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Thread: [SS/SV AAR] Heaven's Descent, Cyprus Reborn: A Crusader AAR (Updated 7/13)

  1. #101

    Default Re: [SS/SV AAR] Heaven's Descent, Cyprus Reborn: A Crusader AAR (Updated 1/31)

    Gosh, obviously I need to comment more since today's chapter blew me out of the water again! Nice to see such a unique aspect of the events during a campaign, and I'm definitely loving the intrigue parts. Keep it up!

  2. #102

    Default Re: [SS/SV AAR] Heaven's Descent, Cyprus Reborn: A Crusader AAR (Updated 1/31)

    .
    Last edited by Thokran; August 26, 2013 at 07:31 PM.

  3. #103

    Default Re: [SS/SV AAR] Heaven's Descent, Cyprus Reborn: A Crusader AAR (Updated 2/2)

    Wooo!! Gilbert is alive!!

    Intriguing indeed - and unexpectedly chivalrous of Marcel there, however unintended it may have been
    The Wings of Destiny - A FotS AAR (Chapter 12 - Updated Apr 24)
    Takeda - a Shogun 2 AAR (Completed) Reviewed by Radzeer

    My writing | My art | About me | Sekigahara Campaign - Developer

    ~~Under the proud patronage of Radzeer, Rogue Bodemloze. Patron of Noif de Bodemloze, Heiro de Bodemloze, and Hitai de Bodemloze~~

  4. #104

    Default Re: [SS/SV AAR] Heaven's Descent, Cyprus Reborn: A Crusader AAR (Updated 2/2)

    Indeed, Gilbert's return was surprising but welcome!

    I have to tell that I sense a shift in your storytelling angle.
    Makuria was quite campaign-based, the Teutons were more character-based, but still a lot of campaign, then Aragon was very much character-based with hints about the campaign and now this is almost no campaign! And excellently written in that! If not many questions are asked about the campaign, it means that people are drawn in by the story itself. Very good job!

  5. #105

    Default Re: [SS/SV AAR] Heaven's Descent, Cyprus Reborn: A Crusader AAR (Updated 2/2)

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    Last edited by Thokran; August 26, 2013 at 07:32 PM.

  6. #106

    Default Re: [SS/SV AAR] Heaven's Descent, Cyprus Reborn: A Crusader AAR (Updated OP 2/3 for New Readers)

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    Last edited by Thokran; August 26, 2013 at 07:33 PM.

  7. #107

    Default Re: [SS/SV AAR] Heaven's Descent, Cyprus Reborn: A Crusader AAR (Updated 2/4)

    Sublime. I love the way you mould the characters as the story progresses. Much intrigue clearly awaits
    The Wings of Destiny - A FotS AAR (Chapter 12 - Updated Apr 24)
    Takeda - a Shogun 2 AAR (Completed) Reviewed by Radzeer

    My writing | My art | About me | Sekigahara Campaign - Developer

    ~~Under the proud patronage of Radzeer, Rogue Bodemloze. Patron of Noif de Bodemloze, Heiro de Bodemloze, and Hitai de Bodemloze~~

  8. #108

    Default Re: [SS/SV AAR] Heaven's Descent, Cyprus Reborn: A Crusader AAR (Updated 2/4)

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    Last edited by Thokran; August 26, 2013 at 07:33 PM.

  9. #109

    Default Re: [SS/SV AAR] Heaven's Descent, Cyprus Reborn: A Crusader AAR (Updated 2/4)

    .
    Last edited by Thokran; August 26, 2013 at 07:35 PM.

  10. #110

    Default Re: [SS/SV AAR] Heaven's Descent, Cyprus Reborn: A Crusader AAR (Updated OP with Table of Contents, 2/8)

    Excellent plot and character development! I also like the pace of the story, slowly rolling on in the eastern Mediterranean... very nice.
    But I think one of the greatest elements of this story is the role of Isabella. It is not easy to find a central role for a woman in such stories, so that is a special feat!

  11. #111

    Default Re: [SS/SV AAR] Heaven's Descent, Cyprus Reborn: A Crusader AAR (Updated OP with Table of Contents, 2/8)

    .
    Last edited by Thokran; August 26, 2013 at 07:36 PM.

  12. #112

    Default Re: [SS/SV AAR] Heaven's Descent, Cyprus Reborn: A Crusader AAR (Updated 2/10)



    Wonderfully satisfying after the trials and tribulations of the last few chapters. I loved the sudden turn in Marie's character, as well as Philip's moment of aggression
    The Wings of Destiny - A FotS AAR (Chapter 12 - Updated Apr 24)
    Takeda - a Shogun 2 AAR (Completed) Reviewed by Radzeer

    My writing | My art | About me | Sekigahara Campaign - Developer

    ~~Under the proud patronage of Radzeer, Rogue Bodemloze. Patron of Noif de Bodemloze, Heiro de Bodemloze, and Hitai de Bodemloze~~

  13. #113
    Artifex
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    Default Re: [SS/SV AAR] Heaven's Descent, Cyprus Reborn: A Crusader AAR (Updated 2/10)

    That's more like it, princess.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 




    Marie: or else

    Laurence:
    Ubertino:
    Richard:
    Philip: From to
    Gilbert:
    Andronicus:
    Manfred:
    Isabella (soon to be):
    Last edited by Maltacus; February 10, 2012 at 10:10 AM.
    The Misadventures of Diabolical Amazons - Completed.
    An Orcs Tale, a Third Age AAR - Completed.
    Reviewed by Alwyn in the Critics Quill
    My Dread Lady, a Warcraft Total War AAR - 27 chapters done.
    Home to Midgard, a Third Age AAR about two dwarves, a spy and a diplomat - Completed (pictures remade up to chapter 19).
    Reviewed by Boustrophedon in The Critics Quill

  14. #114

    Default Re: [SS/SV AAR] Heaven's Descent, Cyprus Reborn: A Crusader AAR (Updated 2/10)

    Inspired by Maltacus, here is my representation of Princess Marie:

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    Eventually upon Thokran's consent to be....

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 


    Last edited by Robin de Bodemloze; February 10, 2012 at 12:49 PM.
    The Wings of Destiny - A FotS AAR (Chapter 12 - Updated Apr 24)
    Takeda - a Shogun 2 AAR (Completed) Reviewed by Radzeer

    My writing | My art | About me | Sekigahara Campaign - Developer

    ~~Under the proud patronage of Radzeer, Rogue Bodemloze. Patron of Noif de Bodemloze, Heiro de Bodemloze, and Hitai de Bodemloze~~

  15. #115

    Default Re: [SS/SV AAR] Heaven's Descent, Cyprus Reborn: A Crusader AAR (Updated 2/10)

    .
    Last edited by Thokran; August 26, 2013 at 07:36 PM.

  16. #116

    Default Re: [SS/SV AAR] Heaven's Descent, Cyprus Reborn: A Crusader AAR (Updated 2/10)

    .
    Last edited by Thokran; August 26, 2013 at 07:38 PM.

  17. #117

    Default Re: [SS/SV AAR] Heaven's Descent, Cyprus Reborn: A Crusader AAR (Updated 2/12)

    Great update as always! I thought the tension between Gilbert and Marie was very well done.

    And then he took an arrow to the knee.
    The Wings of Destiny - A FotS AAR (Chapter 12 - Updated Apr 24)
    Takeda - a Shogun 2 AAR (Completed) Reviewed by Radzeer

    My writing | My art | About me | Sekigahara Campaign - Developer

    ~~Under the proud patronage of Radzeer, Rogue Bodemloze. Patron of Noif de Bodemloze, Heiro de Bodemloze, and Hitai de Bodemloze~~

  18. #118
    Artifex
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    Default Re: [SS/SV AAR] Heaven's Descent, Cyprus Reborn: A Crusader AAR (Updated 2/12)

    An Aragonese hideous princess... So, from the previous descriptions I gather that she probably is said to have shining eyes and the softest of silk hair among the people of her own court? But alas, when the writer is from the more shallow and less understanding Crusader States such qualities are sadly overlooked...
    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

    Quote Originally Posted by Maltacus View Post

    About the sister-in-law Elvira:

    Gorgeous eyes and soft, lucious hair. Revered by the court for her charm. So this is what they call "Flawed Features" in Aragon... Some people never get satisfied
    Quote Originally Posted by Thokran View Post
    And about Elvira, lmao. I totally didn't catch that when I was cropping photos. Ah well, I guess you can say the Aragonese are very understanding and accepting of flawed features, and that whoever makes the ancillaries/traits is one shallow bastard.

    Your adventuring party are really hardcore diplomats. Nobody even contemplates retreating home to Cyprus for a while. Keep writing your very entertaining story

    Oh yes, about the princess card (WHY is it that your stories seem to end up in, and result in, obsession with princesses as soon as you pick Mediterranean factions? The "jewels of the Meditteranean", indeed): It's actually nothing grander than simple copy-pasting of a line and some stars from one of your other pics. It looks like robinzx pasted individual letters to form the hitherto unknown trait Master Swordswoman . I use GIMP for picture editing, if that matters. If you would want to have many (existing) traits it can be really worth it to mod a princess or whatever with those in the descr_strat - it is much easier to copy a longer list of traits than pick one from each of several pictures and get the same good result.

    If you really overdo this kind of thing it can end up as something like this :

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    Last edited by Maltacus; February 12, 2012 at 05:29 PM.
    The Misadventures of Diabolical Amazons - Completed.
    An Orcs Tale, a Third Age AAR - Completed.
    Reviewed by Alwyn in the Critics Quill
    My Dread Lady, a Warcraft Total War AAR - 27 chapters done.
    Home to Midgard, a Third Age AAR about two dwarves, a spy and a diplomat - Completed (pictures remade up to chapter 19).
    Reviewed by Boustrophedon in The Critics Quill

  19. #119

    Default Re: [SS/SV AAR] Heaven's Descent, Cyprus Reborn: A Crusader AAR (Updated 2/12)

    Another excellent chapter! The escape was masterfully written, and the last scene with Gilbert on the boat did really capture the feeling of it. I like the sky pic you added - and actually I have to say that while I am usually not a great fan of out-of-game pics, the plot-heavy way how you write this makes their inclusion very smooth (and of course you pick the right pictures too).

  20. #120

    Default Re: [SS/SV AAR] Heaven's Descent, Cyprus Reborn: A Crusader AAR (Updated 2/12)

    .
    Last edited by Thokran; August 26, 2013 at 07:39 PM.

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