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Thread: The Critic's Quill: Issue 4

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    Default The Critic's Quill: Issue 4



    Letter from the Editor
    I have been asked to give a scored review on one of the AARs. Of course I declined. My reasoning for this is that a score can never be reflective of a review. It is, nearly always, an arbitary number that signifies nothing. It also, I think, trivilises the reviewing process. An AAR can do so many things right, but just because it fails on one or two things it can be lumped with a mediocre AAR, that just does everything so-so. Just boiling down everything said by a reviewer to a number is not something I wish to advocate. While I want my reviewers to be as objective as possible, I still want their opinion of an AAR to show through. They write a review so that readers can get an understanding of an AAR, and decide if they want to read it. This is the primary reason I started the CQ, not to fluff up some AARtists egos, or necessarily give them feedback, though that is also part of what we do. All points regarding an AAR than must be taken into consideration, and one can only do that by writing a full and proper review on it.

    It may annoy some users that we only give recommendations, rather than scores, but that is a price I am willing to pay. It is one of the chief guidelines of writing a review for the CQ, and one that I will continue to enforce. A score would give the illusion that what the reviewer has said was fact, instead they are the opinions of knowledgeable hobbyists designed to enlighte, inform and entertain.
    [user]Fergusmck[/user]

    Table of Contents


    Light of the West by Cemendur Telcontar [user]Juvenal[/user]
    Light of the West

    Background
    Fourth Age Total War is an RTW mod which has perhaps been slightly overshadowed by the razzmatazz of Third Age Total War in recent weeks, but remains an immensely impressive piece of work. This AAR started way back in November 2007 and its author, goalieman4720, became so identified with this work that he has adopted the name of his protagonist: [user]Cemendur Telcontar[/user].

    The Story
    The AAR begins at the sundering of the Reunited Kingdom (that union of Gondor and Mordor established after the defeat of Sauron in Lord of the Rings). The two halves are ruled by brothers, rightful King Cemendur of Gondor, and rebel King Amandil of Andunbar. Standing behind Amandil is the true villain, Herumor the Black, leader of the Shadow Cult (a cabal dedicated to the memory of Morgoth and Sauron), whose background is slowly revealed during the course of the story.

    Cemendur (the Author) has set up his story very nicely for compatibility with RTW game-play. Herumor in a sense represents the AI, controlling the enemies of Cemendur with his manipulation. It will take more than merely winning battles and killing enemy leaders to defeat him.

    Fighting between the brothers starts immediately and we begin to get battle descriptions with screenshots from the FATW mod. The Gondorians are usually grossly outnumbered but outmatch any individual enemy man-for-man. They also pack immense missile power thanks to the Elves and Rangers included in their number. Cemendur's lieutenants gradually become characters in their own right as the campaign progresses, enabling the author to mix in more dialogue with the formal speeches that King Cemendur gives during battles.

    The action switches between Cemendur's campaign to the east, and the struggle against a Harad invasion of Gondor (in which Cemendur's eldest son Amantir soon features). These twin campaigns eventually run their course and we are treated to an epic resolution for the surviving major characters at the end of Part II.

    The Writing Style
    The AAR is written the style of high fantasy. There is little small talk, nothing whimsical, each character acts constantly under the burden of history and fate. The opening paragraphs carry some heavyweight exposition to acquaint the reader with the main characters and the thrust of the plot. I had to read it a couple of times before I got the character names and relationships right in my head.

    The author understands the need for bridges between episodes, and he generally ends each with either a cliff-hanger, or at least a foretaste of what will happen next. By this means, successive episodes gradually build the story up to a crescendo of desperate battles against enormous odds, noble sacrifice, the final confrontation with evil, a new beginning and the pain of loss.

    I did have some niggles. It is all very well for the “good” characters to use the word “Evil” to describe their foes, but it seems strange for “bad” characters to actually describe themselves as evil. I was also slightly concerned at the number of men Cemendur kills personally, often by beheading. But in fact this is entirely in keeping with Tolkien, who wrote of light-hearted banter between Legolas and Gimli regarding their respective kill-totals during the battle of Helm's Deep.

    Critique
    Cemendur favours big blocks of text. More paragraph breaks would have helped, especially for quoted speech, where I often got confused about who was speaking. The text is also in desperate need of a spelling checker and proof-reading.

    A number of anachronisms creep into the text, such as “that would be the smart thing to do” or “running resistance operations in Minas Ithil”. I understand that the language of the characters is assumed to have been transcribed into English for the story, but use of modern idiom lessens the feeling of immersion and suspension of disbelief required to fully enjoy the tale.

    The prose (which has a lot of potential) could be much improved with a bit of editing. It contains many of the problems I have in my own drafts. They are easily fixable, but the author just hasn't done it. Review is essential to create consistency in a piece. The raw product of a bout of creative passion needs polishing to give it that lustre which is characteristic of good writing.

    Here is a quite promising passage let down by lack of review:
    The waters of the river gently lapped against the shore. The sound of the calm waves was meshed with the calls of the gulls, who often flew around the shore during the day. The shore was white sand, that glistened in the midday sun.
    It is disjointed, and “shore” appears in three successive sentences. With a little bit of manipulation it could read much more smoothly, perhaps: “The waters of the river lapped gently against the shore, the soft sound of the waves contrasting with the harsh calls of gulls circling overhead. The white sand glistened in the midday sun.”

    Another example occurs in Part II Chapter 12, where the creation of the rebel kingdom of Andunbar is explained in flashback. Cemendur's brother Amandil asserts his claim to the throne at Cemendur's own coronation, but then appears to change his mind, announcing he is creating a separate kingdom for himself in the east, despite the fact that the revolt is occurring throughout the kingdom. Everyone is seems so beside themselves with anger that the next ten references to Amandil are actually written as Antanamir (Cemendur's son) before they revert to the correct name at the end of the chapter.

    I think the episode would make more sense if the announcement of the creation of Andunbar were moved out of the Coronation scene so that it took place after the failure of the revolt in the West, when Amandil knew he had failed to take the whole kingdom.

    The Pictures
    There are no campaign map pictures, which makes an appreciation of all the place names quite challenging (I think the reader is meant to either seek on-line Middle-Earth maps, or be playing FATW themselves). The battle pictures are cropped, but UI artifacts abound (pointer, unit-selection arrows, mouse-over descriptions). Some pictures even contain an extra copy of the horizon where cropping/cutting/pasting has gone wrong.

    The Battle of Durthang episode has a nice set of battle pictures, but the UI has been left in which makes it obvious this a custom battle, not the real battle from the campaign. This happens again in Part II Chapter 13. I can see it was done to allow two factions to defend the same settlement, but seeing the UI does rather spoil the effect.

    In the end, however, the pictures are merely a bonus, the text could (and sometimes does) stand perfectly well without them.

    Conclusion
    I have made criticisms in this review, but not because the AAR is bad, rather because it is good, and could, with a little bit of extra effort, have been even better.

    Cemendur has created an epic tale, echoing the tone of Tolkien's sagas. There are impressive speeches, desperate battles, thoroughly evil villains, and noble deeds. He has taken care to get his story arc to work properly so that when a conclusion comes, it feels both significant and satisfying. He is bound to get even better if he continues to write.

    There is more good news, after a nine month pause, Part III is now being written. The action has transferred to Cemendur's son and the three-way war between Gondor, Harad and Rhun. I am expecting great things.

    For Tea and Country by Tuore [user]Fergusmck[/user]
    For Tea and Country

    I make it no secret that I do not enjoy comedy AARs. It may be strange, then, to see me review on, given by strong bias I bring with me. 'For Tea and Country' is a typical comedy AAR. It falls into the many the pitfalls which, in my view, make the comedy AARs less enjoyable then the serious ones.

    First of all, it starts with a silly premise, namely King Billy is yearning for some tea. His demand for liquid satisfaction drives the events of the story. The story is introduced and told through the play like dialogue structure found in so many comedy AARs.

    William: Ahh, pass me the sugar, will you?

    Advisor: Sir, but we haven't got any docks to send it here.

    William: Let's take Goa.

    *One year, a war and a peace later*

    William: Now we have 25 chests of tea. Don't you want to drink it too, eh?

    Advisor: Sir. The citizens want us to attack France.

    William: What?

    Advisor: The people wants us to go to France.
    This quote not only serves to illustrate the format used, but also the jumpy, incoherent story. I do not read an AAR to hear that there is 'one year, a war and a peace'. I read an AAR to hear the story about that year, that war and that peace. Jumpimg over plot points like this does not a good AAR make. This leads to the story being ham fisted, and just serving to set up puns and jokes that make this AAR a comedy. This is perhaps my main issue with this AAR, and comedy AARs in general. Everything is about getting a little chuckle, at the expense of every story telling device. While I am sure [user]tuore[/user] could have crafted a well written and enjoyable story, certain later caveats in his narrative do point to an ability to do so, he does not. I do not think that a comedy AAR has to be devoid of a proper story, present in many of the serious AARs, but humour can develop from that.

    Another thing I do not like is when tuore breaks the fourth wall. He talks, through his characters, about Darthmod and low FPS. This just doesn't sit right. Though I do not like the use of smileys or emoticons in my AARs, or the ones I read, tuore has cultivated a laid back style in which the use of smileys does not jump out as odd.

    Tuore's comedy does develop over the course of his AAR. While at first it was mainly screaming for tea, and then saying something 'wacky' or 'zany', it does mature into something more akin to my sense of humour. I am just glad that the threatened Monty Python references failed to materialise (though I did notice one Life of Brian one) since I think that for a writer, especially a comedy writer, to have to rely on someone else's work to get a laugh is pretty bad. Though it can work in context, looking forward to writing a particular update because you can write in some well worn references is not a good thing.

    Tuore uses screenshots well, though at times they can become a tad over used. They are well cropped and are illustrative of the events.

    All in all, this is one of the better comedy AARs out there. While it still has not converted me, I can see some good in it. I would suggest just a thing or two, mainly getting rid of the quotes and references from other sources, and updating the format/style. Rather than the back and forth between monarch and advisor, I would like to see the story fleshed out. This lack of any real story or plot, and next to no exposition on that which is included, is one of the freat failings of this AAR. While this is a welcome improvement to the stable of comedy AARs, it still suffers from expecting the whacky to always be funny. If you are not a fan of comedies, I'd give this one a miss, but if you do enjoy tuore's, and other comedy AARtists, past work, this will be an enjoyable read for you.

    The Eastern Eagle by Antiochos VII Sidetes [user]SonofAlexander[/user]
    The Eastern Eagle

    Ptolemy Philadelphos is the central character of this AAR, an EB work begun in April this year. This AAR has no pictures and is therefore text-based. Many would frown and ‘turn over’ but with Antiochos writing, this is something to be treasured. Some are even speaking of a new upcoming [user]Lysimachos[/user], but before he is so hastily crowned he will have to prove himself worthy.

    The main character is Ptolemy, as I mentioned, who earns his title through his deeds - but I’ll not spoil the story! He fights in time of the Diadochi against Phoenici, Seleukids and Makedonians. Ptolemy’s development as a character is very detailed, and even though he is seen as a knowledgeable man, like Lausard from Richard Howard’s Bonaparte series he can be savage and aggressive when he needs to. In short, the character is simply made addictive, with quotes like:
    (after almost losing battle due to late reinforcements)

    “ “You're welcome, Egyptian.” his insolent grin struck a peculiar chord within me...

    I dismounted, and showed my teeth in what could not possibly be called a smile. I then proceeded to smash in his face with my fist.

    Even the sound of his nose breaking did nothing to assuage my anger.”
    The language of Antiochos’ choice is truly ‘the real McCoy’s’, with only the choicest words being allowed to flow through Sidetes’ river of description. Updates may not be that long, but they are certainly extremely thorough. It is descriptive, emotive, imperative…

    “It took every ounce of my academy-learned sword craft to keep their blades from the unprotected flesh of my arms and neck. All I knew was the ring of blade on metal. We fell into a mind-numbing routine of cut and thrust”
    The plot of Eastern Eagle is strong too. Many times a reader would be convinced of a disaster when Ptolemy triumphs, but not in a cheesy Hollywood, here comes the cavalry (though this has been the case literally ) way.

    There is one obvious flaw in this AAR and that is the lack of pictures. Of course, many a famous AAR, ‘Sword of Albion’ for example, have no pictures and it certainly hasn’t weighed them down; Some predictions of the failing of Antiochos's review on this point have failed to come true. Others would also be turned away by the small fonts of Antiochos, complaining about how hard they are to read. It has to be said that a great deal of squinting is needed to ascertain the creativity on show.

    In conclusion, Antiochos has made a great start to his writing career. The descriptions are sublime and even though there is a lack of pictures and the format does not make it easy to read, it still is a beautifully crafter piece.

    The Center of Conflict 2: Renaissance of the Fallen Empire by Heartfire [user]Fergusmck[/user]
    The Center of Conflict 2: Renaissance of the Fallen Empire

    When you see a new Juvenal or Kallum AAR appear, you know that you are in for a high standard of story telling. These guys represent the bankable, reliable AARtists that we all look forward to reading. Likewise, there are writers who have impressed of the bat. Red_October or B-rad spring to mind, with stories such as Ishtar Gate to Alexandria, or Those who go Together. [user]Heartfire[/user]'s first offering, while solid, did not reach those lofty heights. It held promise, and potential, but it was not a great AAR. I can say, truthfully, that in his sequel, Renaissance of an Empire, Heartfire fully delivers on that promise.

    I opened my review of Center of Conflict noting that Heartfire had failed to pin down his style successfully. That issue has been addressed, and the results are gratifying, to say the least. Regular readers will know that I am not a fan of comedy AARs, I often do not see the humour in the slap stick and childish jokes from which the writers try to get a laugh. Heartfire, while presenting a solidly constructed drama, is not austere. He has moments of comic relief, which are not forced into the writing, and are, believe it or not, actually funny. He manages to makes his writing both serious and light hearted. I think this comes from the respect that Heartfire shows for his audience, never are we thought of as infantile, prepubescents that laugh at any mention of sex or toilet humour. Instead we are greeted with funny and respectful jokes that never descend into the crassness with which I accused his previous work from doing.

    Heartfire presents his AAR in an imaginative way. A teenage character, Heartfire's avatar, finds a book buried in his back garden, a journal documenting the rise, or rebirth, of the HRE. He clearly separates the life of this teenager from that of the book, evidence by a change in font and style. It is this shift in style, from the light hearted to the serious, which gives this AAR it's extra edge. It is not just the story of the Austrian faction's rise, but it has something more to offer. His characters, especially his narrators, are well realised and bring this certain something to the table.

    I do have some concerns to raise, though. The story line sometimes jumps from event to event, and things are left out. I am sure I won't spoil the party by saying that the capture of Venice was unfulfilling. There had been no battle scenes up to this point, and I was looking forward to how Heartfire tackled them. I was sure that the siege and capture of Venice would present such an opportunity, though it was passed over in less than a paragraph. This is just one of the many instances of the plot being hurried, and not fully fleshed out.

    The descriptions of characters are not done to my liking. In one instance Xaver takes a paragraph to describe himself, in the third chapter however and completely out of context. It does not fit, and seems a bit heavy handed. This goes along with Heartfire's not so subtle characterisation of secondary cast members. While it is nice to see the Emperor fleshed out, I would rather him described in a less ham fisted manner.

    We have to wait a while for our first battle, Heartfire skips over plenty of places where he could have introduced one, which is mildly annoying. Heartfire does make a decent effort at the battle scenes, they are done well and are easy to follow. They are not anything special, but the do not detract from the overall experience.

    Heartfire has constructed a wonderful AAR here. While there is not much in the way of Campaign description, instead he focuses on his one character, I cannot fault that. His battle scenes are done well, they are entertaining and visceral. This is certainly one of the better Empire AARs, and will feature as an example for others to follow. While it does not reach the heights that some authors have scaled with their Rome or Medieval AARs, it has certainly been a promising start to Heartfire's contribution to the fora.

    The Story of the Moorish Empire of Timbuktu by Kallum [user]Selifator[/user]
    The Story of the Moorish Empire of Timbuktu

    [user]Kallum[/user] is a well known writer, renowned for Basileia ton Romaion, and always comes up with new ideas for AAR’s, something that immediately shows with this AAR. When you start reading 'The Story of the Moorish Empire of Timbuktu' you might wonder why it is in the Medieval 2 section, since it starts off with a scene taken from Call of Duty 4. Weird as it may seem, it is perfectly in keeping with the story as a whole.

    The basic premise is that an SAS soldier gets caught up in a time vortex and gets transported to Timbuktu, in the year 1081 (or there abouts). Quickly, he finds himself in the company of an old friend, and with their modern technology and strange clothing quickly convince the locals that they are in fact messengers from God. The story develops into a world wide search to find the device that sent the two of them back in time, and so return to their own era.

    What interests me in this AAR is the quite revolutionary beginning, which allows for an also completely revolutionary plot. I can’t remember anything like this before, but then again, Kallum is known for his new ideas that work out well so hopes are up for a great new story.
    There are however a couple of points that I would like to address, since they detract from an otherwise great story and AAR. Most of the screenshots are good, not great, but to the point and without unnecessary UI. A couple of the pictures, like the ones taken off in-game events or turn messages, are enlarged and quite pixilated. Though this is annoying and stands out against the otherwise good pictures, it is a limitation of the game, and not the author.

    Kallum’s writing is very good, one can read on without difficulty. He manages to draw you into the story without any problem. On occasion, spelling is not up to standard, which again is a shame since it stands out. What I also found a problem was the lack of paragraphs, which makes it hard to follow, again a failing of the layout and format, and not the writing.

    The font size is quite large, which is a good thing, but the font itself and the fact that it´s a big blob of text, not separated by paragraphs, is another failing, though this falls under the heading of personal preference. However, this is easily solved by pressing enter a couple of times, so it is easy to fix.

    If Kallum can clean this up, his AAR will be that much easier to read, and thus more enjoyable. But he´s already introduced something that´s even more promising than his plot.
    If you haven´t heard off or read Basileia ton Romaion I´ll give a quick premise. Kallum offered readers the chance to join in his AAR as advisors or generals, people who made decisions regarding the armies and cities of his faction. This is a great way of drawing people into your AAR, while still steering it in the direction you want as a writer. It´s also very unique, which is something that´s always appreciated at TWC.

    In 'The Story of the Moorish Empire', Kallum has invited readers to make a character and join the fun! Combine this with his new plot, and you have the recipe for a fantastic, interactive and involving AAR.

    On the whole, this AAR is very enjoyable, but there are a couple of areas in which Kallum could improve, thereby making the experience of reading and/or participating that much better.

    Interview
    [user]SonofAlexander[/user]
    This week [user]ReD_OcToBeR[/user] has been good enough to sit down and spend some time answering SonofAlexander's questions. My thanks to ReD_OcToBeR for taking the time to do this, and I hope you enjoy the interview.

    A good old favourite of Critic's Quill interviewers - why did you choose the name 'Red_October'?

    Well it's a name I've used in almost every game I have played since my early teens. I used to play Age of Empires online when it came out and that was my alias, and it has stuck ever since. The name comes from the movie "The Hunt for Red October", which is one of my favourite Sean Connery films. I read a lot of Russian WW2 / Cold War history also and I am fascinated by how the Red Army repelled Germany from Stalingrad. The name just fits my interests in many minor ways. I also like the colour red simply enough, and the month of October is one of the best in the year.

    You said at the beginning of Ishtar that you had published another AAR before that had failed. Had you tried to do this multiple times, or was Ishtar your second try at an AAR? And did your choice of subjects differ, ending up as the Seleucids or not?

    Yes, I did say that as I had another AAR called "The Rise of the Greek City States" which is probably still deep within the crevices of the AAR forum with a few missing links and whatnot by now. It was not a failure because it did not get a chance to become anything as my computer decided not to turn on one day. I got it fixed rather quickly from a friend but I lost my data beyond my documents. I could not restart the campaign as it was a mature campaign. So in a way through huge disappointment "Ishtar" almost never happened. I thought to myself: "Well I gotta start another one, but with who?" I looked around and noticed there were hardly any AARs focusing on the Seleucid Empire. I knew it would be a tough campaign and a little harder from a Greek City States one, but I wanted to do it. I am a huge fan of ancient Greek history having to do with all aspects, especially of Sparta, Alexander the Great, and the Seleucid Dynasty. So it was only natural for me to give it a go. Over the years I had always quit Seleucid campaigns due to frustrations of many fronts, but this time I was determined and here we are lol.

    What do you consider to be the weak points of your writing?

    The weak points I'd say are that a lot of the time I do not dwell deep into a character's "inner self". I graze the edges of them and don't really give the reader an inside look of them. I am working on this with my latest character though: Argeos. People will get a good taste of him. Another would be my grammar, because I am not the greatest speller around and rely heavily on spellcheckers. It's not that I don't understand how to write, its just I have have a hard time finding the right words to fit here and there. I was never a great English student but loved to read deep into history books and gained most of my knowledge that way. Another reason for the mistakes are my eyes: I wear special contacts for them, near the end of the day my eyes are "shot", and since I mostly do updates at night, the suffering shows lol. Thirdly there are times when the pictures are the only thing holding the update together while the text just "leans" against it which is caused by me just not planning it out properly and just rushing into it.

    Your AAR became famous very quickly on the RTW AAR sub-forum - are there any Rome AARs out there now that impress you
    particularly?

    Well the AAR that instantly stuck out to me when I joined TWC was MAA's Pyrrhic Dynasty because the alternate history of a Hellenic Power ruling over the Mediterranean in his campaign was very believable and just plain epic. It's like reading a little history book if the Greeks took Rome's spot ruling over the known world. It's a rather perfect balance of great writing and screenshots.

    Other AARs that truly impresses me right now in the RTW AAR forum are "The Eastern Eagle" and "Those Who Go Together" solely because the writing reads like a book I'd pay money for.

    You mentioned liking Greek history and I know you like the film 'Alexander' - is history a big part of what you do here at the forums, or
    do you mainly prefer the creative writing in AARs, TOTW etc... ?


    The main reason why I signed back onto the TWC forums was to one ask questions and most importantly to post my campaign in the Roma Surrectum forums. I just wanted to share like many other do for all mods. I say "back" onto the forums because I was signed up years back when Rome Total War was released mainly to download units and chat with other modders and people with requests for making a specific unit, giving ideas and input, talking about the game etc. I have since forgotten what my old user name was, therefore I signed up as I am now. My main reason now for being on the forum is for the AAR section which I owe Sunbird a thanks for introducing me to the AAR scene. He seen my posts in the RS forums and pushed me to start an AAR as he seen I had a knack for taking pictures and writing. At first I did not know the meaning of AAR. I looked around and soon educated myself rather quickly and started my own with no experience really. So here I am a few months later loving the AAR scene because I myself am a creative person and just enjoy telling stories and reading other's work.

    So do you like to get actively involved in modding yourself or as more of a creative contributor... or other? And you say you like writing stories - are there any outlets for your story-writing besides your AAR, like TOTW or something completely unrelated to the TWC forums?

    Well not anymore since there are full complete modifications for RTW now unlike the old days when people were awed by single unit skins and whatnot. I know the basics of adding units, and buildings, modifying them etc, but nothing major to talk about. I'd say just a creative contributor by giving ideas and opinions more than anything.

    To touch on my writing, there really isn't any outlet around besides my AAR on TWC. It was just more of a personal thing that I kept to myself until I started posting with my empires in the RS forums and then my AAR. A lot of my work is more visual outside of gaming and writing. As a pastime I build models of cars and have won contests in the past. I am also a good sketcher and love to draw anything ancient history or automotive related such as Hellenistic warriors/ armies/ buildings etc. All in all I have an affinity for many things, but Greek History is at the top of that list by far.

    What is your favourite TW game?

    My favourite TW game is by far Rome Total War because it's timeless, through the creation of awesome mods such as SPQR, RS, EB, DTW, XGM etc. I played Medieval 2 for quite awhile when it first came out but it just didn't quite have what Rome had. For myself graphics are not my number one concern, its the other content given to the player. Also the time period of Rome suits my interests better than Medieval, ie. the Greeks, Romans. Both are great games in their own right, and I do play Stainless Steel from time to time when I need a break from pikes or Romans and feel like going on a crusade or two lol.

    What do you do to relax besides Rome Total War?

    Besides playing Total War games, these days to relax I work on my car, and hang out with others who also share my love for them. I'm one of those car nuts lol. I just love making noise and going for long drives in my Grand Prix. Sunny days involve a case of beer or some rum with a few friends out on the deck. Life is good.

    Finally, do you have any tips for any wannabe AAR writers who have read Ishtar?

    Well from the short time span that I've been writing/posting Ishtar I've learned a few things. The first thing I done was to look around at other people's AARs to see what had been done, spot weaknesses, spot strong points, read the popular ones, read the not-so popular ones etc, because when I started I really didn't know what an AAR was. I had to educate myself on "their" build up and what made a good AAR. Honestly when I started, I wanted to post something great and popular. I had sort of a drive but didn't expect anything going into it. Don't set your expectations high.

    - Never ask " Does anyone like it?… is it bad?… blah blah..". Wait for people to post their thoughts. good or bad. I know that for myself I get annoyed by people who ask that.

    - Do not expect people to catch onto your AAR right away because you are stepping into a realm of giants where some people are strict followers of certain well established authors or AARs that are tough cookies to break. If your AAR is liked and you update frequently, people will notice eventually, while some will never post in your AAR even if they are popular users. Sometimes it takes many updates for people to post their thoughts because they lurk, like I do on many AARs.

    - Do your best to proof read and keep spelling mistakes out of your AAR. This draws some people away instantly. I am still struggling with this, but I'm human and sometimes cannot spot a mistake for the life of me.

    - Always have a problem in your story that must be resolved through the use of a character/s. Readers always like something huge that looks impossible to overcome.

    - I like to use suspense and cliffhangers to hook the reader to the next update. The longer people have to wait for an amazing ending to resolve the cliffhanger, the better. This is what drives T.V ratings, why not hijack it into AARs lol.

    - Enjoy your campaign and AAR. Don't fall into the trap of just updating because you "have to". Pick a faction no one ever uses. Do something different, try new ideas, take small events of the campaign and use them for your story or for major points. Use everything the campaign has to offer; "Just look around". Finally when you start an AAR have a strong starting post, they can really make a difference and personally they attract me when I click on a new AAR.

    ReD_OcToBeR is the writer of the RS AAR,
    The Ishtar Gate to Alexandria, reviewed in Issue 3 of the Critic's Quill. He has won the most recent MAARC, for April, so our congratulations go out to him for some wonderful work, and let's hope he keeps it up.

    From the Editor's Desk
    Again this week the team has done an excellent job. I really feel that everyone, including me, is learning and perfecting their style of writing and reviewing. It is a learning process for us, like I said last week, none of us are professional reviewers of journalists. We are hobbyists, who enjoy what we do and hope that other people do as well. The team has to be thanked, so Juvenal, SonofAlexander and Selifator, thank you guys. I would also like to thank Calvin for all his work with the ES and the CQ, in supporting us and helping us find our feet. Empress Meg has been a great help as well. I'd like to thank everyone who reads the CQ, we hit over 1,000 views on the last issue, for making it a success. Until the next time, keep safe.
    Last edited by Juvenal; March 31, 2010 at 08:20 AM.
    Proud to be under the patronage of Calvin.
    Patron of Lysimachus

  2. #2
    Kallum's Avatar I win, you lose!
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    Default Re: The Eagle Standard presents: The Critic's Quill Vol. I Edition IV

    I thank you for your review I'll look at the paragraph thing from now on
    Carl von Dobeln's son
    How it all began
    Author of the Basileia ton Romaion Series book 1, 2, 3
    The work has been done, the trilogy is completed or has it?

  3. #3
    tuore's Avatar Senator
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    Default Re: The Eagle Standard presents: The Critic's Quill Vol. I Edition IV

    Thanks for reviewing my AAR too!


  4. #4

    Default Re: The Eagle Standard presents: The Critic's Quill Vol. I Edition IV

    Quote Originally Posted by Kallum View Post
    I thank you for your review I'll look at the paragraph thing from now on
    You're welcome, just keep it rolling and all will be fine!
    Every time you :wub:, god kills another kitten.
    If you're gonna hire Machete to kill the bad guy, you better make damn sure the bad guy isn't YOU!

    'I understand, and I take the light into my soul. I will become the spear of Khaine. Lightning flashes, blood falls, death pierces the darkness.' , Dhrykna.

  5. #5

    Default Re: The Eagle Standard presents: The Critic's Quill Vol. I Edition IV

    Thanks for reviewing! I've known there were quirks in my work, but this review has given me the resolve to fix them and make my AAR even better. I might go back and edit the entire story if i get the chance Again thanks!


    Light of the West
    An AAR for Fourth Age Total War: The New Shadow

  6. #6
    ReD_OcToBeR's Avatar Senator
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    Default Re: The Eagle Standard presents: The Critic's Quill Vol. I Edition IV

    Another good edition. Thnx for wanting to interview me SoA for this edition, I enjoyed it.

    To anyone who hasn't read the Eastern Eagle, do so, because it's a great read with many cunning twists.

  7. #7

    Default Re: The Eagle Standard presents: The Critic's Quill Vol. I Edition IV

    Thumbs up!
    I'm impressed at how quickly you guys got the next issue out :-D

  8. #8

    Default Re: The Eagle Standard presents: The Critic's Quill Vol. I Edition IV

    Another solid edition.
    Son of PW

  9. #9
    Jingles's Avatar Praefectus
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    Default Re: The Eagle Standard presents: The Critic's Quill Vol. I Edition IV

    Great job. Totally agree on the refusal of numbered scores, btw. Unlike reviewing something like a videogame, AARs rarely fit to a set standard to be judged by, I feel. It's like asking "out of an apple and a bannana, which is the better fruit?" - irritating and pointless.

  10. #10

    Default Re: The Eagle Standard presents: The Critic's Quill Vol. I Edition IV

    Quote Originally Posted by Jingle_Bombs View Post
    irritating and pointless.
    That's good discription for this article.

  11. #11

    Default Re: The Eagle Standard presents: The Critic's Quill Vol. I Edition IV

    Hey, thanks for reviewing my AAR! I enjoyed it. I suppose you have a point on the font size, heh...

    Game of the Fates
    Mod of the week on hold -- I've played nearly every RTW mod out there.
    BOYCOTT THE USE OF SMILEYS! (Okay, just once)
    Antiochos VII...last true scion of the Seleucid dynasty...rest in peace, son of Hellas.
    I've returned--please forgive my long absence.

  12. #12

    Default Re: The Eagle Standard presents: The Critic's Quill Vol. I Edition IV

    Quote Originally Posted by dirty_M View Post
    That's good discription for this article.
    And by that you mean?
    Every time you :wub:, god kills another kitten.
    If you're gonna hire Machete to kill the bad guy, you better make damn sure the bad guy isn't YOU!

    'I understand, and I take the light into my soul. I will become the spear of Khaine. Lightning flashes, blood falls, death pierces the darkness.' , Dhrykna.

  13. #13

    Default Re: The Eagle Standard presents: The Critic's Quill Vol. I Edition IV

    Well done guys!

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