[XC-AAR] CHALLENGE ACCEPTED! Season II-Page 18 start

[The_Blacksmith]

Sreenshots taken

of what?

"Giggity, giggity, goo"

[tudor93]

niceee
oh, I mean AWESOMEEE

[StealthEvo]

Challenge Accepted; Season II- Day 4 No Sex in the Champagne room.

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"Perhaps you should consider the clear conclusion from this path. There will be no survival. You cannot follow this idiotic frame of thought and expect to escape with your life."

"There is nothing sacred about my life to escape with"

Aww whats up gaiz and potentially bewb carrying girlz. Back on track with another most henious updates.

Lessons Learnt. Sometimes it's just not in the cards.

Also still waiting on a winner for the guess the caption competition. You now have four seperate episodes to try and figure out the location of the Season two Italic quotes.

But enough about trying to impress me. Why on earth would you impress me. I dunno. Maybe secretly some of idolise me.

Last time. WE WUZ COTCHING OVER HERE! Cade Jr Jr had just rescued Pativium from some not sexy romanz.

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However the growing Roman front has it's disadvantages. We are entering a completely red zone. Every border settlement will be under intense scrutiny As shown below.

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With the Ai camping I tried to lure the Cav in.

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I kinda worked. Then it didn't

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Judean Rebels. So not raven. But they will actually not do anything or lay siege due to the lack of army movement in the far south. I'm fine letting them cotch.

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Southern France adds more bloodspill to a covered landscape.

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Long gone are the fresh green recruits of Rome past. I'm now starting to chew the meaty veterans of past conquest now. Also a staggering amount of siege weaponary.

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But I have a secret weapon. Two turns to deploy and worth every turn.

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Proof.

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Dealing with trouble back at home.

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Sent back to the kitchen to make me a ing sammich.

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I like how the Romans are actually adapting for once. Unlike in real life. These lot seem to think they are Scythians.

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And like Scythians hill camp in the corner.

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But they waz skooled.

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The northest point ever since the migration. And theres a battle.

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Clever use of my own Cav to rout the romans while their general is still alive. My infantry isn't fast enough to catch the skirmishers on foot. i'm having to redesign a tried and incredibly successful army wherin I had strong infantry to hold the line, rather then chase down noobs. More cav I feel. For once both my Cav and Infantry are heavier then anyone I have faced.

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The numbers don't lie

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WHERE THE DID THEY COME FROM AND TWO!!!

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Berdic musters a strong frontal wall defence.

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Ah...

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My attempt at being all arty farty like several of my contemperaries. However unlike my peers. I will explain it in some depth.

This is an attempt at post modernism within a clear spectrum. I'm trying to explain the hardship of the Gaullic Hero's as they defend their conquest; from what is essentially communism. Not a fan of communism you see. Everyone is so equal. I would like to draw attention to the center of the piece. We have Berdic. A low born Gaullic with low prospects and only location drew him into the adventure in which he became Berdic.

Having just led his men through the breach. Both literally and metaphorically (A loose reference to hell if you will) he had taken the fight to the Romans. Again like he has done many many times in past years. However i chose this exact moment wherin he is leaning in his saddle to cleave an unsuspecting Roman's head through the helmet. The soldier having chosen a fantastic moment to take the shot appears to be running away from the angle used. Wherin it's clear that his facing is just at another unit. I call this technique mastery of photo taking. Never before done at such a professional level.

/sarcasm

Lol. .

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Well that was unexpected.

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The challenge steps up another notch!

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With predictable results.

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Retaliation.

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RAWR

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MOAR RAWR!

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Eep. That wasn't meant to happen. I left it on super fast and couldn't stop it. Resulting in the death of Cade Jr Jr and the loss of my elite army.

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Still blood has to be repaid in blood.

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Debt repaid. Interest has not

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Berdic has actually not only been recognised by me as awesome. But XC has a way of really letting you know when you've done something right. And according to the game. Berdic is better then the Legends of past. Better then Bazza, Cade, Decent Looking. I'll let you be the judge of that. Personally I disagree. The others had a off slog fest through underdog odds. Berdic just fought the easier battles.

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Always pushing. I have 76 more turns to meet my target of 100 BC to win.

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Romans be sneaking...

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Romans be dead.

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Safe tings.

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And simutaenously!

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The path to Gaul is finally free!

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To highlight the slogfest that remains. This is the most northern mainland Conquest I need. At best minimum 6 settlements into deep roman land. However in doing so will cut their empire in half.

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And the Spanish provinces. I think i'm going to boat it for these ones. No point in sending the Gaullic forces south at a critical time. The battle rages hard and fast. Stealth against his own expectations. The loser. My liver.

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[Iniquitus The Third]

CADE JR. JR. IS DEAD NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Oh well. He'll need company in the afterlife, though. I advise you to get to it.

[Gone 2 the Celts]

[Zarax]

Here, on the house with garum cookies as snack

[NerZhulen]

what mode is this played on?

[Artillery_Duck]

I haven't managed to read the update yet, I feel awfully distracted by something...

[The_Blacksmith]

what mode is this played on?

AWESOME MODE

[Gone 2 the Celts]

AWESOME MODE

don't you mean awesomely sexeh mode?

[The Stig]

[TheJim]

Mohammed I'madinnerjacket? LOL

[Diomede]

zomg what how did I miss three updates to this? Epic.

[Gone 2 the Celts]

I am lacking in my daily doses of sexehness! Come Back!

[StealthEvo]

I am back. Just buseh! But rest assured the shots are taken and the awesome is breeding. Like rabbits on Viagra.

[ccgr1121]

[StealthEvo]

Challenge Accepted; Season II- Day 5 I don't get sad, where the sadness gland is, I have another Awesome Gland.

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I am what I am.

"Can you see what I am."

No. But you smell like a dead man.

"That would be because I am a dead man. Not like any man you have seen"

Are you lying? Dead men can't walk

"Perhaps."

Safe tings. Tune of the day... Everything by Feint YEH

As an aside. For those who have followed since day one, or from those who have joined today. Out of boredum. This update is 6 days to the year since my first post in this AAR. I think it's time to bully an interview and review from the Critics Quill!!!!

Lessons Learnt. Sometimes life really wants you to fail and reminds you every step of the way.

Behind every great leader there is a woman with equally sized 'architecture' to match his ego.

Last time. We wuz ere.

Sizing up the competition. It's going to be a sexy slog in some sexy lands. Iberian brothers are HARD CORE.

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The dem Ebil Moslems. I mean Romans don't want to let up for a second!

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However in the pit of doom and gloom something good seems to have come. Yes incase the creators are watching the doom of empires whatsit seems to be pissing me off. Congrads.

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Even the Roman Rebels want a piece of the sexy.

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They even fight like Romans. Oh wait...

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I teach them that being naughty never pays off. I invaded them proper.

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Whenwhile in Gaul. Berdics Son arrives and he is ing sexy. Only because I need another general with a horse and that new one is still in Indo Gaullic lands. Still Berdic was rubbish and look at him now!!!

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Ever the organised leader I send him to work sharpish.

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Meanwhile my game winning tactic of relying on mercenaries makes a sweeping and sexy comeback. Meet the Iberian Brother rosters. Plenty of Cav options to beat down those pesky light infantry and ballista's and heavier infantry options with a bit more flexibility then the heavy end of my own roster.

Oh and theres ing hundreds of them

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Just like how the player used to spam Urban Cohorts back in the day. The Ai now does it. However unlike in the real RTW games. These guys are glorified town watch. But now the Ai have mustered enough pizazz to field these guys the battles are going to be a bit more tough. Thats still a higher defence rating then I can field with the exception of one or two units. God it's like the ing seleucids all over again init...

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Higher attack, less missle less armour moar pew pew.

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They earn't their women tonight

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Remembers Bazza's eejit Son's even more useless Son, turns out he's actually useful. So he's going sailing TO THE FRONT LINE WITH YOU!

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Relief at last comes in the form of an ELEEEEEEET army. Well I say elite. It's mostly a pre marian Roman mercenary army. No biggy.

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Berdic however is not stopping his beer fuelled rampage.

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Swiftly moving on! Time is a ticking. I GOT A DEAD LINE TO MEET

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The man keeps getting more awesome. No longer is he content with declaring himself a better leader the Likes of Bazza, Cade and Artist Formerly known as Uggers. But he has the ing gods themselves on their side. THIS MAN IS INTENSE!!!!

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Meanwhile the often ingnored by the gods Northern Border prepares for it's virgin battle. Well not really, everyone but the commander.

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Chariots pwn in this game. Imagine the Eygptian Chariot General times 15. Thats one unit of XC chazza's

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He lasted as fast as I could hammer the screenshot button from the last one.

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Starts tings like his old man. Hero style. Naked. Surrounded in naked women. On a porpoise. With a ing unicorn eating a brony.

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A frontier is finally established. Plus a good production base for decent quality troops. Things are looking up for once. Only took 5 days to beat back the Romans.

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A certain boat is seen off Sparta's coasts..

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The relief army didn't quite make it....

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I arrange my men with a battle plan in mind. There is one difference between the forces. Romans = screaming poorly trained barbarians. Me= Well trained experienced barbarians. So I lay a trap.

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The weather turns and the Romans near the square. The bodies litter the floor.

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I find it amusing that the end of this campaign is looking just like the ing start. Desperate battles, failing economy and me ending up the underdawg.

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He is making good progress. Hopefully there'll be sommat left.

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The Gaullic Spanish Inquisition continues it's zeal inducing hard core legalised murder under the 'God' that is Berdic.

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Taken.

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AAAAAAAAAAARGHHHGH YOU ING EEJITS. You have no idea how angry I was when I saw that trait. I so do not need -5 Morale loss. Unlike Cade and related peers. Berdic does not have the +10, 15, 28 morale bonus. (Yes Cade had worked up a +28 bonus to Morale which is why when he died everyone ed off). Berdics as far as my memory goes is only like 7. Now it's two. This isn't good.

On the plus side. Brother had 17 ing influence. Thats almost two entire bars filled with Influence. Guess he is like the Hitler of the Ancient World.

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Cutting off the Sea of Red.

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Pushing north. Theres one or two mission settlements that I need to take. Like in Spain it's only for the required provinces. Conan will have to man the up.

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Less happy about this one. He's still in the homelands.

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His second and biggest challenge yet.

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Cav, Ballista's and Skirmishers. Those Chazza's are going to have their work cut out for them.

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I carefully pwned them. This battle was like a chess battle. Those Chariots were running around kicking everyones arse. One even got so into it they tried killing their own brothers.

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It's only been a year. Things are shaping up nicely.

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More Romans come to challenge the upstart.

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Mortal Kombatted.

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ing Berdic.

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An attempted Ai noobox. With Urbans.

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Tactics....

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They were out tactified. ing Berdic.

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Night Battlez!

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Because I was drunk when I was taking the screenshots I forgot to hammer the button four times. But check the minimap. One moar province Jeeves.

A slap dash force to initate a multipronged attack. I am now trying to be smart.

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Berdic finally gets a chance to crush the Romans behind the walls.

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Probed.

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Things are almost too sexy to bear.

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Hell yeah you are. Influenced by the most Awesome Race of People left alive on the planet.

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Thats not good...Where did they get Silver upgrades from...

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Eep. Metullus is hard core. He is fighting Awesome with Awesome.

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The sally was successful. But like after all my campaigns within this AAR, two years in and i've lost almost all my men. I am not surprised. Unlike the Eastern Wars. It's a bit more serious. I need those experienced men.

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A second advance force is ambushed. This one with Eleet troops.

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Held out. Just! Thank .

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Conan and his Roman troops arrive at whereever that place is.

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Another advance force is beaten. Then subject to things I'm not allowed to directly post but can infer through intreptive dance.

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Pushing North to show everyone how it's really meant to be done.

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Standard Roman army. Alot of hurt.

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Nothing my chariots can't handle. AHAAAA HAAA HAAA

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Erp...Where did they come from. I thought I was winning!!!!!!!!!!! SAKE

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In the face of danger. One much fight.

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HOOOOOOOOOOOOLD

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And I don't know what happened. I havn't loaded the game in a while. I assume I lost since theres no sign of my men...Or an updated province to my sexy collection.

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Berdic reaches Tyde. Another key settlement to victory! One step closer. No Linkin park. Or I will hunt you down and man subdue you.

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A hero Emerges. You have to click it. It makes the AAR more worthwhile. Understanding how important this dude is to my Brahs

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sake. SAKE WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME. They don't want beef with me.

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Mustering what ever men he can against the onslaught.

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This was an enforced withdrawl. Sometimes you know that staying in the fight will loose you more men then a retreat. That was a hard core stack...

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Not good....

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Meanwhile in Spain!

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Theres the Romans I know and love. Not this German breed.

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A year and i'm back where I started. Thats actually quite depressing...I actually am as well. But a Frontier has been established and it's a strong one. Metullus is still around...

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Italy is on fire in comparison. North and Center threatened.

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It all comes to a head. Just like the Seleucids.

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I am the strongest faction in the game. And tantalizingly close to the finish.

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[Gone 2 the Celts]

lolz!!

Loved the brony comment, and the Gaulish Spanish Inquisition

+rep and 1st!!

[Zarax]

Careful, you might get a Hannibal on your arse

[Sekiryutei]

Welcome back to the AAR businees Dr. Jan Itor