Aye, lads, let me tell you about the measurements of the energy we call 'Manliness' in our beloved Empire to our great Emperor Karl Franz and grand Lord Sigmar. Listen close, for this will be important for your whole lives.

Alright, let me begin: First of, the first ones to achieve this might were the dwarves, forever marking 'Manliness' as their greatest feats, while the faggy elves called the manly dwarves in their ignorance 'barbaric', which didn't stop the dwarves from introducing the first measure on the scale of manliness: 'Dwarf'.

Understand it like this, lad: You see those poor bastards of our Empire, 'dose Swordsmen over there? Yeah, look at how they have a breastplate, a sword and a shield, maybe a helmet too, against giant axe-wielding psychopaths empowered by dark gods, greenskins who are made fer fightan' and winnin', the damn raised dead and their superhuman vampire lords, and, of course, the pointy-eared faggots, which exist in both black and white.

Yeah, those swordsmen are each measured in 3 quarters a Dwarf, making their 'Manliness' almost on par with that of those manly drunkards.
Our Emperor, the great Karl Franz, is himself measured by 2 whole Dwarves, making him capable of bro-fisting a dwarf.
Valten, the reeincarnation of our Lord Sigmar, was measured in 2 and a half Dwarves, rendering him capable of -slapping Archaon into submission with but his massive Balls of Steel.
And our Lord Sigmar? Why do you think the sigmarites lead the 'Hammer' as their icon? This hammer represents the tool by which Lord Sigmar's massive Balls of Steel were maintained, for even his 'Manliness' induced body could not hold the pure unfiltered Manliness, which was why he always had a searing-hot hammer with him: to repair his massive Balls of Steel. Our Lord Sigmar was measured in ten Dwarves.

Of course, with the time new measurements came into being, all originating from the dwarves. The elves, or at least the broad population, were measured in what the dwarves call 'Twilight Vampires', a Twilight Vampire is about 0,0000000000001 Dwarf. It is said that upon decreeing this, several dwarves laughed themselves to death, only to be revived by alcohol. This is also where the reason for the slow increase of population those elves have: Their women, upon seeing a dwarf or a human, subconsciousely realize that there was always something missing in their lives, namely Manliness, a Manliness that could never be achieved by a Twilight Vampire. Thus, many elven women will try to make up for the lack of Manliness in their cursed species, they will become outsiders, studying ways to become manlier.

Even in elves however, there exist individuals that are, even by elven standards, considered 'faggots', for which the dwarves, ever helpful, invented a new measure: 'Edward Cullen'. Being an Edward Cullen is considered a shame for the whole species, which is why Edard Cullens never survive the first five minutes of their lives. But woe the world should ever such an abomination reach adulthood.

Last but not least: The Orcs. Theirs is truly a strange race, for they cannot be measured by the standard scale of Manliness. Their species instead exists on the grounds of what they call 'Greenieness' and we call 'Awesomeness'.

Manliness is an old power that has granted those able to wield it the might of pure Manliness. Those individuals are known to dual-wield chainsaw-lightsabers, air-guitaring on flying meteorites, choking greater daemons to death on their own dicks, riding castles as they are being shot at greater daemons, as well as many other miracles.

Ah yes, that should be it for today, lads and- what? I am done, my boy, I am. What? But, it's just a legend!... alright alright.

There is a prophecy, another step on the scale of Manliness, higher even than the measurement of 'Dwarf'.

A being will come to life in many thousands of years, it will seem like any other of its kin, but it will bear this pure Manliness with it, for only faggots shout out their powers. This being, this measurement, shall be called 'Ollanius Pius'. This 'Ollanius Pius' will wear an armour that equals paper, will wield a weapon equaling a thrown stone.
This Ollanius Pius will fight in a great battle as one of countless, then it will accidentally be taken to an even greater battle in hell itself. There, it will see a man named 'Horus' fighting a future Emperor, only this Emperor having ascended to godhood, probably Sigmar returned, the 'Horus', being the host of all four Chaos Gods, striking the Emperor down, standing above the broken form of the Emperor in triumph.

Ollanius Pius will weep manly tears, for what could he do, he who was but a simple mortal? However, that is when his utterly manly heritage will show: Pure Manliness allowing the human, his weapon blazing, to charge at the 'Horus', even knowing that he cannot achieve anything, that his sacrifice will not make a difference, yet refusing to leave the Emperor to die, charging at this pure darkness.
Ollanius Pius will make the greatest miracle of Manliness yet: An Ollanius Punch, an attack in which will lay pure Manliness in unfathomable amounts, literally punching the whole universe to a realm of Manliness.