Children

[Jesus The Inane]

How will you raise your children, if you have children? Will you tell them stories like that of Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, etc etc? Will you be a over-protective parent? Will you give them freedom to express themselves and to go out side and come back late in the night? Will you "brainwash" them into what you believe in, ei; your religion.

Will you allow your daughter to wear mini skirts?

This topic is all about how a parent should do his job properly, so feel free to discuss.

I for my part woulnd't tell my children stories like Santa Claus because that is a lie, why do parents do that anyway? So as to keep their children in a fantasy world or something? So as to keep them innocent? My mom told me Santa was a lie when I was like six and it didn't have no bad effect on me, it neither made me a sad or angry or anything like that. I would give my children relative freedom and would try and discuss as much philosophy as I could with them.

I wouldn't allow my son or daughter to dress like a ganster or a *****. So no mini skirst for her. And thinking about skirts, reminds me to ask ye; what would you do if you discover your son was gay/ or your daughter was a lesbian?

I for my part would accept the fact and support them in their sexual preferences. I would raise my children to be very stoic and so I would want them to dress in a simple manner, to be at peace with nature, to control their desires, and I wouldn't accept if they decide to get piercings or stuff like that.

So what about you people? Pardon me for not representing this thread in a more organized manner.

[Rome AC2]

If I had children I wont them to be free but with some restrection I wouldn't care what relegion they choose seeing that I am more spiritual then religious.
I would first like to meet my son or daugther boyfriend/girlfriend. I would not let them take drug but smoking or drinking I could be fine with it. For education I would love to talk to them abbout politics, history, and philosophy.

[Evil Maniac From Mars]

A) Must be Catholic
B) Be straight or get the heck out of my house
C) You're German, you were born there ( I hope, I want my child to be born there like me/family ), be proud of it.
D) I don't care about your clothes, so long as they are clean.

Other than that, I might impose some minor rules, but that's all the major stuff.

[Siblesz]

I'm gonna be a philosophical kind of dad... you know... instead of reading my kid Hanzel and Grettel, I'll read him about Hannibal's victory in Cannae or one of Voltaire moral enlightened stories in his Philosophical Dictionary.

I'll let him formulate his own ideas, give him some discipline, but not too much. I'll let him grow up to be his own man. I will tell him my beliefs and why I think the way I think, and as he grows up I'll let him formulate his own beliefs. I will not raise my kid in any religious environment. Some moral guidelines would be enough.

But this doesn't make much of a difference. As much as I'd love raising a kid, I don't think I'll have a future in doing so, considering my modern way of life.

[Manji]

My plan:
Encourage him/her to read and write and at the same time to practice healthy sports and, if he likes it, kendo.
He/she will not have a religious upbringing but a moral one nonetheless.

The truth:
I'll probably be a overly protective father, always worrying.

[Centurion Quintus]

My child would have a rigourous morning routine consisting of a professional dermatologist check-up, an extremely intense one hour work out, and perfectly balanced meal, and off to school. A+'s will be the only thing tolerated, failure to accomplish this would result in extreme punishment. Clothing would be hand chosen by me. Public dissent towards me would be grounds for removal of priveleges. Athletic prowess would be a must.

[Hamelkart]

My child would have a rigourous morning routine consisting of a professional dermatologist check-up, an extremely intense one hour work out, and perfectly balanced meal, and off to school. A+'s will be the only thing tolerated, failure to accomplish this would result in extreme punishment. Clothing would be hand chosen by me. Public dissent towards me would be grounds for removal of priveleges. Athletic prowess would be a must.

You forgot to add choosing of boyfriend/girlfriend.

[Justinian]

I like to think I would be a relatively easy going parent. I wouldn't raise my kid religiously; if I myself was religious again I would give them nudges in that direction and keep them informed of my beliefs, but I wouldn't force them into believing something they otherwise wouldn't believe. But I would raise them morally and teach them not to be sluts.

Most importantly, I would want my kids to have great reading and writing abilities... I would encourage them to read frequently. (It's sad how many of today's children detest books and instead sit rotting in front of a TV screen). In my house is a TV which is only capable of watching very blurry news - so we saw 9/11, we see all the presidential debates, but we don't see useless crap my kids would have much interest in in the growing-up years, unless they were miniature Winston Churchills (which wouldn't be bad).

So, basically, reading and computers would be the only real forms of steady entertainment, to encourage them to read ... good reading skills = brains, bad reading skills = janitor. I'm kidding. Ish.

As a father I would like to keep in mind how I felt as a kid and how the things my parents did affected me, and use that knowledge wisely.

Will you tell them stories like that of Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, etc etc?

No. There's no point in such lies.

Will you allow your daughter to wear mini skirts?

Why not? By the time I'm having kids I would assume it would definitely be the norm, and I wouldn't want my daughter to be a suppressed girl in long dusty garments who is beaten if part of her leg can be seen in public. Basically I would let them wear what they want unless it was something WAY over the top like really tight latex bra and miniskirt in public.

what would you do if you discover your son was gay/ or your daughter was a lesbian?

Ah, the difficult question. I would try to be accepting and still treat them the same way... I would also inform my son of what he would be missing... a family, the steady love of a woman ... plus I wouldn't raise my son to be sheltered in any way from females ... I mean, if I stumbled on my thirteen year old son looking at porn I would back off and say nothing about it. Then again there is that going too far and my son entering into premarital relations whilst in my house and under eighteen, in which case I would give them hell ... after they're eighteen, just express my strong disapproval.

[Captain Hastings]

How will you raise your children, if you have children? Will you tell them stories like that of Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, etc etc? Will you be a over-protective parent? Will you give them freedom to express themselves and to go out side and come back late in the night? Will you "brainwash" them into what you believe in, ei; your religion.

No I wouldn't do anything like that, I was really mad when I found out the tooth fairy didn't exist. Although I would want to keep them away from religious influences. Raise them as Atheists.
I've been brought up on small amounts of wine and such since I was 6. I know it isn't good for my liver but it has taught me a lot of self-control and I know I won't be one of those kids who'll get smashed at a party when I hit 18. I'm going to try do the same for my kids.
As for expressing themselves? No, they musn't. I'm going to have a CD of classical music playing every night they go to bed when they're young. I'm going to introduce them to all the great 20th century writers, I'm going to teach them about the importance of education. I don't want any of my children ending up racist, sexist, homophobic, etc. I couldn't stand having a goth for a child, or a really sporty kid. As long as they read and listen to calm music I'll be happy.

Will you allow your daughter to wear mini skirts?

Oh god no, I saw this little six year old on the bus alone a while ago and she was wearing a mini skirt. Even came with a handbag that had painted kisses on it. Stuff like that really scares me.

what would you do if you discover your son was gay/ or your daughter was a lesbian?

I wouldn't mind at all, however if my wife and I had only one child I'd be upset by no grandchildren, at least in the near future. But learn to accept them as what they are I guess.

[PandaRegent]

How will you raise your children, if you have children? Will you tell them stories like that of Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, etc etc? Will you be a over-protective parent? Will you give them freedom to express themselves and to go out side and come back late in the night? Will you "brainwash" them into what you believe in, ei; your religion.

Haha! I grew up a JW so I didn't even understand the concept of Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny until I was twelve. No, none of that stuff. They can do what they like so long as I approve. If they wanna drink when they're 12, no. Maybe 17. I no longer have a religion, but will raise them in the same enviroment I grew in.

Will you allow your daughter to wear mini skirts?

Sure, but then I would have to hang her with it.

what would you do if you discover your son was gay/ or your daughter was a lesbian?

I do not care. It's not like they would wind up the stereotypical gay/lesbian, in which case I would kill them.

[Shadowflare]

I'll set the ground rules with them early, but then allow them absolute freedom beyond that to do what they like and explore and learn for themselves. I'll encourage them to always seek the truth and be the best that they possibly can be and to chase their dream relentlessly. That's how I was raised, and I don't think I've turned out too bad. How can I do anything less for my own, if I ever have my own?

As far as Santa and all of that crap, why waste their time with it? I'll give to 'em straight. It'll save them some heartbreak later on, and they'll know that they can always trust their parents to not purposely lead them astray.

[Poltemly]

i will lay instruments before my child, if they touch any horn, they would be ***** slapped.

[ShangTang]

Wow, what abunch of homophobes. If my child was gay, I would accept him. Because he would still be my child.

[Rowan11088]

This is pretty funny so far...some people are real fascists

I'm not sure I would know what to do with my kids. I can imagine all kinds of qualities that I admire in a person and would want to instill, but who am I to decide such things? I wouldn't want them to be doing whatever they wanted, but I also don't want to unfairly impose my own views, and then have them hate me in later life. Honestly there should be a qualification process for becoming a parent...being able to **** a girl is hardly proof of merit.

I really can't believe the homophobia though...I mean, you'd think if ANYTHING could change someone's mind about homosexuality, it would be realizing their own son, through no choice of his own, was gay. I mean, if you're one of those people who thinks homosexuality is chosen, then what does that say about your parenting? :laughing: Makes a LOT more sense that it's just the way someone is, and thus you should accept your children and love them regardless. But hey, we've got another thread for that discussion...

[Tom Paine]

The hope:
Choose your own: religion (but be able to talk about it, and know the facts); sexuality (know safety stuff, et cetera); morality (see religion); clothes (but not too expensive); interests (but I will try to get them interested in politics, philosophy, classics; if they aren't, well then.); instil an urge for academic excellence, but not at the price of social life. That's the hope.

The reality:
God knows, but given that I had the above (except different set of interests) then I might pull it off...

[Jesus The Inane]

Interesting. It would seem that the future parents would be better parents and so this would result in a better society... atleast it would seem. And yet how come it seems that morality and decency is going down hill in todays world? It would also seem that Santa Claus and co will be gone in the future but I wonder, is it taking away such fantasies gonna have a bad effect on our children? I mean, this fantacies make them more soft and more sensible, and hence more friendly, which is good for society. What will replace the fantasies? It would appear to me that our children are gonna be more independent and "care free" then us, and the past generations.

I would first like to meet my son or daugther boyfriend/girlfriend.

The thing is, do you really feel comfortable showing your parents your boyfriend/girlfriend? I mean, is a pretty awkward situation that should be avoid it, I mean, what is the need? You gotta trust your children to make the right decision, you know? I mean, lets say you meet your daughter's boyfriend, and you don't like him, what are you gonna do about it? Rather let your daughter come to you and talk to you about her boyfriend when she feels ready for it, you know?

Evil Maniac From Mars, so you would pretty much not try to understand your children? Pretty much if they think differently then you kick them out of the house? How could the kid ever trust you? The parent-child relationship would suffer as a result, don't you agree? And I take it you would force him/her to go to church even though they'll be day dreaming during the sermon, which would be an insult to God, no?

B) Be straight or get the heck out of my house

No regard about your son's feeling what-so-ever, ha?

My child would have a rigourous morning routine consisting of a professional dermatologist check-up, an extremely intense one hour work out, and perfectly balanced meal, and off to school. A+'s will be the only thing tolerated, failure to accomplish this would result in extreme punishment. Clothing would be hand chosen by me. Public dissent towards me would be grounds for removal of priveleges. Athletic prowess would be a must.

I'm surprise to hear this in this place. Could you explain the reasoning behind such a regime? And you do realize that your son then would probably not trust you in telling you his "secret"? Again, feelings thrown out the window.

Why not? By the time I'm having kids I would assume it would definitely be the norm, and I wouldn't want my daughter to be a suppressed girl in long dusty garments who is beaten if part of her leg can be seen in public. Basically I would let them wear what they want unless it was something WAY over the top like really tight latex bra and miniskirt in public.

So its ok aslong as is the fashion, right? The thing is you don't even have to beat your daughter in order to make her your ideal "daughter" but rather brainwash her. The thing for me is this; if I can debate with my child about anything and always put up a good argument, in such manner that I'll be able to convince them, then I won't have to worry about them dissobeint me, you know? Would not this be the best method?

So, if the fashion is, to take this to the extreme, to dress like a clown, then that is ok? What about morality? Society doesn't always embrace the most moral things, you know? In the other hand, if one raises one's child with unpopular ideas/fashion, then you'll get a son who is a loner, and so one's son will suffered in his social life. Which one is preferable; an upright child in your view, who is a loner, or a popular child who has no morality?

Ah, the difficult question. I would try to be accepting and still treat them the same way... I would also inform my son of what he would be missing... a family, the steady love of a woman ... plus I wouldn't raise my son to be sheltered in any way from females

Couldn't keep myself from responding; He can still have the love of his life, even though he is gay, you know? he can still have a family...

As for expressing themselves? No, they musn't.

Why not? Not allowing them to express themselves might result in them not being keen at "questioning everything"

i will lay instruments before my child, if they touch any horn, they would be ***** slapped.

So you would raise a kid who is a poltroon? Too afraid to think for his own and not to mention he'll probably not trust you.

Wow, what abunch of homophobes. If my child was gay, I would accept him. Because he would still be my child.

Intersting. What if you discover your child, when grown up, became a murderer? would you still love him? Is a murderer worthy to be loved? Would you accept him just because he is your child. So if you see another murderer, you wouldn't, just because he is not your child?

Where do we draw the line of acceptance? When do we say; "No, that person is not worth my caring." Or is just because it has your blood then its ok? I mean, I get this feeling that people have double standards when it comes to family and the rest of the world.

People, if you see something you disagree on, discuss, heck, even better; debate it. O, how much more fun are debates rather then discussions...

Here are some other things to contemplate;

-When will you talk to your children about sex?
-What will you tell your daughter about guys?

[Søren]

Intersting. What if you discover your child, when grown up, became a murderer? would you still love him? Is a murderer worthy to be loved? Would you accept him just because he is your child. So if you see another murderer, you wouldn't, just because he is not your child?

Where do we draw the line of acceptance? When do we say; "No, that person is not worth my caring." Or is just because it has your blood then its ok? I mean, I get this feeling that people have double standards when it comes to family and the rest of the world.

Well, as a Christian, I would hold that no-one is worthy of love.

However, I would also hold that one should love others, whatever are there sins. As the bible teaches that "all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God".

[Danny5]

Intersting. What if you discover your child, when grown up, became a murderer? would you still love him? Is a murderer worthy to be loved? Would you accept him just because he is your child. So if you see another murderer, you wouldn't, just because he is not your child?

I'm sure you would still love him. But comparing murder to homosexuality is rather... uh... absurd.

If my son(If I ever have a son) is gay, I'd like to have him shop for me. Probably will have really nice and polite friends too.

Personally, I loved the little lies of Santa Clause, Easter Bunny, blah blah. I never felt dejected at having learned the truth, just the excitement of remembering the past. So I plan on being very big with the stories.

Sexual orientation does not matter. Religion doesn't matter. They can choose to do what they want themselves. I'll try to insist they do some sports though, it usually comes out as a good experience. Once they get old enough I'll trust that they can handle their safety on their own. My daughter will carry a knife in her purse and katana in her car at all times. What they choose to become or be is their choice, not mine. Morally, I'd like to instill the value of private property(stealing gets on my nerves, as does disrespecting someone elses stuff). I'll do my best to encourage free thinking(Politically, not weighted towards a side), and allow for no gender/race biases.

[Tom Paine]

Well, as a Christian, I would hold that no-one is worthy of love.

However, I would also hold that one should love others, whatever are there sins. As the bible teaches that "all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God".

Look, love is not about worth, it is about trust and well, love. Worthiness is not really a consideration in a biological phenomenon, which is what love of offspring is. I'll still value it qall the same, but I'll also know it for what it is.

[Justinian]

Couldn't keep myself from responding; He can still have the love of his life, even though he is gay, you know? he can still have a family...

No offense to gays, but what the hell kind of family is it with two fathers/two mothers? Where is balance in that? Firstly, you KNOW you're not their child, you'd made fun of in school, people immediately assume YOU'RE gay too ... and imagine you parents oppressing you for being STRAIGHT...

The family unit is one man + one woman + children, preferably born because a daddy loves a mommy very much... instead of being adopted which they obviously would be ...

It's simply not possible to have a family when you're gay and I find it disgusting to put children in such a crazy situation. There's too much stigma of homosexuals for a kid to be AT ALL happy in such a household, and I would NOT wish it on my (adopted) grandchild.