The Critic's Quill: Issue 24

**Juvenal** · February 04, 2011, 03:14 PM

Issue 24 - Part 1
Hello and welcome to Issue 24 of the Quill!

This publication exists to support creative writing at TWC. Most users of this site will have come here for information about the games, and for mods. Well let me tell you, TWC is much more than that! There is a large and thriving creative writing community here. Many stories are about, or inspired by, playing the games. We call these AARs (After Action Reports), but there is also plenty of historical fiction and other work of all kinds.

At the Critic's Quill we give you news about writing competitions and the community in general, we review stories, we interview writers, and we even write learn-ed(ish) articles about creative writing!

I am immensely proud of my writing team, many of whom are already established writers here at TWC. This month, let me welcome new contributors Beer Money, Thokran and dezikeizer. We also a Scriptorium special from Major Darling which promises to become a regular feature.

To find what you want in the issue please follow the links set out below. I have had to split the Quill over two posts this month as we have broken the vBulletin character limit. So you can be assured that there is plenty to read!

Juvenal (Editor)

Table of Contents

Interview Section

An Interview with Thokran

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

Beer Money here everyone. As a new contributor to the CQ, one of the best sections I have seen in the past is writers who are interviewed. Not only does it give readers a chance to see how the AARtist operates but also gives insights to new members and others writers on unique views they may wish to consider for their own writing. Hopefully you will find reading about your fellow contributors and writers as exciting as I find interviewing them.

I admit, I'm a bit biased towards the subject of my first interview. Thokran joined TWC and started doing AARs around the same time I did in July of 2009. Since that time I've admired his craft grow steadily along with his readership. He is the author of the legendary Visions of an Odyssey: A Makurian Dynasty, the MAARC XXI winner and currently is working on his fifth AAR for TWC, The Baltic Terror: A Teutonic AAR.

One of my favorite writers on TWC, I had the chance to ask Thokran a few questions about his writing, his time on TWC and his approach to the world of AARs.

1. What got you started into writing AARs? How did your interest in the TW series and its mods start? What was your first TW gaming experience?
My first TW experience came with Rome: Total War back in 2004. I remember having an amazing Julii campaign that I soon found myself entrenched in. Back then all I was looking to do was conquer the world, but throughout the campaign I found myself attached to specific characters throughout the years (one man of the hour, Kaeso Flaminius, became my faction leader!) It was only after that came that I realized that I really enjoyed the roleplay elements of the game, such as each character’s traits and ancillaries.
My girlfriend got me Medieval II: Total War back in Christmas of 2008, and again I felt drawn into the characters (Norman Blood was my second campaign, after a Spanish one I made). Wanting to see how other people were doing on their campaigns, I came across TW Center in Spring of 2009, and that was when I was first introduced to AARs. It was beyond anything I ever expected. I remember reading many great stories back then, such as:
-“The Center of Conflict” by Heartfire
-“The Story of the Moorish Empire of Timbuktu” by Kallum
-“The Help of God, the Love of the People, the Strength of Denmark” by Zhangir
AARs were what I always wanted out of my campaigns. They fleshed out the stories I already had dancing in my mind as I played each campaign. I knew then that I had to try my hand at it over the summer. The rest as we say is history.

2. Do you play the game as you write? If not, how far in advance do you play out the campaign?
That changes with each campaign. When I first started writing AARs, I tended to write way ahead of time, because I got caught up in playing the campaign. As a result, I was always way behind in writing from where I was in-game. This came to disastrous results in “Heaven’s Descent”, when my computer crashed and I essentially lost all the game files and pictures I had saved. Ever since, I have tried to throttle my gameplay time accordingly. In both “Glory of Ostermark” and “Visions of an Odyssey”, I was able to keep my updates just a few turns behind from where I was in-game, which helped me keep a fresh recollection of the events that happened during that turn, and essentially helped improve the quality of those updates.

3. What is the most frustrating thing about writing an AAR? The most challenging? The most rewarding?
The most frustrating thing about writing AAR’s is losing the urge to write halfway through the whole process. This almost always came when I suffered setbacks, whether with my computer, or in real life. It happened with “Norman Blood “ and “Heaven’s Descent” where a mix of computer problems and general business in real life killed my drive to continue, and as a result I felt a bit bitter being unable to complete either work.
As for the most challenging, it has to be making sure the story remains cohesive. There have been times where I simply forget I already mentioned something, and I end up repeating it, which would lead to general redundancy and confusion in my posts. I also found pacing myself pretty challenging, especially with school, LSAT, a girlfriend and several organizations to juggle. I would go from doing big weekly updates like I did in “Glory of Ostermark” to almost daily updates in “Visions of an Odyssey”. In both my writing suffered somewhat because I was either too hasty to double-check for spelling/grammar errors, or too reticent to keep readers interested with a consistent flow of updates. To this day that is my greatest challenge, but it is also the most rewarding thing to see when it finally does come together in a cohesive and paced manner.

4. What about TOTW? What about TOTW competitions do you find is most challenging?
I’ve only ever done the ToTW once or twice, but I can tell that they are quite challenging. What I find most challenging there is the word limit. Sometimes a simple image gives you so much to say, and yet so little space to say it all in. Short stories have never been my strong suit. Still, it is an area I find myself interested in trying my hand out at it more often.

5. You've won the MAARC which is not an easy task. What do you attribute your win to? What advice could you give to other writers in search of that award?
Mostly dedication and dogged determination. I think I participated in the MAARC like 4 or 5 times before I even got a spot in the top three, so when I finally won one I was ecstatic. Honestly, the first few times I participated in the MAARC I did it just to see how I would place. But it wasn’t until I really started working on “Visions of an Odyssey” that I felt like I had a chance of winning. I put a lot of time and effort into making that Makurian AAR the best it could be, and I was determined to finish it in epic fashion. The best advice I could give to others is to stick to their guns and keep a solid dedication to your AAR. I grew very close to my Makurian AAR that summer, and I really wanted it to reach the lengths and epic-ness of other great AARs, ala “I am Skantarios!” and “Liberation”. While I don’t think mine can compare to those too, I wrote it in that same vein, because it gives the reader a continuing storyline that they can rest assured won’t come to a screeching halt three weeks down the line.

6. Do you ever get writers block/photoshop block? If so how do you cope? Are there any pointers you could give to AARtists that might feel they are struggling with their work?
All too often. Sometimes I have Photobucket crap out on me and I’m short a few pictures, which means I have to improvise more story to help fill in the blanks. Sometimes I just wing it and I get less than stellar updates, and other times I go for a week without updating because I just can’t wrap my mind around the right theme for whatever update I might be working on. It’s a frustrating situation, but one I think every writer has.
My advice for others struggling with their writers block is to take a step back and look at how your AAR has progressed so far. Give it a quick read and see if you find yourself captured by the story. I find that it helps jog your memory and put you in the right mindset to say “Ok, I just got here, but this and this happened and I can react in this way”. The heres and theres a variables that help you flesh out the direction of your AAR and give you new ideas to work with.

7. What has been the biggest change in your style and approach from The Norman Blood to The Baltic Terror?
It’s hard to say. I feel as if my writing has gradually improved over the years, but that overall the style has remained the same. I would say that the biggest change has come in how I approach the AARs. With Norman Blood and Heaven’s Descent, I just wanted to recount what happened. I didn’t care how the quality came out, mostly because I was just so eager to get to the next step.
Using Call of Warhammer for Glory of Ostermark and Broken Crescent for Visions of an Odyssey really helped me realize that pacing myself and taking a more methodical approach to my stories would only serve to benefit me in the long run. In both those AARs I had an overall plan for where I wanted to go with the story, and whatever happened in between would just add to the overall story. I’m doing the same now in The Baltic Terror; that is, I have a clear direction as to where I want to go with my story now, and that helps me focus on how best to get there both in game and while writing.

8. There have been some great characters in your AARs but there has to be a favorite. Who is it? What was your favorite storyline that you developed? What was the biggest in game surprise and how did it play out in your AAR?
Oh wow, that’s a tough question. I can’t say I have a single favorite character, but I do have a few of worthy notice.
-King Rufus: I felt he embodied what a King of England on an extended tour of duty would be like.
-Bronzino: I loved his foreigner perspective on Ostermark, being the grizzled merc badass he was.
-Negus David: I greatly enjoyed his unparalleled malice, and how his terror alone broke the back of Ayyubid Islam in the Levant.
-Kubri: Equally entertaining to write, as he was born into a life of crusading, first along his father and later in India. He really grew up as a character for me.
I also have one favorite in the works for The Baltic Terror, but that’s to be seen later on.
My favorite storyline so far has been Visions of an Odyssey, because it was the one I spent the most time developing into a true epic journey. However, I have hoped that I can develop The Baltic Terror into an even greater story, and so on and so forth with whatever following AARs I have churning in the back of my mind. I’m always seeking to better my writing so that my favorite AAR is always the one I’m currently working on.
On a sidenote, the biggest in game surprise I had was in writing Visions of an Odyssey. Initially, it was Johannes who was to lead the people of Makuria into Asia. So when he died it threw a big wrench in my plans. I greatly underestimated the power of those Asian and Arabian powers. Thankfully it all worked out for the best, as by the time his son Basileios came of age, I had grown and developed my faction enough to launch a true odyssey in earnest.

9. As a prolific writer, is there one AAR or story that's your "baby?" Or is that story yet to be written?
I think my last answer also applies to this question. My “baby” is whichever AAR I’m working on at the moment, because it’s that one that I’m devoting my time and effort into making it the best it could be. Therefore, my current baby happens to be The Baltic Terror, which I have big plans for in the coming months.
I will say that I do have this one idea for an AAR in mind that I would love to write one day. It would deal with the Spanish/Portuguese, West Africa (Kingdom of Mali in particular) and the Caribbean/ New World. Unfortunately, I’ve yet to see an Atlantic Mod that has Europe, Africa and America all in one package in the same way that Broken Crescent was for the Middle East, so the idea may just have to stay that for now. Still, one can dream!

10. Will you ever revisit the lost files of Heavens Descent?
I would definitely love to! However it all comes down to when and how. It’s not that high up on my list of priorities, mostly in part to the fact that I’ve lost all the files for that AAR, which puts me at a disadvantage because I have no idea how to continue it short of starting all over again – an idea that has crossed my mind more than once.
I’ve always been drawn in by the concept of crusading. Indeed, Crusading in some sense plays a role in all my AARs so far. I think part of this stemmed from being unable to complete Heaven’s Descent. To compensate, I placed a lot of focus on Crusaders in Visions of an Odyssey. Still, I would love to one day return to the Kingdom of Jerusalem and give Heaven’s Descent the justice it deserves.

Interview conducted by Beer Money

Tale of the Week Section

The TotW January News

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

Hi again..

, and welcome back for another round of TotW coverage. Things have really picked up steam for the new year and it appears that some really exciting things are just on the horizon. First off, I would like to tell y'all about two dynamic, acending TWC Stars who have graciously given part of their souls for your viewing pleasure. ulti2day has taken on the monumental task of cataloging ALL the TotW Tales in an easily referenced index, the... TotW Story Index!

It is indeed a daunting and formidable task. xHerzoGx has donated his artistic flair to create a myriad of TotW artwork. As rendered, it shall be on display and available for use in... GENERAL INFORMATION: Tale of the Week Rules - SIGNATURE & USERBARS . Please rep their combined efforts if you get the chance.

Currently we have two Storyboards up for vote. Please stop by and punch a voting card should you feel the urge...

1. REVOTE: TotW 99a: The New Year, "Undiscovered Country"

2. ToTW 100a: "Just One More Question" - Colombo- Peter Falk
Also, this week's storyboard is up. So please feel free to throw down a Tale, or even just to pop in and encourage the writers a bit...
...

...

3. TotW 101a: "The Smell of Rain."
Due to an unintentional "Mis-step", the vote onTotW 99a was invalidated and had to be restarted, "after" the whole TotW story posting/voting guidelines were rewritten and a discourse occured in ANNOUNCEMENTS, Questions, Concerns, Commentary, & and SPAM,SPAM, SPAM.

The new TotW story Submission Guidelines & General Information presentation

Unfortunately coinciding, simultaneously with this, Mega had a stress breakdown at work and vanished from the TotW omnipotent universe. Luckily for TotW, pvtgunny has stepped up and assumed the Master of Ceremonies role for the interregnum...Now after the dust has settled the new, stricter, advertising rules are in effect.

6. Advertising: The Tale of the Week forum itself is allowed{and encouraged}. Any other kind of direct advertising to advocate a nominee is prohibited. Those who breach this rule shall suffer a Forum Ban for 3 months. Asking for votes is not allowed and will result in an immediate story disqualification and ban of 3 months from the Tale of the Week forum. Linking anyone directly to a vote, also incurs an automatic three month forum ban.

In a nutshell, rule violators will automatically receive a 3 month TotW forum ban. This policy has come into effect to keep in line with TotW's guiding parent, The MAARC Competition, under the direction of Hesus de bodemloze. So, now that you're up to speed on events let's dive into the story winners...

TotW 96a: In a Historic, Titanic, yet Incomprehensible triple over time vote off, Aonghus G. Friedhold eeks out an exhausting win over Copperknickers II by one vote. A.G. Freidhold's irrepressible march towards TotW medal status continues. In as much as both tales, are inseparably worthy of recognition Coppernickers II's Tale is presented here as well. Accolades are due to both these worthy Authors...

TotW 96a: The Picture

TotW 96a: The Story

Past the forest
And down the bank
Across the stream
And through the swamp
If you venture further
Into the ruins
Maybe you'll see a statue
Of a soldier, a man
Lying wounded and dying
Clutching his side
In agony
When you arrive at the statue
Look at the base
Where you'll see an inscription
Which reads as follows:

As the diplomats scurry
To fulfill the goals of their nation
The leaders Scream the command
Go and Fight, it's for liberation!

And the men the Pawns the Toys
They Fight, without cause and without Reason
They have no Hate for these men
But not to Kill and Maim, is Treason

And when they have won, or Lost
Then they return, to live and Regret
The leaders don't care, it's done
But they, the Soldiers, can not Forget

As life moves on around them
They don't live, a silent Memorial
To all those have fallen
Killed by their leaders, Raptorial

Now that they're gone, Forgotten
No one, any where, remembers them
People live with Ignorance
And the sacrifice becomes Worthless.

When you've read it
And return here
Try to remember
Those who have died
To keep you living
In the lap of luxury
Just because they died
Without reason
Doesn't mean they should be
Forgotten.

***************************************************

and below we have Copperknickers II's tale...

'Fear is not a curse. Fear is not a weapon that debilitates, or a trap that snares. Fear is a gift.' Those are the words of my brother, and I believe them. There is something primal about fear; it is raw, intense, and basic. When afraid, everything else is forgotten, as if you suddenly remember something important you have to do, and drop everything you are holding to go and do it. Fear, after all, is a mechanism of
survival, and all other concerns are dropped when your life is at stake. Self-preservation is a natural instinct, and when you sacrifice your own life, you are unnaturally destroyed. So my brother's words come back to me whenever I am afraid. 'You don't win wars by dying for your country. You win wars by making the other son of a

die for his!' - General George S. Patton.

I am a soldier, a profession in which fear is secondary to duty. It's a hard balance to maintain; you have to brave but cautious, in between ignoble cowardice and crazed impetuousness. And the battlefield is a terrible place, it's like a battering ram to your psyche - your very soul is ripped apart by what you witness. You cannot understand, envision or even hope to conceive what it feels like. The gunfire's terrible
laceration of the air nearly bursts your eardrums, the explosions, the screams of the dying and the sapid, metallic tang of blood in your nostrils... all of these give me horrific nightmares. The faces of people I have killed stare back at me when I look in the mirror, each one hangs from me, a lead weight on a heavy iron chain.

But I am not evil, though I have done evil. I do only what I must. For some people it delights them and thrills them, it's electrifying. As they shoulder their rifles and march forward, they are heroes. My brother says they are ignorant thugs who have no place in the military. Without fear, he says, you lose touch with your humanity, your imperfectness and your perspective, and then you become evil.

I'm thinking these things lying on my uncomfortable mattress, in our spartan Afghan barrack - even as an officer there are few comforts out here for anyone. I want to ask my brother about loyalty. I agree with him on a lot of what he says about our job, but I am worried he doesn't have as strong a sense of loyalty to his fellow soldiers or the generals as he should. One day he will get into trouble for that, for letting fear get the better of him, letting his animal selfishness overcome his obligation to the rest of us and abandoning someone in their time of need. He's older than me, but I often find myself protecting him, so I worry about him.

The next day, we are out on patrol. The company in the valley up ahead have been ambushed so we are going to assist them. We pile into the armoured vehicle, my brother opposite me. A couple of the guys are new, this will be their first time in the firing line. I can almost smell their fear, mixed with the by now familiar odour of sweat; all of us are drenched in it under the thick helmet and kevlar body armour. We
get out at the start of the valley and proceed on foot. The draining, oppressive heat of midday sun beats down upon us. The haze makes the sunbeams appear to dance timidly in the air, and the sandy walls of the valley are riddled with grotesque wind-carved sculptures. I am scared. But not as scared as some of the younger ones, at least I am used to this now. They glance around nervously, as if scared an army
of militants is going to jump out from behind a bush at any moment. We continue up the valley, hearts pounding, eyes watching.

What happens next, I don't really remember. I just remember waking up to find my ears ringing. It must have been a Rocket Propelled Grenade, or maybe a hidden bomb on the path. Luckily I don't seem to have suffered any major injury. I look round for my brother, and see that he too is unhurt. My mouth and throat are dry, but I ask him in a cracked voice what happened. He says it was an RPG. We throw ourselves to the ground as we hear a whistle then an explosion - another one, but it is much further up. Some of our company is ok, the rest we have to leave here for the timebeing. There is a building ahead, we see the flare and hear the crack as shots are fired from it. We take the building and climb the side of the valley, and see that there is a small group of militants defending a redoubt at the top. They are masked by
a screen of smoke from their RPGs.

There is a trench leading up to the fortification, and I order my squad to go into it. We assemble behind a wall of sandbags round the corner from the entrance to the bunker. It is imperative that we neutralise the bunker's defenders, I instruct. We have to go in there. My brother says we should wait for reinforcements. How can we wait for reinforcements when they will just be gunned down on their way up here, I reply. I am angry with him, he is indecisive and this situation calls for a decision to be made. And so I make one.

I feel alive. My fear has gone. I sprint from behind the wall. My brother tries to pull me back, but I understand now; he is a coward. I push him away, aim my rifle up straight ahead. This time, I go back into the arena, the sanguinary domain of the merciless bullet, with pleasure. I am a leader, I am a warrior, I am superhuman. But: fear is not a curse. Fear is not a weapon that debilitates or a trap that snares.
Fear is what would have saved my brother, when he ran out from the wall after me. He had seen him, the Mujahideen fighter behind me with his rifle raised. I looked round to hear a gunshot, and see the blood blossom from a small dot on the small of my brother's back into a scarlet rose. The two fell, and I saw my brother's bayonet sunk into the man's abdomen as they turned, and they landed together, locked in a hateful embrace. Fear is a gift. I threw that gift aside, and payed for my stupidity with the knowledge that I killed my brother.

TotW 97a: Again...in an overtime affair, Marechal Ney subdues his opponent Czone, to claim the banner of victor. Once again as both authors are pristine Czone's tale shall be shown as well. Congratulations to both of you....

TotW97a: The Picture

TotW97a: The Story

A gazelle trotted through the brush land. It ate some grass and walked around. Then its ears picked up on something; perhaps it had some clairvoyant knowledge of oncoming doom for many. Then its head burst into blood.

Lieutenant Colonel William Jameson surveyed the land before him. When he heard the shot, he almost thought for a moment that his line had been attacked by the Zulu. Of course, it was merely his men hunting. His aid approached him. "Sir…wouldn't you consider that an action such as hunting the game here could give the enemy a good idea of our position." Jameson sighed and turned. "Captain Howard, supplies are low. We need to get by somehow."

"Sir, I just do not think that this is the way. Our men are being rather endangered by such noise. And besides, is getting five rations worth potentially destroying the army." Jameson was annoyed. He considered how he had been immune from such stupidity in Transvaal. "Howard, do you see the Zulu army? Well I don't, and I clearly will not be frightened by ghosts."

And just then the ghosts attacked. Screams came from down the gradually sloping hill from the foraging party; a man with a javelin in his abdomen fell beside the game he had died for. Soon arrows emerged from the woods, and then a characteristic shield bang that several of the veterans knew all too well. Instantly company commanders burst into action. Howard went back to his men, and Lt. Colonel Jameson was now escorted by Lieutenant Ambridge and Sergeant Folwheather.

"Get the men into line, tell them to open fire and make sure that they get one very close range volley. That should repulse the damned barbarians…" Ambridge looked, worried, to Folwheather. Apparently both saw the flaw with the plan. "Sir," Ambridge began. "What of a Zulu flanking attempt?" Jameson quickly responded. "Ambridge, get a few men from each company. Fifteen men on each flank ought to be more than enough to hold 'em off."

Now the Zulu lines were charging through brush; Folwheather muttered that if an entire Zulu army could hide that well then they should just have individual fighters lie on the ground and kill passing British soldiers. "Nobody would likely notice" the sergeant said while smiling. Muttering curses to Irish humor, Jameson ordered his horse into a trot to view the lines. Just then his men started firing. Ranks of Zulus were falling. Jameson was glad that know the world could see the power and glory of Britain firsthand.

Just then Ambridge arrived back. "I have 15 men on both flanks, sir. Though may I suggest that we raise it to at least 35? The Zulus often like to try to surround their enemy." Jameson pretended to think about it for a moment, then laughed. "Do you really think that they, the unwashed barbarians of the jungle, could execute a proper flanking maneuver? The Zulu rely on ambush. Since we have responded to the ambush, we have nothing to fear." Ambridge sighed. "Right, sir."

An envoy from a group of riflemen in the center came up. "Lt. Colonel Jameson. There is…a problem." Jameson turned around. "What, I can perfectly see from here that the Zulu are nowhere near melee range. The envoy fiddled with his belt out of anxiety. "Well…they have appeared to be…well…in a fortified position. Apparently they managed to stack the bodies of their fallen and many warriors are now hiding behind them. Plus several are behind trees…" Jameson scoffed. "Well, keep sniping at those that they can hit. It's not that hard. Just repulse the damned barbarians already."

Just then a cavalryman burst through brush 100 yards to their left. He was not wearing uniform, and, with a cry, charged the command party. Folwheather drew pistol and opened fire. Three shots missed; his fourth connected but the rider kept coming. The fifth hit the horse. His final shot, at near point blank range, hit the Zulu in the head and stopped him dead. From behind his body came 15 more riders.

Ambridge quickly drew his gun and asked his superior to do likewise. Jameson responded by handing Ambridge his pistol. "How in the name of God did they get here? That flanking force was completely inept." Ambridge, desperately firing pistols as the command party moved away, managed to reply over gunfire. "Sir, those men are likely dead, look at what they had to face!" And then Jameson saw; a column of 50 very lightly armored Zulus, blood on their blades, dashing around the British flank. Looking right, they were approaching from that way as well.

The envoy, who, at the start of the fighting was halfway between lines and command, rushed back towards Jameson and opened fire with his rifle. A Zulu cavalryman went down, but the rest kept coming. Ambridge exhausted his ammunition and drew steel. Folwheather did likewise. Jameson looked around. "Where the hell is Traughtman? We could use his blade…" Quickly responding, Ambridge said "Corporal Traughtman was injured on a patrol last night in which a Zulu stabbed him while he was walking by and ran away. Apparently the patrol never noticed and the Corporal had to crawl back to camp." The last word was slightly muffled by the lieutenant's sword clanging against a Zulu spear.

Folwheather cut down a rider, his horse bucking madly.

Then Jameson contemplated as he watched, on the rifle front, the entrenched Zulus suddenly charging again; apparently numerous parts of the line were being attacked from behind. Hadn't such a tactic been used in the past? Yes, now he remembered. It was in the antiquities, by…a man from North Africa…Carthage, that was the country. And he had defeated a Roman army under…Skip? It was at Can…Can something, probably southern France.

While Folwheather screamed as a lance pierced him, Jameson suddenly realized that these tactics were being employed by the Zulus. In his peripheral vision he saw Ambridge's horse fall to the ground, dead, its rider trying to back away. Jameson had considered many times to draw his sword, but he was a commander, and that was not the way of a gentleman. He found it funny that such good tactics were being employed by the barbarians…and then a thought that would have been blasphemous in the past came to his mind: Were they barbarians? He never figured it out, as that was Lieutenant Colonel Jameson's last thought. He was surrounded by many dead men, and that field would be, by day's end, a bloodbath. Lying in the midst of men was a gazelle.

*******************************************************************************************************************

And now for Czone's tale....

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

It was a cold morning in Northern Holland. It seemed like the grass was covered in sunlight at every square centimetre. Warmth seemed to be radiating from every direction, but the only things that were actually warm, were the men in the French Old Guard. Well, men... I said that, but I meant the French bastards. I'm not one of the people that endorses the Batavian Republic. I hate it with a passion. Now on to my actual story.

The men were marching across the Dutch soil. Just like that. So, I decided to kill a couple. Suicidal? Of course. Smart? Obviously not. Sensible? Nah. A good

ing laugh? YES!
So I grabbed the rifle I stole from one of the French pussies when he was lying down after breakfast. Of course he was quite full after the TWO croissants he ate that morning. I had sneaked into the camp at night, waiting for an opportunity. I grabbed the rifle, bashed the skull of the French bastard in and sneaked out of the camp again. Then I had a proper breakfast and went to the field.

Now I'm sitting in a tree, trying to aim the rifle at an officer. Then I saw a short bloke on a horse. He looked like he was a typical Frenchman, arrogant, annoying and just a tiny bit bent. I decided to shoot him first. I shot and missed by a millimetre, as the bastards faggotly call it. I reloaded, and after a minute I shot again. RIGHT IN THE KISSER. The French woke up and started shooting at the small forest I was in. I shot another guy in between the legs, right in his peeing hole. They hit the tree I sat in, but I kept my balance. After shooting one more I decided to get the bloody

out of here. Jumping from tree to tree I covered a short distance, then let myself down and started running.

The guy I shot kinda looked like this, I hope he's some kind of high official or something, it'd be fun if I had any impact on history.

TotW 98a: Once again, in a one point contest, Russia Gondor grasps his first TotW win over Nefarious' noble entry.

TotW 98a: The Picture

TotW 98a: The Story

Santa sat down in his chair, staring at the fire which burnt brightly at the hearth. It was late in the darkest hours of the night and he desperately needed an idea. The evil Grentches had laid siege to his workshop. He could hear outside as his elves toiled labouredly creating snowballs to fight off the invasion. He remembered the Grentches attacked his workshop thousands of years before, in eagerness to destroy the presents, and ruin Christmas for all of humanity. Suddenly, an idea sprang up into his mind. He remembered what he had used to destroy the last Grentch invasion, the fabled Snowman army. It was a legendary sight to behold, a huge army created to defend Santa’s Workshop in times of great need.

Enlightened by the prospect, Santa got out of his chair and walked over to his bookshelf. It was filled with countless books that he had not read for many years due to the fact that the human population had increased, causing the need for more presents. He had to time to read through his books before, but now, he eagerly searched for the one book. He saw it, dark black in color, with the words “Snowman Army” etched in fine gold letters. He took it from the shelf, and began to read. Finally, at the last page, he had seen the words needed to summon this legendary army. The only problem was, the summoning could only be used, when Christmas itself, was in great peril. Santa read the words aloud, and nothing happened. Suddenly, a huge crash was heard. Santa got up, and ran towards the balcony to see what had gone wrong….

As he peered outside, he saw what had happened. The Grentch were firing huge chunks of magical ice, which froze anyone on contact, from their frozen catapults. His eyes bulged as he saw the buildings around his workshop being destroyed, and many elves frozen and chilled to the soul. Suddenly, the gate was broken as the Grentch poured into the workshop. The elves ran back from the walls, as they were felled down by the Grentche’s long claws. Santa yelled from the balcony “Rally Elves, fight back this menace!”

Fighting began as the elves barricaded the streets with snow forts and felled many Grentch with their candy cane weapons. Many on both sides were felled, but the Grentch just kept swarming into the workshop like a horde of ants, replacing the dead in their ranks. Slowly the elves took their toll and were overrun. Finally, the Grentch had made it to the heart of the workshop, where all the presents awaited delivery to the children of the Earth. At this moment, Santa stood at the door, with the last remaining elves. He opened the tome, and began to recite the verse again….

“I summon thee, from the frigid hearts, for the love of the ice! For all of Christmas to be saved, I summon thee fellow Snowmen, to fight!”

All of a sudden, clouds gathered above the workshop as a blizzard picked up, roaring through the streets. The Grentch laughed and eagerly approached the last doors into the present storage, when suddenly; snowmen began to fall from the sky. Santa gazed towards the sky, as the frightened Grentch were decimated from the falling snowmen. Thousands of snowmen now ran through the streets, slaying Gretchen with their brooms and wooden sticks. Christmas was now saved!

Note: for those who don't know what Grentch are, here is an image.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

And as "Last Call" for this session, we have the 1^st annual TotW Christmas Event. In a five entry, Highly contested match across the board, pvtgunny dug extra deep to come away with the Christmas 2 point event. Of such acclaim were all entries that those tales shall be linked for your reading pleasure...

The TotW Christmas Event 2010: The picture

The TotW Christmas Event 2010: The Story

The guns, the guns, their firing incessant over the past many days, or has it been weeks, months? Their barrels hotter than the place they send their hapless victims to. Their crews, automatons, never ceasing in their casual routine of ejecting, reloading, and firing. But they have ceased, that I know. I prepare to hear the whistle, signaling for a foray into no man's land, a raid perhaps, or possibly a top secret assault. As I make ready, preparing to once more engage in the gut wrenching activity that is an assault, I peer over the trench wall. A thin layer of ice and snow cover the ground, hell to walk in, worse when it thaws. The signal still does not come, what could the delay be? The Germans have now had ample time to prepare to repel our assault. We will be slaughtered, slayed mercilessly by the vile hun whose imperialistic ambitions hath brought me here. The hun, whose imperialistic ambitions hath laid to rest thousands of men. The hun, who shall soon endure our rath. Yet the signal does not come. As I continue to peer into the vast wasteland that is no man's land, I see a ghastly shape coming toward me. It is wearing a helmet, so incredibly distinct, that I know what it is: a hun. I instinctively raise my rifle, a look of sheer terror fills his bright blue eyes. "Nein" he shouts, "Nicht schiessen!" I do not listen, but slowly begin to pull the trigger as fear continues to eminate from his entire body. He shakes, and I know it is not because he is cold. But he was lucky. A Welshman to my right swats the gun from my hands, saying "What you doing that for? Don't you know there's a truce?"

"A truce? A truce? What the hell are you talking about Mitch? For what?" I sputter in disbelief, wondering why anyone would make peace with the hun. "Why Lewis, don't you know? It's Christmas!" he says cheerfully. "Ja, Weihnachten" the German says rapidly, still unsure if the fates have called his number. I take my chances and step out of the trench to look this hun in the eye. He is my height, and probably the same age. His light blond hair flutters in the slight breeze as he takes his helmet off, a faded number '16' printed on the front. We continue to stare at each other, looking deep into one another's souls. As I stand their staring into his blazing blue eyes, I notice something. I am staring into a mirror. This boy is me, and I am he. I feel a deep upwelling of emotion inside me. My mind is suddenly rushed with thoughts, questioning 'Why the hell are we fighting this war', 'Why must we kill one another? Why must we fight? Pro Quis Voluntas, Pro quis voluntas est is totus? A tear slowly begins to form in my eye, and I notice the same in his. We are brother, separated from birth, from even earlier than birth. But we are brothers none the less, entwined in a conflict that was not of our own making. I can see clearly now, that it was not the vile hun, that there were no imperialistic ambitions on the part of these soldiers. I stare into his eyes and realise this is a mistake, this is nothing but a misunderstanding. This conflict must end, all conflict must end. We must learn to love one another, as I have learned to love my new brother. Not five minutes have past since I hated him with a fury brighter than the sun itself, but now I see there is no reason to hate, to loathe, to despair. There is only reason to love, on today of all days: Christmas. A day in which we should be at home with family. He should be at home with family. But fear and loathing have driven us here, and fear and loathing shall keep us here, likely to our dying day. But now is not the time for such thoughts, now is the time for kindness and compassion, the time for human love.

He moves, snatching my helmet off my heard and placing his helmet in its place. It is a strange helmet, and I laugh as he places my helmet on his head. Not one man would now be able to discern who the British soldier and who the German was. We are no different. To my left, I notice men beginning a football match. "Wollen wir ihnen beitreten?" he says. I do not speak German, but I know what he said. I pat him on the back, offering him a cigarette, saying "We shall"

Two weeks later, as we pushed into the German Trenches, I noticed a young man, immobile, his deep blue eyes staring upwards in an endless stare, his blonde hair waving carelessly in the wind, a faded number '16' on his helmet, and oh, how I yearned for Christmas. Why must that season come once a year? Why must we only wish good tidings and cheer for merely one day? If the spirit of Christmas was enough for me to release my prejudice, why is not every day Christmas. Why must we go back to merciless slaughter one it is all over? Why must we kill, why must we behave like such barbarians for 364 days of the year, and only civilized people for one?

I made a covenant with God that day, swearing always to live my life as it were Christmas. But why don't others? Perhaps in time, forte tempus. Merry Christmas.

Here's the link to the other Christmas Event stories...

VOTE: The TotW Christmas Event 2010

Well... the Editor has just called "press-time", so until we meet again this is Mega Tortas for the Critic's Quill, wishing you good fortune and good journey...

AAR Review Section

Pontos Rising
An RTW Europa Barbarorum 1.2 AAR by FriendlyFire

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

It is always a pleasure to read RTW AARs, because classical antiquity provides a unique, epic context for playing Total War games. Particularly interesting are the underdogs of the era (and the game), which is precisely what FriendlyFire delivers when telling the story of Pontos, the small kingdom in Asia Minor. He is using Europa Barbarorum, the first and one of the most comprehensive mods ever developed to address the issues of historical accuracy in RTW.

Pontos is not an easy faction to play. It starts with only one region, which is right by the Seleucids, the regional superpower also known by EB players as the “Grey Death”. It has a rapidly shrinking treasury overseen by a 70 year old faction leader who, as the author put it, “knew that he was not long for this earth.” This setup requires a lot of attention to the game itself, yet the gaming experience does not overshadow the story itself.

The AAR is still at a fairly early stage, and the plot centers on the exploits of the new “warmonger” king and his younger brother who on the other hand is “more suited to city life than out on the campaign trail.” The story is told in third person, except for one chapter which unexpectedly presents an excellent first person memoir, showcasing FriendlyFire’s strong writing skills.

"Where was I when the great king Ktistes died? Starving in the winter snows outside some Ptolemaioi fishing town that the gods had forgotten about! You know something's wrong when a messenger comes galloping into the camp, royal banner flying, horse all lathered. Five minutes later we're ordered into formation, the prince comes striding out of his tent still wiping away tears, and then we all had to stand there in the snow and swear our royal oath again. You don't forget a day like that in a hurry."

I would definitely advise him to surprise the readers with more treats like that.

The narrative of the AAR is clear and easy to follow. Character development is supported by carefully chosen character cards and trait descriptions. The campaign is well documented (including the use of chapter cross-references, which I have not seen elsewhere), and the battle descriptions are straightforward.

This was the moment that Ariobarzanes and Smerdis had planned for: the phalangites dropped their sarissas and switched to axes for close combat, and while Ariobarzanes attacked Sarpedon's bodyguards from the front, Smerdis led his bodyguard in a charge around the main square and attacked Sarpedon from the rear. The Pontic bodyguards swung their vicious forward-curved swords, competing eagerly for valor. Finally Sarpedon was trapped against a wall, and there he fell.

I like how FriendlyFire reflects on the battles he fights, but I would suggest doing this in a separate post right after the update, or maybe by using spoilers. Many readers, including myself, are interested in how the game progresses behind the story. However, these notes are best kept separate as break up the flow of the narrative.

The pictures complement the story in a seamless manner. The campaign pictures are abundant yet well selected and informative. I particularly like how the family tree is portrayed under the character card.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

I am not a great fan of adding infrastructure development pictures to AARs, as they tend to be a bit repetitive. In this case however, FriendlyFire does an excellent job by making a collage from a couple of small pictures. This is a unique way to indicate what happens in the settlements, as the individual pieces are not overemphasized but the importance of general development (or destruction for that matter) is still clearly visible.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

The visuals of battle scenes in RTW are less detailed and elaborate than in MTW2, and EB has also made some changes to make the troops a bit less colorful (therefore historically more realistic). This however, still allows great battle shots, especially with the dust effect.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

The battle pictures are cropped and the angles are well selected. My only critical comment relates to the blur effect used to draw the attention to a central character. It does not seem to work all the time and may generate the illusion of the pictures simply not being sharp enough. However, this is a matter of personal preference, and there are cases when the blur effect comes out in an strong artistic way - for example the shot showing the final moments of a Galatian general.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

Overall, Pontos Rising is a solid AAR with an interesting story and engaging pictures. Updates come regularly, and the story has a constant quality. It is bit more on the picture-heavy side, but the reader does not feel overwhelmed. I would encourage FriendlyFire to experiment with occasionally moving away from the descriptive storytelling to a more engaging, plot-driven narrative. He clearly has the talent for it.

Review by Radzeer

The Merchant of Venice
An M2TW Deus Lo Vult AAR by Nicollo da Conti

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

Please take care everybody. The AAR I’m going to talk about can be considered as a sort of Jewel, wonderful and secretly hidden. Indeed, I guess that only a little group of well informed readers had heard about that original story. You won’t find it in the usual AAR forums.

It is called The Merchant of Venice, and has been published in the DLV private AAR forums. It is an old story, written in September 2007, but which keeps a fresh flavor, thanks to the splendid content. The Author, Nicollo da Conti, prefers to warn us in advance that he apologizes for his writing skills. Thanks to an ironic touch, forewarning of a nice read.

I have written professionally for almost a decade now, for magazines and newspapers, television, and websites, and perhaps you've even read something I wrote. If so, my apologies.

When I read the title, I stupidly thought: “Ah, the Merchant of Venice, please not again, I’m sick about those bastards’ merchants’ kingdoms, better to make some despicable benefits on the poor than fighting a proper war. I’m exhausted of those Italian mercenary states, which prefer to sell their mother better than raising a sword.“

However, at that point, my stupidity met and clashed with a brilliant tale. Since the first lines I was lost… I’ve been completely stunned by the story of the brave, famous and cunning Tusco Dolfin, random merchant of the Serenissima Republica. Here he is.

The Story
The Hero is 30 years old, had lived near Venice since his first days. He succeeded avoiding being a salt worker like his father, but instead followed his dream: travelling the known and unknown world as a merchant.

My father wished that I would join him in the salt pans, but my eyes were always drawn seaward to sails on the sunrise.

Hopefully, thanks to that wise decision, the story of Tusco would surely be more interesting… Therefore, as you probably understood, this AAR was predestined to be as original as it was well written, which it is both in spades.

The author brings us amongst Tusco luggage and we discover thanks to a personal diary the adventures of his wandering. Instead of the usual battle comments and the general decisions, we learn to think with Tusco what would be more profitable, between a goldfield in Albania, and a vineyard in Bari Isle, between some sulfuric veins in Anatolia and wool farms in the Holy lands.

Apparently, Tusco had easily made his choice, as highlights some of his diary lines.

My accounts, however, were somewhat diminished by the quality of his wine; lest it be known, I have an affinity for sampling

Well, so it seems that it is not only the story of a Merchant, but also of a Drinker.

There is much to celebrate, and staying the summer at a wineyard definitely helps. I have drank to the Third Lateran Council (whatever that is), the Consigliari's new son, the Doge's glorious victory... I even toasted the new grain exchange of Iraklion, which I hope to see soon

Maybe a little alcoholic at the edge…

I am drunk with wine as I write this.

More or less.

And it is quite entertaining to deal with such a hero. It is important to understand that it is not a comic AAR, but the author knows how to add a touch of fun when needed.

Step after step, journey after journey, Tusco travels all around the Mediterranean sea and further.

I have been seasick for many months now; the waters have stirred so violently, but have finally let up and our fleet now approaches the Isle of Corfu.

He is going to meet interesting people, like local governors, fleet admirals, foreign merchants, imams, spies, and worst…

You will surely tremble, fearing for his life in the Eastern deserts. You will wait with anxiety the outcome of some financial transaction with other merchants, who are the real danger.

I must be wary of his intentions; long did he and Lorenzo drink into the night, perhaps making secret alliances and cargo agreements.
He's now on his way to Baghdad to take over my sulfur trade. Whatever. Young punk.

Life is tough and Tusco manage to use his skills and craftiness to steal some easy preys, and increase by the way his fortune.

Shortly after my arrival, I spied an old Jerusalem trader named Henry d'Ivry, imbued with wine and vomit in a makeshift tavern, flashing his coins to impress anyone who would look

However, the good old Tusco is not only focused on money, he also has some thoughts for the Serenissima and his friends at home. He always tries to have some information about the political state of the Republica, with great difficulties because of the distance.

News from home now is fleeting and succumbs to rumor and exaggeration. I can only pick apart the details from traders along the Silk Road.

Thanks to that trick, the author only reveals parts of the fate of Venice and the royal family. And the news are seldom good ones. Shame on some lords, blind to understand the real need of their people and of the Republica.

Therefore, Tusco endures as well as he could his wandering journey, risking his life, fearing for his friends in the motherland, waiting for a new voyage further and further…

…and sometimes meeting interesting people.

In great secret I have befriended a woman named Shahrazad. I don't know her true standing in this place, but she tells good stories while my head bobs from sleeplessness and I try to forget the troubles of home. Someone should write down her great stories. I somehow think my time here will end before they are through.

Pictures
This is what we can call a “Textual story”, which focuses on the diary.
However, there are some pictures.
Mostly map picture, showing Tusco wandering here and there, meeting some people and trading some stuff (mostly wine

).

It is essential in order to help the reader fixing his ideas and understanding better Tusco journeys.

In addition, the author has added two battle reports with pictures. It fits with the story as drawing brought by a Venetian admiral to Tusco.

However, it is clear that it is not what makes the story appealing, but it adds a touch of medieval war in the AAR, and it is still a nice thing.

About the pictures, we could notice that if they are nicely cropped and selected, there is often some text in it, or even some green selectors who are never much liked for the immersion of the readers.

Nevertheless, we can’t blame the author for that, as it wasn’t his will to make some beautiful pictures, but be focused on the diary.

Critics
So, let’s try to summarize the interesting points of that Merchant diary.
• It is the auto-biography of a Merchant, which is definitely original amongst the AAR horde. I never read a similar one.
• The story is quite a short one (7 chapters), and is well written from the beginning to the end, holding the reader spellbound with a well made intrigue.
• There are few pictures, well chosen and useful for the understanding.
• The spelling seems perfect, and the writing appears definitely to come from a professional writer, who knows how to catch the reader's eye with beautiful phrases.

Definitely, this jewel is stunning and entertaining as hell.

Conclusion
So, dear readers: those who want to read an entertaining masterpiece; those who like to enjoy an original story; those who love to learn about the medieval merchant life; those who are ready to shudder and worry with dangerous adventures. Please just rush to The Merchant of Venice!

Tusco is going to welcome you during his trip across the raging sea, the wet hills, the dried up deserts, the dangerous mountains and the frozen steppes of Eastern Europe. You will enjoy the company of his friends and fear the one of his foes waiting for his gold, waiting for his blood. Be courageous and endure the tough life of a medieval Venetian Merchant. You shouldn’t regret it.

And at the end, you will surely discover where his last steps are going to lead him.

I shall wander soulless and alone as penance to a God that my country and I have somehow forgotten.

Review by la coupe est pleine

Primus Inter Pares
An M2TW Stainless Steel AAR by Radzeer

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

I. INTRODUCTION
Following his breakout success with Chronicles of a Hungarian Freeman, Radzeer has returned to us with yet another promising work of art in Primus Inter Pares – The Kievan Rus. Fresh off his recent win in the MAARC, Radzeer has proven to us yet again that he has a story to tell, one that we the readers find ourselves very drawn in to from the moment we start reading. Primus Inter Pares is an AAR that is both captivating and engaging, thanks to Radzeer’s masterful pictures and encapsulating storyline. And like his last work, Radzeer makes sure to give us a unique perspective of this faction to further accentuate their rise to power.

II. STORY/PLOT
The story of Primus Inter Pares revolves around the rise of the Kievan Rus through the Royal Dynasty and their court. Among the court are three brothers that we are introduced to through the prologue of the story. Saved from marauding steppe warriors, these brothers are raised to serve the Royal Family and play major roles in their rise to power. At first, much of the story takes place from the perspective of Rurik the warrior and Alexios the clergyman, the two elder brothers in search of their youngest Oleg, who was taken in by the slave trade. This journey to find their brother plays as an overarching theme throughout the story. But it is through this journey that we begin to see how simultaneously the Kievan Rus expands its power and influence as the story progresses. Thus, in a seamless transition I found myself not only engaged with the story of Alexios, Rurik, and Oleg, but of Mstislav and Yaropolk, two of the Grand Duke’s sons, among many other impressionable characters.

Overall, the story is engaging and multi-faceted, although I do admit that I tend to get confused sometimes remembering which region is which. Thankfully, that too is remedied through pictures which I will elaborate on in a bit.

III. WRITING STYLE
Radzeer employs the use of third person perspective for his AAR, making sure that each of his major characters receives important focus on whatever issue they may be facing. In the north, Mstislav worries over his military ambitions in Lithuania, while in the south his younger brother Yurii plots away in Caffa, seeking his own form of ambition and glory in the east against the Cumans. Despite these different aims and goals, Radzeer makes the Royal Family of the Kievan Rus feel very much like a family. Familial affection is shown between brothers and fathers and sons alike. This is best portrayed during the funeral of Anastasia, wife of Grand Duke Vladimir. The Grand Duke shares some emotional words with his son and heir Mstislav, who himself is torn in choosing his own heir from either his brothers or his sons.

Vladimir was silent for a minute. Then he nodded. “Do as you wish, my son. I trust your judgment, as I have always trusted. But there is another question I want to discuss.”

“What is that, father?”

“It won’t be long before you will be the Grand Prince. In fact, you are already, except for the title. So tell me, who do you want to name as your heir?”

Mstislav was unprepared for this question. “I haven’t thought about it, father,” he said. But this was not true. Mstislav have thought about it a lot, but none of the choices were without flaws.

“Let me ask it in a different way,” said Vladimir, seeing his son’s puzzled face. “Will you prefer your sons over your brothers?”

“Our tradition allows one of my sons to be named as the heir. Seniority is not the only rule anymore.”

“It is not, but many people still prefer it. Do you think that one of your brothers will challenge you? Maybe Yaropolk?”

“He will not do that.”

“And what about his sons? From what I heard, it seems that they do not have much love for their father.”

“I heard that too.” Mstislav was in fact very concerned about this. Yaropolk’s oldest son, Zhirovit was just about to have the coming of age ceremony. Many in the court knew that father and son do not like each other. And Zhirovit had an influence on his younger brothers too. Yaropolk grew bitter in the past years. “I will make sure to find opportunities for his sons,” said Mstislav firmly.

“So which of your sons will you favor?” asked Vladimir.

Mstislav knew that Vladimir prefers Oleg, his youngest son, the appointed governor of Kiev. Oleg would be a good choice, but in that case not only his uncles, but his older brothers too would be disappointed.

“Now you think that I would like to see Oleg as the Grand Prince one day,” said the old man. “But if you take my advice, you appoint Gostislav.”

Mstislav was not sure he heard it right. “Gostislav, father? Why? Petr is a much better commander! And Oleg is probably a better governor!”

“Which is why you should choose Gostislav. I agree with you about my grandsons. But while Gostislav is not as strong or clever as you may wish, he can balance his brothers. And while you may not appreciate your oldest son, his brothers certainly do.” Vladimir stood up. “You make me proud every day, my son. May God’s blessing be with you under Mensk.”

The dialogue here is not only superb, but it also highlights the importance of family. These sons and brothers may have their own individual agendas, and as such may one day find themselves in heated conflict with one another. But they are still bonded by family, which makes the dynamic story of the Royal Family as engaging as that of the familial bond shared by Alexios and Rurik, ever in perpetual service to their Kingdom.

As for grammar and syntax, both manage to be spot on and solid. Battle descriptions too are also well-portrayed so that the reader has a solid understanding of what’s going on throughout the chaos. They are at times brief, but they are effective enough in showing the reader the turnout of a particular engagement.

IV. PICTURES
Complimenting his story is what I believe really makes Primus Inter Pares stand out: the pictures. Radzeer shows no lack of effort in delivering expertly taken pictures of the highest quality. It is these images that really captivate me as they are not only properly cropped and resized as needed, but they are also taken at particular angles that help them accentuate the flow of the story. There is no doubt that these are some very impressive images. Below are just a few of the myriad of amazing pictures Radzeer has provided us with for this AAR:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

However, Radzeer’s pictures aren’t just for aesthetic purposes. They also serve as valuable visual aids that help the reader get a better understanding of the workings of the Kievan Rus. Maps and Family Trees are thoroughly edited to provide easy understanding of who the major players are in the Kievan Rus, and what regions make up the lands of the Rus. These are further fleshed out by character descriptions at the beginning of each update that give quick descriptions of each major player in the Royal Family and their court. I found this extremely useful as a reference point to help me get right back into the story.

V. CRITIQUE
The complaints I have for this AAR are few and minimal at best. Some of the pictures are hard to appreciate, given their small size. There are also times where the lack of spacing in dialogue may prove distracting, but again these are at most trivial complaints. One thing I do find myself wanting more of however is a bit more elaboration throughout the story. There are times where I found myself sifting through more images than I did actual storyline. This is most likely attributed to the style of the AAR, so it’s not necessarily a bad thing. Rather, it’s just a personal qualm of mine as Radzeer manages to construct such an engaging story that leaves you hungry for more information – an elaboration that is absent as the story is already off to bigger and better things. In a sense, the criticism is itself a byproduct of the AAR’s strengths.

VI. CONCLUSION
Radzeer has worked hard to create a compelling story that just seems to draw us readers in. His powerful imagery and visual aids bring us into the world of the Kievan Rus, and the story always leaves us wanting more, as we grow to learn the workings of this Royal Family and their court. It is a story of conquest and political intrigue, but also one of family. Radzeer has made sure to update constantly with rich and vivid posts that only seem to ramp up more in quality and quantity with each successive post.

Overall, Radzeer has proven himself to be a very talented writer and gifted AARtist. If Chronicles of a Hungarian Freeman was what established him as a promising AARtist, then it is Primus Inter Pares – The Kievan Rus that cements his position as one of the best up and coming AARtists on the site!

Review by Thokran

Pahlava - Birth of an Empire
An RTW Europa Barbarorum AAR by Boriak

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

My first review of another person's AAR seemed daunting at first. I didn't know where to start but if there is one thing that draws me to a good AAR its the story of a lesser known faction. It is very easy to become attached to their early struggles and with a small starting point, it is exciting to watch the empire grow along with the AAR.

Boriak's Pahlava is no exception. Playing the RTW mod Europa Barbarorum version 1.2, the Pahlava kingdom is one of those lesser known empires you see on the start-up screen in the middle of nowhere being dwarfed by the neighboring Seleucids. Boriak's intention with this AAR is to put Pahlava on the map.

The AAR wastes little time in establishing its main characters, the king Phrapates and his grandson Arshak. Arshak is a bit of a rebel and wants to throw off the chains of slavery of the Seleucids while Phrapates is content with the order the kingdom initially has. Needless to say, Arshak isnt a good listener and decides to invade Seleucid territory. Obviously we wouldn't have an AAR if things ended peacefully so through some questionable judgement calls the two soon find themselves having thrown the people into war and trying to unite the the Parni people and the people of Persia against the enemy.

Not only do we follow them on their attempt to forge an empire but we get to see the grandson Arshak learn from his grandfather and grow from a naive boy into a leader.

One of the great things about this AAR is it builds the story predominantly through dialogue between the main characters. It allows the story to move quickly and for the reader to be engaged very easily. The love hate between grandfather and grandson seems to go back and forth quite well through this method.

Yet while I liked the tension that was built between them it seemed to diffuse easily for convenience and I felt that took away from the great plot line developing there. Also, there is some confusion between Arshaks. There is Arshak the elder then Arshak the grandson and sometimes it can be confusing who is who in the story.

The strongest part of the AAR is in the beginning and Boriak creates a great introduction. Character development is strong, through such observations as:

"A good governor yet mediocre in the saddle. It could have been worse. He could have been like his son. Gods only know where that one got his spirit from. His mother perhaps?"

Pictures are used sparingly and only for a heightened effect of the main plot and exchange of dialogue. The author has chosen to focus his craft on the storytelling which is a great coming-of-age tale. The pics that are used are very effective:

Had the author had photoshopped the pics, they could have had even more impact I feel.

Unfortunately for this AAR, the author is extremely busy and the posts come infrequently. I have been guilty of this myself in the past so I understand it comes in the AAR world. Yet as I know first-hand, this can lead to gaps in the story and there is a bit of that here where the story jumps at points. Still, it is easy to get back into a groove due to the pacing.

I highly recommend this AAR for its engaging writing, the great rapport between characters and its unique view on a faction that doesn't get much attention on TWC. Hopefully, this will be the first of many AARs from Boriak as I really enjoy his ability to recreate conversation between his characters.

Review by Beer Money

Rome - A Scipii AAR
An RTW AAR by Benz282

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

Introduction
When I first saw this AAR, I was surprised. It's not everyday you see an AAR with the entire story in the first post. Yes, the whole AAR was in the opening post of the thread. The entire thing in one place. The result is a small thread and no "UPDATE!!!!" posts, which I have seen often.

The AAR is not one that starts from the beginning of the campaign up until the writer conquers the world or achieves a similar goal. Infact it is about a part of the campaign that is quite small.

Writing
The AAR starts off with a quick overview of the campaign, a quick report flashing past everything. But as it goes on, it gets deeper and more detailed; to the point where one chapter has no action at all, just an account of a party.

As said, it starts off as a report and reporting is the ongoing style of this AAR's writing, but we gradually begin to realise that the story is actually bigger than just the bare facts of the gameplay. The writing also works at creating a sense of place to help the reader feel they really are following a piece of Roman history. For example this reference to the Divine:

Perhaps the Gods had a change of heart, or maybe it was Fate, but the King realized that he had been flanked and, indeed, was doomed.

There is sometimes dialogue between the main characters which in addition to the slightly more story-like report style of this AAR, is a nice touch.

Cnaeus' Tent, 4 days later...
Captain Titus - "Sir, an Egyptian army has been spotted to the North-East of our camp. They are within 2 days march of here."
Cnaeus Albinus - "What are their numbers?"
Captain Titus - "We are not sure, but we are fairly certain they have over 1500 infantry, along with 250 chariots."
Captain Vibius - "Sir, if I may..."
Cnaeus Albinus - "What do you have to say?"
Captain Vibius - "Our scouts have located an undefended bridge on the Nile. It is to the south, within a few days march. If we make haste, I am confident we can reach it before the Egyptians catch up-"
***Messenger rushes into the tent, bows quickly to the guards and approaches Cnaeus***
Cnaeus Albinus - "What reason for such haste, man!? And why do you appear so nervous?"
Messenger - "I...I br-bring word from Captain Lucius, s-sir."
Cnaeus Albinus - "Lucius...?"
Messenger - "He is in charge of the garrison of Alexandria, sir. He asked me to tell you that the Egyptians have been pushed back. The city is saved."
***The room bursts into applause and cheer***
Cnaeus Albinus - "Aye! This is joyous news! Why do you say it so solemnly?
***Cnaeus realizes something is wrong. The Messenger's eyes dart. "He is scared..." Cnaeus thinks to himelf.***
Cnaeus Albinus - And what of Nero Balbus? I believe it was he who I left in charge of Alexandria"
***Cnaeus' question is only answered by silence. All is quiet in the tent. Though no answer is given, everyone in the tent knows the fate of Nero. Cnaeus' eyes begin to water***
Cnaeus Albinus - "He cannot be dead! He was the champion of our academy! He was a better swordsman than even I!"
***A long silence ensues, only to be broken by the ever-solemn voice of the messenger***
Messenger - "After all the Egyptians were dead, the army began celebrating Nero's victory. While our backs were turned, Ptolemy rushed in behind us, catching us off guard. Nero charged into Ptolemy's guard in hopes of saving us, but he was outnumbered and was quickly cut down. Despite our best efforts, we were unable to kill the treacherous dog, and he has escaped."
***Upon hearing this, Cnaeus turns his back to the messenger and walks to the back of the tent; his private quarters, knocking down many-a expensive objects on the way.***
***Cnaeus turns back to the messenger, eyes red, and points at him, then shouts***
Cnaeus Albinus - "There will be blood for this!"
***Cnaeus points at each of his captains***
Cnaeus Albinus - "We will make sure of it! They will pay for this!"
***With that, Cnaeus exits the room, leaving the rest stunned.***

But the formatting of these parts are inconsistent. For example, in the above quote, dialogue and charater names are italic, the character names are underlined and action is bold with three asterisks (***) around the text. But a scarce two chapters later, the formatting has changed drastically:

Cnaeus is putting his armor on, getting ready to begin the day's march. Cnaeus slowly sits down, holding his helmet in his hands. The helmet is beautifully crafted, with red plumes and gold trim. However, Cnaeus does not stare at the exquisite craftsmanship, rather, he looks into the dark recess where one's head would be. He becomes lost in the void, his consciousness suddenly taken from him by his ever-wandering thoughts...

Captain Titus - "Sir?"

Cnaeus, shocked by his sudden return to reality, drops the helmet and looks up at Titus, who is obviously concerned.

Cnaeus Albinus - "Yes? Are the troops ready to march, Captain?"
Captain Titus - "Aye. They await your orders."
Cnaeus - "Ah, good then. I will be out shortly."
Titus - "What direction do you want the army to march, sir? I will go ahead and have them begin."
Cnaeus - "We will march to the south, as Vibius suggested last night."
Titus - "I will alert the troops, sir."

Titus heads for the entrance, but turns as he opens the tent door.

Titus - "We all lose people we care about in war, sir. Take comfort in the fact that we are on our way to get vengeance."

With that, Titus exits, leaving Cnaeus alone. After a few moments, Cnaeus sighs, then stands up and walks out of the tent, into the dazzling sunlight of the desert...

And it keeps changing! Inconsistency is a bad thing for any writing, especially in such a good piece as this.

Images & Visual Aids
This AAR is 40-45% screenshots. They are nearly always edited, cutting away unecessary areas and adding the army before battles.
But the one thing that has to be noted is the taking of the screenshots. Benz can take screenshots so well sometimes I am convinced he opens Paint and constructs the pictures himself, one pixel at a time.

Spoiler for A Great Screenshot:

And this isn't just a one-off!

Spoiler for Another Great Screenshot:

Conclusion
There is no such thing as a perfect AAR. But this one comes a lot closer to perfect than most AAR's. And the screenshots are almost beyond praise. I would recommend this AAR to fans of both story AAR's and report AAR's. The only thing that really brings it down is the lack of consistency with formatting.

Review by Calisthenis of Green Day

Work Critiques Section

Short Story #1
A story by MaryPoppinCaps

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

After an attempt of running through the motions of browsing the Work Critiques forum, I was pleased at the discovery that the activity in the forum has really picked up since last November and December. What was once, literally, one or two quality works to select from has, to use mild hyperbole, increased exponentially, and I would like to thank all writers in the WC for displaying your attributes in Creative Writing. However, my quill has only so much ink, so I had to limit my selection to only one article this month, and I’ve chosen Short Story #1, MaryPoppinCap’s third contribution to the WC section.

The story begins with the young teen in a dream about an encounter with a young woman that he played out over and over again in his consciousness; the praise that he ascribes the woman is nothing short of poetic, depicting her as almost a goddess, lacking in flaw, and sharing in love. Most striking of all, her voice, is able to sing past the pitfalls of the narrator’s own folly. When he brings their bodies together, life is breathed into each of their taut, expectant forms. Though the scene is clearly the sexual desires of a young man, it’s important to realize that though the narrator physically wants this woman (who interestingly remains unnamed), it is made plain that he wishes for a union of souls just as much, perhaps more even, than the union of bodies. Eventually, the narrator wakes up, but, somehow, again loses consciousness, sees the woman again, but it unable to grasp her image, and he wakes.

By this time in the story, we're supposed to realize that the narrator never was really asleep; he was merely in a reverie, and was really on his way back to his home for the foreseeable future, a dormitory on a college campus. Not surprisingly, he sees her, or remembers an instance of where he sees her, and his mind again hints at loving her more for spiritual reasons, but watches as she instead chooses the attractive forms of surfers, football players, and others of their ilk rather than him. After a time, the narrator arrives at his home, and reflects upon the meaninglessness of that word; he elaborates upon his family history a little bit during his inward thoughts, never really blaming his parents for the circumstances, but certainly seeing the environment that he had been placed in as the principle antagonist to his happiness.

The story ends with the narrator going into another dream, or reverie, they’re really interchangeable in this work, where he imagines the nameless woman again with him, except this time, they are dancing off to a figurative forever. He wakes, but is again forced into a haunting sleep where he meets her, and they cast off in their metaphorical raft; upon that raft, the narrator chillingly acknowledges what he knew all along; that he loved her and she did feel reciprocal feelings towards him.

As for my critique regarding this, I’m going to start with what I liked. You employed a wonderful array of figurative language; your similes and metaphors were well endowed and employed properly. Additionally, your use of imagery was quite good; lines like ‘the vast azure’ and ‘amethyst night’ really gave a solid picture of what the reader was experiencing. Spelling and grammar were also up to par which is rare when I make my reviews. What I don’t think works so well in this is the flow, especially at the beginning. It is very disjointed as the sentences are almost bullet-like, which makes it very difficult to really get involved in the story. Luckily, it doesn’t continue like that throughout the entire story and after about midway through a lot of your flow issues were gone, but not entirely. The idea of your narrator constantly blacking out or in going into his reverie isn’t necessarily a bad one, but the one in the beginning, after he ‘wakes up’ and sees her in her gold dress, isn’t particularly well done, and leaves a lot to be desired for when trying to piece it together. To elaborate, it really just doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, even if you’re trying to establish multiple layers of personality. Overall, if you really want to polish this up, then I’m confident that you will be able to accomplish your aim.

Review by Carloginias

**Juvenal** · February 04, 2011, 03:15 PM

Issue 24 - Part 2
This is the bit of the Quill where the in-depth articles live.

This month we have an analysis of Bad Guys in AARs from dezikeizer, an overview of Work Critiques from Nanny de Bodemloze, and your essential briefing pack for entry into the TWC Scriptorium from our secret liaison with the Librarians - Major Darling.

Table of Contents

Article Section

Characters and Time Period: the Bad and the Ugly

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

By dezikeizer

Most people probably know me for my helping with spelling and grammar errors, but in the time I’ve done that I’ve also read plenty of AARs. Along the way I’ve noticed something of a trend.

Some people seem to prefer to go the honorable and just route with characters in their AARs in Rome Total War and Medieval 2. In fact, at times it leaves me feeling that too many AARs are disneyesque, with the side of good always winning in the end. History was different, and many times ruthlessness and distasteful actions were necessary to succeed. For example, a supposedly honorable ruler, Philip Augustus of France after returning to France attacked the lands of Richard the Lionhearted while Richard was still off on crusade.

Now, I’m not saying that there wasn’t considerable honor and justice during these periods, but the truth was probably much closer to somewhere in-between this and the opposite end of the spectrum. As such, incorporating this into AARs can add considerable authenticity, making it seem more like the time period the story takes place in. In ancient and medieval times life was often brutish, nasty, and short, with life expectancy around 30-35. People died often quite young, and many times of diseases easily treatable today.

Furthermore, it was customary even in ancient Greek and Roman armies that if a city resisted siege it would be sacked or worse exterminated. Carthage in 146 BC is only the most famous example, but there are plenty of others, such as that of Jerusalem in AD 70, or Corinth in 146 BC. Among barbarians and nomads it was even more common. Medieval armies were never particularly well trained and there are plenty of sackings and massacres of cities there too. So again, doing so in your AARs adds authenticity for those time periods.

This grittiness and nature of life for people during ancient and medieval times certainly shaped the people of the time period, and not necessarily for the better. In a harsh world, men often had to be ruthless to survive and less than savoury characters did quite well. It would only be fitting then, to sometimes have less than savory characters conquer empires, and succeed. It only adds to the flavor of the story and the time period, where truly ruthless men like Genghis Khan conquered empires.

That is part of why I liked I Am Skantarios so much, that what war can do to a person is shown, and that one doesn’t have to necessary be the most moral ruler to succeed. Now you may be thinking that I’m saying that it’s acceptable for rulers to act like that. I’m not approving of the actions they took from a moral standpoint, merely a practical standpoint. I wouldn’t do such thing if I were in their position, but that’s often how things were done back then. However, writers often write about good characters, perhaps out of the influence of today’s standards and norms, and or that they identify with honorable actions. These can make it hard to identify and connect with the way things were during those time periods, but in my opinion, one should still do their utmost to connect even with these elements. Doing so adds in your AAR adds a certain flavor and uniqueness to the story, as it goes against the grain, and shows the realities of war, of leading a nation, and again of the time period.

You may be wondering, then, about how to use darker characters in AARs besides as the antagonist, but instead as the protagonist or supporters of the protagonist. Well one thing to note is that they don’t have to be out to conquer the world, instead they can be reacting to threats to their power or even their life. In this case, they may merely be accumulating power to make sure that they are safe from being killed or losing their position. One way to get in that mindset is to think of how someone who is very suspicious of others. There is also the possibility that they after sufficient hardship and warfare became dark, ruthless, and perhaps even cruel. This would be similar to Emperor Skantarios in I Am Skantarios.

There are plenty more possibilities to types of darker characters that can be used, and which type they are definitely has an effect on how a writer would use them in a story.

After all, if you’re going to roleplay as you play the game that goes with the aar, then the nature of the main character affects what you do. In case of darker characters this can determine things like how aggressive they are in pursuit of power, and in starting wars. Using and understanding their mindset, even if it’s very different from your own, dramatically effects what you do in your AAR.

I hope this has been helpful and provided food for thought for immersion in the time period and using darker characters in AARs. Perhaps more such characters will be present in AARs soon.

A Stroll Through TWC's Creative Writing - Work Critiques

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

by Nanny de Bodemloze

Every so often, I drop into a little known area of TWC called "Work Critiques" in the creative writing section of the forums. Here, one finds a wide array of poems, diaries, short stories, essays, musings, songs and meanderings. There are many gems, and it is interesting to see the raw works of our talented writers.

So in this article, I will take you through a few of the entries that caught my eye.

We will begin with a recent addition, "The Field of Battle" by MIDN Mainolfi

I stand in a field, the sky turns grey.
And the grass will also turn another colour this day.
It will be stained with all the blood that I spill
For I will not live if I do not kill

The men I will slay, I have never met,
But my orders are given, my goals have been set,
For although I don't understand why,
Someone powerful has decided these men must die.

As I march forward into an uncertain fate,
To do battle with men that I do not hate,
I begin remembering the times of olde,
And wonder what the future will hold.

If I am to lay upon the open field,
left to die alone with my sword and shield,
When I plunge into the wall of men and steel,
I will suffer the pain they are about to feel.

For the need of two nations to settle a score,
Men like me are sent off to play war,
But in this game, only one walks away,
Rotting in this field, the other will forever stay.
　
　

A recent piece, it is a decidedly anti-war poem set in a medieval or earlier era told in the first-person from a reluctant soldiers perspective. Improvements could be made by removing contractions ("don't") , as a poet ought to capture the language of the era. As well, the reference to nations is too modern. But such small distractions are overshadowed by gems such as:

"When I plunge into the wall of men and steel,
I will suffer the pain they are about to feel."

There is much depth to this poem (more than meets the eye), even though the vocabulary is not overly sophisticated (perhaps purposely, given the common soldier's point of view). An enjoyable and provoking read.

Next, we have a modern submission, "So Now I Am" by MrMofo, a quiet tragedy quite topical during an era of Western economic recession.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

So now I am.

The story goes back and forth between Eustice as she's young and old. She's a smart lady who works as a WalMart greeter, and it's the story of how she came to be where she is: old, penniless, alone, estranged from her son, starting over all over again.

The bathroom smelled like somebody had poor aim. Eustice wrinkled her nose as she entered. The puddles on the sink had joined up. The garbage can was a cone of paper towels; the dispenser was empty.

Eustice checked her hair in the mirror while Maria went into the only working stall to tinkle, as her Nanna still called it, as if every time she sat down a fairy flew out. She watched the encroaching water on the countertop carefully, mindful to stay out of leaping distance. If she got water on her pants she’d have to crawl under a rock and die.

Turning sideways, she surveyed her profile, scanning herself up and down, tucking in some parts, pushing out others, waiting for the sound of tinkling in the stall to stop. Finally, it did. “So, what do you think?” she asked. She had her preference, but kept quiet. She wanted to see which one Marie liked. Voicing the virtues of her own choice first might sway Marie in one direction or the other, maybe the way Eustice intended to jump herself. It was best to wait.

A rush of water. A clank. Maria squealed the latch open on the stall and stepped out. “Um. I’m not sure. The blonde one is cute. What do you think?”

Of the two boys, one of them was a dud. He wanted nothing but to use them like a tissue and throw them away, and both of them knew it. Older girls, more experienced, having had more contact with men, might have rejected them both as a whole, content to share the comfortable company of one another. But they were young. Walking away wasn’t an option they knew they had. It hadn’t occurred to either of them that a nice evening for one might not be worth the dreadful evening of the other. Second best was on the menu for one of them. All that was left was to decide for whom.

But that decision would wait. The other would break, each was sure of that; friends did that sort of thing for one another. Each clung to that assertion and remained silent on the subject in case they tipped their own scale in the wrong direction.

Eustice checked herself in the mirror once again. “Still got that flask?”

Maria stepped up and looked into the mirror with a sneer. Unslinging her purse from off her shoulder, she dug out a metallic flask and passed it to Eustice. It was her father’s flask, but he’d never miss it. If there had been the slightest chance that he would, she would never have taken it. He had a few just like it, and a full cabinet of liquor, too much to keep track of.

Eustice took a swig and grimaced. Whatever Maria had managed to swipe, it was foul, but it was good to have it. No complaints from her. Alcohol, like all secret joys, came with a price. The burn of the last slug clinging to her throat, she swallowed, readied herself, and swallowed again.

Maria splashed water on her hands and dabbed her hair. Fussing with her hair was a habit for her, pushing, patting, coaxing, as if there was a right way for it to be, a perfect spot it should stick. Wrong, it was always wrong. Often, she would let it hang low and hide behind it. She was shy, too shy, thought Eustice, and too good for a girl who was so pretty. It had been hard to convince her to come along. She’d had to appeal to her sense of adventure, making a grand affair of the evening, as if they were living in a storybook. Once that was done, surprisingly, everything after was easy, Maria was along for the ride. Eustice thought getting her to steal the liquor would be difficult, but she was wrong. From lying to theft was but a short leap. All part of the fun, all the more exciting.

It is a sad piece, glimpsing into the life of someone who has thrown her life away in many regards, and who's future is bleak. It is the plight of the working poor, of someone who seeks some measure of redemption, but is unable to work past the demons. It reminds me of the pathetic, and sympathetic scenes from The Wrestler, when a person is on the downturn of life and finds themselves in a situation partially of their own doing, and partially of circumstance. That sometimes, surviving to the end of the day will have to be enough.

Dipping a little further back into the vault, we find "Do Mad Men Eat Metal Sandwiches?" by CescPistols, an interesting short sci-fi piece. It is a layered work, and can be seen either as someone who has casually taken control of time/space in the future with powerful technology, or the implications of a modern video-gamer with the power to control real alternate universes within a computer (ala Tron).

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

Fingers tapping lightly at dusty keys. I command you to delete years 4578 to 76000. Done and gone.
No one can touch me although they can watch me. How do I even remember English - how does everyone remember English?

It has arrived.

440. Years deleted, commanded, c-c-c-c-consequences known to b-b-b-be... oh damn you machine, you are too old, too damn old, like me but I’m still working, like a machine, like you, but not you. Of course I wish I was, but maybe I am. I mean, I’m an individual, though without any purpose except this for 30 years, lonngggg years. It keeps me alive and well physically, though a toll on my mind could’ve been had.

I eat sandwiches and delete years. Maybe I’m a backwards mass murderer, murdering what has already lived so maybe I’m not. I do stray sometimes, off the path and into the woods.

Sometimes I’m here and content, in the middle, not off to the ancient left. Democracy. Liberalism. Whatocracy. Flickers of these gone. What just happened? I thought I was safe here, sandwiched between the space and another space because of course there is no end.

This determination of sides makes me an individual in every sense, no one within trillions of miles.

Strolling off over here, I’m bolder and more aware.
I think there is something behind this.
30 years. Can’t say that’s fair.
It’s oh so brutal as well, deleting whole eras.
They were evil, or were they?
I never met them.
Oh look a sandwich.

It is fair.

It’s a long time away

And I wonder...

But no it’s fair

But again I w-ww-w-w-onder

It’s all a game, is t’t-t—that ‘’’’’ it?

Oh a ssanddwich

This one looks tastier66767767

-----process-----

I heard a click as I ate that, old body eh.

All is well

‘Procter, Procter are you thereeeeeeee? We have the machine, we’ve used it. C-c-c-communicationkjfgjkfd, damn it man, this clunky piece of crap, listen. They’ve been turning you Wittling you down to a sharpenedffff tool-tool-tool, a drone,’’’ NO.54455435 INSERT this thing, Procter, they’ve turned you into a mindless weapon we don’ know what’s going onbgfhg, please, we know what you have done but you were forced and you are human, so you should escape. They’ve been feeding you lies. The controls mate, just in your reach, i hope you receive this mesag, we dopn know how long before they realise’.

You know, self, I slept well. But you see Mr.Ceiling I had a nightmare, I heard some clicking, a jarring, and someone was talking to me, voices in my head eh?

I must be going mad and I have to say, my voice does sound rather tinn----ENTER YEARS 954435453 TO YEAR 666666666666666///////

I prefer the latter view, as I picture someone destroying eras and lives as casually as "eating a sandwich", like some super Civ IV game. We have all had the wayward thoughts of what would happen if the lives we play with on the keyboard were really felt somewhere, and ended up at the place where we debate the nature of the soul and self-consciousness. The unique layout keeps the illusion of a computer terminal. A fun read to be sure.

Inside the Scriptorium

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

Welcome to the first part in hopefully a long collaboration between the Scriptorium and the Critic's Quill. The Scriptorium, which may be familiar to some of you is one of TWC's most interesting Content departments. Responsible for finding the crème de la crème of TWC and storing it within the Archive we maintain. This ensures the thread is never lost, and it also gives some merit to the author. I considered it an honour to have a piece of my work put into one of the Scriptorium's catalogues.

That's how the Scriptorium works, there are a number of Catalogues, each encompasses broad topics popular on TWC. A Librarian suggests an article is added, and within the secret voting forum, a poll is held. If a majority agrees, it is stored in the main archive and a link added in the Catalogue. Every month an Editorial is released listing the articles stored that month.

The Script is also responsible for running Writing Competitions, this is relevant right now because the Japan Writing Competition has just launched! I hope as many of you as possible enter and feel free to send your entries to me or any other Librarian

.

Now let's move on to the featured review this month. This month I looked through the Scriptorium's currently featured articles.. However, I decided I would review something else for you, something far more interesting...

Hiroshima
Article Author: Katsumoto
Review Author: Major Darling
Original Thread: [Fiction] Hiroshima

This article, although short, is one I proposed to enter the Scriptorium months ago. It failed its first vote, but then after it had matured like a good wine, it was entered once again. It passed and now it sits proudly in the Catalogues, along with many other pieces by the author, Katsumoto who should be repped for his writing. The fact that such a short piece of, dare I say fiction can strike such a tone. The use of short but strong sentences, "The Second World War was Over" really display the sternness of the peace. It explains to the audience in simple but meaningful words the process that went through those people's minds that day. The fact that a human made creation can destroy an entire city, Katsumoto who is passionate about Japan really brings that link into his writing. Another interesting aspect of the story is the two perspectives.. We see real names, people involved in the mission, it makes one want to look into this further, we then see the gentleness of Hiroshima. The soldiers doing "gentle" exercises but then hugely contrasted with but a line later, "The heavens tore open". In the author's last paragraph, he uses statistics, nothing can communicate the destruction of war like numbers in those amounts.. A "Blink of an eye" killed 70,000... It really does strike a tone within your heart. I really do admire this piece of writing, and nothing can make me understand the depth of this operation in World War 2 than Katsumoto's story. I hope he keeps writing, and I hope you keep reading them. Check out the Historical Fiction forum for more like this or the Fiction part of the Real World catalogue in the Scriptorium.

Overall, I believe this is a fantastic piece of writing and I think it truly deserves it's place in the Scriptorium.

~ Major Darling

That will be all for this month! Remember, whenever you find an article/guide that you believe is worthy of being stored in the Scriptorium, do not hesitate to drop a PM to a Librarian, and we will be happy to consider it. A list of all the currently active Librarians can be found in this thread. See you next month! And keep classy San Diego.

Major Darling & The Librarian Team.

From the Editor's Desk

Well, what an Issue!

We hope you have picked up something of the writing buzz. This isn't just a place to admire the work and achievements of others. You can pitch in and create something yourself!

There are so many things to write about, and so many strands of interest on these boards that I would defy anyone to be completely stuck for something to write about that doesn't already have an audience here at TWC just waiting to read your masterpiece.

Should you feel competitive, then please check out the Scriptorium Writing Competition 2011. There are categories to suit every style, and the rewards for victory are generous. And to cap it all, when the competition concludes, there will be a special edition of the Quill to celebrate the whole event.

If you want to go and explore creative writing at TWC for yourself, here are links to what I think are all the places you can find it...

If I have missed any forums with active AARs then please let me know and I'll put them in next time.

So, did you like the issue? If you did, then it must be something to do with my writing team. If you were particularly impressed with a review or article, then please consider repping the writer, every piece has a link for just this purpose.

Anyway, I'd like to thank the team for their hard work, so please join me in giving a big hand to Radzeer, Carloginias, Nanny de Bodemloze, la coupe est pleine, Calisthenis of Green Day, Mega Tortas, Beer Money, Thokran, dezikeizer and Major Darling. Don't forget, if you liked their work please do rep them, they deserve it!

Would you like to write for the Quill? Just send me a PM. Even if you want to do something outside of our normal remit, I am still likely to be sympathetic (unless of course it falls under the remit of one of our sister publications). So don't delay, send that PM now.

Anyway, thank you for reading, and so, until next time, farewell!

Juvenal

If you find yourself at a loose end, then why not consider sampling some of the TWC publications or creative forums. It's easy, just click through the picture!

And last but not least...
The Illustrator, newest star in TWC's firmament!

**Beer Money** · February 05, 2011, 12:19 AM

Nicely done!

**Radzeer** · February 05, 2011, 08:53 AM

Another great issue!

It is really great to have new people contributing in every issue.
I would like to thank Thokran for his professional review and very generous comments on Primus Inter Pares!

**Beckitz** · February 05, 2011, 10:08 AM

The Quill is always an interesting read; and quite handy for us AARtists.

Good work guys!

**dezikeizer** · February 05, 2011, 12:41 PM

Great work as always, and good to see Boriak's aar as well as Pontus Rising reviewed. Boriak's aar really is a gem, and I wish he would update it more often.

**Zarniwoop** · February 05, 2011, 07:20 PM

Excellent read, as is Merchant of Venice, which I'd never have noticed were it not for the Quill.

**BemusedHorse** · February 06, 2011, 01:49 PM

Didn't expect to see my work there.

Wasn't really thinking of video games at all to be honest, but it's the reader's interpretation that matters so. Wrote it in ten minutes for one of my university societies at the start of term as an icebreaker.

**MIDN Mainolfi** · February 06, 2011, 04:52 PM

I'm in the same boat, I didn't expect mine to be worthy of a mention in CQ, but hey, I won't complain.

I agree with the critiquing though as well, the conjuction's shouldn't have been used, and I should have replaced the word 'nations' with kingdoms or empires, which sounds more epic anyway.

**la coupe est pleine** · February 06, 2011, 05:53 PM

Woaw.
2 parts for that new issue.

The Critic's Quill is definitely growing and I hope it could continue that way. Well done to the reviewers and writers.
Mostly, a great Bravo to Juvenal who kindly compile and take the time to correct all the work edited.

I particularly like "The bad and the ugly" article from Dezikeizer. Very nice thoughts about AAR storylines and character management.

See you all to the next Quills.

**Nicollo da Conti** · February 06, 2011, 08:46 PM

I am quite humbled by the inclusion of "Merchant of Venice" in The Critic's Quill 24, and thank la coupe est pleine for the nice review. I hadn't realized how much wine Tusco was consuming in his travels, so it was surprising and quite funny to see it pointed out so clearly.

I haven't re-read "Merchant" since its completion, but I remember really enjoying the writing process. I played just a few turns at a time, wrote, published, rinsed and repeated, so it really felt like I, as the author, knew as little as the reader did about the ongoing story.

My congrats to all the other inclusions, too. I should make a point of reading more AARs (and The Critic's Quill, of course

), because there is really a wealth of creative talent on twcenter. Good work, all around!

**MrMofo** · February 06, 2011, 10:44 PM

Hi. Wow. This was good. And I'm honoured to have a piece included in the critique section. I think the analysis of it, even though it's only a short snippet of a larger work, was fairly spot on.

I'd like to point out, as well, that the piece included here, was only a snippet of what I posted to the forum. The entirety can be found here:

http://paperseraglio.blogspot.com/20...ame-stone.html

*So Now I Am* is actually a mistake taken from my opening blurb. I didn't include a title. But it's a fortuitous mistake. *So now I am* would make a good alternative title for the book my excerpt is taken from. I may consider it.

Good reading. Thank you again.

**Boriak** · February 07, 2011, 09:33 AM

Wow. I had no idea AARs are taken so seriously. And such a positive critique. I am humbled.

I had every intention of writing the Parni AAR regularly. Sadly, life has been hammering at me from every possible corner. My wife has decided not to be my wife any longer. To make matters worse, she decided this right when I needed her support most. I'm struggling with a bachelor's degree in physics and it's becoming more and more demanding. My writing efforts have shrunken to editing a fantasy novel which means playing the Pahlava campaign, where the inspiration for this AAR naturally comes from, has been put on hold.

I can't promise anything at the moment. I will write if I can spare the time and energy.

Boriak

**Thokran** · February 07, 2011, 01:10 PM

Great edition! It felt great to be interviewed by such a renowned writer and friend as Beer Money, and it felt even better to finally be able to contribute to this awesome publication with a review on some of Radzeer's stunning work. Reading through the Quill reminds me how much these publications help not only to improve our writing, but to bring us as AArtists together. Awesome work putting it all together, Juvenal!

**Molina** · March 08, 2011, 07:17 PM

When's the next issue?

**Juvenal** · March 09, 2011, 01:44 AM

Originally Posted by Molina

When's the next issue?

Have you not noticed...

The unnatural stillness?
The sudden cessation of birdsong in the street below?
The click of the front door?
The creaking on the stair?
The cold clammy draft under the door of your bedroom?

Yes, just like the Phoenix, the Critic's Quill is coming back to life! Even as we speak, a new collection of completed articles is slowly but inexorably forming itself into Issue 25.

Nothing can stop it... indeed it would be here already but for my heroic indolence. Expect it at the week-end.

You have been warned.

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