The Critic's Quill: Issue 13

[Juvenal]

Letter from the (Assistant) Editor

Dear Readers, due to the inconveniece of our esteemed Editor Junius having been drawn away by the inconsequential and ephemeral distractions of Real Life, this edition of the Critic's Quill is being brought to you by yours-truly. (Does Real Life actually exist? Can't say I've noticed it myself.)

Now this is a very special issue, it marks the demi-anniversary of the Critic's Quill! Not much survives for six months on TWC (least of all our publication schedule), even our editor's name has changed! We have (yet another) new layout this time which I am hoping will make it easier for you to find the exact pieces you want to read.

You will find this issue has something of a SonOfAlexander theme, thanks to a flurry of output from that valued contributer (but he really is going to have to take more care with his medication in future).

Please be warned that the opinions of my writers are just that, opinions. If any author feels they have been mistreated, then do by all means post your case here.

Anyway, this issue is bursting with no less than seven reviews, plus an interview with noted AARtist JerichoOnlyFan, and some sage advice on AAR writing (both how to write, and what to write about).

I hereby commend this issue to the readership...

Your humble servant, [user]Juvenal[/user]

Table of Contents

• Interview with JerichoOnlyFan
• Review: Rise of the Orc
• Review: Nobody Expects the Spanish Inquisition
• Review: The Battle of Asculum
• Review: The Survival of Catalunya
• Review: Multi AAR - Of Destiny and Of Duty, a Galatian AAR
• Review: Timurid Apocalypse
• Review: A united God loving Europe
• Article: How do AARtists choose what to write about?
• Article: The Code of the Order of AAR Writers

Interview Section

An Interview With [user]JerichoOnlyFan[/user]

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

1. What inspired you to write your AAR 'The Proud Blood of Germania'?
That’s a tough one. I had read many AARs like yours and like Red October’s and I got interested in the method, and I thought that I could do at least as good as some of the best AARs out there, so I decided to start one. I browsed throughout the pages of the AAR section and saw only EB, RS, Roman AAR, Random Hellenic Faction AAR..... So I decided to make a barbarian AAR, then I browsed through the faction unit rosters and I chose the Germanics given their diversity of troops. And so I started writing.

2. So you liked the German faction. Do you mostly play as barbarian factions, or are Rome/Greece/Carthage more your bag?
My thing is Carthage actually, always good to crush those silly Scipii, elephants and all. I really like Carthage, but playing barbarians is great fun to me. The berserkers are really cool to watch and the cavalry kicks arse, so yes playing barbarian is my bag as you say it, I love Carthage as well though.

3. What would you consider to be the weak points of your writing?
I’m guessing you are familiar with it, but creating a character and sticking with it through to the very end is quite tough. The part concerning making a coherent history is difficult as well, how to interpret what is going on in the campaign map? How can I introduce such and such movements into the main history? Things like that.

4. It varies from person to person, but would you say that you go on TWC for the history more than the RTW, or vice versa?
I love RTW, it’s one of my favourite games of all time, and I didn’t know TWC existed until little time ago; so finding it and joining it has been a double gift. I have been able to talk about the game I love and have been able to read some great histories by some writers that have capabilities of publishing in hard paste books, so it has been a shared interest by my part; I want to make a good history and if I can do it through this awesome game (RTW), all the better.

5. As you clearly like RTW a lot (though if you're reading this interview I think that goes for you too ), do you have any mods or not, as you chose to do your AAR in RTW Vanilla?
Mods... No, I haven’t got any mods I’m playing RIGHT NOW, mostly due to the fact I only discovered TWC recently, of course when I joined the forums I was like... in utter awe of the amount of mods in the joint. I have played Roma Surrectum, the Fourth Age (LOTR inspired mod), both of them are great and I had tons of fun playing with them, and that’s about it of my experience with mods, though I want to try some more in the future.

6. Do you think that your AAR would have been even better if it was on RS or EB?
What I have heard most about on EB and experimented with on RS was the increased AI capabilities, although I was pleasantly surprised with the AI in my vanilla campaign. Recently, they actually tried to flank me, and they destroyed 3 out of 4 of my phalanxes with that tactic, unexpected to say the least, so as far as AI goes, I think it would have been the same. Now respecting the visual stuff, I would have liked to use Roma Surrectum but ultimately decided that the pictures were to be in second terms compared to the history, so I decided to use the Vanilla RTW. You see, I didn’t want to become *something pretty to look at* and I don’t think I’m that good with pictures anyway, so using RS or Vanilla is ultimately the same for me.

7. It's true that RS is less concerned with history than EB (though that may change with RS2), but the Vanilla RTW is known for being very historically inaccurate. But would you really be so concerned that it would make you change mod?
I better get me a fire-proof vest, for I may get flamed by my response. I wasn’t concerned about being historically accurate, you see in the end it’s kinda irrelevant if the mod is historically accurate for it is the writer who is going to give that sense of authenticity, and besides from my point of view, the historical accuracy of some mods (*cough EB cough*) can be quite overwhelming for a reader and it also restricts in some way the creative flow. Vanilla RTW gave me the freedom to move and expand as I liked (*cough phalanxes origins story cough*). I’m very happy as to how my Vanilla campaign is developing, as it offers a wide spectrum of action, many paths for me to choose, many histories to deliver, and I will eventually choose one path and stick to it. This sense of randomness, if you will, is quite enjoyable to me and besides it adds some challenge in tying up the history together.

8. Very good, very good... New subject. What sort of games do you like to play as well as RTW?
Shooters and adventure have been my stuff recently: Star Wars game as well, like Jedi Academy, God of War and Road to Hill 30 (WW2 Shooter) have been amongst my time consuming activities.

We can’t forget Age of Empires 2 - I still go old school with that game. Some survival horror, (Kuon) but not really my thing.

Also I would like to recommend a game called Katamary Damacy. It’s great fun, it has no story and I can’t classify it into a genre, but it’s like nothing you have ever seen, and the music is great too.

9. What contributions do you make to TWC other than your AAR?
Well, whenever I see someone asking a question that I can answer with certainty, I go and answer it. I also tread in many subsections of TWC: you can find me talking about a new disc in the Arts section, or you can hear my wisdom (yeah right) in the great halls of the Athenaeum. I also participate in the Universitas Ludus Olympus forum, where you can hear me talking about football and other sports. I can throw a helping hand in the Personal Help and Advice from time to time, and I try to stay in touch with videogames news in the Circus Maximus.

10. How do you like to relax when away from TWC?
I’m the kind of guy who pours some whisky in a glass, lights up a cigarette and puts Franky Sinatra on the stereo, that’s when I go for deep relaxation. Other than that I find the act of writing quite relaxing, also I enjoy playing football (or soccer if that’s how you roll) and just venting things out in the field. Also I enjoy going to clubs on the weekends with a bunch of friends: funny and relaxing.

11. Good ideas . Well, thank you for the interview, and to round it off, one last question - any tips for any keen-to-learn AARtists to be out there?
It was no problem at all answering your questions. Thanks for the interview, my advice for anyone who wants to enter the writers chopping block is: Read a lot, take a deep breath, and take the plunge into AAR-tistry.

Many thanks to AARtist JerichoOnlyFan for taking this interview, who continues to write his long running and widely successful RTW Vanilla AAR, The Proud Blood of Germania.

[user]SonOfAlexander[/user]

AAR Review Section

Rise of the Orc
A Third Age: Total War AAR by Kallum and Basilacius

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Overview
This AAR offers an intriguing start as it is amongst the very few dual AARs out there, with such an exceptionally unique team - Kallum, the all time veteran and CQ writer, and Basilacius, a complete unknown.

Whilst Kallum may be my fellow writer, friend, CQ contributor and a mentor of sort, I feel utterly obliged to inform that I am keeping my objective approach to this AAR and will review it as one of the ordinary.

This AAR offers very strong pillars of support for a very good story, a nice display of pictures that does not hinder the story at all and the aspects of an AAR we all love to see, it is pretty evident that Kallum brought his skill forward... But there are issues to be addressed.

Writing, Punctuation and Grammar
Whilst one cannot complain much of the wording or sentences in this AAR as they are usually more than believable, there are those lines that make me want to crawl into a cave due to the fact that they are just unfitting and, in lack of a better phrase, lacking in quality.

To add to that, there is the occasional grammar mistake, that may not hinder the whole integrity of the AAR, but it bothers the reader's eye as they repeat themselves several times.

“This is so boring.” One of the Gondorian soldiers wined.

As I've repeated in many AARs, it is true that the characters will have human characteristics as getting quite restless or bored, but having one say "This is so boring" is simply unfitting - As instead you he could say something humoristic, sarcastic or just sophisticated in order to convey the same concept;

"And here we are, once more, on the verge of death by boredom, oh, where is our savior?" - Such a sentences conveys the same message and also may rise a chuckle or a smile in the eyes of the readers and would make them see the writer as a much more sophisticated AARtist.

With an AAR with such a small font and such a faded out color, the wordings can be very hard to read or comprehend, and the grammar inconveniences - Which I call such as they are not really errors - Can be quite irritating to read. What I mean, is that the speech of the characters is very hard to define who says what;

“Where did you saw him?” “Nowhere, but his magic was here, I can feel it.” “Hmmm, perhaps the wizard of many colors, perhaps does he know more.” The Dark Lord said.

From what I gathered the first time I read this, the character named The Dark Lord spoke three times with a pause, but instead it was his servant speaking once and the Dark Lord speaking twice - It can get quite confusing.

A better way to do this might be to start each speech in a different line, this may make updates longer but it makes them so much easier to read that it's simply worth it:

“Where did you saw him?”
“Nowhere, but his magic was here, I can feel it.”
“Hmmm, perhaps the wizard of many colors, perhaps does he know more.” The Dark Lord said.

With that, I will also add that the sentence had a timing error in it, since they are talking of a past deed, it cannot be that he can still feel his "Magic" - It happened in the past, thus;

“Nowhere, but his magic was here, I can feel it.”

Should be;

“Nowhere, but his magic was here, I could feel it.”

Whilst some people may call me a grammar-Nazi for this, I believe that if English teachers can decrease 8 points from your test because of it, I can allow myself to remind you of it. It's small grammar mistakes, but they are numerous.

Pictures
With little to none to say of the pictures, all I can is that this AAR does an amazing work with those pictures and is not reliant on said pictures, not at all. To add to that, the pictures are also quite very well timed and amazingly done - As an AARtist I know that pictures can be very hard to time, but as example of perfect timing, I brought forth a piece of art from Rise of the Orc:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Critique
Under no circumstances is this AAR bad, it is actually very good, but it has grammar errors and punctuation errors that can make the reading experience much of a burden, with that I blame the lack of publicity solely on that due to the fact that the excellent writing deserves and would've gotten more exposure, if it was coherent.

The storyline is rather solid, however I feel it is quite too general for me, rather than focusing on one character and building it, the writers tend to ignore the emotions of the characters completely and move straight to the action - This caused me to almost detach completely from the AAR and should be worked on.

With that said, it is a solid, very nice story to read and can be very fun.
My advice to the writers; Think about your sentence, build it in your mind, and then write it. And don't be afraid to think it over if you see it doesn't fit, the longer the update takes to write - The better it gets.

Conclusion
Basilacius completely surprised me with his very nice writing, and it is clear that Kallum has mentored another student as he had me - And Kallum's experience is more than evident in this AAR, this is, without a doubt, NOT an AAR to miss.

Review by [user]Nazgûl Killer[/user]

Nobody Expects the Spanish Inquisition
A Stainless Steel AAR by [user]The Flying Dutchman[/user]

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Overview
As the title suggests, this AAR is a comedy and nothing more, not attempting to build a storyline or the such - It attempts to humorously bring the subject of Total War unto your screen - And I can't say it failed.

Writing
Sadly, the AAR has pretty shallow jokes and responses to situations, yet despite this it does not fail to make you chuckle, not at all.

This AAR has sometimes unbelievable jokes as the writer manages to combine aspects of real life, internet and Total War into one AAR, creating a very successful and funny atmosphere to this AAR, making the reader smile or chuckle plenty of times.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Alfonso: A hacker?
Dr. Hax: HAAAAAXXXX!!!
Chuckles: Oh crap.

With that said, this AAR has a bundle of shallow jokes that make me shake my head thinking that the writer can do better...

Maria: If I your brother, will you mine?
Teresa: Damn right sister!

Pictures
Naturally, the pictures in this game are unbelievably hilarious and coherent with the jokes very nicely, the AAR is not picture reliant at all and implements pictures from the real world, the internet and the Total War world to allow for deeper and funnier jokes at times.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Critique and Conclusion
It is very true that I have very little to write of this AAR as comedies rarely need a solid storyline of sort, but this AAR could do much better if it had better and deeper, more sophisticated jokes - and I especially hope that Dutchman would write more serious AARs later on, as he has the writing gift and knows how to bring a smile upon one's face, implementing this into a more serious AAR with comic reliefs could make one amazing piece of writing that might just rival the best of the AARtists here.

Whilst this is not an AAR I would recommend whole-heartedly, this is not an AAR I would also tell you to miss, it is a very nice comic relief from life, taking itself lightly and a nice read.
Good luck, Dutchman! I hope to see more.

Review by [user]Nazgûl Killer[/user]

The Battle of Asculum
A Diadochi:TW Battle Report by [user]Magister Equitum[/user]

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Background
Buried away in the RTW Mod forums is Diadochi Total War by [user]RedFox[/user]. Most members of TWC are now post-RTW, and I imagine that a mod that apparently devotes itself to lines of pikemen poking ineffectually at each other in barren featureless deserts may not sound all that appealing.

Nevertheless, Diadochi is a labour of love, with a small but appreciative community. The mod grew out of [user]DimeBagHo[/user]'s Extended Greek Mod and came out of beta in May of this year. It has two campaigns, 305BC dealing with the wars of Alexander's successors (the aforementioned Diadochi), and 279BC (same start as vanilla RTW).

If you play Epirus in 279BC, then you are likely to find yourself re-fighting the Battle of Asculum against the Romans in order to secure your foothold in southern Italy. This was one of the infamous “Pyrrhic Victories” that led Pyrrhus to abandon his ambitions in Italy to try his luck elsewhere. So the challenge for Diadochi TW is to deliver a similarly bruising experience to the experienced RTW player.

The Battle Report
The battle begins with the Epirote army deployed on a road running along the foot of an imposing slope topped by a watchtower. Unfortunately a large Roman army occupies the heights, and it must be defeated without heavy casualties to the irreplaceable veterans of King Pyrrhus.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Although RedFox has published a guide for how to tackle the Romans head-on, the author Magister Equitum decides to flank left in order to face the Romans on more equal terms.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

The Romans respond by attacking the weak Epirote left, flowing around the flank of the leftmost phalanx, it takes Pyrrhus himself with his elite cavalry to stabilise the flank. Meanwhile the Epirote secret weapon, a squadron of elephants, charges into the opposite flank and starts rolling up the Roman line.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

While the Romans are busy dodging elephants, the Epirote Phalanx is able to march slowly into contact without being peppered with pila, and the Epirote cavalry are able to reach a flanking position from which they can look down on the impending Armageddon.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

With the elephants all down, the Romans actually manage to create a line to face the oncoming Phalanx, this unit of Principes does great slaughter against several Epirote formations sent to kill it.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

But eventually the unbroken Phalanx does its work and the Romans are routed.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Writing Style
This isn't a story, Magister Equitum is writing a straight battle report. He gives us a good understanding of how he played the battle, his plans and how the enemy moves surprised him. He lets the pictures do most of the talking for him.

Critique
The pictures are of fairly low-resolution settings with Large unit size (120 average per unit). They are all full screens showing the UI with no cropping. The off-screen unit arrow and the cursor are also usually visible. Nevertheless, the pictures are clear and relevant and provide a good storyboard of the battle. I found myself thinking about different approaches I would have used if I had been in charge and wondering how the AI would have reacted.

The author manages to convey the feeling of fighting a phalanx army in Diadochi TW quite well. The rock of the Phalanx and the need to keep it together. The constant problem of guarding the flanks with insufficient light troops, and the killing power of the Heteroi cavalry.

It seems to me that this is almost the ideal situation for the RTW engine. The AI handles Romans quite well, they are strong, flexible and manoeuvrable while the player is handicapped by the need to control and protect their slow moving phalanx.

I also appreciated the comments from other players on the thread. It was obvious that everyone was interested in the conundrum of winning Asculum without serious loss, a prerequisite for being able to carry the campaign into the Roman heartlands.

Magister Equitum also delivers a second battle report in this thread where his depleted army, trying to capture Arpium to claim the spoils of its initial victory, faces another Roman full-stack and the phrase “Last Man Standing” gets dangerously close to coming true.

Conclusion
I'm glad I came across this battle report, it has made Diadochi TW much more real (and attractive) for me. The Epirus campaign has been crafted to be a challenge, with the player as Pyrrhus feeling quite isolated at Tarantum facing seemingly inexhaustible Roman manpower, and the disinterest of the supposed Greek allies of Croton and Syracuse. Indeed, only today someone posted their incredulity at the difficulty of fighting his way to Rome against a torrent of Roman armies!

The actual battle of Asculum was also won by the elephants, despite the Roman use of anti-cavalry wagons (equipped with fire pots and long spikes). It was after this battle that Pyrrhus made possibly his most famous remark: “One more such victory, and we shall be undone”.

Review by [user]Juvenal[/user]

The Survival of Catalunya
A Sicilian Vespers AAR by [user]Beer Money[/user]

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

(Editor's Note: Kallum takes a second go at this AAR, already reviewed by Naz in CQ Issue IX)

In this AAR of Beer Money we follow the duchy of Barcelona under the leadership of Guiffre, since the year it was founded with all the troubles that a young infant state comes across as it grows up. In the very first post we learn a thing or two about the situation and in the update that follows the “initial players” are introduced.

Immediately something strikes me in the eye. The writer chooses to use the standard font of the twc site. Everything is better than that! Yes I know that it is a bit whiny to complain about the font but a ugly font can really turn me off.

However for the rest I can’t say that I have any wrongs the writer needs to work on. His victories are astonishing, especially in the beginning you begin to think when is the empire going to fall down? It has some enthralling battles and when a new enemy joins the scene the story get all the more enjoyable. The story of an infant state fighting for a place in the world is not unique but the writer still manages to suck you right in and keep you interested (a compliment to his writing skills). And his short updates are pleasant to read, even though I would’ve loved to see some big battles highlighted with more screenshots and more text. In light of that I also have to say that Beer Money succeeds in one of the hardest tasks when writing an AAR: to find an even balance between battle and non battle related updates.

Another compliment I feel obliged to make is the development of the author. With the story the author’s skills progress rapidly. When you need a smaller amount of screenshots to point out what you mean then you know you are on the right track!

The last piece of joy I want to spread is something that I personally found a great find. Beer Money begins every update with a year! You get the idea you are reading a real history report as seen through the eyes of those who played in it!

Reading this over I can imagine that some of you think that this is to short and that I’m being sarcastic, those of you who know me better know that I’m usually not this enthusiastic about something. And yes it is short but I shamefully have to admit that I can't find anything critical to point down that I haven't said. If he just changes his font.........

Review by [user]Kallum[/user]

Of Destiny and Of Duty, a Galatian AAR
A multi-mod AAR by [user]Ariovistus Maximus[/user]

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

AM’s AAR is one of a small yet growing list of ‘Multi AAR’s being created on the RTW AAR forum, and this is one of the most worthy of all the RTW AARs. It really disappoints me that few people read this - reader, you are missing out! (unless you do read AM’s works, in which case I humbly apologise J ) It contains drama, characters with a strong sense of direction and determination and pictures that could bring a tear to a baboon’s eye (a good thing ). But surely if not that many people read it, it can’t be that good, can it?

Really?

*cough cough* …

‘Yes, SonOfAlexander’

Let’s start with pictures, a good, obvious AAR topic. Really, there is very little anyone can complain about with the vistas presented by AM. On one early occasion, he used a picture with a Gamespot watermark, but clearly accepted it afterwards and at least it was a good image used to full effect - an honest AARtist if I ever saw one! Sometimes, he uses ’scenic shots’ as he aptly terms them. Again, he admits that he saw the idea used first by Chirugeon, another AARtist. These can help readers visualise the landscape throughout the story, especially in the chapters with no pictures, and are in my opinion, an excellent idea when used sparingly, as AM does. A note on my mention of him being ‘an honest AARtist’. I love to see mentions of ideas, used like historical sources. The sense of learning is so apparent with AM, which you certainly could say forms most of my review later on.

Just one of many ‘up close and personal’ pictures that litter this AAR. They give an excellent feeling of each man as a warrior, not as part of a unit.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

This is one of my favourites - another shot which clearly shows the mood, setting and actions of AM’s characters - exactly the purpose a picture in an AAR should serve.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

The AAR was clearly planned well. Apparently, AM had about 4 chapters written before publishing began - a wise move that ‘oldies’ like myself failed to make. His introduction was short and sweet, telling us exactly what we wanted to know and then giving us a lovely first chapter. Here he introduces the story - with one of the 2 central characters, John the Englishman. This man is a crusader in Constantinople, and his friend Godwin is developed as another main character. For the next chapter or so, we see a well-timed little piece of background on John, as he fights in Britain and gains his friendship with Godwin.

Later, the emphasis is switched to another main character, Kyros, and his brother Artan. I certainly have never seen an AAR with 2 central characters, each with their own sidekick character, an important person to guide them and follow them on their adventures. The Galatian story follows Kyros military rise, and destruction wreaked by armies in the land of Galatia. His manipulation of Pontus on EB as Galatia and the factions used in M2TW is completely believable, and the plots converge and narrow to form a lovely pair. That seems to be the theme for this AAR: 2 time periods, 2 characters, 2 backgrounds, 2 sidekicks, 2 pairs of comrades, etc.

The writing style of AM is no deterrent to reading his works. As per the rest of Of Duty Of Destiny, the pervading feeling is utter realism and truth. Look at this extract, taken from Mark Chapter 10 Verse… well no, it’s not really a Bible verse, but from the first time we see Kyros and Artan.

“You may be successful in your lot,” Kyros shot back, “but you will never achieve anything greater. You can hunt; good for you. You can throw pointed sticks and swing a club. I will rise to power to command thousands like you. Who will bring honor and protection to the family then? Look at the great and famous men of our people. Did not they all possess great learning?”

“Bah! Look at you; your smooth clothes and pretty words. I can hardly stand the sight of you.” Artan was beginning to lose his temper.

“And I can hardly stand your smell,” said Kyros wryly.

I love the dialogue, and this is only one of many such pieces. I'll say it again: I love it. Many pieces where characters throw statements at each other, with a few adjectival strands draped loosely over it to provide some descriptive dressing followed by a quick riposte from the other. It creates a quick, punchy style. Some might say it is lacking in some crucial element, which I might term a slight compromise - they may feel that it is not descriptive enough to feel like an intellectual novel, but not quick enough to run through smashing the reader out of the way. Personally, I think it's great, but some may be slightly deflected by the lack of particular direction.

Finally, there is one crucial element of AM’s AAR I must discuss and that is the change in the standard of his AAR as it has continued. Some may say that the chapters are short (Almost, but not a big problem I feel) and that it is a bit middling; an AAR that will not grow big. One - rubbish. Two - If this AAR isn’t good enough, then by god, what happens when he comes back for a second shot at it?

You see, I have noticed that as this AAR has continued, it has changed. It has really significantly improved. I’d be lying if I said that mine, or indeed any other AAR I know has improved as steadily and thoroughly. Oh sure, writers often take a chapter or two, eg Ishtar Gate, to settle into a comfortable style, but no-one, save Antiochos (almost ), can write a perfect AAR from the beginning. AM clearly accepted that right from the start.

As I said, he clearly did his homework, writing ahead and leading on with a strong beginning. Continually, he has scattered posts on the AAR of self-criticisms, thoughts, questions for readers, and has really built on feedback, mistakes pointed out and changes suggested. He has taken his own strengths and honed them to perfection, and that is why I think his AAR should have a wider audience than it does. It started off good, Ok, average, but has been professionally trimmed to an elite standard worthy of recognition.

The only question we need ask of AM is… when will his next AAR begin after Of Duty Of Destiny?

Review by [user]SonOfAlexander[/user]

Timurid Apocalypse
A M2TW AAR by [user]ALZU[/user]

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

When I first saw what this AAR was about, I jumped up and down, grinning like a madman. It sounds like a great idea, and a simple one too (and in my book, simpler is ALWAYS better) - play for ages, building up a really stable empire, and letting one AI faction grow massive (depends on the mod - EB = Ptolemaics, Vanilla = Egypt and the Romans, but on MT2W (apparently) it’s the Timurids) and then having an epic war of endless, massive battles and seeing if you can repulse them and win the doomed looking war. Simple…

Of course, dwelling on the plot would be superfluous here, not only as it was taken from an original by Dunecat, but also as the idea was thoroughly discussed in the last issue in a spirited article by Kallum. So I am more keen to talk about layout, images and writing ability.

Unfortunately, these few features I can talk about trip over themselves quite a lot. The layout isn’t inventive or interesting - just picture, line of text, picture, line of text. It could do with some originality and, as offensive as it sounds… some effort. I realise that putting these updates together takes a lot of time, but that doesn’t make words appear on the screen. And the text itself is just stating facts, e.g.

Earl Haakon leads a cavalry charge, and is surprisingly victorious.

Isn’t that a disappointing application of such a great idea?

But do not despair - ALZU’s creation is not doomed to fail. Far from it.

Now, this AAR so far has been very popular. Indeed, it would have been one of, if not the greatest landslide victory ever in an MAARC, if it hadn’t been for an unfortunate and I believe very strict incident involving advertising. So why, if it has nothing to recommend it to the reader, is it doing so well?

Well for a start, although the pictures are often quite samey, they aren’t so bad as it would immediately seem - yes the battles always seem to be the same, but is it really that bad repeatedly showing large scale, epic cavalry charges? And the stratmap shots are good - he doesn’t spam them, but shows us what we need to, and indeed want to see. They certainly work well in showing us the progress of the campaigns, whereas many AARtists are found either showing us what’s happening in every home in the land, or simply revealing every 50 years what’s going on in the capital.

And I think ALZU has tackled the problem of many updates looking very similar. He has talked about how long he wants it to be, realistic yet ambitious targets for campaigns, and how long Timurid Apocalypse should be as a whole. Also, he has (in the last update) started a ‘Grand Master Plan, a series of invasions and incursions designed to finish off the Timurid Empire’ - a set of conjoined campaigns which, by use of several pincer movements, plan to take control of central and parts of eastern Europe.

(taken from the last update - shows the fleets in the Mediterranean) Clearly, the minimap shows there is still a long way to go before the ‘Tims’ are annihilated. But I digress.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

If you don’t like an AAR, you could always write your own version - and with this AAR, many have done so! As Kallum describes in more detail, many Timurid AARs have started in exactly the same vein as this one. So even if at first it looks vulgar, light hearted and unappetising, read further in Timurid Apocalypse, and prepare for a massive shock from the Danish underdogs!

Review by [user]SonOfAlexander[/user]

A united God loving Europe
A Medieval 2 AAR by The Dutch Devil

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Introduction
Hi everyone, I’ll be reviewing “A united God loving Europe” today. This AAR, written by The Dutch Devil, caught my eye because of its unusual beginning. Instead of starting off at the beginning of the campaign The Dutch Devil starts his AAR beyond turn 200 of his game. Scotland is in control of the British Isle’s, Scandinavia, the Iberian Peninsula and some more small territories. The goal of the king of the Scots is very ambitious.. To unite Europe into a single empire.. A Scottish empire. Only time can tell us whether this goal shall be successful or not.

Writing
As his username suggests, The Dutch Devil’s mother tongue is not English but Dutch. This shows in his story, in which there are some small problems with spelling and phrasing. There are some minor spelling mistakes like this one:

The battle that followed this brutal and sudden charge was a short but harsh one 500 bloodthirsty Scottish footsoldiers all equiped with upgraded armor supplied by the king.

Also some sentences are rather weird and out of place with odd grammar in certain places.

Until he suddenly noticed that his whole unit stood 3 lines back and suddenly came to the cold realisation that he was surrounded by bloodthirsthy French soldiers.

The repetition of “suddenly” in this sentence may not seem like a big deal but it’s something that broke my train of thought while I was reading. It is little problems like this that can make the difference between a good and a great AAR.

I kept in mind that English is not his main language so overall I’m quite pleased. English isn’t my first language either, so I write in Microsoft Word to try to make sure there aren’t any spelling errors in my own work.

Screenshots
The main point that I found lacking in this AAR were the screenshots. They are un-edited and slightly sore on the eye.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

The screenshots are certainly the least impressive element in the AAR. Those small errors in grammar and spelling are not enough to break the story but together with the pictures they do let it down somewhat. My tip to The Dutch Devil is, get a Photobucket account. It includes a simple photo-editing tool which gives you the opportunity to adjust your images. Crop out the map, the unit cards, etc… This will make a big difference to the eyes and make the whole AAR more enjoyable to read.

Conclusion
All in all this AAR is still not quite up to the standard of some of the great AARs around, but it’s certainly one worth reading. I’m hoping that The Dutch Devil will take my tip to crop his screenshots and use a spelling checker in future AARs. He is a fairly new member with under 100 posts and this is probably his first AAR, so there is no shame for minor faults and I’m sure his skills will improve.

Review by [user]Ratbag[/user]

Article Section

How do AARtists choose what to write about?

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

It's so often overlooked, yet surely the most basic part of an AAR. It must also be the first thing the writer thinks about when they write an AAR - what's it going to be about? And it is crucially important, yet some people clearly don't give it much thought.

Rome AARs
The sub-title says it all really: Rome. The most commonly used topic for AARs on the RTW sub-forum is that of the Roman Empire itself. In a sense this is pretty likely - Rome is one of the few factions that features in every single mod (but not Vanilla ironically enough, if you know what I mean). But really it is mostly lack of originality. I'd say almost half of RTW AARs are Rome based. Don't get me wrong, that doesn't limit the AAR - look at AustenBin's legendary Pontic Expedition, an AAR like any other Rome based one - that is, in terms of plot base. However, it's easy to see why so many rubbish Rome AARs clog up the forum when you compare them to this particular example. They simply either show the expansion of Rome as happened in history, the 2nd Punic war, or a particular campaign in some country. The last one often works well, as AustenBin showed, but of course, initial ideas aren't everything. But more on that later.

Other popular choices of RTW AAR include Greek factions, including Macedonia and the Diadochi (Seleucids, Ptolemaics, etc.). These are slightly more varied, and it's easier to see the AARtist themselves coming through because of the more original storyline base. But even though I seem to see a Mediterranean monopoly emerging, Carthage, Iberia, Lusotannan (depending on mod) rarely get a look in. And when writers do stray north of the seas, more often than not the Getae/Dacians are the source of their creativity. Although that last topic has not been... worn out anywhere near as thoroughly as the southern choices. Barbarian AARs are quite rare, the only one springing to mind being JerichoOnlyFan's.

If new writers want ideas, then for this area I'd suggest: DON'T do Rome, or if you do, make it specific and provide some in-depth characters. Greek factions - brink-of-defeat is not a bad idea here, as would an AAR that went north or west instead of staying and fighting other Greeks... maybe after killing them all ?

Medieval AARs
Now obviously I'm not going to go into quite so much depth here, as I am less knowledgeable on the subject. But whilst I look around at the moment, I see that Eastern Fever clearly reigns quite a bit here too, although the other main focus for AARs either seems to be Spain or factions from the British Isles, although Venice also seems to be popular (a bit). I think the British focus comes from the fact that in ancient times Britain was either similar to the rest of Northern Europe, or Roman. In MT2W / SS, not only are conflicts between the english and other parts of Britain 'available', but the idea of crusades, knights and a format that can relate much more closely to modern England than before.

The Eastern faction's frequency surely stems from the fact that this is the era of knights in armour, crusades, and of course, the Muslim caliphates. In fact, it seems to me to be a similar mind frame to the Diadochi wars almost, although there is no concept there of two religions, two blocks of powers that are certainly separate but united against the Christians/Muslims. To me, there is a lot more room here for creativity and inventive ideas for AAR factions to use - Portugal and most Central European factions seem rarely used, and like the Getae in RTW, the Italian principalities are commonly used and liked, but not yet exhausted and overused.

Empire Total War
Now I know even less about ETW, but that doesn't make me blind. Funnily enough, I am witnessing the opposite here, although it is to expected. As you saw going from RTW to M2TW, what factions people tend to choose often depends on historically, 'where the war was' - where the centre of the world was, economically and politically. As the balance shifts from Egypt/the Middle East to Western/Central Europe, so people choose different factions in ETW.

There are a good deal of Prussian AARs, and many British too. Very few, as I said, are from the East, now poorer than the rest of Europe. Many focus on America and India, as would be expected with the new inflated map system of ETW. I am pleased to see a great deal more of AARs which are breaking the mould - one about Malta here, one about Greece there (common in RTW, but SO different in the 17th century (it is 17th right?)).

A Central Character?
Of course, choosing an interesting faction to play as isn't everything. One of the key things is characters. Some AARs pivot around a single person - some involve a few people central to the plot, a group, or, in a sense none - AARs where the events of a campaign/faction are displayed but are no characters or events are dwelled upon before moving on to the next event.

The other factor that has always been in people's minds is the status of their character. Now as soon as anyone thinks characters, social status, AARs, many will shout 'SHARPE!' and leave immediately. Personally, I think of the Lausard series by Richard Howard (Read them! they are ten times better than rubbish old Sharpe), but the point is that many will turn into a God-Bless-America, Disney style he fights on in the face of adversity and wins morally despite everything... fest.

Many portray the fates of Kings, or rising princes... others choose to champion the ordinary man and watch him as he fights heroically without gaining notoriety. A frequent case, as with Sharpe is the peasant-becomes-the-leader-of-a-Legion idea - low man goes high. It can be a bit samey, but it can be done right, as the great Saienga proved with his AAR The Balance of Vengeance and Honor.

Something Different!
My conclusion is this: to the AARtist looking for inspiration, be UNIQUE. Instead of trawling the forums and looking for what IS there, look for what ISN'T there. Fixiwee did this, producing new ideas in the form of his AAR (the only AAR I can think of to try and represent the history of men over several mods, also introducing the Multi-AAR concept), and now, after much hard work, he has reached the top of the MAARC (we eagerly await the tie-breaker results!).

Yes, browse and learn how to write well and to layout well, etc, but don't copy everyone else - you must retain your own style. That's how the great AARtists have become great. As I thought through when I examined factions, look for what's missing. People will be attracted to it - it's new, it's different, it raises eyebrows. When people see another RS Rome AAR, they often simply say 'Oh, not another one.' and forget about it altogether.

[user]SonOfAlexander[/user]

The Code of the Order of AAR Writers

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

In my opinion an anniversary issue must hold something unique, something that doesn’t return every month. Therefore I’ve decided to make a list, since we all love lists (the list of all the goodies of Dominion of the Sword, the list of improvements that hopefully the next sequel in the TW genre will possess) and this one contains tips and rules that should be considered by any AAR writer of this site who wants to improve his or her AAR. Hopefully you’ll enjoy my little effort, I’m sure I did when I thought about it.

1) One writes with the intention to entertain not to gain rep or any other form of reward.

2) The greatest story is written under the greatest stress, so if you are angry with your teacher or parents and you want to punch a hole in the wall, don’t. Physiological studies revealed that the creative centre of our brain has a peak when being in an intense emotional state, so if you want to grab the next MAARC prize, you know what to do when you are feeling down or hurt again.

3) if you are uncertain about your writing skills go write in the TOTW first! There you can sharpen your skills and learn techniques and tactics that will help you in your further career as a writer!

4) Don’t copy the exact outline of someone else’s story, always ask for permission if you want to use something from another’s story.

5) 7 Days a month you are competitors, those other three weeks you are silent worshippers of each other’s work. If you are stuck on your story don’t be to hesitant to ask someone’s help, it’s a recognition of his or her work and a way of socializing.

6) When you are stuck on a certain point and you don’t know what your main character should do next, you must leave your work! Go jogging or cycling or in the worst case do homework, anything that makes you focus on something else then your update. When you force yourself to write no good will come out of it. It’ll never be excellent only mediocre at best and that’s not what you want (RULE ONE!!!!!!)

7) Time for a cliché: always try to be original, the more original you are the more entertaining your story is and the more admiration and thereby rep will fill your account.

8) When you receive criticism don’t be to arrogant to point your mouse immediately to the “report post” button. Sometimes their opinions are supported by a lot of readers and then you must do something about it!

9) When you decide to make an AAR and want to give it a real authentic feel, make sure you learn a bit about the faction’s history, learn some key military commands in the native language and learn some titles or offices. These small changes are the things that separate excellent AARs from mediocre or good AARs. The best way to learn about a nation is the thema devia in my opinion. Here you can find those patriotic national language only groups, who will be more then helpful to help you creating an AAR which makes their country shine like the brightest star.

10) A special tip for comedy AAR writers: make sure you aren’t repetitive. Look we have heard those epic one liners from 300 far to many times now! Surprise us with something new, perhaps a quote from the latest C-show that your female relatives are watching lately. And never be to shy to think of something funny yourself! There are 6 billion people breathing just like you, there must be someone there that also shares your sense of humor.

11) Don’t make deadlines or if you have to don’t throw them out in public. Chances are that you don’t make them and why should the reader pay attention to your goods when the delivery date is a lie.

12) Make sure your story has depth! When a story shows intriguing plots combined with all the shady figures that comes with it, I found that most readers don’t even notice the grammar and spelling mistakes you as a non English make.

13) If you do want to make sure that your story has a minimum amount of faults then I suggest that you write in MS Word. Word has a grammer and vocab check that you can easily switch on and of. That way you’ll slightly improve your English which isn’t only handy here at TWC but also in RL at school or in a later career.

14) Another cliché: Make sure that the faction you plan to follow through your campaign is one of your favourite factions. That way you won’t lose interest and that will make the story also a lot prettier to read as a whole

Fourteen rules and tips for you new AAR writers. Of course there are many more but I leave those open for you to fill in. If you can’t make a good story whilst following these rules then or you didn’t understood the meaning of these sentences or you are not destined to achieve greatness via the path of the AAR world. I hope you’ve enjoyed reading these rules, some are old and common but I hope that others are new but more importantly I hope you take your advantage from them.

[user]Kallum[/user]

From the Editor's Desk

Well there it is, we hope you liked it.

In case you are confused about any perceived similarity between CQ and the AAR section in the Eagle Standard, the fundamental difference is that Eagle Standard publishes news and summaries of AARs, while here at the mighty CQ our fearless writers provide you with in-depth reviews, instilled with passion, incisiveness and enthusiasm (not to mention quotes and pictures).

Any comments about this issue, or suggestions for what kinds of articles you would like to see in future editions of the CQ are most welcome. We want to keep the Quill fresh and relevant and have a feeling that this will probably involve writing the kind of pieces that you actually want to read.

If you did like our features and reviews, then please distribute your rep generously to our writers: [user]SonOfAlexander[/user], [user]Nazgûl Killer[/user], [user]Ratbag[/user] and [user]Kallum[/user].

Also a special mention for our banners, brought to you by talented artists [user]Giovi[/user], [user]Tzar[/user] and [user]Ratbag[/user] (again). They really brighten things up around here.

Farewell then... 'till Issue XIV.

[user]Juvenal[/user]

[Ratbag]

Huzzah for a half year of Critic Quill's!!

[Ariovistus Maximus]

Hurra! I've been looking forward to this for some time!

Thank you CQ staff and SoA!

[Major Darling]

Love it as always, chaps!

[Solid Snake]

Yay, my interview is in here!!! So cool. Great work as always.
Now onto updating my AAR!


EDIT: Cant see the pictures....weird

[Nazgûl Killer]

Hell yeah! Now time to work on the next one, eh?

[Juvenal]

Yay, my interview is in here!!! So cool. Great work as always.
Now onto updating my AAR!


EDIT: Cant see the pictures....weird

The Dr Hax picture wasn't showing due to a wayward double-quote - now fixed. The rest look OK to me. Unless of course you are referring to your own AAR, in which case I can't help.

[Solid Snake]

I mean the ones above the articles. Still cant see them

[Juvenal]

I mean the ones above the articles. Still cant see them

I've refreshed from my original text file because the edit because I made to put the 's into Nobody Expects the Spanish Inquisition corrupted the formatting.

I can see all the pictures myself.

[ALZU]

damn, i cant open the spoilers.

[Ratbag]

I had that too, you just need to refresh and it will be OK.

[ALZU]

There, I see it, good work again! This is why CQ is so much better ES

[Grouchio]

Har Har Har!! It seems my first AAR has been issued in the critic's quill!!

I actually finished this AAR, bored with the Aragonese faction I was with.

Also, I did start a new german AAR of much seriousness included last week, and believe me, it's going to be good.

[Saint Nicholas]

Great edition guys. Keep up the good work.

[Solid Snake]

Hmm, I can see the pictures now... like I said weird.
Anyways, I already complimented you on your great work on this issue, thanks go out to SonofAlexander whom gave me the honor to be interviewed for this month´s CQ.

[Kallum]

I still feel ashamed for reviewing an AAR that has already been done no offence of course to the great work of beer money but still

[Beer Money]

Kallum: Wow - thanks so much! Very humbled to get a glowing review from a TWC citizen and exceptional writer himself who's read it all!

Sorry about the font. However, as we're a good way into the story - its gotta stay. Ha. The next AAR storyline I do, I'll make sure to change it up.

In the meantime, still playing turns and theres a good way to go so hope to proivde some good reads along the way.

Again, much thanks for taking the time to review!

[Beer Money]

Also, hopefully you've seen I added more screenshots with chapter 2.

I just really didnt think Id get as involved as I would with the AAR so I didnt do as many screenshots in the beginning. Deep regrets over that one.

Anyways as always, any feedback is appreciated and glad so many have liked the story.

-BM

[Giovi]

awesome as always