Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: Are you quitting on me? Well, are you? Then quit, you slimy
ing walrus-looking piece of
! Get the
off of my obstacle! Get the
down off of my obstacle! NOW! MOVE IT! Or I'm going to rip your balls off, so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world! I will motivate you, Private Pyle, IF IT SHORT-DICKS EVERY CANNIBAL ON THE CONGO!
--------------
Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: How tall are you, private?
Pvt. Cowboy: Sir, five-foot-nine, sir.
Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: Five-foot-nine, I didnt know they stacked
that high.
--------------
Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: Were you born a fat, slimy, scumbag puke piece o'
, Private Pyle, or did you have to work on it?
--------------
Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: Oh that's right, Private Pyle, don't make any
ing effort to get to the top of the
ing obstacle. If God would have wanted you up there he would have miracled your ass up there by now, wouldn't he?
--------------
Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: I'll bet you're the kind of guy that would
a person in the ass and not even have the goddam common courtesy to give him a reach-around. I'll be watching you.
--------------
Gunnery Sgt. Hartman:
. It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your mama's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress.
--------------
Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: What is your major malfunction, numbnuts? Didn't Mommy and Daddy show you enough attention when you were a child?
--------------
Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: Private Joker, do you believe in the Virgin Mary?
Pvt. Joker: Sir, no, sir!
Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: Well, well, Private Joker, I dont believe I heard you correctly!
Pvt. Joker: Sir, the private said "no, sir," sir!
Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: Why you little maggot, you make me want to vomit! *slaps* You goddamn communist heathen, you had best sound off that you love the Virgin Mary, or I'm gonna stomp your guts out! Now you DO love the Virgin Mary, don't ya?
Pvt. Joker: Sir, NEGATIVE, sir!
Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: Private Joker, are you trying to offend me?
Pvt. Joker: Sir, NEGATIVE, sir! Sir, the private belives any answer he gives will be wrong and the Senior Drill Instructor will only beat him harder if he reverses himself, SIR!
Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: Whos you're squad leader, scumbag?
Pvt. Joker: Sir, the squad leader is Private Snowball, sir!
Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: Private Snowball!
Pvt. Snowball: Sir, Private Snowball reporting as ordered, sir!
Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: Private Snowball, you're fired. Private Joker's promoted to squad leader.
Pvt. Snowball: Sir, aye-aye, sir!
Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: Disappear, scumbag!
Pvt. Snowball: Sir, aye-aye, sir!
---------------
Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: Does your parents have any children that lived?
Pvt. Pyle: Sir, yes, sir.
Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: Well how about they regret that? You are so ugly you can be a modern art master piece! What's your name fat-body?
Pvt. Pyle: Sir, Leonard Lawrence, sir.
Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: Lawrence? Lawrence, what of Arabia?
Pvt. Pyle: Sir, no, sir.
Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: That name sounds like royalty, are you royalty?
Pvt. Pyle: Sir, no, sir.
Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: Do you suck dicks?
Pvt. Pyle: Sir, no, sir.
Gunnery Sgt. Hartman:
, I bet you could suck a golf ball through a garden hose.
Pvt. Pyle: Sir, no, sir.
Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: I don't like the name Lawrence, only faggots and sailors are called Lawrence. From now on you're Gomer Pyle.
Pvt. Pyle: Sir, yes, sir.
-------------
Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: Whats your name, scumbag?
Pvt. Snowball: Sir, Private Brown, sir!
Gunnery Sgt. Hartman:
! From now on you're Private Snowball. Do you like that name?
Pvt. Snowball: Sir, yes, sir!
Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: Well there's one thing that you won't like, Private Snowball: they don't serve fried chicken and watermelon on a daily basis in my mess hall.
Pvt. Snowball: Sir, yes, sir!
--------------
Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: Left shoulder, hut!
*Pyle puts his rifle on the right shoulder, then tries to correct himself*
Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: Private Pyle, what are you trying to do to my beloved Corps?
Pvt. Pyle: Sir, I dont know, sir!
Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: You are dumb, Private Pyle, but do you expect me to believe that you don't know left from right?
Pvt. Pyle: Sir, no, sir!
Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: Then you did it on purpose! You wanna be different!
Pvt. Pyle: Sir, no, sir!
Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: *slaps Pyle on the left side of the face* What side was that Pyle?
Pvt. Pyle: Sir, left side, sir!
Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: Are you sure, Pyle!?
Pvt. Pyle: Sir, yes, sir!
Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: *slaps him on the right side of his face* What side was that Pyle!?
Pvt. Pyle: *nearly crying* Sir, right side, sir!
Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: Don't
with me again, Pyle! Pick up your
in' cover!
Pvt. Pyle: Sir, yes, sir!
----------------
*Joker is doing pull-ups*
Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: One for the Commandant! One for the Corps! Come on Joker, pull! Pull!
*Joker cant do another*
Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: I guess the Corps don't get theirs!
*Pyle steps up*
Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: Get up there, fat boy!
*Pyle cant do a single pull-up*
Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: Come on, Pyle! Pull! Pull! You mean to tell me you can't do one single pull up Pyle? You are a worthless piece of
, Pyle! Get outta my face!
------------
Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: Who said that? Who the
said that? Who's the slimy little communist
, twinkle-toed
er down here who just signed his own death warrant? Nobody, huh? The fairy
ing godmother said it. Out-
ing-standing! I will PT you all until you
ing die! I'll PT you until your
s are sucking buttermilk!
Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: *grabs Cowboy* Was it you, you scroungy little
, huh!?
Pvt. Cowboy: Sir, no, sir!
Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: You little piece of
! You look like a
ing worm! I bet it was you!
Pvt. Cowboy: Sir, no, sir!
Pvt. Joker: Sir, I said it, sir!
Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: Well, no
. What have we got here, a
ing comedian? Private Joker. I admire your honesty. Hell, I like you, you can come over to my house and
my sister! *punches Joker in the stomach* You little scumbag! I got your name! I got your ass! You will not laugh! You will not cry! You will learn by the numbers. I will teach you! Now get up! Get on your feet! You had best un
yourself or I will unscrew your head and
down your neck!
Pvt. Joker: Sir, yes, sir!
Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: Private Joker, why did you join my beloved Corps?
Pvt. Joker: Sir, to kill, sir!
Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: So you're a killer?
Pvt. Joker: Sir, yes, sir!
Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: Then let me see your warface!
Pvt. Joker: Sir?
Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: You got a warface! AAAAAAAAH!! Thats a warface, let me see your warface!
Pvt. Joker: Ahhh!
Gunnery Sgt. Hartman:
. You didnt convince me, let me see your REAL warface!
Pvt. Joker: AHHHHHHHHHH!!
Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: You dont scare me! Work on it!
Pvt. Joker: Sir, yes, sir!
--------------------
Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: I'm Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, your senior drill instructor, from now on you will speak only when spoken to, and the first and the last word out of your filthy sewers will be "Sir". Do you maggots understand that?
Recruits: Sir, yes, sir!
Gunnery Sgt. Hartman:
I can't hear you. Sound off like you got a pair!
Recruits: SIR, YES, SIR!
Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: If you ladies leave my island, if you survive recruit training, you will be a weapon. You will be a minister of death praying for war. But until that day you are pukes. You are the lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even human,
ing beings. You are nothing but unorganized grabastic pieces of amphibian
. Because I am hard you will not like me. But the more you hate me the more you will learn. I am hard but I am fair. There is no racial bigotry here. I do not look down on
, kikes, wops or greasers. Here you are all equally worthless. And my orders are to weed out all non-hackers who do not pack the gear to serve in my beloved Corps. Do you maggots understand that?