Yet again Owen you struck comedic gold. I've been laughing for a good thirty seconds.
Let me set the scene: It is an autumn night. The greek village is all but calm, save for a few loud Italians camping outside the settlement. The Italians, having come for R&R to the beautiful greek countryside having been partying hard. Ever since their arrival they have been watched by greek farmer, by the name of Diez's grandfather. The villagers got on with them quite good: they could sell their surplus goods, such as fresh vegetables and the like at an increased price to the Italians (who even in a foreign land could not go without eating pasta for even a day).
One day however, everything changed. The Italians rode into the city on their red horses, which they called "Ferrari's". They approached the village elder, demanding an audience with (due to the bad dictionary that they brought with them) translated roughly to: I wish an audience with your king!
The elder, knowing the customs of old, decided that the descendants of the ancient kings must be brought. Unfortunatley for our Italians friends, the "village" they had camped in front of was none other than the ruins of Sparta.
The king, (who for some reason beared the name Leonidas) came forth. What is it that you want? - He asked in a furious tone.
Yet again our Italians friends, due to the incompetence of the writers of the dictionary asked instead of: We would like some mineral water and some housing for the night, said instead:
Earth, and water.
Unbeknownst to the Italians, they had just signed their death warrant. The Spartans, who remembered the tales of old, believed the Persians had come back for another round of good old fighting to the death. They threw the Italians into the village well.
The next scene was nearby, in the town restaurant (named Thermopülai) where the Italians asked: (again due to the bad translation) instead of saying: Please give me a fork and spoon, they said something along the lines of: Lay down your weapons!
To which the answer was: Molon labe! - Come and take them.
The next night the greeks descended upon the Italian encampment, armed with Haplon shields and spears, like their ancestors of old, they forced the Italians into a cave where they started killing them, however the Italians were saved when the nearby authorities, who were just putting up signs near the village: WARNING THIS VILLAGE CONTAINS DANGEROUS, VIOLENT GREEKS (EVEN MORE THAN THE ATHENIANS) found the Italians and rescued them.
Well atleast that scenario played in my head reading that comment.
Edit: Diez has answered the question. Blast. They should seriously start making a show where they take Persian tourists to Sparta, just for the fun of it.
One of the few times I did laugh alone in front of my pc!