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Thread: 1 in 25 fathers "not the daddy"

  1. #1
    Epirote
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    Default 1 in 25 fathers "not the daddy"

    Up to one in 25 dads could unknowingly be raising another man's child, UK health researchers estimate.
    Increasing use of genetic testing for medical and legal reasons means more couples are discovering the biological proof of who fathered the child.
    The Liverpool John Moores University team reached its estimate based on research findings published between 1950 and 2004.
    The study appears in the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health.

    Biological father

    Professor Mark Bellis and his team said that the implications of so-called paternal discrepancy were huge and largely ignored, even though the incidence was increasing.
    In the US, the number of paternity tests increased from 142,000 in 1991 to 310,490 in 2001.
    Demand for testing has grown by a factor of 10 in the last decade in the UK, according to University Diagnostics, Teddington.
    The current level in the UK is somewhere between 8,900 and 20,000 tests per year.
    About 5,000 of these tests are instigated at the demand of the Child Support Agency to resolve who should be paying child maintenance.
    Others are done to investigate inherited health disorders and others for social reasons.
    The Liverpool team found that rates of cases where a father was not the biological father of his child ranged from 1% in some studies to as much as 30%.
    Experts have generally agreed that the rate is below 10%, with a 4% rate meaning that about one in 25 families could be affected.
    However, increasing use of genetic testing is likely to boost the rates of paternal discrepancy, say the authors.

    Important consequences
    Professor Bellis said the consequences of a man finding out that he is not the biological father of a child could be devastating.
    It can lead to relationship breakdown, mental health problems for both partners and even domestic violence, while the children involved can experience low self-esteem and anxiety.
    He said services and support should be available to minimise such negative consequences.
    However, even basic counselling is not always provided - some individuals order and receive test results by email or over a web site, he said.
    "Vital information is being delivered to people without very much thought about how it is going to affect them," he said.

    Counselling

    Rebecca Webster, a counsellor for private paternity testing company DNA Bioscience, who speaks to about 500 men each month about such decisions, said: "We will raise the issue about whether they have thought about the consequences both for them and all those involved.
    "Very often they are quite distressed and they want someone to talk to.
    "By the time they get the results a lot of people have prepared themselves. But it's a very emotional process, even if the result is the one they wanted.
    "In an ideal world, everyone should have counselling and it should be available on the NHS. Unfortunately, it's not."
    Adrienne Burgess of Fathers Direct called for a code of practice to ensure companies providing paternity tests also offer counselling.
    The NSPCC said fathers who find out they have been raising another man's child should remember that however angry they feel, they should not take this out on the child in any way.
    "The child will still regard the parent as their father. Rejection could be a devastating double blow for the child, " said a spokeswoman.
    Last edited by Epirote; August 11, 2005 at 02:56 AM.

  2. #2

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    Quote Originally Posted by Epirote
    Up to one in 25 dads could unknowingly be raising another man's child, UK health researchers estimate.
    I wonder what the statistics for U.S. are problably worse

  3. #3
    Odovacar's Avatar I am with Europe!
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    This fact is only good to tell us about the morality of many woman. Society make these woman to be too overconfident to care the man's feeling. Of course they don't tell the man, that they bear a children who is not his own. Who would be such a loser then to marry them? They make fun till they are thirthy, then they seek an idiot to work for them and to marry them. And the poor man works not even for his own blood...
    IN PATROCINIVM SVB HORSEARCHER
    quis enim dubitat quin multis iam saeculis, ex quo vires illius ad Romanorum nomen accesserint, Italia quidem sit gentium domina gloriae vetustate sed Pannonia virtute

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  4. #4
    Tom Paine's Avatar Mr Common Sense
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    Quote Originally Posted by Epirote
    Important consequences
    Professor Bellis said the consequences of a man finding out that he is not the biological father of a child could be devastating.
    It can lead to relationship breakdown, mental health problems for both partners and even domestic violence, while the children involved can experience low self-esteem and anxiety.
    He said services and support should be available to minimise such negative consequences.
    However, even basic counselling is not always provided - some individuals order and receive test results by email or over a web site, he said.
    "Vital information is being delivered to people without very much thought about how it is going to affect them," he said.
    Surely if there will be adverse consequences, you just shouldn't tell them? I mean, it makes little sense to needlessly (yes needlessly) hurt someone, and it makes no real difference wether or not the kid is their own surely, so long as said child is well treated?

    Odovocar: It also says something about men, who will have sex with a woman who is married. Logically they are just as amoral/immoral. And anyway, surely the mind is more important than the genes, and thus the effective father is more important than the biological one? I can't really understand what some of the fuss is about, beyond infidelity.
    Last edited by Ozymandias; August 11, 2005 at 05:43 AM.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by Squeakus Maximus
    Surely if there will be adverse consequences, you just shouldn't tell them? I mean, it makes little sense to needlessly (yes eedlessly) hurt someone, and it makes no real difference wether or not the kid is their own surely, so long as said child is well treated?
    Well said man in any parent relationship with kids, kids safety come first and then parents!

  6. #6
    Epirote
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    Quote Originally Posted by Odovacar
    This fact is only good to tell us about the morality of many woman. Society make these woman to be too overconfident to care the man's feeling. Of course they don't tell the man, that they bear a children who is not his own. Who would be such a loser then to marry them? They make fun till they are thirthy, then they seek an idiot to work for them and to marry them. And the poor man works not even for his own blood...
    Scary but so True.

    Most pretty women make fun with rich men trying to marry them so they don't move a finger later to work.
    If they get pregnant and the rich guy refuses to marry, they go back to some poor idiot who chased them before and make him (sex immediatly) believe the baby is theirs.
    Poor suckers.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by Epirote
    Scary but so True.

    Most pretty women make fun with rich men trying to marry them so they don't move a finger later to work.
    If they get pregnant and the rich guy refuses to marry, they go back to some poor idiot who chased them before and make him (sex immediatly) believe the baby is theirs.
    Poor suckers.
    *ermm* Not to assume anything but how do you know all this?

  8. #8
    Tom Paine's Avatar Mr Common Sense
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    Also, don't you think that men are somewhat to blame? According to the figures, the average man sleeps with more women than the average woman sleeps with men. So the men are more promiscuous and also, theoretically, more unfaithful. And yet you blame the women....?

  9. #9
    Epirote
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aztecateotl
    *ermm* Not to assume anything but how do you know all this?
    The neighbor had this kind of adventure.

    Quote Originally Posted by Squeakus Maximus
    Also, don't you think that men are somewhat to blame? According to the figures, the average man sleeps with more women than the average woman sleeps with men. So the men are more promiscuous and also, theoretically, more unfaithful. And yet you blame the women....?
    I am not saying men are better in fact they are worse.
    But is different to raise another man`s baby.
    It is cruel that some women do that to hard working men.

  10. #10
    Tom Paine's Avatar Mr Common Sense
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    And don't you think it would have been better had he not been told it was not his kid? Think about it. I don't see why blood matters: its your kid if you raise them like they are, not if they have half your DNA.

  11. #11
    Epirote
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    Quote Originally Posted by Squeakus Maximus
    And don't you think it would have been better had he not been told it was not his kid? Think about it.
    Well some men would prefer they never knew cause they love their kids But there is a BIG BUT
    The kids aren`t his.

    Some 2 years ago there was such case were a man found 2 of his 3 children were of his best friend.
    He divorced the woman and took all the 3 childrens to continue raise them.

  12. #12

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    Quote Originally Posted by Squeakus Maximus
    Also, don't you think that men are somewhat to blame? According to the figures, the average man sleeps with more women than the average woman sleeps with men. So the men are more promiscuous and also, theoretically, more unfaithful. And yet you blame the women....?
    Men have about 90% of the blame in my opinion because they sleep with every hot girl they see(well if they're good) and they think that they are players or pimps, but women are also to blame because they dont say the whole truth.
    Everybody could evade this problem by just having safe sex!

    The neighbor had this kind of adventure.
    Did he accept the child,dumped her...?
    Last edited by Ardeur; August 11, 2005 at 09:30 AM.

  13. #13
    Tom Paine's Avatar Mr Common Sense
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    Quote Originally Posted by Epirote
    Well some men would prefer they never knew cause they love their kids But there is a BIG BUT
    The kids aren`t his.

    Some 2 years ago there was such case were a man found 2 of his 3 children were of his best friend.
    He divorced the woman and took all the 3 childrens to continue raise them.
    But the kids are theirs, because he has raised them. DNA simply programs looks, not opinions or love. The man loves his kids so why take that away from him? In the example you give, surely that harms the kids and helps, well, no-one in the end? Telling them is pointless because there isn't anything you can do to reverse the situation and no good can really come of it.

  14. #14
    Epirote
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    My point is not that men are better or women are better.

    My point is the cruel act of making someone believe he is raising his own kids when in fact they are someone else`s babies.

    And some women do that.

  15. #15
    Tom Paine's Avatar Mr Common Sense
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    But why is it cruel? And what if the woman does not know? Sometimes, maybe oftentimes, they don't; why assume they always do? they aren't as cruel, cold and calculatingly ruthless as you portray them as, Epirote; at least no more so than men...

  16. #16
    Epirote
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aztecateotl
    Did he accept the child,dumped her...?
    Lets just say his life is now a mess.

    A total mental reck.

  17. #17
    Tom Paine's Avatar Mr Common Sense
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    Quote Originally Posted by Epirote
    Lets just say his life is now a mess.

    A total mental reck.
    Like I say: it is better to not know, because only bad can come of knowing. It makes no material difference until the knowledge is introduced, and ignorance is bliss. If the kid is treated as blood, then he is blood, as far as I am concerned.

  18. #18
    Epirote
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    Quote Originally Posted by Squeakus Maximus
    But the kids are theirs, because he has raised them. DNA simply programs looks, not opinions or love. The man loves his kids so why take that away from him? In the example you give, surely that harms the kids and helps, well, no-one in the end? Telling them is pointless because there isn't anything you can do to reverse the situation and no good can really come of it.
    Too liberal attitudes man.
    I will die laughing here.
    Spare me.

    What if the baby comes out black when both parents are white.
    You said DNA simply programs looks and I am very curious what you will say in this case.
    Or black couple with a white baby.

    Souch case have happened.

  19. #19

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    Quote Originally Posted by Squeakus Maximus
    But why is it cruel? And what if the woman does not know? Sometimes, maybe oftentimes, they don't; why assume they always do? they aren't as cruel, cold and calculatingly ruthless as you portray them as, Epirote; at least no more so than men...
    Men and women are the same when it comes to lying! If they will get something good out of it I'm 100% sure both will lie.

  20. #20
    Tom Paine's Avatar Mr Common Sense
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    I say that the kid is obviously not the kid of both "parents". But who cares, is my point? The DNA does not program who they love, et cetera. And by the way, that case was artificial insemination, where the doctor mixed up two sperm samples somehow. The upbringing and love the kid gets is more important than anything else, and anything jepardising that should not be allowed to.

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