Results 1 to 20 of 20

Thread: Your nation's jokes (also rude ones) about other nations?

  1. #1
    Pili Posterior
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    2,731
    Tournaments Joined
    0
    Tournaments Won
    0

    Default Your nation's jokes (also rude ones) about other nations?

    Some Polish jokes about Germans and Germany:

    "Three guys are debating about which of their languages is the most pleasing to the ear.

    The Spaniard says: "Consider the word for 'butterfly'. In Spanish, it is pronounced 'Mariposa', a beautiful sounding word."

    The French man says: "True, but Papillion, the French word for butterfly, is even more beautiful."

    "What's wrong with Schmetterling?" - asks the German."

    Another one:

    "- where does Germany lie?
    - near Stalingrad."

    "- What are surnames of the three greatest German scientists?
    - Einstein, Zweisten, Dreistein."

    "- How does a typical German look like?:
    - Tall like Goebels, slim like Goering and fair-haired like Hitler!"

    "- What does it mean when a cow is nicer than a woman?
    - You are in Germany !"

    "- How you can sink a German submarine?
    - You need to send a diver and tell him to knock the manhole!"

    "- What does a German do when he opens a fish can?
    - First of all - he arranges everything - Ordnung must sein!"

    "- Why do Germans have got so few children?
    - Because they are afraid that their children may inherit their mother's beauty !"

    "- Why do German men value Polish bricklayers?
    - Because they finally learned how to lay bricks.
    - And why do German women value Polish bricklayers?
    - Because they finally learned what does orgasm mean !"

    "- Why does German bathtub has got two outflows?
    - Because one is for hot water and one is for cold water !"

    "Do you know how Germany was created? God was sitting near the Oder river, and was moulding our beautiful country - Poland. And he was throwing things which did not work out behind his back."

    "- what is the name of this German who always hides my glasses?
    - Alzheimer, grandpa!"

    "- Bill Gates - the reachest American - was waiting for brain transplantation - he had got three brains to choose - Polish, Russian and German.
    - Which one did he choose?
    - A German one.
    - Why?
    - Because it was unused!"

    "II World War - Russian soldiers are plundering a German cemetery. They are jumping from one grave to another - and reading who is buried there:
    - Albert Hess
    - Bruno Schwarz
    - Herman Guttman
    - Edward von Klinkerhoffen
    - Achtung Minen"

    "- What is the GREATEST DREAM of every German between 40 and 75 Jahre alt?
    - GARTENZWERG !"
    Last edited by Domen123; May 12, 2009 at 09:13 AM.

  2. #2
    numerosdecimus's Avatar Sōkō no yari
    Citizen

    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    1,126
    Tournaments Joined
    0
    Tournaments Won
    0

    Default Re: Your nation's jokes (also rude ones) about other nations?

    Portuguese joke:

    "Então Fernão mentes? Sim, minto!"

    Translation: "So Fernão do you lie? Yes I lie!"

    Fernão - Fernão

    mentes - Mendes

    minto - Pinto

    Name of the historical personality: Fernão Mendes Pinto

    If you don't get the joke that's ok.

  3. #3
    Swagger's Avatar Imperial Coffee-Runner
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Portugal
    Posts
    12,563
    Tournaments Joined
    0
    Tournaments Won
    0

    Default Re: Your nation's jokes (also rude ones) about other nations?

    Quote Originally Posted by numerosdecimus View Post
    Portuguese joke:

    "Então Fernão mentes? Sim, minto!"

    Translation: "So Fernão do you lie? Yes I lie!"

    Fernão - Fernão

    mentes - Mendes

    minto - Pinto

    Name of the historical personality: Fernão Mendes Pinto

    If you don't get the joke that's ok.
    im pretty sure they won't get the joke

    it's pretty much a portuguese people only joke




    ignorantes...

    Under the Patronage of the Dreadful cedric37!
    Ancs Guide, Emergent Factions , Yes/No Events |L'Outremer for Modders| Swagger's Skymod

  4. #4
    Pili Posterior
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    2,731
    Tournaments Joined
    0
    Tournaments Won
    0

    Default Re: Your nation's jokes (also rude ones) about other nations?

    German joke about Poles made before Euro 2008:



    Polish respond to this joke:



    He says:

    "Behind us there are six drunk Germans. Could you take care of them and their car?"

    Another respond:



    "Euro 2008:

    Not for idiots!"

    ------------------------------------

    Two more German jokes about Poles:



    Last edited by Domen123; May 12, 2009 at 09:20 AM.

  5. #5
    Prof's Avatar Polemarchos
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Posts
    3,477
    Tournaments Joined
    0
    Tournaments Won
    0

    Default Re: Your nation's jokes (also rude ones) about other nations?

    Well...most of those german-jokes are transformed blonde jokes and/or have nothing to do with reality.

    Now here are some of ours xD

    What is green and flies through the skies of Poland?
    Peter Panski

    What is green and runs through the forests of Poland?
    Robin Hoodski

    How do you notice a Pole has made it into heaven?
    The Big Dipper (in German it is "Großer Wagen" (great wagon)) is missing its wheels

    A short sentence with 3 lies:
    Honest Pole with own car is looking for work

    What do you call it when 2 whites are pushing a car?
    -White Power
    What do you call it when 2 blacks are pushing a car?
    -Black Power
    What do you call it when 2 Poles are pushing a car?
    -grand theft auto

    Don't laugh if a Pole in a car hits a tree...it could be yours

    When is Christmas in Poland?
    2 days after Germany

    Why do Germans like shopping in Poland?
    to get their stuff back


    I decided not to use any WWII jokes because they are tasteless and I decided only to use Poland-jokes, because I felt slightly offended by the first post.
    Prof's Collection (Rome 2 Mods)
    Creator of Polemarchia: Total War
    Under the patronace of Epistolary Richard
    <- Now with Rome 2 screens and vids

  6. #6
    sabaku_no_gaara's Avatar Centurio Primus Pilus
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Belgium
    Posts
    8,912
    Tournaments Joined
    0
    Tournaments Won
    0

    Default Re: Your nation's jokes (also rude ones) about other nations?

    Quote Originally Posted by Domen123 View Post

    "II World War - Russian soldiers are plundering a German cemetery. They are jumping from one grave to another - and reading who is buried there:
    - Albert Hess
    - Bruno Schwarz
    - Herman Guttman
    - Edward von Klinkerhoffen
    - Achtung Minen"
    This one I like, Achtung minen is: beware! Mines

    I'm dutch so a lot of our jokes are about Belgians nut I'm too lazy to type a full joke you won't get annyway


    @Prof: lol I live in Belgium, and I've seen 90% of those jokes there as jokes about morrocans :p
    Last edited by sabaku_no_gaara; May 12, 2009 at 09:20 AM.

  7. #7
    Pili Posterior
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    2,731
    Tournaments Joined
    0
    Tournaments Won
    0

    Default Re: Your nation's jokes (also rude ones) about other nations?

    Quote Originally Posted by Prof
    Well...most of those german-jokes are transformed blonde jokes and/or have nothing to do with reality.

    Now here are some of ours xD
    Hi Prof,

    Almost all of German polish-jokes are based on one (maybe two) stereotype (s) - of course some of them are funny - but Polish german-jokes are more varied .

  8. #8
    Prof's Avatar Polemarchos
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Posts
    3,477
    Tournaments Joined
    0
    Tournaments Won
    0

    Default Re: Your nation's jokes (also rude ones) about other nations?

    yeah because you take any joke and replace the victim with a German...which most of the time leads to jokes which don't have anything to do with reality
    Prof's Collection (Rome 2 Mods)
    Creator of Polemarchia: Total War
    Under the patronace of Epistolary Richard
    <- Now with Rome 2 screens and vids

  9. #9
    Arn's Avatar Sponge worthy
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Örebro Sweden
    Posts
    863
    Tournaments Joined
    0
    Tournaments Won
    0

    Default Re: Your nation's jokes (also rude ones) about other nations?

    Lol this is interesting. Germans makes jokes about Poles and Poles about Germans. It's excactly the same thing with Swedes and Norweigans
    I made a lot of music for RS II, and that is very awesome because RS II is a very awesome mod!

  10. #10
    Belgian General's Avatar Senshi
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    1,508
    Tournaments Joined
    0
    Tournaments Won
    0

    Default Re: Your nation's jokes (also rude ones) about other nations?

    Or between the Dutch and the Belgians.

  11. #11
    Mr. Pink's Avatar Kamikaze
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    5,342
    Tournaments Joined
    0
    Tournaments Won
    0

    Default Re: Your nation's jokes (also rude ones) about other nations?

    What do you call the Englishmen in England?

    A bunch of wanks.

    Quote Originally Posted by Danny_K_1 View Post
    They tried to protest in Glasgow and someone was raped at their camp. Moral of the story is children: do not camp overnight in Glasgow City Centre.
    Post of The Year 2011
    Quote Originally Posted by Ima Farmathar View Post
    knowing what is about to happen I whisper in her ear,
    “do you know what makes us different from other animals?, We follow our prey, a lion or a tiger gets bored and follows something else, we persist” -------------------------------------------------------------------
    yhea i once did that, to a girl in higschool, i pressured her until she agreed to go sailing in a 10 ft baue, but she almost drowned so i no longer try that





  12. #12
    Taxandrius's Avatar Centurio Primus Ordine
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Vlaanderen
    Posts
    7,800
    Tournaments Joined
    0
    Tournaments Won
    0

    Default Re: Your nation's jokes (also rude ones) about other nations?

    about foreigners (no offense, I just quote someone):

    The king of Belgium, pres. Sarkozy of France, king Juan Carlos of Spain and the king of Morocco are sitting in an airplane, flying from Belgium to Morocco. After a min. or 2, Albert (BEL) opens his window and smells. "We're still in Belgium", he says. The others ask him how he knows. "Do you smell the stench of our pollution, the sweet odor of our beers ? That's Belgium!". 30 min. later, Sarko opens his window. "We're in France". "How do you know", the others ask ? "Don't you smell the sweet odors of our lavendre, the Provence and the burning cars in the Banlieu's , That's France !". 30 min later, Juan opens his window and says: "This is Spain: the smell of Andalusia, the odor of bull poo, that's Spain". 1h later, the king of Morocco opens his window and puts his arm out of the window, and says "We're in Morocco". The others ask: "How do you know that ?? You haven't smelled yet ?!". "No, I didn't", he says, "but my watch is stolen."

    What's one Turk in a garbage can ?
    avaricious, there's room for two !

    (These jokes are not mine, their just jokes I hear every day)

  13. #13
    Prof.Moriarty's Avatar Kirā
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Bleiswijk
    Posts
    252
    Tournaments Joined
    0
    Tournaments Won
    0

    Default Re: Your nation's jokes (also rude ones) about other nations?

    A belgian joke (no offense)

    After excavations in the Russian soil to a depth of 100 meters have Russian scientists found residues of copper wires, with an estimated age of about 1000 years. The Russians have thus concluded that their ancestors 1,000 years ago already had a copper network!

    Not left behind its U.S. scientists their soil while stripping at a depth of 200 meters fiber glass was founded. These fibers were found after examining some 2,000 years old to be
    which the Americans concluded that their ancestors 2000 years ago already had a very advanced digital fiber network in their possession.
    And that about 1,000 years befor the Russians ...

    A week later, the Belgians published the following report: "After excavations in the Belgian soil to a depth of 500 meters, Belgian scientists have found absolutely nothing." The Belgians claim that about 5000 years ago the Old Belgians already were in possession of a wireless network
    More GG, More skill

  14. #14
    english tyrant's Avatar Chugen
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Colchester
    Posts
    2,118
    Tournaments Joined
    0
    Tournaments Won
    0

    Default Re: Your nation's jokes (also rude ones) about other nations?

    Quote Originally Posted by Danny_C_1 View Post
    What do you call the Englishmen in England?

    A bunch of wanks.


    (I mean no offense by this I just thought it was amusing)
    Q: What was the last thing going through Mr. Jones' head while sitting on the 90th floor of the WTC?
    A: The 91st floor.

  15. #15
    Kamos's Avatar Renegade Minotaur
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Posts
    14,462
    Tournaments Joined
    0
    Tournaments Won
    0

    Default Re: Your nation's jokes (also rude ones) about other nations?

    The French.
    Logical paradoxes and giant dragons don't get on.

  16. #16
    King Nud's Avatar Auxiliarius
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Newton Stewart, Scotland
    Posts
    6,000
    Tournaments Joined
    0
    Tournaments Won
    0

    Default Re: Your nation's jokes (also rude ones) about other nations?

    ^ lol ^

    When a Jumbo Jet lands at Sydney, how do you tell it contains English people?



    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    When they switch the engines off, the whining doesn't stop!
    Staff Writer at KingJamesGospel.com

  17. #17
    EireEmerald's Avatar Tribunus
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Some forest in Ireland.
    Posts
    11,874
    Tournaments Joined
    0
    Tournaments Won
    0

    Default Re: Your nation's jokes (also rude ones) about other nations?

    Irish Humour FTW







    Tommy Tiernan on the Polish


  18. #18
    Norge's Avatar Pili Posterior
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Posts
    2,586
    Tournaments Joined
    0
    Tournaments Won
    0

    Default Re: Your nation's jokes (also rude ones) about other nations?

    Why did God create Swedes? So that Norwegians would have something to laugh at.

  19. #19
    Sebdeas's Avatar Seigen
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Haarlem,The Netherlands
    Posts
    1,271
    Tournaments Joined
    0
    Tournaments Won
    0

    Default Re: Your nation's jokes (also rude ones) about other nations?

    I know jokes about something I'm positive I can't joke about on the forum (Hitler+holocaust).

    And an obligatory racist one (sorry, I didn't make it up)
    A Moroccan and a Turk are in a car, who's driving?

    The Cops!
    Just a joke fella's

  20. #20
    Guy's Avatar Part-Time Révolutionary
    Content Staff

    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Belfast, Éire
    Posts
    4,198
    Tournaments Joined
    0
    Tournaments Won
    0

    Default Re: Your nation's jokes (also rude ones) about other nations?

    Sorry but this is a competition of who can offend the other nation the most!
    I'm going to close it for now, please feel free to PM me if you have any questions.

    Closed.

    Graphics Workshop | My Graphics Gallery
    House of Caesers
    Under the patronage and son of Empress Meg
    Brother of the mighty Geat Carl von Döbeln


    "We had dreams and songs to sing."
    The Fields of Athenry

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •