The Critic's Quill: Issue 17

**Juvenal** · March 31, 2010, 07:40 AM

Letter from the Editor
Dear Readers, welcome to another issue of the Critic's Quill. It may have been a little while in coming, but I hope you will agree that it is packed with goodness! We have an interview with the legendary Chirurgeon, there are more reviews of notable AARs and a couple of special reports. We have delved into the Creative Writing section to give you a taste for the incredible variety of stories there. We even reach back beyond the dawn of creation to bring belated, but deserved, publicity the winners of the Scriptorium Halloween writing competition!

As always, the opinions expressed in this publication are the personal ones of the writers. Should you feel the need to take us to task, or simply want to comment on the reviews, then please post in this thread. If we have made any errors of fact, they will definitely be corrected.

We hope you enjoy this issue...

From the Editor, Juvenal

Table of Contents

Interview Section

An Interview with Chirurgeon by... Ariovistus Maximus

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

Hey forum!

For this issue, I managed to get ahold of a top-notch writer for some tips! Chirurgeon, my victim, (

) is fairly new to the TWC. I actually recognized him from the totalwar.org, where he is quite the prolific writer. As a matter of fact, my own meager efforts were inspired partly by his work! I've taken quite a few tips just from reading his AARs.

Chirurgeon kindly agreed to an interview, despite a busy schedule. Take a look, and take some notes while you're at it.

Tell us a little bit about yourself. When/how did you start writing?
Well to be honest I started writing as a teenager... I am 33 now. I had a wild imagination and started putting things down on paper and eventually came up with a fantasy world with maps and everything. Maybe one day I will revisit it and write a fabulous tale.

My first AAR was for a website called Strategic Command Center. I wrote an AAR called "A line of Kings" based on the French Monarchy for MTW2. Sometime around then I discovered Europa Barbarourum and their incredible community. I have always liked ancient history the most so after lurking for a while I began writing AARs there. I have written four AARs based on various factions using the EB mod.

It is a joy for me to write because I know that I provide something for someone to enjoy. I don't always have time to do it just right but in the world of AAR writing nothing ever goes just right. One of the challenges is that you have to constantly adjust based on the game turns.

When did you get involved with the Total War series?
My first total war game was RTW vanilla.

What do you think about the relationship between the game/mod and the story?
Some people like to stick to history but I like to let the game determine the story. It's more interesting and challenging. For example in one of my AARs I was following the line of Ptolemies in Egypt. When the last one died I ended my AAR. I find that I do not use the victory conditions or the end date of the game as a determining factor. Sometimes I will follow one person. Or an entire family. I tend to balance events in the game with events centric to the person that is involved with everything. I think it is important to humanize things.

Are there other writers that inspire your own work?
Yes there are a number of authors that inspire me. I have a routine for writing my AARS to lend more credence to what I am doing. The first thing I do before writing a new AAR is start doing research. In EB I wrote a AAR on Carthage. Well I started by gathering as much historical information as possible and framed the situation with a real life situation. In the case of my AAR "The Sands of Africa", I followed the life of a senator's son. I researched basic information about geography, major political situations, military, and anything else. I managed to find a great book called Hannibal by Ross Leckie that inspired that AAR. The tidbits and nuance was enough fodder to start my AAR. It is one of my proudest works to be honest. I hold myself to "The Sands of Africa" standard.

Theodotus also has been an inspiration for his pure writing ability and Marcus Aurelius Antonius inspired me because of his continual persistance and sheer size of his AARs. Both of these guys kept me going. Our AARs were always at the top of the page because we had a good camaraderie with each other

What are some things that your really enjoy about writing?
I enjoy the journey of writing. There is a euphoria that comes when your fingers are flying across the keys and you can close your eyes and see what it is that you are writing about. Right down to the smallest detail. Setting is a very important element for me in writing and once I have the setting/environment/situation I let loose the characters as I imagine them and let them go. It generally results in great satisfaction when reading it later.

What do you think makes AARs unique?
I think AARs are made unique by the constantly changing dynamics of a game you dont know whats going to happen next. it makes it challenging and fun all the same

Any tips for beginners?
Do your research. Have a goal in mind and stick with it.

If it becomes laborious and not enjoyable then its not for you.

Writing can be tough to keep up amidst a full schedule. How do you deal with time constraints?
I set aside time each evening for AAR stuff. But I also take time off like right now.

Most excellent! Thanks Chirurgeon for your time! I do believe we can just make it to the press for the upcoming issue. I trust your perspective will be encouraging for our writers on the TWC.

And that was the interview! I would definitely suggest that you give Chirurgeon's work a read. For one thing, it is great stuff that really pulls you in; his AAR's make for fantastic reading. Also, if you're a writer yourself, I've found that reading other people's work is a great learning method.

Two of Chirurgeon's completed/in-progress AAR's can be found here on the TWC:
Osman's Vision
Journey of the Hellenes

The others are hosted at the .Org:
The Sands of Africa
The Indomitable Nile
Iberia Rising
The Puniceus Paludamentum

Unfortunately, I cannot yet personally recommend each of his AAR's, as I have not managed to read them all. However, just to add my two cents, "Iberia Rising" was a phenomenal story. I learned one of my biggest lessons from that story: not to be predictable, to try something that no one has done before. In short, I learned about the art of plot twists.

I do my best to reflect that lesson in my own AAR, and that in particular has been a big help to me.

But now it is late, and we all have much, much reading to do. Enjoy!

AAR Review Section

I am Skantarios!
A Stainless Steel AAR by Skantarios

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

Let me begin by stating that the Byzantine Empire is my favorite faction of Medieval II Total War and every mod that has been produced about it. This doesn’t mean however that I love every AAR about them, in fact I’m overly critical when it comes to Byzantine AARs. You can end up on my black list if you fail to produce a good and solid piece. Skantarios however has no need to become worried(as if he ever would be

).

Skantarios is a newcomer to the AAR forums. The AAR I’m about to review is his first. In his AAR he tells the story about a young Byzantine prince(who becomes emperor as the story progresses) who goes around by the name of Skantarios. This character tries to relive the glory that once was the Byzantine empire, either by conquest or diplomacy. The story is presented as an autobiographic diary of the man in which he tells us, the readers, everything about his rise to power and his attempts to expand it. The actions of Skantarios dominate the story but that doesn’t mean that the actions of others are being neglected. The battles fought by generals and captains other then Skantarios are presented as letters addressed to the emperor, who in turn copies them in to his diary.

One of the most difficult tasks that lays in choosing this writing style is to make sure that the story doesn’t get one sided and dull. But fear not, Skantarios achieves to maintain a fresh AAR that counters these obstacles. It’s an enjoy to read which is partly because of the role of the emperor Skantarios. Because the man is emperor he has to stress about literally everything. Stress that fills page after page of his diary. Every time there is a new challenge or a new enemy, as a result the story is very dynamic and diverse. For instance, chapter A’s subject is the Muslim Jihad and assault of Constantinople but chapter B follows the tale of the German campaign. What also must be addressed is that Skantarios fills some of his updates with small mini notes that give some extra touch to the story, in one of his latest updates for example the main character has conquered the holy city of Mecca from the Muslims, what follows is a short yet sweet description about the aftermath and the conclusion in which the most holy Muslim place is destroyed! The story is filled with these kind of twists and because of the exceptional writing skills of the author(which must be mentioned as well) you feel like you are standing there, right beside the emperor as he is dictating his diary to you. Though I might make you think it is but the story isn’t all about warfare. Family intrigues and diplomacy, a feature that is forgotten in most other AARs, are widely spread as well.

Another compliment I have to make is that the man plays the game as a true pro. He achieves victory with armies that I can only dream of. Though these victories are thrilling when achieved in a early game, I fear that they won’t have the expected impact in a late game, when the human player has grown to such an extent that none can stand against him. But that’s to be seen, history has told us that the ordinary people loves a victor, so perhaps Skantarios is spared the cruel fate I fear.

However I also have to make one very small point of criticism. The only thing I don’t like about this story is that some sieges are fought dozens of times over. We’ve seen approximately twenty battles of Constantinople so far and all were victorious, and even though it’s flattering that the author takes so much time to tell us everything, I think that a small footnote is sufficient rather then a whole battle update. It saves a lot of time, time that can be used on new frontiers.

Despite this I still have to say that the story rates 9 out of 10 and truly deserved the victory in the MAARC last month. The depth that Skantarios has given to it, combined with the writing technique and style that comes along with it makes me say that we are dealing with a classic in the making. I do hope however that when Skantarios dies(he’s in his fifties atm!), crown prince Vasileios, Benedek or any other will make a new record so that the story will be continued, for I don’t want to see this go away in the near future!

Yes Skantarios, you’ve hooked this Byzantine fan

! Kudos!

Review by Kallum von Döbeln

Great Britain Expands the Empire
An ETW AAR by samsmithnz

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

Story
Delving into the annals of July 2009 for this review, this somewhat unknown AAR is the story of King William III and the expansion of the British Empire under his rule in the 1700's. The author of this tale begins with a nice little back story about the Empire and the King and makes a small reference to the real world history of Great Britain; always a welcome authentic touch to any AAR. The writer sets down some easily achievable goals within a certain time frame and makes reference to the 'State of the Nation', a report that will feature in every chapter. I personally felt this was a great little bit of detail added by the author, a way in which to express the drab and boring faction information details in a new and entertaining way; bonus points for creativity on his part. A lot of AAR's don't seem to have a clear direction or objectives that the author wants to achieve so it is refreshing to see it all laid out in the open with this story. Right from the outset of this AAR, you are taken on a fast pace journey of the Empire, with the author explaining a few ideas and his plans of attack and expansion of colonies. The author makes it clear he is heading for India to establish a beachhead and begin sending those rich trade goods home to England. The author doesn't really use much tact or preamble in telling the reader this, one could believe it is the logical step for the Empire but a more well developed story and reasons to colonise India would have added to the depth and immersion of the AAR.

Writing Style
The writing takes the form of narration. It is as if the writer is speaking in the past tense, events are described and plans are made with a cold and undulating tone. There seemed to be a lack of emotion or emotive writing present in the AAR, something that can really attract the readers and keep them interested. However the author does do a good job of describing characters in the AAR, people like ship Captains and Generals are believable and the reader gets a sense of knowing whenever they see them described. After a time you can feel that these progressive characters are important figures in the story and you know their history. The author does a good job of keeping them in the story and sticking to known characters, rather than just make up a new person every time something happens. It is a bit disappointing that the author wasn't able or chose not to add some more emotion into the story. It is hard to find some of the author in his writing as the cold detached style doesn't change throughout the AAR and in my opinion is necessary for an author to effectively capture and keep his readers. For example:

In 1719, an elusive Prussian Armada was seen in the North Sea, and within range of Admiral Peter Scarisbrook's fleet. Sails were immediately set to full, and England attacked. Prussia had 14 ships in their fleet, but 8 were trade ships and 4 were so small they only carried 2 cannons each. Admiral Scarisbrook had 4 brigs and 2 trade ships. He ordered the trade ships to sail back to England to stay out of harms way, but they couldn't sail away fast enough before the battle started.

An event like this could have been written with some dialogue between the Captain and his First Mate or something of that sort. Instead of only focusing on the Captain, introduce a few new characters just for this battle in which to develop a sort of story. Instead of just presenting the details and how it went down, keep your readers in the dark somewhat and make them read on with suspense building all the time. The writing in general lacks drama and suspense, something that is an integral part of keeping people hooked on an AAR.

Images
The use of images is prolific throughout the entirety of the AAR. Almost every sequence of events is precluded by pictures of the campaign or action battle shots. Usually this many pictures in an AAR really detracts from the story and turns away readers but in this case, the narrative tone of the writing and images complement and add to each other. As previously mentioned, the writing style is that of narration so accompanying pictures that depict the events being described works well here and does well to bring some of the writing to life. The author has managed to not only give us very detailed reports but great close up action shots to go with them. Take these for example:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

While the accompanying dialogue may not contain anything but a short description of the events taking place, images like these ones do well to draw the reader in and give them an idea of what is happening in the battle. The more you involve the reader the more popular your AAR; and this writer shows that excellent writing is not the only way to success, dazzling images can also play a big part and sometimes are the best way to draw attention to the events taking place.

Critique
In critiquing this AAR I have to say that it appealed to my personal taste. I'm not much of a story-teller myself so this sort of descriptive narration that is fairly story-light but detail heavy is a simple and laid out style that I can appreciate. The majority of the readers though seem to prefer a more story driven AAR with deep character development and interesting twists and turns. Unfortunately for those readers, this AAR doesn't deliver on that front. The story is delivered without much surprise and as I mentioned before there is no real drama or suspense, events happen as they do but they are well described and extremely detailed, for those who love the small details and a logical procession of a campaign, you will be most pleased with this AAR.

Summary
In conclusion, a very well written AAR that doesn't have a lot in the way of a story but is very descriptive and well thought out. The author is a talented narrator and any reader shouldn't be disappointed with what is on offer here, while some elements like plot and character development would have been welcome here each AAR is unique in it's makeup and every author has their own preference.

Review by Saint Nicholas

Látomásai Királyok! - Visions of the Kings
A Sicilian Vespers AAR by Beer Money

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

Story
Another epic tale from the esteemed writer Beer Money, Visions of Kings is the latest story about a small Hungarian principality and a small royal family. Their goals are the creation of a new powerful eastern empire, one which could rival the power of the great Eastern Roman Empire. Beer Money does a good job of introducing us to the main characters that will play major parts in our story and sets some easily achievable goals. Right from the outset you can see the skill in which the author tells the story and sets about campaigning. Apparently there are rebel Bohemians taxing Hungarian merchants and citizens in the nearby cities and they need to be dealt with and absorbed into the empire. This is the sort of story telling that we should come to expect from the author, he has an innate skill of making up anything and everything but making it all believable. Such creative writing is just fantastic to read and really interests the reader, whetting their appetite and leaving them wanting more.

Writing Style
As previously seen by this writer, his excellent sentence structure, emotive language and accurate descriptions persist in his latest instalment. There is a clear plot and direction in the story and writing, with few if any spelling mistakes and an easy to read layout. Gone is that unattractive brown text, replaced with an easily readable black. It is clear that Beer Money has still got it, this extract for example:

Laszlo and his buchers left no man alive. Fritz was later found dead among the rabble which annoyed the king. He had hoped to give the Bohemian leader a much more fitting ending.

"Gratz is ours! Let the people here know they are Bohemians no longer but fly under the flag of the great Magyrok and Kiraly Laszlo!" The cheers were immediate.

is a true testament to the skill of the writer. This small section of story tells us all the details we want to know in a short and concise manner. The reader gets a real insight into the mind of Laszlo and the lengths he is prepared to go to attain victory. As always a nice little general speech accompanies a battle victory which is a much welcome personal touch that is a signature trademark of this writer. This example:

"Father the Croats inspire rebellion here." Kalman is unsure how to handle this quandry as the locals resist falling under the yoke of Hungary.

Ignoring his son, the king addresses his general, "Istvan, why have you been unable to cure what ails my empire?" The king is upset that his time with the Polish princess was cut short for this. Getting no answer from Istvan he now turns to Kalman and smites his son. "Son! You fought admirably to take this city, you must be ruthless in order to keep it!"

is also a very well put together section of dialogue between three of our main protagonists, Istvan, Kiraly and his son Kalman. The reader can feel the emotion and anger in the King's voice as he scolds his son, taking him to task over being unable to destroy the Croatians and letting rebels roam free throughout the fledgling Kingdom. The author is also talented at including progressive events that make sense and continue to come and go throughout the story. Characters are much affected by a death in the family or the loss of a great general, but they are also filled with joy and feel the glory when they win a decisive battle, the author does a great job of communicating these feelings to the readers through his emotive and embellished writing.

Images
I've said it before and I'll say it again, the images that Beer Money uses in his AAR's complement his story telling oh so well. Look at this picture:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

To me that screenshot just screams powerful, the accompanying dialogue is especially so. It is clear Beer Money has quite a talent in attaching pictures to his writing or vice versa. Less is definitely more, no long winded spiels or overly descriptive text here, just to the point and strong clear writing.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

Another great example of the powerful scenes that the author shows us, this one in particular reminds me of the battle of Helms Deep. Brave men standing fast on the walls, the last defence of man or in this case Hungary. Really you don't even need any writing to accompany this picture, it tells its own story, limited only by your imagination.

Critique
This AAR is just as good if not better than Beer Money's previous epics. It appears that he has taken previous advice into account and improved on his AAR since then. Gone is the hard to read text and mismatch format, replaced by clear dark text colour and a clearly defined format and presentation. As always the story is great and thrilling, the reader is all but caught up in the whirlwind conquests of Kiraly and his kin. There is truly nothing more I can recommend to this author, he is a steam engine going full speed ahead, nothing can stop this man!

Summary
Another fantastical story from Mr. Beer Money here, readers of all ages and persuasions will be enthralled with this latest offering. The writing is great, the story is believable and filled with deep character development and plot lines. The images are presented in small snapshots and small excerpts of attached text are as good as the pictures themselves. A great read for everyone of all ages and sizes.

Review by Saint Nicholas

Liberation, A British AAR
An NTW AAR by Luckylewis

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

Background
The run-up to the launch of NTW has been particularly interesting at TWC. Few of us were anticipating anything ground-breaking, while many carried over their disappointment with ETW in the form of predictions of gloom, doom and betrayal from CA. But when NTW did appear, there was a massive collective sigh of relief from the assembled multitude. It appeared that any improvement in the ETW experience was sufficient for NTW to be hailed as a success.

I must admit that I was also caught up in the mood, I scoured the boards seeking video footage and looking for opinions that might be based on fact rather than prejudice. This is how I discovered Luckylewis's AAR. Actually, in the beginning it wasn't an AAR at all, just a thread reporting an interesting late-game development (very few players had ever reached late-game at that point). Anyway, since its accidental beginning, the AAR has grown in popularity until it now has more views than my own, which has been running a year and a half!

So, without further prevarication, I present to you a story of Britain truly-alone against the might of Napoleonic France!

Story
Something I have always feared about the coming of NTW and its AARs has been the tension between game and history. This has of course always existed, but my relative ignorance of the Ancient and Medieval worlds has cushioned me to a large extent. It may seem odd to be worried about historical accuracy in an account of alternative history based on a game, but this is an emotional reaction, immune to rational thought. I need plausibility in order to properly suspend my disbelief and enjoy the story.

Anyway, Luckylewis gives us a fine introduction of events leading up to the start of the AAR. And it certainly does need explaining, because Napoleon has conquered most of Europe, knocking out all the major Coalition powers except Britain. The mini-map looks like it has been dipped in blue paint, with just a few non-French territories on the periphery of the continent. The author also kindly provides links to all of his episodes in the opening post, a splendid idea, especially with the thread being so popular, and hence filled with the posts of well-wishers.

Because this is a campaign of liberation, Britain is not acquiring territories on the Continent, but instead recreating the minor powers that the French had conquered earlier in the game. This actually helps with credibility for me, since the idea of Napoleonic Britain carving out a European Empire would strike a distinctly discordant note with my understanding of the period.

There are a lot of battles, but unlike Total War battles of old, they mostly involve allied armies which gives added spice and provides a real showcase for the great variety of colours and uniform styles of Napoleonic Europe.

The early stages of the war of liberation go well, British seapower giving it the ability to project its armies anywhere along the Atlantic cost of Europe. But as the network of liberated Allied states becomes established, Britain finds itself stretched thin trying to support them all against increasingly strong French forces returning from their recent conquest of Russia. Soon we really start to feel that Britain has a fight on its hands.

Writing Style
The story focusses on the British campaign of liberation. Battles are marked by beautiful little montages of screenshots, presented like a series of frames on a roll of film. Initially the battles themselves are not described in detail.

Here is a sea battle from the early campaign.

Spoiler for Sea Battle (Haarlem 1810):

However, in response to popular demand, Lucky Lewis starts describing battles in increasing detail later in the AAR. Here is the second so described, the epic battle of Stuttgart.

Originally Posted by Battle of Stuttgart 1811

The Snow had finally melted as Wellington and his men headed into former Württemberg lands, the garrison of Stuttgart, some 4000 men under Jean Victor Marie Moreau approached Wellington in order to meet him on the outskirts of the city itself. The British Forces observing Moreau's move, quickly took positions in the surrounding buildings, awaiting the counter-offensive by the French army.

French Cannons bombarded the British lines, severely weakening the right flank of Dutch regiments as the Cannons balls shattered through the men. A French line formed, under heavy fire from the British howitzers, and advanced towards Wellington's position. Meanwhile, French forces had begun to attack those in the small settlement to the left of the British army, several units of Highlanders and Line Infantry bravely held back the much superior French force, taking position within the narrow streets and surrounding farmhouses. However, the French Young Guard and several dragoons continued to fire upon the British deployed within the settlement, leading to the massacre of some 100 men in a small farmhouse to the far left. The British lines were breached, Line Infantry fled, leading to the 40th Foot Infantry only remaining standing and opposing Moreau's army next to the settlement's church.

As the battle continued in the open fields further right of Wellington's army, The 1st Cold Stream Grenadiers, quickly mobilised and adjusted their position in order to help the struggling 40th Foot Infantry. The Cold Stream Grenadiers charged dramatically into the French Lines, reinforcing the British position, leading to the retreat of the entire French Army from the battlefield, all due to the decisive charge by the Cold Stream Regiment. If they had failed, the British right flank would have been destroyed, opening a massive hole in the Wellington's army, and perhaps even defeat.

Spoiler for Stuttgart pictures:

Eventually he is even including maps to show the evolution of the later battles.

The writing is utilitarian, its purpose being to describe the events of the campaign as if they might have actually happened without actually saying “I moved this army then fought the subsequent battle by giving these orders” etc. Of course by doing this, we miss out on game-play tips and what his thinking was when deciding upon strategy. Of course the big advantage of an unadorned style is that Luckylewis has been able to treat us to an update every couple of days, stuffed full of yet more gorgeous screen-shots of NTW in action.

Critique
I loved the rather quaint way that Luckylewis always gives the full names of the opposing generals for each battle.

Like his readership, I really wanted to know more about the battles, but although Luckylewis did eventually give in to pressure and provide them, I am still in two minds as to whether it was right for him to do so. The fact is that the AAR has evolved in the writing, becoming more ambitious in scope as it progressed. The change of balance has led to the AAR consisting now largely of a succession of battle descriptions, with the campaign itself becoming less prominent.

This is a problem I have encountered in my own writing, it is immensely difficult to strike the perfect balance when writing in episodes. But I think that, given the speed and productivity of this AAR, it is unreasonable to expect it to have the coherence and global structure of a planned work of fiction.

Luckylewis often mixes his tenses and sometimes make grammatical errors, a bit of proof-reading would quickly fix this kind of problem, but probably only at the expense of increasing the interval between updates.

The campaign narrative is a purely military one, there isn't any characterisation or back-story. However, with NTW newly-released, this kind of account is probably exactly what most readers want. It provides a surrogate game experience for those still trying to decide whether to buy the game.

Conclusion
I have found this AAR quite charming. It has no pretensions to be a work of literary genius, and it doesn't really have a story (apart from that of playing the British campaign). But nevertheless it possesses dynamism, we the readers identify with the British and want them to succeed in their campaign. The pictures are really quite gorgeous and the whole AAR actually make rather a good advertisement for NTW, so much so that some readers have been publicly agonising with themselves about whether to change their mnds and buy the game, just based on this AAR!

Review by Juvenal

The Glory of Ostermark
A Call of Warhammer AAR by Thokran

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

Why Did I Pick This?
When I was browsing the Writers Study I found this little gem. My first attraction to it was its unique name, I didn’t even know this modification existed (rather ignorantly) and was pleasantly surprised not only by the rarity of such a vibrantly themed AAR, but also the writing ability of its Author, Thokran. As my first review of any AAR I wanted something original & enticing, I feel I chose well.

I carried on reading because, though it took a few minutes to truly get into it I found myself reading without having my mind wander off, nor was I interrupted by constant abnormalities in the writing because the text is seamless. Its amazing how little things can ruin an AAR, but for me, only the most miniscule details could pose any small threat to my engagement in the text. The final persuasion for me was that near the start of reading I already felt the need to download the mod, I definitely plan to do so as the AAR has painted it in a very bright light.

What Is It About?
Thokran gives us a prologue which basically tells us what he wants to achieve but by no means how he will achieve it. We learn that Count Wolfram Hertwig, ruler of Ostermark is a ‘very important figure in the realm of Humanity’ and almost instantly we get an incite of the troubles he faces, such as opposing races (green skinned orcs & barbaric savages) who wish to ‘strike out against the Empire’.

The Prologue sheds light on what Wolfram wants to do, his motives are a formed effort to gain repute and respect, Wolfram wants to be seen as a ruler of a dynasty, not of ‘simpleton farmers‘, this theme is continued as the prologue ends and is demonstrated through a nearby rebel settlement refusing to accept the sovereignty of the Elector Count. This gives the AAR a short term purpose (gaining control of Grenzburg) as well as a long term goal (becoming a reputable figure), so that we can delve straight into the deep end as chapter one starts. The prologue serves as a brief, which readies us for the trials ahead.

As I had never played this Mod before I was walking on foreign territory but the Author guides us through his interpretation of the story incredibly well, we can extract a lot from the prologue, aside from what is already mentioned the AAR is about Wolfram’s family members and advisers also, he can hardly create a dynasty on his own now can he? The early contrast displayed between his two sons, the favoured chivalrous atheist, ‘Gottfried’ and the unfavourable angry yet religious ‘Nicholas’ gives suggestion to an interesting future plot between the two.

Gottfried manages to take Grenzburg and his prestige increases with it, as the AAR progresses even small details show his higher standing over Nicholas, such as bodyguard size (12 for Gottfried, 6 for Nicholas), Fatherly preference (babbles onto Gottfried, Ignores Nicholas). Which leads to Nicholas deserting his army. However, Wolfram seems more concerned with his ’dynasty’ as a whole than his son, which interlinks with his Power-Hungary desires. The AAR continues with large battles and Dilemmas presented by the aggressive Chaos, as well as Orcs & Goblins, who try to overwhelm Ostermark as they do quite early on to the Principality of Ostland (a fellow imperial province) amongst other nations.

Writing
The text is in a 3rd person narrative mostly which gives us a fairly broad view of what is happening. Thokran is an accomplished writer, the battle scenes in particular are very engaging, he uses terminology applicable to the game he’s writing about, such as ‘green skins’ in reference to orcs. His descriptions of battles are detailed and pleasing in many other ways by giving description of both his own and his opponents actions on the battlefield.

Small Extract at the Start of a chaos Invasion:

‘The armies of Khorne seem to delight in the bloodshed of their comrades, watching them fall as Michel leads a charge against the unarmored marauders, cutting down a great slew of them. But the blood only drives the army forth with further determination. Michel is horrified to see Nasu’s men pick up speed rather than slow down against the torrential rain of arrows. He orders a withdrawal of his archers as he and his infantry prepare to hold the line.’

Moving on, we get little profound moments in the writing which explore a different part of the characters emotions. In the case below, it almost makes us believe this person is real, the Author captures the emotions of the Imperial general very well, I feel.

Small Extract at the start of the battle for Mordheim:

‘General Otto Windeck dreamed. He dreamed of a dark, cloudy sky and of pouring rain. He dreamed of mud, of blood, and of smoke. He dreamed of fearsome beasts that stood in his way, their axes glinting in the light. He dreamed of walls crumbling, and of flames erupting. And he dreamed of glory. Of victory. Of heroism. He dreamed of the fall of Mordheim. Sadly, that was all it was for the moment: a dream.’

Use of complex language gives the story sophistication, but isn’t used excessively which avoids confusion, a structure is used in many scenarios in the battles, usually starting with breaking down a cities walls, flooding through them and then having a bloody fight, however the praise being that Thokran manages to make each unique in some way or another. For example, the battle over Nachtdorf and Mordheim have the structure described above, yet in the siege of Nachtdorf an individual fight between Bronzino (Imperial general who took over from Nicholas) and Wodenlega (the orc defenders) is added to distract us from the inevitable generic ‘break down walls then pour in’ battles sieges often succumb to.

The siege of Mordheim breaks the generic structure similarly to Nachtdorf but in yet another different way, it uses 2 generals with 2 different armies to divert attention between outside of the city fighting and inside of the city fighting. The army that blows the gates apart also deals with Ogres that attack them but the army doesn’t enter the city, a reinforcement army does that job instead, even then the slog at the gate isn’t monotonous as fighting on the ramparts takes place as well.

Aesthetics & Grammar
Aesthetically, the smart and reasonably large font makes the writing clear and a comfort on the eye. The Author is also very attentive to his AAR and updates it regularly, showing dedication to what he is writing. However his updates do tend to be quite unpredictable, sometimes updating within 24 hours, and then leaving it over a week until the next update. Grammar is mostly sound, the punctuation used isn’t particularly varied but is always used appropriately. The Author is clearly used to the English language, only occasional double pressing of letters or small spelling blips crop up, his AAR is easy to read because the grammar is very good.

Near the start there is slight confusion as past and present tense is mixed (probably just a small spelling blip?) though I’ve noticed nothing else which could be potentially confusing.

Crossovers of past and present highlighted:

‘he and his people were never regarded as such. The League of Ostermark happened to be one of the outlying border provinces of the Empire. It was a rural expanse of land with very fertile soil. This made the Ostermark a prime real estate for farming, thus providing much of the Empire's food reserves. But the League's focus on agriculture over urban development often leads the rest of the Empire to consider Ostermark as little more than a backwater full of simpleton farmers.’

Pictures
My favourite part of the AAR, despite amazing writing, would be the stunning screenshots we get, battles without pictures in this AAR would be like trifle without jelly, and just like jelly, they really treat the consumer.

A selection of some of the stunning pictures which go along side the writing:

Spoiler for Gallery:

In the third picture the generals face is even replaced with that of the one on his portrait, which not only made me laugh, but also outlines the effort this guy has put into making his story realistic (or as realistic as possible). The fifth picture is very much thanks to the mod itself, but pictures of in game footage like that are hard to find. The eighth picture shows the campaign map, all pictures are without HUD and other out of place features which adds to the realism, the author also crops the pictures down when need be to focus in on particular points (such as picture 3, 8 & 9).

Thokran clearly thrives on having his updates look professional, tidy and whilst I’m on the topic, full of content! It is hard to keep up with the story as the updates take such a long time to read, luckily enough each one is engaging so it is a pleasure rather than a drag. Coming back to the visual side, in game pictures aren’t all that are used, Warhammer pictures are inserted inbetween in game pictures, when comparing them to each other they blend together very well and adds to the real Warhammer look, instead of just one based on the medieval 2 game engine.

One of the only criticisms I could point out from the pictures is that the vast majority are close ups, close up pictures can often be the best, but close up pictures only let us see small parts of a battlefield, meaning some of the action may be missed out. This is mostly redeemed by the fact that so many pictures are took, whilst the AAR isn’t reliant on pictures, they certainly improve it and add to the Warhammer theme undeniably.

Conclusion
Thokran’s developed writing skills, timely use of enriched pictures and professional structured layout makes it one of the best AAR’s I’ve ever read. It is engaging, tries new things where most would do something predictable and covers both campaigning and battles with almost even distribution (biased towards battles a little).

I imagine Thokran puts a lot of effort into this AAR and it shows, there are only very small errors which are mostly drowned out by very large well written well presented pieces of writing. Furthermore in the OP he says:

‘After having a lot of fun playing Warhammer Online and the recent Call of Warhammer mod for Medieval II, I decided to read up on some lore and get a nice AAR going about my latest campaign. I'm not sure exactly how it'll pan out in comparison to other historical AAR's, but I guess that's what makes writing this so exciting! I hope you all enjoy!‘

His love of Warhammer and writing could not be put to better use than in a Warhammer AAR. The two go side by side for this work. He aims that we enjoy his writing, I think he’s accomplished that aim quite well. The AAR isn’t finished yet but he has posted many updates, all of which jam packed, so if you haven’t already had a look, check it out!

Review by Thermal

Article Section

The TWC Creative Writing Section

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

As a reader, you are probably quite familiar with AARs and the Tale of the Week contest. Today we would like to show you a little treasure chest of stories that you may not have come across yet within the labyrinthine complexities of TWC. The Creative Writing area is relatively new, and hasn't yet gotten a lot of publicity on the site, we think the time has come to try to rectify this!

The Great Triumvirate
By Quintus Augustus

A tale of three men who are put to the test.

The story

There were three brothers atop a mountain side. One had lived a life according to god, one had lived a life of rich fortune and greed, and one had lived a life of violence and hate. Their names were unknown. The religious man brought his bible, the rich man brought his gold, and the violent violent man brought his gun.

One day a terrible blizzard struck and they were all stranded, and close to death. The religious man suggested they open the bible and pray, but the other two would not have it. The violent man suggested they go out and shoot an animal for food, but the religious man would not kill, and the rich man was too weak. So the rich man suggested they walk over the mountain where they could buy a way out, but the others said they would die on the walk there.

Then a man appeared to them, dressed in nothing except there was a bright light surrounding him. The violent man was the first to act, shooting at him but the bullet seemed to leave the gun and then disappear. The religious man quickly apologized and asked how the bullet had disappeared. The man replied, “What bullet?” and continued to walk towards them. The man was right; there was no gun or any of sign of where it had gone. The man stopped for a second, and then asked, “I know a safe way out of this mountain, but I require money.” The religious man and the violent man both looked at the rich man, but when he reached into his pockets, there was nothing. So the man continued to walk. The three realized he was giving off tremendous heat, and that they could suddenly not move their legs from that spot. “Wait, what are you doing, if you come closer you’ll burn us!” said one of the men. Then the religious man took out his bible and said, “No wait, I am a man of the faith, and you must be an angel, don’t kill me!” Then the man replied, “Are you so weak as to resort to something you have never seen with your own eyes? That is childlike.” And then the bible turned to dust and they were all left with nothing. The brothers watched in agony as he got ever closer, their skin burning before them and then… it was all gone. Light was everywhere around them and they were spinning. When they stopped the light had gone and the spinning had stopped, but there were no longer three brothers. There was only a baby left; One single baby. The man made of light picked him up, and said, “You are the most perfect human to ever find this earth, if I can call you human. I have freed you from the bonds of this life by taking away the qualities of what you were made from. I know you can hear me and understand. You know what you must do, and do it quickly. You are the one without sin.” The man placed the baby on the mountain and ordered the storm away, and then he was gone. Exactly what happened to the baby and who he grew up to be is unknown, but he will come to us and free us for all days, away from religion, from tyranny, greed and death. He is the grand savior, created from evil…

The review

Review by Saint Nicholas

A TWC Life
By nicoisbest

A refreshingly creative tale. It is a really one-of-a-kind story; a metaphorical journey through this very forum!

The story

My eyes burst open, what happened? Last thing I remember I was looking for a mod for my new game, and now this.

I find myself surrounded by many men, none of which paying any attention to me other than "Welcome to TWC!" I quickly stand up, only to look down and find I am in much different clothes than I remember wearing. Come to think of it, everyone around me is dressed in such clothing, with most wearing numerous medals; it's almost as though I've awoken in Greece! I scan the grand city, which is filled with many pillared marble buildings and it seems to be divided into many distinct districts. I choose to roam this magnificent city and observe, and I find a very distinct civilization unlike anything I have ever seen.

In the first district i come upon, people are gathered around in various buildings and even the street speaking of utter nonsense. Anything and everything imaginable passes from their mouths. Looking around, I see but two or three woman out of the hundreds of men present, possibly thousands. I join in to find this community very welcoming and friendly, if not overwhelmingly random. I speak with many interesting characters such as a man who thinks he is a purple penguin and a man whose garb cannot be seen for he is covered head to toe with medals. We discuss topics with seemingly no meaning whatsoever, such as our favorite dish. Nevertheless I choose to continue with my objective and move onto the next district.

This next district was much different than the last. Here, men are seen discussing their political views. At first glance it appears civilised, but in little to no time, I notice some men shouting and insulting others. Overhearing a conversation regarding my homeland from my past life, I quickly join in and debate whether or not my country had saved another. Things go smoothly at first, but my nationalism clashed with anothers, and we quickly began to exchange insults. Nostrils flared, egos raged, and eyebrows arched. Many others joined in, and smoke filled the sky, I thought it might block out the sun. Over time, a man adorned with a very peculiar medal came over, and quickly clubbed me with his baton. Ignoring the others, he walks away after winking at one of the opposition, but I can see him staring at me from afar awaiting my next slip-up. Before leaving, I notice a small british flag dangling from his pocket, much to my frustration.

Tired from my misadventures, I find an Inn called "Logging Off" and stay the night.

The review

Review by Ariovistus Maximus

Hiroshima
by Katsumoto

Now that we've seen the cheery, comical side of this treasure chest, I'd like to show you yet another side; one with depth and feeling. When I read this piece by Katsumoto, I was really amazed.

The story

The B-29 bomber flew high above the clouds, the sun flinging its shadow onto the white bed of fog below. The captain of the Enola Gay, Colonel Paul Tibbetts, checked the altitude meter: They were 31,000 feet above sea level. By the navigator’s orders, Tibbets cautiously adjusted the plane to the new bearing towards the target. The heavy metal beast turned slowly.

The plane shook violently as they flew through a dense formation. The crew were already incredibly anxious, and they didn’t need turbulence to add to it. There was so much that could go wrong with this mission. The crew’s adrenaline drained away as they continued towards their destination.

The city was in view now. They were in range. At 0815 local time, the Enola Gay released its 9,700 pound payload. The aircraft immediately dove away and headed home.

***

The siren rang out at seven that morning. Radar had spotted three high flying aircraft heading towards the south, but after a short while, the All Clear was sounded; three planes did not constitute a bombing formation. “Mr B” was not visiting them today.

The citizens of Hiroshima went back to their work, which consisted mainly of tearing down buildings to create fire-breaks for the expected air raids. Fire had been catastrophic to Japan’s other cities, destroying half the buildings in a city in one night. The citizens of Hiroshima did not want to suffer the same fate, so they dug, picked, pulled and pushed endlessly to protect themselves from the incendiaries.

Soldiers of the Japanese Second Army were doing calisthenics on a small parade field, which consisted of various stretches and light exercises. Upon hearing a loud droning noise, several members of the unit looked up to the sky. 1,900 feet above them, the Heavens tore open.

In a blink of an eye, 70,000 souls were turned to ash. Those that weren’t killed instantly, saw an incredible flash of light above the city, which was followed by a soaring heat, which in turn was followed by the horrifying blast, a blast which threw homes and hospitals like a child threw his toys. Those that weren’t killed in the immediate explosion were either blown to pieces or burnt to death. The heat had been so immense that roads had retained the shadows of passers-by at the moment of detonation. Those within the city heard nothing, but the fisherman on his sampan twenty miles away heard a colossal booming thunder, as if the world was coming to an end. Within minutes, nine out of ten people within half a mile of the explosion were dead.

Numerous fires had erupted around the city, and they eventually combined into one huge firestorm, which engulfed the city, igniting anything and anyone in its path. Nearly every structure within one mile of ground zero was destroyed.

Survivors staggered through the ruins of the city, eyes and ears bleeding, clothing burnt through by the initial flash. Many survivors lay under fallen masonry, bones crushed. They would die an agonising death.

Thousands more would fall to radiation sickness. Another 80,000 would die in the bombing of Nagasaki three days later. It is thought that in total 200,000 people lost their lives as a result of the two explosions, and this included several American, Dutch and British POWs. On the same day as the “Fat Man” fell on Nagasaki, the Soviets invaded Manchuria. Six days later, after much discussion with the Allies, the Empire of Japan surrendered. The atomic bomb had worked.

The Second World War was over.

The review

Review by Ariovistus Maximus

We hope you've enjoyed this sampling of the Creative Writing forum. Please stop by and support the writers there; I know they would appreciate it. As a matter of fact, it wouldn't hurt to experiment with your own talents! Writing is a great way to express yourself, you will be amazed at what you can create if you only give it a try.

The Scriptorium Halloween Writing Competition

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

I much enjoyed this competition (even though my own entry failed to fire the imagination of the voters

). The sheer variety of the entries was a real eye-opener for me, and I thought it would be nice to bring them to the attention of a new generation of TWC members.

WereWolve's and stuff
By Mega Tortas

Third Place: A beautifully evocative little story that addresses how we used to think as small children.. in that time before credulity was replaced with cynicism.

The story

When I was little and they left me alone at night, I would watch scary movies in the dark. The only light in the house was my night light way down the hall in the bathroom. That was one of the rules…Only one light allowed to keep away the darkness. Now while the movie was on everything was okay because you always knew where the monster was…in the TV. When the commercials came that’s when the troubles began….

When the commercials came where did the monsters go? I mean you knew they weren’t in the TV anymore. So where did they go? It was okay though as long as I stayed perfectly still and didn’t breath too heavy I knew they couldn’t find me. When I couldn't’ hold in the pee anymore I would risk running way down the hall to the bathroom. They almost got me one night you know…..It was a Boogie or a Ghoul I can’t remember which now. Damn my little tiny bladder.

I remember driving with Aunt Nancy to her house one moon lit night. We were in her Dodge Dart on that windy road that cut thru the hills and skirted the golf course. We were both lost in our thoughts, no one speaking and just the silence of the night to keep us company. I heard it though and knew better than to look and risk the both of us . You could hear it running, panting, and the claws grasping at the back bumper….I had to look. Just a quick peek to make sure. So I did and wished I hadn’t. The WW was there sure enough reaching out, claws grasping, scratching the bumper within a breath of catching hold. I didn’t mean to but gasped. “What’s wrong???” Aunt Nancy asked and shook me from my trance. Uuuh..nothing just couldn't’t catch breath is all. I lied…I had to or we would have been lost. It let us go that night even though I had broken the rules…….

When “The Howling” came out my step mom took me to see it. I really wish she hadn’t. "The Howling” was an innovation & special effects masterpiece. At one point in the movie a guy got his head bit off and I’m pretty sure both of us got splattered with blood. We got home okay and I decided to go to bed. Big mistake….I had a corner bedroom on our house with windows behind and to the side of my bed. Yeah we lived in Miami and the walls were concrete with jail bars covering the windows and doors. That wouldn’t stop them though. Not if they really wanted to get you. So I lay there in bed stiff as a board, petrified not daring to move. As the moonlight gleamed through the curtains I sweated uncontrollably awaiting my fate. At one point I couldn't’t stand to look any more and pulled the covers over my head. Sometime during the night I awoke and could feel them perched on the corner of my bed just watching, waiting for a signal I would never understand…….

Go ahead look under your bed in the middle of the night and see what it gets you…I know you must have learned at least that much by now . Yeah the closet door is left a slightly ajar on purpose. Maybe you enjoy hearing the closet door creak open in the middle of the night. Not me, I learned that lesson long ago. That scratching at the window that you think is a tree branch pushed by the wind ….No ..I don’t think so. You see It’s the ones that don’t believe that get it first. The rest of us are just waiting till it’s our turn…

The review

The Punishment
By Hobbes

Second Place: A horror story and a moral tale.

the story

It was a usual Halloween night... or so it seemed, until it happened.

Jack and Liam where heading home after a long candy-gathering night.
The two brothers wanted to sleep, espacially Liam who was the youngest. Suddenly it started raining.
_We must hurry, Liam!
_I cannot run! I am too tired!
_Well then, think about the candy we gathered and do it! Mum, is going to kill us if we arrive soaking!
_OK, you win...
Jack looked at the moon but it was not visible, a red shadow was covering it.
As the kept running Jack noticed that a strange blue fog was slowly appearing around them, but he didn't want to upset Liam, so he did not say anything.

They were half way home but they could see nothing. The fog was too thick.
_Where are we? Liam shouted.
_We are near our house, don't worry.
_Even if we are near the house, how on earth are we going to reach it, since we can't see a thing?!
_Don't make it more difficult than it is. Give me the torch.
_Here, catch!
The torch fell on the ground with a thud.
_Now, look what you've done! Jack said
_Don't blame me, it's this stupid fog.
_Phew, it works....OK, let's go... Err, Liam, where are you?

Liam was gone. Jack looked around but nothing. And the torch didn't help. The fog was too thick, Jack couldn't breath easily. After muttering all his swear words he shouted: "Is anybody here?" There was no answer. Jack sat down to think. After realising that he could achieve nothing there, he walked forward.

After a few metres he found out that the road was gone. "What the hell?" he said to himself.

He had been walking for half an hour and the rain had stopped. The fog was starting to disolve. After crossing a shallow pond which shouldn't be there he found himself on a field. It was afternoon. Everything looked very familiar, but he couldn't remember much. A few metres in front of him there was a family having a picnic. He shouted: "Hey, you there!", but no one replied. It was as if he never shouted. He walked towards the family and he almost fainted. It was his family, with the exception that he was missing. "But how? This happened four years ago..." he thought. "And who's that kid?" he said while looking at boy the same age as him. The family was acting like he was not there.

_Having fun, Samuel?
Jack screamed. "Who are you? You gave me the creeps!" he said to the bearded man in front of him. "And how did you appear like that? Have you anything to do with all this?"

_Now, relax, it's not your first time, anyway.
_My first time...?
The man laughed. He was wearing a red cloak that covered all his body except the head.
_You have been doing this for years, Cursed One. Why don't you embrace your punishment?
_My...punishment...
_A hundred years ago, October 31 1908. The assassination of thirteen priests... Samuel, try to remember.
_I am Jack Essar, and I was born in 1992...
_That's what YOU think. Look into your soul and you will find all answeres.

The bearded man disappeared.

Jack felt exhausted and his head was aching. He tried to go away from that place. He reached the small pond and washed his face hoping that it was all a dream. He felt better, but everything was the same... He started crying, and after a few hours of sorrow he looked in the pond. He saw a man in his twenties with long black hair. There were scars on his face. He looked so familiar, yet so unknown. Then he started to remember...

People laughing, the party was great, drinks and food on the tables. There were twelve people in the mansion, the priest-who the last guest-arrived. His beard was shining under the light. Jack tried to stop thinking but it was no use. He saw the scarred man entering the building.
Fear, blood and grief everywhere. "Pain! Pain! I cannot stop!!" Jack cried.

A voice was telling Jack to run, but it was to late. He was Samuel and he was not. The two personalities co-existed in one body. Then, the bearded man arrived.

_When you killed tese people Samuel, you were sad, right?
_Yes.
_And you wanted them to feel sorry as well, right?
_Yes.
_This is your last chance. This was the hundredth time you were reborn. Do you apologise?
_No.
_You know the consequences, don't you?
_Yes.
_Another hundred years then?
_Yes.
_As you wish then.

The priest disappeared and a blue fog surrounded Samuel.

A baby was born. It was October 31 2008. The moon was covered by a red shadow and there was a blue fog outside.

Jack Essar had never existed.

THE END

The review

The Man
By Zuwxiv

Winner and Librarian's Choice: A Halloween poem about the hidden menace of Trick-or-Treaters.

The story

On the night before November, as the sun burned blood-red embers,
Over the quaint and curious houses perched beyond my only door,
As I pondered newfound faces, gnarled heads of pumpkin races,
With a burning flame in places where a heart should be before -
Then they came, in cruel disguises, as I’d never seen before -
Knocking at my chamber door.

I gaze through my peeping window, but it shows me naught but shadow,
Trust I not their black eyes hollow, moat it is of my rancor.
Question I forbidding aims, through a door closed to their games,
and to my sceptic disdain, “Trick or treat!” they do implore -
For the nameless and the masked, I myself to them implore
“Leave this place forever more.”

My tormentors claim donation, demand they a staple ration
They desire sweets and candy to appease the ghastly corps.
Trust I not demanding strangers, know I of the certain dangers,
Of mobs of hungered covered rangers pounding on my chamber door -
Teeth and claw and wing and beak luring prey to open door -
Fear I night-time mischief war.

Say they are the neighbor’s children, see I dozen faces hidden,
Hidden under grim facade of nameless shaken darkened gore.
“No,” I shriek, “Leave my home, go ye back to where ye roam!
Haunt the ancient dusty tomes, make not doorsteps worn and sore!”
Their reply, all as one... “Stranger, we are not yet sore...
lest you keep unopened door.”

Fear I then the threat of ire, trust I have they will retire,
Grab I morsels for the devils - I throw open chamber door-
See I not the neighbor’s children, see I monsters, creatures, demon,
See I nameless wicked heathen of vindictive lost folklore,
Plead I, “Take what you desire, demons of eons’ folklore!”
To those guests beyond my door.

Answer they with toothy smile that revealed a sickly guile
And their sullen eyes glowed as I’d never seen before...
And by the light those orbs had cast, revealed to me was horror vast
For I could now see at last, it was not masks they wore!
No costumes, garbs, or tricks were these - it was their gruesome skin they wore,
Beyond my opened door!

Reached they in with gnarled claws, took I not a moment’s pause,
Lunged I then, in a moment, grabbed in vain to close the door,
But once willing, I could not undo the welcome I begot
All my effort, all for naught, all of them upon me tore!
Screamed, I writhed, I thrashed, I flailed, struggled with them till I tore.
For their disease I had no cure.

Then on that day oft forgotten, my very form from me was taken
In their greed those fiends had stolen what I could replace no more.
Coward’s fear was not able to prevent my grisly fable
My shape, my species, and my label - forever changed those days of yore.
Now my flight is towards fear, I do not flee that hallow yore -
For I the messenger of more.

Now I pay for trust misplaced, now I haunt the weak disgraced,
Curse I am, to never leave, to always and forever soar
In the minds of those who suffer, loneliness and lost of other,
Though my words act as a buffer, to my crooked beaked rapport!
From the now until forever, I shall croak my one-word lore!
Quoth I to the, "Nevermore."

The review

reviews by Juvenal

Where do stories come from?

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

I have loved to read almost ever since I can remember. For a long time I just accepted stories as a child accepts everything else in life. They were not part of the normal world, but that didn't make them any less real (even though they were fiction).

A good story for me was one that explored the boundaries of the possible, which is why I have had always had a problem with the Fantasy genre, where the arbitrary breaking of rules is a constant temptation. I wanted a story that felt like it could really happen, in a universe that, although it might be mysterious, ultimately made sense.

It was only much later that I began to wonder where stories actually come from. I suppose it was part of my transition from childish uncritical acceptance of stories to an awareness that there was an author with an agenda manipulating what I would think of as the “pure” story.

Thanks to TWC, I finally decided to try my own hand at story writing. The AAR form was something I had already dallied with as a teen, chronicling my solo wargaming efforts with Airfix figures. The writing may have been simplistic and naive, but it only had an audience of one and served its purpose (that of increasing my immersion in the game) perfectly.

So, now I write stories myself. But like a climbing plant, I need a framework, an armature, to hang my ideas from and focus the story. For AARs this is the campaign I'm playing, for Tale of the Week the picture. But in the Scriptorium writing competitions I am thrown completely onto my own resources. I have twice used ideas from dreams (successful in every sense except votes), and most recently tried to write a story around a well-known rhyme (which didn't turn out well at all). Clearly I still have a lot to learn about capturing an audience, so I suppose I'll just have to continue plugging away until I discover a method.

When I start an AAR, I have the impetus of an initial concept to get me through the early part of the campaign. I find that I can take a chunk of campaign and imagine a short story extending slightly beyond the bare events in the game. When I finish such an episode, I am often surprised at what has been created, a feeling akin to completing a painting-by-numbers piece. I am familiar with the individual passages and what prompted me to write them, but when taken together, a new level of meaning sometimes emerges, a story-shape and nuances of character that I hadn't consciously planned.

At the time of writing, my current AAR is heading toward its conclusion, and I have been forced to face the need for the story-arc to conclude in a meaningful and satisfying manner. So, for the first time ever, I have had to make an outline for the rest of the AAR, rather than relying entirely on inspiration.

It is a fascinating and frustrating process. I have a set of actors who have acquired unforeseen characteristics and each of them has to be woven into the denouement in an appropriate way. There are rivalries which must be resolved, mysteries which must be revealed and plans which must conclude in success or failure. And above all, the solution must be both interesting and have a feeling of rightness (whatever that is).

Strangely, I've found constraints like this actually help me produce a more interesting story. It is, I suppose, another form of framework. Ideas are inspired by the framework, extending it and providing new catalysts for yet further ideas.

So, have I found out where stories come from? Well, not really, they are like Santa Claus. All you can do is put out the milk and cookies, stoke up the fire, think virtuous thoughts and just hope one will stop by and visit you on its travels.

Juvenal

From the Editor's Desk

NEW: Letters to the Editor
If you read the Critic's Quill, then it can be safely assumed that you are interested in AARs and probably have strong opinions about them.

Well, here is your chance to get your thoughts published!

Write a paragraph (or even a sentence) encapsulating something you feel is important about an AAR you have read: something you learned, liked, were surprised by; even something you wish the author would have done but didn't. Just avoid bashing and negative comments.
PM your submission to me.
If we like it, it will be published in the next edition of Critic's Quill in our new Letters Section.

Other News
Sadly we have to say farewell to Kallum von Döbeln, but he has very kindly left us with his thoughful review of I Am Skantarios to remember him by. On a happier note please welcome Thermal (formerly known as Mercury) who starts his tenure with a fine review of The Glory of Ostermark. I would also like to say a special thank you to our hard-working regular writers: Ariovistus Maximus and Saint Nicholas. Well done everyone!

We write reviews because we love AARs. We hope our words will inspire you to go and read AARs yourself, and maybe even consider writing one. You may think you're a poor writer, or that you don't have any ideas. But give it a try anyway, you will be amazed at what you can create, and TWC offers the ideal place to publish. You know you will be among friends here, and if you like what you have produced, then there is bound to be someone else out there who likes it too.

So, farewell then... 'till the next Issue.

Juvenal

**Saint Nicholas** · March 31, 2010, 08:02 AM

Sweet issue. Great work by everyone and special welcome to Thermal, great review.

**Chirurgeon** · March 31, 2010, 10:29 AM

I am proud to be represented in your publication! It warms me deeply to know that I have had the opportunity to affect so many people in my stories. Thank you so much for all that you do!

**Katsumoto** · March 31, 2010, 03:41 PM

Excellent issue guys, thanks for the review too Ariovistus, glad you liked it, it's good to get some feedback on the writing (God knows we could use a lot more in the Historical Fiction forum

).

Thanks again, appreciate it.

**Thermal** · March 31, 2010, 03:50 PM

Huge Issue, 100% good content (Scriptorium writing competition winner had a great entry).

Thanks Saint Nicholas, glad I could contribute to it.

**LuckyLewis** · March 31, 2010, 03:58 PM

Thank you very much for the review! Such a wonderful surprise! Always nice to get the feedback and criticism in order to improve. Not to mention, it's great to know that my work is appreciated.

Kind Regards,

Lewis

**samsmithnz** · March 31, 2010, 04:06 PM

Thanks for reviewing my AAR. Good constructive comments that I will think about for next time.

thanks

Sam

**Nanny de Bodemloze** · March 31, 2010, 05:53 PM

Great job as always and a very informative read! Keep it up!

Nanny

**Fight!** · March 31, 2010, 07:30 PM

A pleasant surprise to me as well, it's good to know my work was enjoyable

**Mega Tortas de Bodemloze** · March 31, 2010, 09:33 PM

A splendid offering and strong issue. Thank you'all so much for your passion...

**Beer Money** · April 01, 2010, 02:19 AM

Great write-ups as always. Thanks for the including the review of my AAR. Been busy lately so I'll get my AARs the attention they deserve here shortly.

**cedric37** · April 01, 2010, 04:38 AM

Very nice reading. Great job guys !

**Thokran** · April 01, 2010, 11:26 AM

Amazing, guys!

Its an honor to have my AAr reviwed here, and I'm glad people get the chance to enjoy reading it! Keep up the great work guys, your work on these reviews is stupendous!

**~~Exarch~~** · April 04, 2010, 01:33 AM

good work guys

good reviews

**Genius of the Restoration** · April 04, 2010, 03:15 AM

Good job all. Some interesting and enjoyable reads here!

**Juvenal** · April 05, 2010, 01:37 AM

Thank you everyone for your kind words. We at the Quill very much appreciate knowing that our work has given you pleasure.

Contribute to the new Letters Section!
Please don't forget to PM me a paragraph (or even a sentence) about some AAR that has inspired you, even it if was just a single idea, a piece of dialogue, a plot-twist or just a way of expressing something.

Describe how it affected you, send the description to me, and I will (probably) publish it!

**Fixiwee** · April 05, 2010, 06:52 AM

Great work as usual.

**Juvenal** · April 06, 2010, 10:44 AM

Share Your Thoughts and Receive Rep!

Yes, you heard it right, I will be awarding rep for every contribution to the Critic's Quill Letters Section that I publish.

Feel strongly about an AAR?
Had one of those "wish I'd thought of that!" moments?
Ever just had to stop reading to think "WOW!"?

Tell me about it via PM and you may find yourself immortalised in the Critic's Quill!

What more could anyone want?

**Quintus Augustus** · April 06, 2010, 05:32 PM

Wow, thanks for reviewing my story. im glad some one read and appreciated it. The review was great too, and the reviewer hit the spot, and got my story a lot better than my friends. BTW my story was "the great triumvirate"

.