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Thread: We have a winner. - Tale of The Week 58

  1. #1
    Hesus de bodemloze's Avatar The Gaul
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    Default We have a winner. - Tale of The Week 58

    Congratulations

    Juvenal has won Tale of the Week 58, congratulations on your victory.



    Greed
    We could have had it all. Fame, Respectability, even Love could be bought for
    the kind of money we would possess. All that was needed was a modicum of trust.
    Was that so much to ask?
    Charles was always the savvy one, worldly-wise, a natural salesman. My own
    talent towers above his, let down only by its narrowness. I could charm monkeys
    from the trees, yet couldn't persuade a philanthropist to give me a dime.
    But I must also give the Professor his due, he found the island. His unshakeable
    certainty, borne of obsession, drew us helplessly into his mad scheme. He was the
    only person ever to have turned Charles' power back on him, and in consequence
    we found ourselves backing his expedition with everything we owned.
    Still, it was all true! The island was there, just where the Professor had predicted,
    overshadowed by its smouldering volcano, verdant jungle on its slope slashed
    with lines of blackened devastation.
    We found the Salamander under a charred tree-trunk. Its twin aspects of beauty
    and menace transfixed me. It melted three of the cages we had brought before I
    mastered the trick of how to keep it calm. Like a snake charmer, I worked my
    will upon the creature enabling the others to lift it gently into the fourth cage
    using heavy-duty tongs.
    We were jubilant! The Professor especially as this was the culmination of his life's
    work. I still wonder how he must have felt when he discovered we had marooned
    him on his island and taken his most precious discovery for ourselves!
    But now I think it was a mistake, starting Charles along an unhealthy line of
    thought. He knew his time was coming. He would be the one to sell this marvel
    to the world, to make our fortunes and seal our place in history. At some point it
    must have occurred to him that I was no longer necessary, even though we had
    been together for almost every minute of our lives (except the first, when I had
    committed the unforgivable sin of becoming eldest).
    I tried to make him see he was making a mistake, but people have never been
    my forte, so I was unceremoniously dumped into this life-boat. Three days supply
    of food and a gallon of water my only reward for a lifetime together.
    ***
    Our little boat chugs resolutely on its auxiliary engine through heavy swell. I know
    the Salamander will awaken soon and without me there to soothe it, will become
    agitated. With emotion will come the expression of its powers, powers that Charles
    doesn't fully appreciate.
    Yes, there! I see the glow begin. It spreads as the wooden decking shrugs off its
    coating of brine, giving itself fully to the flame. Then, like a firework, the glow
    explodes into a thousand bright streamers as the boiler gives way. I feel the urge
    to applaud, and in the gloom, the boat appears to bow, before slipping quietly
    beneath the restless sea.
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  2. #2
    Nazgūl Killer's Avatar ✡Proud IDF Soldier✡
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    Default Re: We have a winner. - Tale of The Week 58

    Damn Juve, you're on fire!
    Congrats man!
    Rest in Peace, Andy (Calvin). April 28, 1975 - October 28, 2009
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  3. #3
    Theodotos I's Avatar Remember Calvin
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    Default Re: We have a winner. - Tale of The Week 58

    Hey, congrats!
    Visit my website to see the new video trailer for counterterrorism thriller Pandora's Grave. www.stephenwrites.com

    Son of PW

  4. #4
    Juvenal's Avatar love your noggin
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    Default Re: We have a winner. - Tale of The Week 58

    Thank you. Reading it again I find I still like it (although it could do with a tiny bit of rework). I was definitely thinking of Conan Doyle's Lost World when imagining the above, perhaps with a bit of King Kong thrown in after the third brandy.

    My ambition now is to write something so good even Theo votes for it.
    imb39 ...is my daddy!
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  5. #5
    Julius Barca the Great's Avatar Sōkō no yari
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    Default Re: We have a winner. - Tale of The Week 58

    Congratulations, Juvenal, on an excellent tale as well as a well-deserved win!
    Alea Iacta Est (The Die is Cast) - Gaius Julius Caesar
    An army of sheep led by a lion is better than an army of lions led by a sheep - Alexander the Great
    We will either find a way, or make one - Hannibal Barca

  6. #6
    SonOfAlexander's Avatar I want his bass!
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    Default Re: We have a winner. - Tale of The Week 58

    Well done Juvenal, well deserved win
    Personally im disappointed in myself, as although my entry was one of my best yet, it still wasnt good enough. Anyway, I saw Greed and realised it had been taken from me - i was correct. Once again, well deserved!
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  7. #7
    Juvenal's Avatar love your noggin
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    Default Re: We have a winner. - Tale of The Week 58

    Thanks. I know the feeling well, some of my own favourite efforts have got absolutely nowhere in the vote. Obviously good stories do have a better chance, but success isn't guaranteed and there is also a large degree of luck.

    In the end I take refuge in the fact that there is no absolute scale of story quality. There are as many measures as there are people to measure them, and sometimes an otherwise good story can fail simply because people don't like the style.
    imb39 ...is my daddy!
    See AARtistry in action: Spite of Severus and Severus the God


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