead man. ‘Marcus, Centenarius of the Fourth Maniple, I think . . .’

‘No, he died last night. Some Saraceni bastard ran him through with a lance.’

‘Octavio,’ I began suddenly ‘ - you will command the Second as well as anyone has.’

‘Of course, I will,’ he snapped back. He looked hard at me then, that Mithraic tattoo gathering its wings above his eyes protectively. ‘I have no doubt on that score.’

‘You think I am not fit to command the legion? Is that it?’

He opened his mouth to say something and then changed his mind. I reached out and touched his shoulder. ‘The gods curse you, Octavio, open the wound and bleed it out, will you?’

‘Ach, Felix, look at us will you? Look at this legion -or what is left of it. We march south now deeper into this Nefud led by a dead man sworn to the old gods. He is leading us into the black jaws of Hades, my friend, and we have all pledged to follow him. Honour drives us. Revenge lifts all our limbs and our hearts - but we will not emerge from this alive. We all know that.’

‘We swore an oath to Cassianus, did we not? On that campus, the spathas high in both hands, our battle ornaments tossed aside like trinkets, you alone mouthing the dark old Etruscan words sealing that sacred moment. Remember?’

He nodded, once. ‘What choice did we have? None.’

‘Then what is it?

He looked hard at me then and I could feel the muscles tensing under his armour. ‘Angelus was our Tribune. He was the legion. That dark Syrian heart knew how to wield us -'

‘Whereas I am too newly-minted for this?’ I finished for him.

‘You will be a fine commander. I have no doubt of that. I have seen you in action - but this, to lead a legion into death? Into its final doom? What training is there for that? This is not what you should have to do, I swear. Some other should have that burden -'

‘There is no other, Octavio.’

‘Aemilianus then -'

I laughed at that and pulled my hand away. ‘Oh, Octavio, if only you knew what madness you proposed!’

‘Why not?’ he carried on, stubbornly. ‘He has had command experience before and has seen death and doom fall upon him. Let him command the Quintani now. Stay in the Second and put away a cloak I fear will break you.’

I shook my head in reply. ‘No. That man has his own path to walk. Fear the shadow that man leaves and step not in it lest it curse you. Aemilianus hides not from something, Octavio, he hides to catch something - and trust me when I say you will not want to be there when that reckoning occurs.’

He spat into the dust at his feet. ‘You are talking in riddles worse than a Sibylline.’

‘Perhaps I am, perhaps I am.’

I looked at Octavio, a little unnerved to see him so protective. His walnut-brown face was darker now from the harsh sunlight so that the tattoo seemed to be fading into him. It gave him an unearthly look. We had known each other since I had been first promoted to Centenarius in the Second and Palladius had told me to look to him for instruction and advice. He had initially remained distant but my zeal and discipline soon won him over. I had always looked upon him as a rock to steady myself on. Now though he seemed hesitant and that unnerved me.

‘This is all moot, Octavio. Who else is there? I am the legion now that Angelus is dead and Sebastianus blind. It falls to me and you would have me abandon it?’

He relented then. ‘No . . . of course not. The gods give you what you desire but it is always a poisoned chalice, Felix. Remember that.’

He turned and walked away then, back into the column, that anonymous mass of fading men and animals, and I saw him merge into it until I lost sight of him. Dust drifted up in the wake of the march. Shadows seemed to march below me to the faint rhythm of old songs. I stood awhile and let those lost voices fall on me despite the unrelenting heat up there on that low dune. File after file of shadowed men passed me, the dust enveloping them, the tramp beating out a faint tattoo as if the ground itself supported them, and I allowed the voice of the column to fall on me:

There’s a murmur down the file
That Caesar bids us up our shields
To march once more the dim dark mile
Across the moors, the tracks, the fields
- We march away, lads, we march away!
- And miss the dawning of each new day!
- We march away-oh!

There’s a rumour in the low tents
As we unroll our cloaks, all torn
To march across that broken fence
Come the rising of each fresh dawn
- We march away, lads, we march away!
- And miss the dawning of each new day!
- We march away-oh!

There’s a gossip they call a fix
That the Gods brand upon each one
To march at last across the Styx
To fall in service when all’s done
- We march away, lads, we march away!
- And miss the dawning of each new day!
- We march away-oh!

The words fell over me as the men filed past below, covered in dust and wounds, and those words seemed somehow obscene, as if they were being whispered directly into my ear, that what I heard was not an old marching song, but something else, something for my ears alone. I watched these legionaries stumble one after the other, all faint and distant, and it was as if an invisible shade leant in and whispered those words. I saw the outline of the century flags and one by one the dragon maniple standards weave uncertainly in among those men and I wondered then as I stood there above them on that low dune that these were now my men, my legion, that I held in my hand their fate - and I remembered Angelus walking around the inner square of that agmen quadratum we had formed at the Seleucid Needle, seeing his cold eyes evaluating us all, that hard gaze falling on me if only for a moment, and seeing in me nothing but an opportunity to be used without a moment’s thought. Could I be that cruel, I wondered? Did I have the stomach for command in the way that Angelus had? Perhaps Octavio, who knew me better than most here in the legion, was right?

I needed that anchor above me to allow me to function. Alone now above the ranks and the file-closers and the century and maniple commanders, I had no one to look up to within the legion. I was the legion now. To write of it is one thing - but to dictate it is something else . . .

I looked back then into the west and that haze. I looked back on that endless red horizon beyond the rim of which lay the massing armies of these Saraceni, their Persian masters, and that enigmatic over-lord, he who was ‘of the immortal soul’, Anusharwan, that Sassanid noble born of the Hyrcanian shores, with his two Nubian slaves, those Ravens of Sepehr, bound to him by silver collars like faithful dogs - and I realised that far from only now dictating this legion that I had been doing so since the moment in that tent when I had brazenly shown the way east. The way to redeem ourselves and save the cities and peoples of Rome to the west.

I stood alone on that low dune and smiled for I knew then that Octavio was wrong. In some dark manner had I not been commanding the Fifth all along?

I stood and watched them all file past, that lonely song of march and death falling softly into my ear, and I knew no such song was being sung below. I knew that I alone heard it and it was for my heart and my head to hear. It was that last song every legionary must sing and it must be I who would order it . . .

I stood, Felix, acting-Tribune of the Quinta, while below men marched into dust and memory and fate as a listless god whispered to me the weight I now knew I carried. And I smiled, I smiled . . .

[Diocle]

I'm reading but let me say only this:

THE TITLE IS PERFECT!!!!

It is interesting, mysterious and evocative and intriguing! Plaease do not change it! It is more than a simple title, it is a story in itself! Do not change it! The titles about the Romans are all the same: The centurion, the eagles, the the honour...etc, Your title is different it is shaping all the flavour of a story that is more than the usual story of Romans and Barbarians! Please save the title, it is good!!!!


As I asid, I'm reading but what I read until now, is perfect!!! Great work Clarissimus as usual!

[McScottish]

I agree with Brother Diocle, and that update was simply superb. The writing, the dialogue, everything. I would rep you, but alas I cannot...yet. Good old Felix, now it is his time to shine, and to lead those men nowhere.

[Ybbon]

I can rep, and so of course, I have. Brilliant.

[totalwarguy]

Brilliant update SBH, as always.

As for the title, I think it will work well as long as the cover art compliments it.

I think perhaps a scene from the night battle in the Nefud might go wonderously with it. Perhaps have our boy Felix surrounded by a few bandaged and battered legionaries, facing outward to darkness, as if they are fighting not the Saraceni but the black of night itself as a harbinger of their impending doom?

Edit: Nevermind, I see the cover art has been chosen.

[Diocle]

his scribe is called .... Diocle! He gets everywhere!

I know! Freaky isn't it!

Few things:

• Diocles IMO is the name of the last true Imperator of Rome, before he became Augustus Caesar. It is the name of a man of humble origins, probably the son of a libertus of an important senator. So Diocletianus was named Diocles when he was a simple officer of the army, I think it was a common name in the Illyricum, in those days.
• IMO the strange thing here, is if the name is really Diocle and not Diocles!!!! Infact Diocle is the Italian for Diocles, like Augusto, like Tiberio, like Claudio, Adriano, Giuliano....I used the Italianized version of the name, because I prefer it to the Greek sound with the final 's', it is almost a personal 'political' choice, infact my heretical thought is that Rome is different from Byzantium, as Diocle is different from Diocles, it could seems a small difference but in reality it is greater than one may suspect at first.
• Ybbon66, I'm not everywhere, I'm here because I love the 'Nowhere legion' and I like its author;As I'm in the thread of the AARs of Knon and McScottish, because I like their stories! I'm in IBDF's Forums because I like the IBDF Mods; I'm sometime in RSII Forums to help you to keep fit your moderator qualities! ; I'm in WarHammer40.000 Forum because there, it is where my heart must be! I'm an old tabletop player, and my old 'Iron Hands' Space Marines Army (more than 20 years old now!) binds me forever to the 40k Universe!...I'm sometime (very seldom..) in MedII Forums for Call of WarHammer, The Last Kingdom, IBFD, FKoC, and TATW.

...Do you see Ybbon66? I'm only present in few Forums of TWC!...The problem is that we like the same AARs!....and/or, perhaps, the problem might be that I posted a little too much in these threads.


Returning to Felix: The moment arrived, now the hand that writes the story, the story itself and the Legio V Macedonica are the same thing......The events, the characters and the story are converging,...all is shaping the greatness of the future events!.......+rep o.c.!


PS.: About the Front Cover, I'm for a Corinthian capital in the sand....but: 1) It is not easy to find such an image. 2) I'm an architect so my tastes are not shareable by many people. 3) I'm binded to the Corinthian Capital by some personal reasons, too long to be explained.
So my suggestion is probably useless.....But I want to show here the Acanthus flower of the Corinthian capital in its classical (perfect!!!!!) interpretation, until they were able to represent the Acanthus flower in this way they remained GreekRoman, after, when their Corinthian capitals become Oriental lace, IMO Roma was no more.
IMHO the acanthus flower is the real protagonist, the centre and the basis of the story, the flower of Acanthus binds different men, times and even ages, the Acanthus is the V and is the story,...and I like to think it is the heart of our civilization even today....but I'm too Romantic now!

CORINTHIAN CAPITAL
(This exemple, is Roman, the sculpture of the leaves and details
in the Classical Greek Corinthian capitals are absolutely superior o.c.!!)

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

It is easy: Two rows of wonderful Acanthus leaves, on a truncated cone basis, the then two couples of volutes, in the top middle, where the two central volutes are touching one another, here we find the 'Cauliculus' (sorry but I do not know the english for it), the flower of Acanthus. It is elegant, simple and natural as the Hellenism itself....until it lasted.

[Knonfoda]

in response to chatting over a bottle of red wine...

why not organize a small get-together then?

I'd love to meet ye guys

I know, that sounds like a splendid idea. Did SBH mention London, in this or another thread, with JH or is that just me? The tagline could be "Bring a few bottles (of your preferred beverage) a few war stories and some good cheers! It would be wonderful!

Minor Hijack - Yes, I'm going to see Prometheus this Saturday at the Imax in Birmingham, all 71 feet of screen, got my seat booked, at the top, in the middle, to be all Californian about it, awesome!

Godamn it, you lucky sun! I have to wait till the 8th, the perks of not having a car sadly, and not being able to make the 9:30 - 00:00 matinees. My own fault, I'm insistent on Imax. I know Scott, and these films only come out once every 5-10 years. I shall quizz you on it later!

Oh I downloaded that book by Peake last night - his scribe is called .... Diocle! He gets everywhere!

I know! Freaky isn't it!

Like sand creeping up the exposed webbing of swimming shorts on the incautious tourist in a rough, Mediterranean wave, brother Diocle does indeed creep everywhere...

I'm reading but let me say only this:

THE TITLE IS PERFECT!!!!

It is interesting, mysterious and evocative and intriguing! Plaease do not change it! It is more than a simple title, it is a story in itself! Do not change it! The titles about the Romans are all the same: The centurion, the eagles, the the honour...etc, Your title is different it is shaping all the flavour of a story that is more than the usual story of Romans and Barbarians! Please save the title, it is good!!!!


As I asid, I'm reading but what I read until now, is perfect!!! Great work Clarissimus as usual!

I agree with my Italian friend here. I think the title says everything about the novel, it is up to the reader to find out more about it. Its simple, and to the point.

I must apologise for my earlier post, I must come across as a buffoon, I understand now what you mean by "title" - as in, the actual title - its just recently I've been exposed to an editorial world, and when someone says title I don't think words or sentence, I think margins, font, size and positioning lol. So I do apologise!

Having said that, I love the font you've used in your signature, I think its perfect. And I hate to disagree with your partner, but I don't think The Nowhere Legion is wishy washy, not in any way. I do think though, trying to put myself into the mind of an uninitiated reader, that the cover is important, and that if I thought "The Nowhere Legion" sounds alright, the cover would probably seal the deal for me.

Readers literally only spare two seconds for a book when they are browsing, and for most it usually boils down to a memorable, different image, and a title that sticks. Sometimes less is more, adding something else to the title makes it less memorable, and again I stress, the cover is important - devote your energies (and funds!) to that.

I agree with Brother Diocle, and that update was simply superb. The writing, the dialogue, everything. I would rep you, but alas I cannot...yet. Good old Felix, now it is his time to shine, and to lead those men nowhere.

Yes, now for the updates themselves.

Honestly, I am awed. SBH, you simply do better and better every time. Your writing just flows, especially the dialogue, it is suitably epic and moving without being over the top, it is realistic and to the point, concise and beautiful, its almost a contradiction in terms. The way you present your material, it shouldn't be so down to earth and accurate, given the wide dramatic and poetic sweeps you take, and yet it is. Its just unreal.

Indeed, the comparison to a mountain is very apt, you climb one peak to discover another. I am very much looking forward to the 'Reckoning" you speak of, especially now that I know of Aemilianus' identity, and especially the role Felix will play in it, now that he is the 'acting-tribune'... decidedly amazing stuff my friend!

[SeniorBatavianHorse]

Brilliant update SBH, as always.

As for the title, I think it will work well as long as the cover art compliments it.

I think perhaps a scene from the night battle in the Nefud might go wonderously with it. Perhaps have our boy Felix surrounded by a few bandaged and battered legionaries, facing outward to darkness, as if they are fighting not the Saraceni but the black of night itself as a harbinger of their impending doom?

Edit: Nevermind, I see the cover art has been chosen.

Thanks for your imput there, totalwarguy! You are right about the cover art and the title. I think on balance the title will stay as it is central to the story despite how a 'new' reader may see it. The actual cover design I am still mulling over but everyone here is right in stating that it is best to stay away from the generic designs on show so far. I like your idea but am no artist alas!

I agree with Brother Diocle, and that update was simply superb. The writing, the dialogue, everything. I would rep you, but alas I cannot...yet. Good old Felix, now it is his time to shine, and to lead those men nowhere.

Exactly - but as always with my stories what you get is never quite what it appears to be . . .

I can rep, and so of course, I have. Brilliant.

Thanks! Appreciated, of course!

[SeniorBatavianHorse]

P.S. - just learned how to 'multi-quote'! Honestly, I am such a noob sometimes . . .

Diocle, Knonfoda, I haven't multi-quoted your responses due to length considerations.

Yes, the acanthus is crucial but I fear as a symbol on the outside cover it may not resonant enough except to a reader in the know. It is one of the symbols which grows in the AAR and which is not immediately established. I love the elegance of the acanthus flower on the capital you show. There is a simplicity which is quite beautiful. I think I will use something like that as part of the internal lay-out - perhaps chapter markers? What do you think?

Knonfoda, thanks again for your comments there! I have PM'd you in more detail.

I WILL keep the title intact. And thanks for everyone for all your imput again. It has helped me decide - and when I told my partner about it, she said 'I really must read it . . .'

Sheesh . . .

[chaplain118]

If the acanthus is the crucial symbol meant to be developed as the story progresses, surely it should be the cover of the LAST book, when the reader has trekked through the endless desert going nowhere.

Perhaps a broken helmet in the sand would make a more compelling first book cover? It does have everything all Roman books have

Amazing update as usual, and I've managed to learn something about great writing from this AAR that will come very handy when the time comes to editing my own works.

[Diocle]

Sorry Carissimus by I need to say something to Knon-bra!....

Like sand creeping up the exposed webbing of swimming shorts

..............Knon....dear friend, can I tell you that I do not like to be compared to the sand in the shorts?....I do not find appropriate to the image I have of myself, for many reasons, here only the most important:

1. The sand in the shorts is one of the most annoying thing in the life!!!! This is not questionable o.c.!!!
2. The image of the sand in the shorts is not adequate to my noble person and birth!!!
3. Why in the shorts? You could say: 'The sand in the shoes', or 'the sand in the sea bag', it would be more.....neutral, but the sand in the shorts!!! Com'on!!! Do you know where goes the sand when it enter in the shorts?........... No my dear!!!! it is not accettable, for me, being compared to such an horrible thing!!!
4. As I said, I'm not everywhere! In fact I follow only five or six Threads/Forums on TWC! My noble presence is rarely seen elsewhere!
5. I hate the beaches with sand, because I firmily hate the sand! In Liguria we have good solid roks! And I search only beaches with roks, because I hate the sand in the shorts!!!!

Dear Knon a currigendum would be highly appropriate, if not a nice duel using foil or sabre might solve our small issue!................(In the case, I would consider staying at the first blood, o.c.! )

[SeniorBatavianHorse]

If the acanthus is the crucial symbol meant to be developed as the story progresses, surely it should be the cover of the LAST book, when the reader has trekked through the endless desert going nowhere.

Perhaps a broken helmet in the sand would make a more compelling first book cover? It does have everything all Roman books have

Amazing update as usual, and I've managed to learn something about great writing from this AAR that will come very handy when the time comes to editing my own works.

Thanks, chaplain118.

As for the cover design, this is really for the launch in about a month on Amazon Kindle as single novel. I want to knit the novellas together into a stand alone novel and need a single cover design to reflect the story as a whole!

Sorry Carissimus by I need to say something to Knon-bra!....



..............Knon....dear friend, can I tell you that I do not like to be compared to the sand in the shorts?....I do not find appropriate to the image I have of myself, for many reasons, here only the most important:

1. The sand in the shorts is one of the most annoying thing in the life!!!! This is not questionable o.c.!!!
2. The image of the sand in the shorts is not adequate to my noble person and birth!!!
3. Why in the shorts? You could say: 'The sand in the shoes', or 'the sand in the sea bag', it would be more.....neutral, but the sand in the shorts!!! Com'on!!! Do you know where goes the sand when it enter in the shorts?........... No my dear!!!! it is not accettable, for me, being compared to such an horrible thing!!!
4. As I said, I'm not everywhere! In fact I follow only five or six Threads/Forums on TWC! My noble presence is rarely seen elsewhere!
5. I hate the beaches with sand, because I firmily hate the sand! In Liguria we have good solid roks! And I search only beaches with roks, because I hate the sand in the shorts!!!!

Dear Knon a currigendum would be highly appropriate, if not a nice duel using foil or sabre might solve our small issue!................(In the case, I would consider staying at the first blood, o.c.! )

I think he was just being mocking in a friendly way!

[chaplain118]

Thanks, chaplain118.

As for the cover design, this is really for the launch in about a month on Amazon Kindle as single novel. I want to knit the novellas together into a stand alone novel and need a single cover design to reflect the story as a whole!

Why not the picture you use in your sig?

[SeniorBatavianHorse]

You know, I have thought of that but the detail is too small for a full size cover. I am considering a split cover with the lower third being that strip with my name, the middle third the main image (desert ruins or some such) and the top third the title itself (using either Minion fonts or Trajan Pro fonts). There are some good online sites devoted to book designs for indie/epublishers which I am researching just now to get some ideas on layout.

[Diocle]

Yes, it is not easy find a good front cover.......the 90% of the history novels about Romans use, shields, Vexilla, Draco and a lot of...Roman Legionaries o.c., almost always not correct with the time described in the book!

I like the idea of splitting the cover in thirds, and I find very appropriate the ancient ruins or similar, the effect should be really good!!

I want you have the max success possible, your work is really good my dear SBH!!! People need good literature.

PS.: And the page of the Notitia with the shield of the V?....Copyright issues?....I mean the whole (or great part) page, not only the Macedonica's shield!..... But it might be too visually dispersive.....

[SeniorBatavianHorse]

Yes, I have used the ND's shield page design on the Smashwords versions. To be honest, they are not that striking nor good in quality. I am grappling with Adobe Illustrator to try and design a cover but may have exceeded my limitations, to be honest!

This site has some good ideas for fonts which I am playing around with - Trajan being a favourite right now!