All-Out Preparation and Strategic Planning for Operation: Getting the Girl!

[Fight!]

Operation: Get the Girl

So there's this girl, far beyond the levels of ordinary girls. She is as attractive as they come, and her voice makes me melt. She is the only women I have fallen in love with solely for looks and voice, I just can't help it. But a medley of obstacles lie between me and my prize, most of which are probably common in all the threads of similar purpose. Rather than sum them all up for you, I'm going to have to delve into this story, so please bear with me.

It all start four years ago in the seventh grade. She had been in the same middle school as me even in the sixth, but I had not had the fortune to see her until that year. We hung out with similar cliques, but her popularity was still rather higher than mine. We shared two classes, in which I struggled to keep my eyes off her. The whole year I tried to psyche myself up to ask her out, and before the last school dance I did just that. Failure. This was far from unforeseeable given my appearances. At the time, I had yet to master my lazy eye, so I was almost certainly cross-eyed, I was incredibly scrawny, my teeth crooked, my cowlick was out of control, my nose protrusive, and my face far from smooth. It took me a while to recover, though I dreamed of the day when I would change myself to fit her liking and successfully ask her out in spite of my attempts to get over her.

As stated, it has been four years. I have attained an excellent athletic build, my braces are due to be off this summer, I am currently on an acne drug (Accutane/Isotrenoin) due to finish in 4-5(?) months, I have mastered my lazy eye, and my cowlick has weakened. My odds have significantly improved in the physical sense. Yet new and devastating problems have arisen. Sometime during our freshman years, we both happened to switch cliques. She joined that which is considered the pinnacle of popularity, the immortal and revered Populars. The ambiguous meaning of the word popular prevents me from calling myself such, I am an integral member of the "Anime Freaks", the zoo-plankton of the school's ecosystem, the bottom of the food chain, one of the least popular cliques in the history of cliques. When people walk by our group, they see three semi-groups consisting of Yugioh-playing, Chess Playing, and people running around screaming. It's THAT bad. And when I'm not in the group, I'm in Improv Club (a theatre club centered around improvisation), also consisting of unpopulars. Any attempts to join her clique or try to befriend her prior to asking her out are out of the question because of this.

What's more, her intelligence has...degraded, since middle school; no offense to her. I am revered among my fellow Juniors as well as acquainted Seniors and Sophomores as one of the smartest. I belong to the aforementioned Chess sub-group, and am known to ace tests without study nor do I nearly any of my homework; though I suspect my intelligence and/or academic scenario is met by many in TWC, and am head and shoulders above those I know in the real world as well as many teachers. Now you see, Intelligence and lack of intelligence don't quite work well together, if I use words that are too big or start discussing the things I discuss in the D&D then my chances drop significantly on the spot. Before I do ask her out, I need to get to know her interests, otherwise I'll end up boring her to death.

In terms of experience: I have none. I have never had a girlfriend. That's not to say I haven't kissed, because I've done that on numerous occasions, but I have no dating experience whatsoever. She, at the very least, has dated one person for 6+ months. And judging by how many guys have asked her out, she almost certainly dated more after her first boyfriend. Similarly, I need to know the right way to ask someone out. I'm currently 0 for 1, so I wouldn't know how to ask someone out the right way.

Now that it's safe to summarize, I need help primarily in the following areas: dating advice, advice concerning how to ask someone out the right way, advice on what I could/should improve about myself before doing so, advice on how to get to know her before dating her, advice on the little things, advice on the big things, advice on the seemingly obvious things, advice are the scarcely known things, advice on unmentioned things, et cetera.

Please help a fellow TWC forumite in need

[Claudius Gothicus]

Leave the girl alone man, once you got her in your arms you will be screaming for some freedom.

[hellheaven1987]

Sounds like Hitler's battleplan for Battle of Bulge... Lets hope it would not fail...

[PacSubCom]

medley of obstacles

Obstacles don't exist.

I dreamed of the day when I would change myself to fit her liking

That's false. It has nothing to do with her.

Yet new and devastating problems have arisen.

Problems don't exist.

the pinnacle of popularity, the zoo-plankton

Irrelevant.

her intelligence has...degraded

I am revered as one of the smartest

Before I do ask her out, I need to get to know her interests,

No you don't.

She, at the very least, has dated one person for 6+ months. And judging by how many guys have asked her out, she almost certainly dated more after her first boyfriend.

Irrelevant.

how to ask someone out the right way.

I think it is called "speaking" or "language".

all-out preparation and strategic planning

Not worth it. The only plan: DO IT NOW.

[DekuTrash]

Wowza, you're looking into this way to much. There is only one thing you can do, ASK HER OUT and let everything else happen.

[Fight!]

Well it will be a while before school starts, so I might as well prepare and get some dating advice eh?

[elfdude]

This is a classic case of two people separated by class. However I'm afraid that you don't seem to love her you seem to idolize her and are entirely infatuated with her. You are better off going for someone who you have things in common with, most notably intelligence as that's a huge obstacle for anything more than a one night stand. From your post I can tell you really like this girl but you laid out the obstacles you face yourself.

Quite simply asking her out will not work. You will not be able to make a dramatic gesture of love and melt her heart because she doesn't see you. You aren't on her radar. In order to get on that radar you must talk, you must converse, you must keep both of your moods happy and playful, you need to flirt to gauge her feelings and whether a relationship is even a possibility. If you make a dramatic gesture you're likely to scare her away and will attract (more) insults from your peers.

Highschool romances are spurious and fickle. They tend to be shallow and they rarely bud into anything more than a physical relationship. There is no relationship without relationship depth and I don't foresee you having any depth of relationship. You must have interests in common, you must be able to appeal to her, you're not only in two different worlds but it seems like you don't have the slightest clue which world she's in besides a rather vague notion of 'popular'. That tells you nearly nothing about her character. You like her voice, a lot of women and men alike have siren voices. You think she's beautiful, there's a lot of beautiful people out there.

Quite simply the way you two are right now it's absolutely impossible unless she's already attracted to you which is again unlikely. Even if she does judge you as attractive in passing it's dubious her social inhibitions will allow her to simply jump into a relationship. Befriending her is not an impossibility but having a relationship without befriending her is.

So operation get the girl involves this:
1. Attract her attention, don't be conceited and don't be a show off but she needs to associate something with you.

2. Start a conversation, this is fairly simple and can involve any number of icebreakers, the weather, the class, literally anything you probably have in common.

3. Progress your conversing with her, get to know her but don't be intrusive, ask open ended questions rather than specific ones, they'll both give you more information to work off of and they will keep her from thinking you're a stalker

4. Use jokes and playful happiness to influence her mood, keep your moods mutually high. If you make a mistake don't focus on it or allow yourself to become awkward.

5. Flirt. You must flirt to gage her interest in you, if you don't you're literally shooting in the dark. Use double entendres to cage your flirtations at first, if she seems to withdraw from them that's a good sign that she doesn't want to flirt (yet) use the alternate meaning of your words to form a joke allowing yourself a convenient way to reduce tension and take back words.

6. Match her intensity. This is key, if they don't give you any intensity coming at them aggressively will only drive them away. You can up the ante incrementally as she begins to flirt back and your relationship progresses but don't move too fast and make sure she moves to the same level before you progress.

7. If you've managed to keep your moods mutually high, attracted her attention, mutually flirt and joke and you both look forward to each other's presence you can make your move. Keep it fairly innocent at first, do mutual activities together, as you progress she'll give you hints when to make more moves, pay attention to these hints because they can be ridiculously subtle.

That is the best method to achieve your goal. You don't think it can be done but unfortunately it will have to be. If anxiety is holding you back you'll need to conquer that as well. Women are very empathetic and they tend to emulate the emotions of people around them (why it's important to keep moods good). The anxiety will never go away completely because you'll always care a little bit about rejection but other men either learn to deal with it or hide it.

That's my two cents, take it or leave it.

[Fight!]

Thank you very much, I suppose I'll have to work on this from a different angle than I thought I would.

By the way, what are double entendres? I think I get the basic idea, but no more than that.

[elfdude]

Thank you very much, I suppose I'll have to work on this from a different angle than I thought I would.

By the way, what are double entendres? I think I get the basic idea, but no more than that.

Something you say that can have two meanings. For example if you said something that was a sexual innuendo it could be interpreted sexually however because it's an innuendo it could also have been literal from the other party's perception. If they react negatively to the sexual connotation you can quickly turn it into a joke by choosing the literal definition and pretending to be innocent.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double_entendre

Basically you're using the understood meaning of words and the connotations you can put on them against each other so that the literal meaning is divorced from the connotative meaning that most would recognize. This is great for flirting because you can play innocent and absolve yourself of wrongdoing and maybe even get a laugh or two depending on how you play it.

Here's some information on: impressing girls; flirting; more general flirting adivce; general initiating and flirting adivce; more advice.

Hope that helps!

[Freddie]

Don't place her on a pedestal as if she is some almighty goddess because when you go to speak to her your going to sound wusy which is a big turn off for girls. Play it cool as if it's her that's going to be the winner if she goes out with you rather then the other way around, crack a joke or two get her smiling then pop the question but don't dither you must be clinical and confidant. If she is as beautiful as you say she is then she will get hit on by a lot other guys so you have to stand out a bit.

If your nervous around girls it might pay you chat to girls who you don't fancy and she how it goes in a sort of trial run so to speak.

[Saturn]

You're thinking way too hard about this...

[Freddie]

Not only that the guy sounds like he's mad about her which leaves me concerned on how he might take possible rejection or if the date goes badly. I took a girl out about a month ago and she was fine and perfectly normal but the date was really awkward and the next day I wanted to bust my head into a wall because of how stupid I was god help me if I really liked her.