What if...?

[Ngugi]

"Yeah, I'm down to be a ringbearer, but let's go slow on the fellowship talk, Elrond."

Stephanie Meyer- Eclipse of the Ring

Niiice ^^

[Cyclops]

Twas Forelithe, and the halfling coves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the ringwraiths outgrabe.

Lewis Carroll -Frodowocky

[Cyclops]

"What's it going to be then, eh?" There was me, that is Frodo, and my three droogs, that is Pippin, Merry, and Sam, Sam being really dim, and we sat in the Green Dragon making up our rassoodocks what to do with the evening, a flip dark chill winter bastard though dry.

Anthony Burgess -A Clockwork Baggins

The sweat wis lashing oafay Gollum; he wis trembling.

Irving Walsh -Ringspotting

I am an invisible Hobbit.

Ralph Ellison -The Invisible Hobbit

[Cyclops]

The first time I laid eyes on Gandalf Greyhame he was drunk on a Silver mearas outside the terrace of Edoras.

Raymond Chandler -The Big Fellowship

[Ngugi]

Eowyn: Where were you last night?

Aragorn: That’s so long ago, I don’t remember.

Eowyn: Will I see you tonight?

Aragorn: I never make plans that far ahead.


Epstein's & Koch - Ciudadblanca [the White City]

[Cyclops]

In my younger and more vulnerable years my uncle gave me a ring I've been turning over in my fingers ever since.

Frodo Scott Fitzgerald (you always wondered what the F stood for, didn't you?)-The Great Bagginsby

Mr Frodo Baggins, who was usually very late in the mornings, save upon those not infrequent occasions when he stayed up all night, was seated at the breakfast table. I stood upon the hearth-rug and picked up the letter which his Uncle had left behind him the night before.

Arthur Conan Doyle - The Foul Hound of the Sauronvilles

The year that Bilbo was born, the most horrible orc in the world was a gigantic goblin chief named Azog.

William Goldman -The Batchelor Hobbit (OK that a stretch from the Princess Bride but its pretty hard to make that about Hobbits)

[Cyclops]

"Nine little Nazguls
Sealing Gondor's fate.
Someone slew the WitchKing
And then there were eight..."

Agatha Christie -Nine Little Nazguls

The Hobbit in green fled across the Trollshaws and the WitchKing followed.

Stephen King -The Ringslinger

[Cyclops]

Radagast: [after Elrond assigns names] Yeah, yeah, but "Mr. Brown"? That's little too close to "Mr. Poo".

Gandalf: Yeah, "Mr. Grey" sounds like "Mr. Gay". Tell you what, let me be Mr. Purple. That sounds good to me. I'm Mr. Purple.

Elrond: You're not Mr. Purple. Somebody from another job's Mr. Purple. You're Mr. Grey!


Q Tarantino - Rivendell Dogs

[Ngugi]

I know what you're thinking. "Did he fire six white bolt's or only five?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is my new staff, the most powerful staff in the West, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, nazgul?

Don Siegel - Dirty Gandalf

[Cyclops]

Arnor, best of lands, lieth in the Western Middle earth betwixt Lindon and Angmar, and containeth eight hundred miles in length and two hundred in breadth.

Geoffrey of Minhirimouth - History of the Kings of Arnor

"Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Ar Pharazon Pelori wgah'nagl fhtagn."

Abdul Al Harad - Nazgulnomicon

[Cyclops]

When in the Course of elvish events, it becomes necessary for the Noldor to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with the Valar, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Yavanna and of Eru entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of elfkind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

Thomas Finweson -Oath of Independence

[Cyclops]

Orcs are hatched slaves and remain slaves and lacking in rights. Social distinctions may be founded only upon the general bad.
The aim of all hordes is the preservation of the unnatural and imprescriptible rights of orcs. These rights are slavery, theivery, insecurity, and imposition of oppression

Bolg De Gobelinbourg -Declaration of the Rights of Orc

[Lemoniser]

Orcs are hatched slaves and remain slaves and lacking in rights. Social distinctions may be founded only upon the general bad.
The aim of all hordes is the preservation of the unnatural and imprescriptible rights of orcs. These rights are slavery, theivery, insecurity, and imposition of oppression

Bolg De Gobelinbourg -Declaration of the Rights of Orc

Nice +rep. Also hope that you make good use of your 666h post

[Muffer Nl]

A song I translated from Dutch:
Through shot streets,
Without a father, without a country.
You walk helplessly alone,
Holding your mothers warm hand.

Like a sheep between Wargs,
Destination unknown.
And no-one sees how small you are,
No-one sees how small you are.

It'll be peace tomorrow,
Shall the sun nurse you again.
Shall the world be a playground again,
And will you be able to play carefree again.

After winter comes spring,
Becomes the grey sky blue again.
But even though you left the war,
Will the war ever leave you?

Beautiful eyes are poisoned,
Are used to the violence.
And no-one sees how small you are,
No-one sees how small you are.

The song is called 'De Speeltuin' and is performed by Marco Borsato. It is one of the most beautiful songs I ever heard and can apply to any war scenario. Just imagine a small child walking through a ruined Rohan Village on his mothers hand...

Especially this:

But even though you left the war,
Will the war ever leave you?

always touches me.



Bilbo: Ring on, ring off.
The Ringlord Kid.

[Cyclops]

Sauron was dead, to begin with. There is no doubt whatever about that. The account of his demise was accepted by the Elf Herald, the Steward, the Prince of Dol Amroth, and the chief dwarf. Isildur signed it. And Isildur's name was good upon 'Change, or any ring he chose to put his hand to.

Charles Dickens - A Yule Carol

[old_dude]

As Frodo Samsa awoke from unsettling dreams one morning, he found himself transformed in his bed into a monstrous Nazgul.
Franz Kafka - The Metamorphobbit

Granted : I am an inmate of Barad Dur, Sauron is watching me, he never lets me out of his sight; there's a peephole on the door, and Sauron's eye is a shade of red that can never see through a gray-eyed type like me.
Gunter Grass - The Tin Towers

"Ask me a riddle," Gollum invited.
" you," Bilbo said. He did not raise his voice.
Stephen King - Wizard and Dwarves

[Cyclops]

He was an old man who hunted alone in a huff in the ColdFells and he had gone eighty-four years now without taking a wife.

Ernest Hemingway -The Old King and the Elf

[Muffer Nl]

Original: Zankoku na Nazgûl no you ni
Hobbit yo, shinwa ni nare...

English translation: Hobbits, like a Nazgûl's thesis,
Live up to be a legend...

Cruel Nazgûl Thesis.

[Cyclops]

Half a league, half a league, half a league onward,
All in the Pellenor rode the Eored.
"A sword-day, a red day, ere the sun rise!" he said:
Into the Pellenor rode the Eored.

Ælfred Lord Thane-Isen - The Charge of the Eorlingas

[Muffer Nl]

Make way for Aragorn
Say hey! It's Aragorn

Hey! Clear the way in to Osgiliath
Hey you!
Let us through!
It's a bright new star!
Oh Come!
Be the first on your block to meet his eye!

Make way!
Here he comes!
Ring bells! Bang the drums!
Are you gonna love this guy!

Aragorn! Fabulous he!
son of Arathorn
Genuflect, shom some respect
Down on one knee!
Now, try your best to stay calm
Brush up your sunday salaam
The come and meet his spectacular coterie

Aragorn!
Mighty is he!
son of Arathorn
Strong as ten regular men, definitely!
He faced the galloping hordes
A hundred bad guys with swords
Who sent those goons to their lords?
Why, Aragorn

He's got seventy-five golden camels
Purple peacocks
He's got fifty-three
When it comes to exotic-type mammals
Has he got a zoo?
I'm telling you, it's a world-class menagerie

Aragorn! Handsome is he, son of Arathorn
That physique! How can I speak
Weak at the knee
Well, get on out in that square
Adjust your vein and prepare
To gawk and grovel and stare at Aragorn!

There's no question this Ara's alluring
Never ordinary, never boring
Everything about the man just plain impresses
He's a winner, he's a whiz, a wonder!
He's about to pull my heart asunder!
And I absolutely love the way he dresses!

He's got ninety-five white Persian monkeys
(He's got the monkeys, let's see the monkeys)
And to view them he charges no fee
(He's generous, so generous)
He's got friends, he's got servants and groupies
(Proud to work for him)
They bow to his whim love serving him
They're just lousy with loyalty to Ara! Aragorn!

Aragorn!
Amorous he! son of Arathorn
Heard Arwen was a sight lovely to see
And that, good people, is why he got dolled up and dropped by
With sixty Oliphaunts, horses galore
With his bears and lions
A brass band and more
With his forty elves, his cooks, his bakers
His birds that warble on key
Make way for Aragorn!