Your nation's jokes (also rude ones) about other nations?

[Domen123]

Some Polish jokes about Germans and Germany:

"Three guys are debating about which of their languages is the most pleasing to the ear.

The Spaniard says: "Consider the word for 'butterfly'. In Spanish, it is pronounced 'Mariposa', a beautiful sounding word."

The French man says: "True, but Papillion, the French word for butterfly, is even more beautiful."

"What's wrong with Schmetterling?" - asks the German."

Another one:

"- where does Germany lie?
- near Stalingrad."

"- What are surnames of the three greatest German scientists?
- Einstein, Zweisten, Dreistein."

"- How does a typical German look like?:
- Tall like Goebels, slim like Goering and fair-haired like Hitler!"

"- What does it mean when a cow is nicer than a woman?
- You are in Germany !"

"- How you can sink a German submarine?
- You need to send a diver and tell him to knock the manhole!"

"- What does a German do when he opens a fish can?
- First of all - he arranges everything - Ordnung must sein!"

"- Why do Germans have got so few children?
- Because they are afraid that their children may inherit their mother's beauty !"

"- Why do German men value Polish bricklayers?
- Because they finally learned how to lay bricks.
- And why do German women value Polish bricklayers?
- Because they finally learned what does orgasm mean !"

"- Why does German bathtub has got two outflows?
- Because one is for hot water and one is for cold water !"

"Do you know how Germany was created? God was sitting near the Oder river, and was moulding our beautiful country - Poland. And he was throwing things which did not work out behind his back."

"- what is the name of this German who always hides my glasses?
- Alzheimer, grandpa!"

"- Bill Gates - the reachest American - was waiting for brain transplantation - he had got three brains to choose - Polish, Russian and German.
- Which one did he choose?
- A German one.
- Why?
- Because it was unused!"

"II World War - Russian soldiers are plundering a German cemetery. They are jumping from one grave to another - and reading who is buried there:
- Albert Hess
- Bruno Schwarz
- Herman Guttman
- Edward von Klinkerhoffen
- Achtung Minen"

"- What is the GREATEST DREAM of every German between 40 and 75 Jahre alt?
- GARTENZWERG !"