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here is what i do against rams (and of course siege towers):
since fire arrows as you all know are not very effective against
wooden siege engine, i just don't waste my arrows on them.
(they just fire at the heavy infantry untis of the enemy)
best way to get rid of the sige engines is just to prevent the
enemy to use them or ate least prevent them from reaching
the gates and walls - by using cavalry. cavalry units are not
very usefull in settlement defending battles inside the walls.
this tactic is he only usefull for them during a siege battle.
the usage depends on the enemy army and how far they are away
from your walls. if they are far away and just have one ram
near he gate, i simply use a cavalry unit to run out and attack
them. after your cavalry has inflicted soem casualties and
beginn to loose own untis just withdraw them. in most cases
the enemy units who pushed the ram won't get back to it
but run to your walls or back to their general. if they get back
to grab the rams agains simply repeat the cavalry attack.
(best think here is that the units pushing the ram need some
time to let off from the ram - and in this time your cavalry
does some serious harm)
if the enemy is to near on your walls just order one or a few
cavalry units out of the side gates, where no enemy units are
heading to. than simply do the same charge on the ram but
this time from the side. it works the same.
after the first ram is "out of order" the AI will try to use the
next rams. (if they have some - but i guess they never have
just one) but in most cases theyjust leave them where they
started and get back if the first one is destroyed. so after your
cavalry has dealt with the first ram, pull them back right or
left to the flanks to position them behind the enemy and wait
for some infantry to grab the rams again and repeat the attack
to them.
but as meteioned before - you have to watch out, if your
units routing. they will run into the settlements and the gate
opens if ther are no enemy unit near it. and if have own troops
located near the gates the gate will not close again.
so just move troops away from the gate or withdraw your cavalry
through the side gates before the start to rout.
this all works for siege towers too. and you can use all other
too, becasue some faction have no cavalry to waste (HE, Dwarves).
here is a sketch for that: